99 Palms: Horn OK Please (22 page)

The Cave:

“Go!” said the cop behind me as he prodded me with a trident. I turned around and glared at him. I saw that he had tucked up the keys to his jet-car on his skirt. Jeez, he could have done with some evolution here!

“Hey! Watch it!” yelled Hound at the soldier poked him in the rear with his trident. 

There were seven steps leading to the cave, the mouth of it reminded me of the skull-cave from Phantom comics. I worried about the stale breath inside then. We scaled the seven steps and entered the cave. The guards waited outside. It was evident that they were not used to crime fighting for there would not be any crime in Shambala. We were probably one of the few intruders in paradise who’d made it this far.

The cave was massive. It was similar to being inside the underground Stupa. There were fourteen Major Rock Edicts placed all around. They had all the teachings of Emperor Ashoka. The rocks glowed an eerie green, the illumination was similar to the underground tunnel that led us to the underground cave.

I couldn’t see the roof of the cave for it seemed endless. The width of the cave was not fathomable for there were massive bookracks all around.

“Dude, this is exactly what I see in my stupid dream all the time, I suppose we know what’s going to happen next!” said Derek, excitedly as he looked around the bookshelves.

“Surely, this would be the world’s largest book store or circulating library”, I said, unable to control my wonder, “The secret books of the Nine Unknown, the knowledge of all the dark sciences through centuries! All handwritten!”

“Give me the ancient scriptures of 99 Palms, bro. We’re soon going to need it”, whispered Goose to Derek who promptly fished out the box containing 99 Palms. Goose took out the neatly bound book and kept the box aside.

The sound of gushing water filled the room. There was a stream that seemed to be running through the walls, right above us.

There was a big fireplace close to where we stood. The flames seemed to dance wildly as we inched near.

“Look around for the gateways, folks, the sound of the gushing stream above us would mean that the river that we came in from flows into this cave from underground. I’m sure the Nine Unknown would be having their private gateways in here!” said Hound, as he explored the cave.

“Don’t get lost, bro, stay right here!” I said as flame torches lit up all around us. Fourteen flame torches, each one attached to the Major Rock Edict kept in the center of the cave.

I went about looking, touching, feeling and smelling the books, manuscripts and scrolls kept on the bookracks. Yes, this was paradise. This cave contained all the knowledge in the nine fields of science that the Nine Unknown seemed to have kept hidden from the world for the right reasons. I still couldn’t place a finger on whether the Nine Unknown were benevolent or malevolent. Were they good, wise, evolved beings or were they victims of their own evolution?

“You will soon come to know. This message is for all of you as I speak, keep your calm at all times if you must succeed!” spoke Lind softly inside our heads. I hated the fact that I couldn’t talk back!

My blood froze the moment a damp hand touched my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was. It was Emperor Ashoka! He was in his royal regalia, just the way I visualized him in my dream. I could see the pain, the remorse and the frustration on his face as tears of blood streamed down his face. He looked at me and showed me his palms covered with blood.

I couldn’t utter a word as Goose, Hound and Derek stood around me, watching.

“Don’t move, Chief! This is just an illusion!” yelled Hound. I knew it would be one of our angels who would have spoken inside his head. Illusion or not, this stuff was so darn real. If this was a hologram, what explains the touch? How did I feel the touch of Emperor Ashoka?

I stood rooted to the ground, staring at Emperor Ashoka as he looked at me as though expecting me to understand him. Watching him or the illusion seemed so real. It was as though we were meant to watch the pain of his transformation from an evil megalomaniac to the most noble emperor on earth. I saw shades of emotions pass by his face like the colors of a rainbow. He had shown me a range of emotions that he had to let go before attaining
Nirvana.

My friends watched in shock and awe as the Emperor pointed to the books all around us as a voice inside my head spoke, “Look, my child! You have made a terrible mistake! Look what you’ve done. You’ve let your greed get the better of you and you have come here to steal. Look around you, these books? These are the books of dark sciences that made me kill thousands and I have the blood on my hands.”

I stared at the clay tablet that was pinned to his chest armor. It was right out of our dream!

“You, my child, are just like me before I attained enlightenment. Greed? Why don’t you give it up? Seek the path of salvation I have shown you with my edicts. Don’t you know about Kalinga? Yet you come to steel with darkness in your heart? Why? You seek unlimited fame and wealth? You seek the Philosopher’s Stone, the Chinta mani? Why?” I tried to block out the voice from inside my head but I failed. Even Lind and the rest of them seemed to have been blacked out now.

“Look at all my efforts in making the world a better place. My Nine Unknown hold secrets to be used only by the evolved. Why don’t you leave behind your idea of stealth?” Still showing me his palms covered with blood, he suddenly grew old in front me and crumbled to the ground. We all stared at the ground to see the pieces of the broken clay tablet on the floor of the cave.

“That tablet! There is one piece missing”, said Hound as he knelt down and took out the broken piece of clay from his pocket. The piece he had found in Kalinga. We watched Hound as he put together all the pieces and fitted his piece at the end. The jigsaw puzzle was complete.

“The shape of the broken piece of clay I found in Kalinga is the missing piece. I had a slight inkling about it and now I know. He was truly a great Emperor”, said Hound in a tone of reverence and he left the piece there.

“Look out! There come the apparitions!” yelled Derek as we whirled around to see nine shadows coming towards us.

“Move towards the fireplace!” yelled Goose as he held the ancient scriptures of 99 Palms in his hands as the apparitions moved closer towards us. The fireplace was right behind us as the nine apparitions came closer. They seemed like very large human brains inside a bubble that had arms and legs. There were nine of them - The Nine Unknown! They’d evolved beyond recognition in pursuit of pure science.  They’d evolved beyond form to become brains that could take any form they chose to, anytime.

The Philosopher’s Stone:

“Give us the Philosopher’s Stone now and we’ll go away! Come closer and we’ll whack the shit out of you”, screamed Hound, pointing his empty flare gun at them.

“Come closer and I’ll throw these 99 Palms into the fire!” said Goose, as he held out the ancient scriptures close to the fire.

“You come with greed and malice in your heart. You are impure. We are not going to harm you. You are here because we summoned you, you don’t know that” said nine voices inside my head. They were speaking to all of us together.

“The Philosopher’s Stone, dammit! give it to us and we’ll be gone” shouted Hound, trying to look his menacing best, “You’ve got no right to judge us!”

“You have earned your Philosopher’s Stone. Look inside your pockets. Each one of you has one. You have shown promise. The Great Emperor has told you through his edicts that your world is not ready for the sciences. Go on, learn it the hard way”, said the nine voices.

I searched my pocket and fished out a pearl. I saw the others were equally surprised by their new possession.

“The Great Emperor has instructed us to show compassion on you. We are not like you in anyway. Throw the 99 Palms into the fire for you are not ready yet. You show promise. We wish you well, always and forever”, said the nine voices, “You shall know the truth upon your return to earth.”

What did they mean by this? Were we played all along?

We eased, we were not afraid anymore. We felt remorse. Speechless, I watched, a miserable worm.

Goose threw the 99 Palms into the fire and watched it burn. Hound walked to the place where the pieces of the broken clay tablet lay. The Nine Unknown made way for him to walk through. We watched Hound as he fitted his broken piece of clay at the end and stared at it for sometime, praying.

“We’re happy you show promise. The Great Emperor’s suffering has not been in vain. We shall deliver you home safe”, said the voices.

“Now come, our children, let us lock you in our embrace. You have nothing to fear!” said the voices.

They came closer and zeroes in on us. I saw a flash of light and then darkness all around. Locked in an embrace of pure consciousness, we become one and I let out a silent scream of pain. No words come out of my mouth…for the pain was not physical.

It was the pain of Emperor Ashoka.

The return:

It was pitch dark. I looked at my watch. It was 4:00 AM.
Buddha Purnima
was over. It had been exactly 24 hours.

I was at the parking lot of Dhamek Stupa. I saw Goose, Derek and Hound slowly getting up. I checked my pocket. The ‘Philosopher’s Stone’ was there. Others had it too.

There was not a soul around. Still in our wetsuits, without changing into tees and shorts, I got behind the wheel and brought Motormouth to life and drove straight to the resort.

“We pulled it off!!” Goose said as he clenched his fist.

“Hell Yeah!” I yelled at the top of my voice, joined by the others.

***
 

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

***

Roses are red and violets are blue,

There’s nothing better than today, if only everybody knew;

We’ve been to Shambala & back, we’ve seen Paradise, I say,

It’s my way and the highway!

Back in the shack with family jewels intact, love the sunshine,

We’re face to face with Venusians, the new Unknown Nine;

Unlimited wealth is for us to keep, health comes along,

For anyone who’s been to Paradise, life is just a new song;

Wisdom eludes us, there’s no way we can evolve,

That’s alright, around highways our lives revolve;

It came as a jolt, the new lineup of the Nine,

A brave new world, they helped us out just fine;

The manuscripts of 99 Palms have been put to rest at last,

The broken piece of clay tablet has been returned to the past;

We have the power to create gold, as much as we need,

Let’s see what we do, the fakir’s warning, should we heed?

Stay cool, make the world a better place, be a Dude,

Respect and love women forever, show some gratitude;

They’ve taken over as the Nine Unknown women,

We are sure they’ll do a lot better than men;

Stirred with passion, steamed with love,

Laced with lust, served with a smile,

If smiles and imagination make your heart say ‘Cheese!’,

Drive on, for that’s the spirit of ‘Horn OK Please’…

***

***

The Welcome:

It had all been so unreal that the feeling of the accomplishment was yet to set in. Goose fumbled with the keys of the room and opened it.

“SURPRISE!!” the loud cheer in the room made me jump out of my skin. We were shocked to see the lights come on inside the room. Natalie, Monica, Geri, Uzki, Wei, Lind, Preity, Rhea and Tia had invaded our room, decorated it with balloons and confetti as a cake and a few bottles of champagne awaited us.

“Welcome back to reality!” said Natalie as she hugged us. “So you have succeeded!”

“How on earth do you know it?” I thundered, unable to hide my irritation, “Just who are you people?”

“About time you came clean, ladies”, said Goose, trying to look his serious best, “Why did you really help us? The champagne can wait!”

Hound and Derek stood silent, grinning from ear to ear, savoring the bevy of these beauties that crammed the room. Strong coffee was brewing, for sure.

The Reason:

“OK, calm down, Chief!” said Lind, coming uncomfortably close to me as she held the bottle of champagne suggestively.

“Yes, all of you sit down please, let us explain and then we can start the celebrations”, said Monica, grabbing Goose by his arm as she forced him to sit on the bed.

“We are all connected, all nine of us. We are the new face of the Nine Unknown on earth. This was all but a challenge. With the changing times, the secret society of the Nine Unknown on earth was becoming extremely corrupt. We felt it was terribly unjust to have a sexist society only comprising men”, said Monica softly, not wanting to ruffle any feathers.

“The Nine Unknown initially refused the very idea to have the secret society on earth led by women from all around the world. We pushed them hard till they gave us a challenge”, said Rhea gleefully, the twinkle in her eyes showed.

We kept quiet.

“The challenge was to measure the preparedness of mankind to show that man had evolved and would best function with the help and guidance of women. We had to get over sexist notions. So we told them that we would pick out the dumbest men on earth, no offence, and with our help, they would have the power to change the world. Women power!” said Tia, not wanting to be left behind.

Derek stared at her lustily till Geri pinched him back to reality. Derek yelped in pain.

“We took it upon us as a challenge to use your greed, make your dream of unlimited wealth come true and then wait and watch what you do with it. That’s what lies ahead of you now. That’s the second part of the challenge. We believe that you will evolve. I know, for I’ve explored your mind…” said Preity, smiling like an angel. She reminded me of the woman petting the unicorn in Shambala.

“But why an all-woman outfit? You’ve had an overdose of those
Power-Puff girls
on cartoon network?” said Hound, pleased with himself for having lightened the atmosphere.

“Under our leadership, you cracked codes and solved puzzles. A man and a woman are two sides of the same coin. We cannot do without each other. We ourselves didn’t know how all the pieces fit together and you fared stupendously well. We told the Nine Unknown that even people like you can unlock the secrets to find their way to Shambala and hence we needed to change the working model of the secret society inside out. That’s why the all-women outfit!” said Wei, nodding her head.

Hound took Uzki’s hand, tried to put on his most sympathetic face and said, “But why put us through so much pain, love?”

“In return, the Nine Unknown promised us that you shall not be harmed. Being away from the surface of the earth, the world has changed much in the past few 1000s of years. They were utterly clueless about it. But they showed their readiness to change. They allowed us to go our way and therefore you were summoned to Shambala with a recurring vision. Your greed drove you to the center of the earth to get the ‘Philosopher’s Stone’. You have no reason to whine for you have been adequately compensated for putting your neck on the chopping block!” replied Uzki, hugging Hound tight.

“Yes, we won the bet, and so the power to create the secret society on earth. We are an international society of women now. You know us!” said Natalie, beaming with pride.

“You mean you ladies never knew each other before?” said Goose, looking around the room.

“We knew, but we were colleagues, not friends. There’s a huge difference, right? You put the pieces together and brought the nine of us together. We would never have known each other had you not come into our lives. We shall carry the legacy of the secrets from now on!” said Rhea, raising an empty glass.

“You mean to say that you folks were never fully aware of what the ancient scriptures of 99 Palms contained?” I said, unable to digest the fact that we had been instrumental in creating a deep bond of pure friendship among these powerful nine women.

“No, we didn’t know what the ancient scriptures of 99 Palms contained. Not all of us even knew about its existence! We didn’t know the secrets of the Great Sanchi Stupa and Temple number 45, you helped us come together and crack it. We didn’t know about the source of the mysterious ‘X factor’, you’ve seen the source. We didn’t know that coordinates for the gateways to Shambala existed under the Dhamek Stupa, you helped us crack it! Chirality and Swastikas, you name it, you helped us win this challenge!” said Lind, kissing me softly on my cheek.

The Secret Society of Nine Unknown women:

“We are now the Nine Unknown women. Times have changed. Yes, we communicate with the Nine Unknown regularly. We shall bring peace on earth. And we need the help of you guys!” exclaimed Tia, pointing at us, just to make us feel better.

The mood in the room was vibrant as the answers put us at ease.

“No sexism. This is all about work and life. Yin and Yang. Truth and Lies. Man is the chiral image of a woman. We have learnt much ourselves. You agree?” said Natalie, expecting a nod.

“Yes, we do. But we have to go on a little, secret mission ourselves”, I said, looking at the morons. They grinned from ear to ear. This was something that was discussed on our way back from the Dhamek Stupa to the resort just a little while ago.

“What next? Another challenge?” exclaimed Lind.

“Yes. But that shall be our journey to self-discovery. It’s not about global peace. It’s about bro-code. The bond between four friends. You shall know all about it once we all go our separate ways”, said Goose wisely, as he puffed up his chest.

“You’ve found the lost city of gold, you found the lost world of Shambala! So, when do you start making gold? What are you going to do with your unlimited wealth? Why another immediate, self-imposed challenge?” exclaimed Uzki, looking at Hound.

“Keep guessing, O’ powerful Nine Unknown women of earth!” we said in unison.

“OK. Noted. The Nine Unknown helped us bring together the power of women, at least unknown to each other. We were just individual experts in our respective fields. This challenge brought us all together and you made brilliant guinea pigs. We respect you for that”, said Priety, getting impatient that the celebrations had not yet begun, “Now, can we open the bottle of champagne please?”

Derek popped open the bottle as the champagne spilled on the floor as everyone let out a whoop and clapped.

The champagne flowed, it was time for celebrations. It was an evening to remember for we all had many cups of coffee. Stirred with passion, steamed with love, laced with lust and garnished with a smile. On the road, no sugar, no milk. Horn OK Please…