8 Class Pets + 1 Squirrel ÷ 1 Dog = Chaos (6 page)
Read 8 Class Pets + 1 Squirrel ÷ 1 Dog = Chaos Online
Authors: Vivian Vande Velde
NEWTON: | That's how we knew what to do when the squirrel, the hamsterâ |
GALILEO: | The rabbit, the ratâ |
NEWTON: | The macawâ |
GALILEO: | And the snake! Don't forget the snake! |
NEWTON: | I wasn't going to forget the snake. |
GALILEO: | They came into our room. |
NEWTON: | They said the dog was going to get loose from the box and come after them. |
GALILEO: | They said it was an emergency. |
NEWTON: | We know what to do in case of an emergency: Dialâ |
GALILEO: | Dial 911! |
NEWTON: | I was going to say that. |
GALILEO: | I said it already. You can say the next part. |
NEWTON: | But that was the exciting part. |
GALILEO: | The next part is exciting, too. |
NEWTON: | Not as. |
GALILEO: | Stop sulking. |
NEWTON: | Dial 911! |
GALILEO: | I already said that. |
NEWTON: | Now we've both said it. |
GALILEO: | Yes, Newton, now we've both said it. Only I said it first. |
NEWTON: | So they asked: “What does Dial 911 mean?” |
GALILEO: | And we showed them the telephone. |
NEWTON: | I showed them the telephone. |
GALILEO: | I showed it, too. |
NEWTON: | I showed it first. |
GALILEO: | Luckily, the hamster knows his numbers. |
NEWTON: | And the snake was able to knock the phone to where the rat could reach it. |
GALILEO: | The rat has dexterous fingers and pressed the buttons. |
NEWTON: | The macaw yelled, “Help! Help!” |
GALILEO: | The squirrel knocked some beakers on the floor, so there was the sound of breaking glass. |
NEWTON: | The rabbit screamed. |
GALILEO: | I never heard a rabbit scream before. |
NEWTON: | Somebody should mention it in a science fair report. |
GALILEO: | The emergency people came fast. |
NEWTON: | They always come fast. |
GALILEO: | By then the snake was falling asleep because he's a reptileâ |
NEWTON: | Like usâ |
GALILEO: | And he needed to go back to his vivarium with the heat lamp. |
NEWTON: | We like our heat lamp. |
GALILEO: | And the turtle likes hers. She kept saying, “Wait for me, guys.” She didn't catch up tillâ |
NEWTON: | The principal came. |
GALILEO: | His face was almost as red and splotchy as the snake's belly. |
NEWTON: | That means he was mad. |
GALILEO: | I was |
NEWTON: | It took a long time to round up all the animals. |
GALILEO: | Except for us, because we were still here. |
NEWTON: | And the fish were still in their tank, even though their tank was in the wrong room. |
GALILEO: | And the turtle wasn't hard to catch. |
NEWTON: | Neither was the snake, asleep on our floor. |
GALILEO: | The squirrel ran outside during the confusion. |
NEWTON: | So all that leaves is the dog. |
GALILEO: | Do you know the scientific name for dog? |
NEWTON: | Of course I do. It'sâ |
GALILEO: | Family Canidae, genus Canis. |
NEWTON: | You always like to get the last word in, Galileo. |
GALILEO: | No, I don't. |
NEWTON: | Yes, you do. |
GALILEO: | Do not. |
NEWTON: | Do. |
GALILEO: | Not always. |
(the principal's dog)
Master lives right next door to the school he owns, so I get to see him a lot. Sometimes he brings me to meet the children there. This would be a perfect place to liveâexcept for that nasty squirrel Twitch.
Twitch acts like he owns the yard.
He eats the seeds Master puts out for the birds.
He jumps from tree to tree just out of reach and calls down to me that people like squirrels better than they like dogs. He says that's why Master ties me to a long rope leash when I'm in the yard. He says that's why Master puts me on a short chain leash when we go for a walk.
“No leash for me, nuh-uh,” Twitch brags.
He runs back and forth just beyond where the leash stretches to. He says, “Ha-ha! Your master doesn't make me wear a collar and leash to keep me in one place. He must not trust you, Cuddles.”
Twitch seems to wait for me to be watching before he'll climb into the garbage can at the edge of the playground. “Oh, Cuddles!” he'll say. “There's wonderful, tasty garbage in here today! Here's a French fry! And half a baloney sandwich! And some macaroni and cheese! I can't remember: Do you like macaroni and cheese, Cuddles?”
I stand there drooling, knowing I can't cross the short distance to get into that delightful-sounding garbage can.
Sometimes the only way to avoid Twitch is to go to sleep.
That's what I was doing when Twitch ran right over my nose.
Yow! That hurt!
I just knew he did it on purpose, and I went running after him. I was so mad that I ran so fast that the rope leash broke. I kept on running, pulling that long rope with me.
An owl was chasing Twitch, too. I don't know what Twitch did to get
her
mad. But I saw Twitch was heading for the school. The man who works for Master cleaning and repairing the building had hung a big banner over the door that said
WELCOME
because Master had invited special guests to come the next day. The man had left the door open while he was putting his ladder back in his truck.
“Don't you
dare
go into Master's school,” I shouted at Twitch.
Guess what.
He ignored me.
In he went, as though he owned the placeâjust the way he acts as though he owns the yard.
The owl knew school was off-limits. “He's all yours,” she said, winging away.
I was in the right. But the trouble was, all the pets took Twitch's side.
From room to room I went, chasing Twitch. A few things got knocked down or spilled or brokenâbut it was all Twitch's fault.
Those pets all worked togetherâeven animals that
shouldn't
work together.
Finally, they knocked a big box on top of me. It was dark in there. I wasn't sure if that snake had been trapped inside with me or not, because the pine shavings kind of smelled like him. He didn't look like the kind of snake who bites, but you can't trust snakes. I hunkered down and sat quiet.
I could hear the pets laughing out in the hall and having a good time together. It was like a party!
The squirrel was telling jokesâmostly to do with me.
And the hamster and the parrot were telling everyone about how their names came from books, and they were all acting like that was a big deal.
And the rabbit was saying they needed to get out and get together more oftenâand they had to figure out a way for the squirrel to join them, too! And she asked the rat if he could open all the cages again the next day.
And the rat said yes, in between carrying on about something or other to do with Cinderella.
And the turtle said they could all work on an art project together.
And the geckos were saying they knew how to make a working volcano, and did anyone want to see?