5 Highball Exit (18 page)

CHAPTER 40

Waiting outside the
ICU
was about as comfortable as sitting inside a freezer in my underwear. A nurse saw me shivering and stopped to see if I was all right.

“Cold, very cold in here,” I said between chattering teeth. “I’ll get you a blanket.”

“Wait,” I called. “When can I see Aunt Kay . . . Mrs. Fairchild?”

“I’ll ask.”

She came back with a flannel sheet and wrapped it around me. “I heated it.”

“Heaven.” I tried to smile.

“They’re doing an echocardiogram,” the nurse said. “You can see her shortly.”

At least Aunt Kay was still alive. That was something.

It seemed forever before the door opened and the nurse said, “You can come in now.”

Aunt Kay was hooked to a load of machinery that hummed and beeped. It was a world with no before and no after, just the here and now, marked by the immediacy of the pulse of a machine.

Aunt Kay’s black, piercing eyes found me and she reached up to remove the oxygen mask. The nurse stopped her hand. “Leave it.”

Aunt Kay looked like she wanted to argue.

“Leave it.” I put my hand on her shoulder. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” She closed her eyes.

The machines hummed on and the nurse left. Aunt Kay’s eyes opened and the mask came down again. “I want you to . . .”

The machinery changed tempo.

“Shush,” I put her oxygen mask back over her face and held her hand. I tried to pull my hand out of hers to get a chair, but she grabbed on tight and wouldn’t release me. I hooked my right foot around the leg of the chair and dragged it closer so I could sit down. I held her hand and the machines beeped on.

When I left the hospital it had rained and stepping outside was like walking into a sauna. Steam rose from the pavement, the smell of it filling my nose and mixing with the odor of tar and dust. The drought might have lessened but the heat hadn’t let up.

I called Clay and told him about Aunt Kay. Over and over during our conversation I said, “I’m fine.” Why do we always say that? Just once I’d like to say, “I’m a walking basket case.” Truthfully, I’m probably not a very good judge of my emotional state since I’ve spent so much of my life lying about it.

“We need to talk,” Clay said.

“Not now.” I’d had all the bad news I could handle for one day. “I can’t think.”

“Okay, just so you know it’s coming.”

Clay called Tully and he was at Brian’s waiting for me when I got there. Tully was convinced I shouldn’t be alone so he’d come to Brian’s to check on me. Tully Jenkins, the beer-swigging, dangerloving man in the role of caregiver was an outlandish thought. I even thought Clay was crazy to leave Tully to look after the animals on the ranch. Perhaps Tully had changed, even if my view of him hadn’t. He’d had a long adolescence, but perhaps maturity had finally found him. Not once in the last year had he disappeared without telling anyone where he was going and the all-night poker games seemed to be a thing of the past. Even his drinking was well within the world of normal.

Tully stared at me intently and then held out his hand. “Give me that phone thing.”

I handed my cell over to him. “Why don’t you just get one of your own?”

He held my cell at the end of his arm and squinted at it. “Don’t need one.”

“Only because you use everyone else’s.” He leaned his head back and tried to lengthen his arm.

I retrieved my phone. “What number do you want?” He told me. I dialed it and then handed it to him.

“Hi Bernice,” he said. I left the room.

CHAPTER 41

Brian was already cooking dinner. I dipped a spoon into the pot of chili he was stirring. His face was beet red and sweat glued his shirt to his back. “What do you think? It’s got chocolate in it.”

“Best chili I ever tasted.” I went to the cupboard and got down the bowls as Tully stuck his head in the door and said, “This thing is buzzing.” He handed me my cell.

I left the kitchen, taking the bowls with me into the dining room, so I could talk to Marley in private.

I told her about Aunt Kay and then I said, “There’s something else.”

“What’s that?”

“Clay may have taken up with Laura again. He says we have to talk.”

Dead silence. “Marley?”

“It can’t be.”

“Never bet against the stupidity of men.”

“You only say that because of Jimmy. Jimmy would shag an alligator given half a chance. Clay is not Jimmy.”

I set the bowls on table mats. “Laura’s up in Cedar Key with Clay right now.”

“How do you know?”

I told her. “Clay has a good reason for Laura being in Cedar Key with him but I hear Miss Emma in my head saying, ‘I ain’t got no use for lame excuses.’” Miss Emma ran the Sunset when I first came back to Jac and every time someone was late or screwed up she’d say, “I ain’t got no use for lame excuses. What I needs is bums in chairs and your feet on the ground running.”

“You love Clay, don’t you?” Marley asked. “Yeah,” I said and then I added, “but not like Jimmy.”

“Thank god for that. No one should go insane twice. Clay’s a great guy.”

“And it’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Another good thing. So fight for him.”

“I may not get the chance.”

“Want me to come into town?”

“Can you stop bad things from happening?”

“Nope.”

“See, what I need is a superhero. Or maybe a magic potion.”

“I haven’t got one of those either.”

“Well then, you don’t need to come to Jac.” I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Got it all under control.”

“I’ve heard that before, usually right before you do something really stupid.” There was a heartbeat of silence and then she added, “God, don’t shoot Laura, will you?”

I wanted a long soak in a tub where no one could get at me.

Every day I identified more and more with Holly. Delving into her life had left me shaken and assessing my own situation in a new light. Like her, I always have this rock-firm belief that something will shake loose, something good will happen, even when past experience proves it isn’t true. I hug my dreams close to me like a child with a stuffed animal, unwilling to give up on them like any sensible person would. If you give up on your dreams, what do you have left?

Just as I climbed into the tub my cell rang. I picked it up off the floor and checked. Marley was calling me back before the wave had ebbed on my descent into the water. I considered not answering but that would only piss her off. She doesn’t like being ignored. “Yeah,” I said.

“Start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

“You already know everything.”

“Pretend I don’t. Make believe I’m slow and not the sharp woman I really am. Start with Aunt Kay showing up.”

I started at the beginning. When I came to the part where Laura was up in Cedar Key and Clay had something to tell me but I didn’t know what it was she said, “Shit.” And then again, “Shit. This can’t be happening.”

“My sentiments exactly.”

“Oh shit, Sherri. He wouldn’t do that, would he?”

“He tells me Laura Kemp is there to decorate the model suites so he can sell them.”

“Call him and tell him to get down here. You can’t wait until he decides to tell you what’s happening.”

I used my toe to turn on the hot water. “Trust me, I can wait.”

“Don’t you want to know the truth?”

“In my opinion, truth is not necessary for a comfortable life. I’ve never been real fond of reality, and I have enough imagination to keep it at bay.”

“Then call and tell him you’re worried. You can at least do that, can’t you?”

“Do you realize how much of my life takes place on a telephone?” I turned off the hot water. “Sometimes I just want to talk to him face to face, especially when it’s something important. I’m not gonna call.”

“Then just tell him you need him to get his ass back here. Tell him about Ryan. That’ll get his attention.”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Because he already thinks I’m crazy.”

“Well, so do I!”

“Not like Clay does. He hasn’t come out and said it but he thinks I’m imagining things, thinks I need medical help. The only thing standing between me and some heavy therapy is my inability to pay.”

“So you’re just going to sit there and do nothing?”

“Seems like it.”

“Honest to god, sometimes I think you’ve turned stupidity into an art form.”

I sank down in the tub, letting the water lap up to my chin and listened to her lecture.

When she ran out of breath, I said, “And there’s another thing I haven’t told you about my week.”

“No kidding? Better than this? I can’t wait to hear it. What?”

I heard a voice from beyond the bathroom door. I sat up in the tub so fast a wave of water washed over the side. Marley started to ask a question but I went, “Shhh.”

And there it came again, the voice I so didn’t want ever to hear again.

CHAPTER 42

“Is that Bernice?” Marley whispered.

The horror I felt was reflected in Marley’s voice, like I’d left the bathroom door open and Ted Bundy had snuck in.

Marley hissed, “What’s she doing there?”

“Ah, that’s the other thing I meant to tell you.”

“What?”

“Bernice and Tully are having an affair.”

A startled shriek came out of the phone followed by the oddest noises, like Marley was having some kind of a fit.

“I’m so glad you’re enjoying this.” I opened the drain. “If I got hit by a bus, I suppose you’d get a good laugh out of that too.”

She couldn’t answer.

I stood up and reached for a towel. “Now I’m going out there and I’m going to pour myself a really big glass of wine. Not even Tully can expect me to face that bitch sober.”

The new Tully was convinced I was in shock and thought alcohol would be a bad idea. The old Tully would have raced me to the bottle.

God, it was awful. Bernice trying to be sympathetic and kind and all the time her eyes were on Tully, anxious and hanging on to his every word, watching him to see how all of this was going to play out for them. She was threatened.

I’d never seen a sign of weakness in her before. Not once, through Jimmy’s drug use and scrapes with the law, or even his death. Bernice’s strength came from her anger, holding it aloft like a torch to guide her, always finding someone else to blame for whatever trouble descended on them. Now this Amazon of a woman was quivering at the thought of losing my old man.

The truth jolted me. I felt a brief flame of power until I realized how ridiculous that made me, wanting to destroy my dad’s happiness to get some kind of revenge on Bernice.

I wrapped Brian’s terrycloth housecoat tighter around me and snugged up the belt. “Look, Tully, I’m in for the night. Actually I’m going off to bed early. Why don’t you and Bernice take off?”

Tully’s face was screwed up in concern. He was probably asking himself what a responsible adult would do in this situation.

I went to him and sat on the arm of his chair, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. “Thank you for being there for me, Dad, but you have to stop worrying now.” I looked down into his face. “Take Bernice and go home.”

“Are you sure?” He didn’t quite believe I wasn’t about to fall apart. It was like me not wanting to leave Aunt Kay, afraid if I stepped out of the hospital to make a call, something awful would happen.

I glanced at Bernice. Her face was lit up like Christmas and she was already halfway to her feet.

“I’m sure,” I said.

I nodded to her and hugged Tully. “We’ll talk in the morning.” When the door closed behind them, Brian said, “Well, that wassure disappointing. I thought the two of you would give a better show than that.” And then he added, “Bernice was pretty happy to have Tully to herself, wasn’t she?”

“Yup.”

“She didn’t like Tully rushing to your side, did she?”

“Nope.” I headed for the kitchen and another glass of wine. Brian followed me. “Is it because in a cat fight over Tully sheknows she’d lose?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m too tired for a brawl or to even think about fighting.”

Brian shook his head sadly. “Those are words I never thought I’d hear you say.”

CHAPTER 43

The next morning Tully called while I was in Brian’s kitchen pouring my first coffee. He seemed to think Bernice and I had turned a corner and were on the verge of being best friends. I was struck by an incredible vision of the future. “You don’t expect me to be spending family time with her, do you . . . like sitting across the table from her at Thanksgiving dinner?”

“I’ll get back to you on that,” he said.

I didn’t tell him in how many ways that wasn’t going to happen. But Tully was wise enough to change the subject. “You think they’ll let Kay out today?”

“God, I hope not. She’s depressed, doesn’t seem to have any reason to live.”

“Then give her one.”

I didn’t waste my breath asking how to do that because I already knew what Aunt Kay needed.

I went into Brian’s office and found a magnifying glass, a cute little thing with a light, and examined the print from behind the fridge. The woman’s face was still hidden by her hair but that didn’t matter. It was her sleeve I was interested in. I could only read a bit.

It said “Gor . . .” before the cloth folded. This was followed by the word “Studio.”

Then I had it. I knew where Angel was. Ashley Gordon and I played volleyball together in high school and stayed friends. Josh and Ashley were going through in vitro fertilization while Holly was working at the Sunset. Holly knew all about the situation, everybody did. Ashley was in the Sunset a lot back then, drinking orange juice in case she might be pregnant, and hanging out because she and Josh were getting on each other’s nerves. The in vitro had failed but Ashley still wanted a baby.

Ashley would be a terrific mom. Did I want to interfere in her life? If I got rid of the picture, no one would ever know where Angel was. But Josh and Ashley had to know about Holly’s illness, to know that Holly was dead. I waffled back and forth trying to decide on the right thing. If I did nothing and Angel had the virus, the consequences could be enormous.

I tried to argue myself out of it. The bottom line, though, was they had to be told Holly wasn’t coming back.

I asked Tully to drive me to the Sunset before it opened so I could do the payroll and pay the bills. He drove by twice, checking the vehicles. The only cars in the parking lot were the familiar cars of staff, doing prep work and getting ready for the day.

Tully came up the stairs with me and I pretended I didn’t know what he was hiding under the cowboy shirt he had pulled out of his jeans. No way was I going to get picky about Tully carrying a concealed weapon with Ryan on the loose.

I checked invoices, including a wine bill I was sure had to be wrong but which I had a strong suspicion was accounted for by my own drinking habits. I finished what was necessary in the way of bookwork to keep things functioning, shuffling bills around and lying to a few people about when their checks would arrive. Then I talked menus with Miguel over coffee and muffins. When the door closed behind him my cell rang.

I picked it up and checked the name.

“Hey, babe,” Clay said.

That’s all it took for me to know what was coming. “Tell me,” I said.

“Don’t rush it.”

“Screw the foreplay, Adams, and tell me.” He laughed, crazy, mad and delighted.

“I’ve got an offer—more than that, a signed contract, and there’s even enough left on the table for us to have a new start.”

“Oh god. Is it really done?”

“I’ve got their names on the dotted line and a check in my pocket. I’m almost on my way home.”

“Well, you hurry on down here so we can start celebrating.”

“Aah,” he said.

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I can’t make it until later in the week. I’ve got some things to clean up. I don’t want to come home and then turn around and come back—Sunday for sure. And I’ve got a plan. I’m going to be the new tenant on the ground floor of the Sunset. I’m going to open my real estate office again. You are going to be so sick of seeing my face.” He laughed. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get there.”

“Okay, I can wait that long. But you better get here before dinner on Sunday or come wearing armor.”

“Honey, I’m already packing. There’s something else . . .” He cleared his throat. “I’m not very good at this. For now, I just want you to know that I love you more than my very breath.”

Tears pricked my eyes and my voice went husky. “I think you’re doing just fine.”