A Baby by Easter (13 page)

“Feeling better?” he asked as they laid the table.

“Much.” She blushed when he held out her chair for her and quickly sat. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” He couldn't resist touching the swath of golden curls that cascaded down her back.

“These are for you, from us.” Darla held out the bouquet with pride.

“Oh. Thank you.” Susannah glanced at him, startled. Then she accepted the flowers and buried her nose in the fragrant petals. “They're beautiful.”

David could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes, but when she looked at the girls, she'd blinked them away and was smiling. He got a vase, filled it with water and set it in the middle of the table so she could enjoy her bouquet.

“Only two months till Easter,” he said, holding up his water glass to toast her. “Not long to go now.”

“That's easy for you to say. I have a quite different perspective.” She peeked through her eyelashes, grinning.

And David lost his breath. She actually sounded happy about the future.

“I'm starving,” Darla said.

“Me, two,” Susannah agreed and winked at Silver.

“Me, three.” Silver giggled.

They all looked at him with expectant eyes.

“Me, four?” Susannah burst into laughter.

“Say grace, Davy.”

David offered a quick prayer of thanks then served everyone, enjoying the pleasure of making sure each had enough to eat. It had been a long time since a meal around this kitchen table had been so happy and he knew it had everything to do with Susannah's presence. He couldn't stop staring at her.

David felt compelled to study Susannah's radiant face as the girls teased her about her appetite. This afternoon
Wade and Jared had helped David realize that he wanted this woman and her child in his life permanently. His friends had insisted there was no reason why David couldn't care for Susannah, that cutting love out of his life had never been something God had told him. Repeatedly they'd asked him to show a Biblical foundation for his belief that love was wrong for him. Wade had even said he thought David had made himself believe that after being thrown over twice.

But were they right?

And how risky was it to love her?

Susannah wasn't like David's former fiancées. He didn't have to wonder if she'd walk out because he worked too long, or because of something Darla did. Susannah knew what his life was like, knew he was committed to his sister. She was committed, too.

But could she love him?

“You're not eating,” she said, frowning at him. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” He felt the worries, the cares, the heavy thoughts go as he returned her smile. “Nothing is wrong at all.”

Life seemed so simple, so enjoyable when Susannah was there.

“I'll help clean up,” she offered when the food had disappeared.

“There isn't much to clean up.” David chuckled at the one lonely chicken ball rolling in sauce. “I can load everything into the dishwasher. You go and rest.”

“I did rest,” she told him, a glimmer of spirit flickering in her gorgeous eyes. “And I'm fine. Perfectly able to clean up a few dishes. So don't argue,” she added when he opened his mouth.

“Okay. You can help a little,” he agreed, pretending he'd made the decision.

David enjoyed the camaraderie of working beside Susannah. He made a big fuss about giving her plenty of room for the sheer pleasure of watching her blush.

He drove back to Connie and Wade's enjoying the sound of laughter and happy voices. Darla raced out of the car and up the walk with Silver, leaving him and Susannah alone in the car.

“It was nice to have someone to share our table with,” he said. “I'd forgotten how long it's been since Darla and I entertained.”

“I hope you don't feel you have to entertain me,” Susannah said, frowning at him. “I'm just the help.”

“Susannah, you must know you mean a lot more than that to us,” he said meaningfully. He held her gaze until she looked away.

“Thank you for these,” she said, burying her nose in her flowers. “I've never had—well, thank you.”

“You're welcome.” David climbed out and went to open her car door. “What time will Darla be working at the butterfly exhibit tomorrow?”

“You're going to come?” She didn't look exactly thrilled at the prospect.

“I'll try to get there,” he said. “I want to see how she does. Is that a problem?”

Susannah drew in a breath and stared past his shoulder. She wore a pained look that made him wonder if he'd said something wrong.

“Susannah? Are you all right?”

Finally she exhaled and nodded. “Yes.”

“Did something just happen?” he asked as a wave of concern rushed over him. He grasped her elbow in case she felt faint or something. “You don't look pale.”

She slid her arm out of his touch and smiled. “I can't get used to the soccer game going on inside me, that's all.”

She let him escort her to the door before she hugged Darla and waved at him. “See you tomorrow.” She inclined her head at Darla. “She'll be helping after school till five o'clock.”

“Oh. Yes. Okay.” David scanned her face once more. “You're sure you're all right?”

“I'm fine. Good night.” She stood in the doorway, waiting for them to leave.

“Good night.” He helped Darla into the car, and they drove away. Susannah remained in the doorway, her focus on the picture she clutched in her hands, the picture of her baby.

A wash of yearning swamped him. All down the block families were heading inside their homes, gathering their loved ones around them. David wanted to be able to do the same thing with Susannah. To protect her, to share her life, to have the right to help her with her child, and not just be an outsider.

He wanted to be able to kiss her good-night and wake up to her smiling face, to share his hopes and dreams with her, to discuss Darla and seek her opinion. He wanted Susannah to help him build a family.

God, please give me the sense to wait for the right time and find the words to tell her how much she means to me.

“I love Susannah, Davy,” Darla said, yawning as she followed him inside their dark and silent home. “She makes everything happy.”

“She sure does.”

Darla stopped at the bottom of the stairs and frowned at him.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“Susannah might come and stay with us forever if you kissed her like Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty,” she said. “Couldn't you kiss her, Davy?”

“We'll see,” he said as he struggled to keep a straight face. “Have a good sleep, sweetie.”

“Yeah.” She hugged him, started up the stairs, then paused. “Davy?”

“Yes?” He waited, knowing something important was coming.

“Are you sure we couldn't adopt Susannah's baby?” Sadness drained the joy from her face. “I don't want that baby or Susannah to go away. I love them both.”

“I know.” David embraced her and tried to soothe her, but he couldn't tell her everything would be okay. Because he wasn't sure it would be—not for Susannah once she let her child go, and not for him if he let Susannah go.

“What can we do, Davy?”

“Pray,” was the only answer he could think of.

 

Darla was doing an amazing job explaining the butterfly exhibit to the group of day-care children who were visiting the botanical garden. Susannah smiled encouragement when two older boys wandered in and began to ask Darla a hundred questions. Susannah listened but her mind was on finding somewhere to sit. She was so tired and the little butterfly gazebo was so hot.

Loud voices drew her attention.

Darla was supposed to inspect and brush off each person to ensure no butterflies hid in their clothes and escaped the enclosure. But the boys would not let her do it. In fact, they taunted her. Susannah stepped forward to intervene, but at that moment one of the boys jerked back
and knocked her off balance. She reached out, desperate to grab on to a metal fountain to stop her fall.

Next thing she was lying on the ground, winded and dazed, and Darla stood over her, berating the boys.

“You hurt Susannah,” she bellowed, her anger flaring. “Get out.” She pointed to the door. As soon as they'd pushed their way through the hanging plastic panels in the exhibit, she knelt beside Susannah and searched her face. “You have a cut,” she whispered fearfully, pointing to a mark on Susannah's arm.

“I'm okay, I think. Can you help me up?”

“Yes.” Darla almost lifted her to her feet. Thankfully the enclosure was empty.

Susannah felt woozy and worried. Darla insisted she leave the exhibit and sit down on a bench outside. Once Susannah was seated she took her phone and dialed.

“Darla, no,” Susannah protested, but it was too late.

“You said you'd come, Davy. Where are you?” Darla was angry, her brown eyes intense. “Some boys pushed Susannah and she fell down. She has a cut.”

Susannah heard David's low voice assuring her he was on his way. She'd fallen so awkwardly—was the baby okay? It wasn't moving. She laid one hand over her stomach protectively and tried to form a prayer for help.

“We're really sorry.” The boys had returned to apologize. “We didn't mean to bump into you.”

Susannah opened her mouth but Darla spoke first.

“You should be more careful,” Darla lectured. “A butterfly exhibit isn't a good place to fool around. And you shouldn't make fun of people, either,” she added, her face very severe.

“Yeah, we know,” the bigger one said with a sheepish grin. “You were just doing your job. Sorry, miss.”

As they left, Susannah shifted, feeling bruised and uncomfortable.

“You shouldn't have phoned him, Darla. I'll be fine. It was just a little fall.”

“At your stage, there are no little falls,” David said, striding up to them. He knelt, touching the mark on her arm before his fingers slid down to thread with hers. He squeezed them and closed his eyes. “Woman, you scared the daylights out of me.”

To her shock he gathered her in his arms and held her close.

“I'm sorry.” Susannah marveled at how right it felt to be held like this. But then she noticed how pale he was, and that his hand trembled as it smoothed back her hair. “I'm fine, David.”

“We're going to make sure of that,” he said grimly. “You have a bruise on your chin.” His jaw clenched.

“It's nothing.” She wouldn't tell him how off balance she felt.

“Shall I carry you?” David held her as if he'd never let her go.

“Of course not. I can still walk.” She touched his face, smoothed away the lines on his forehead, completely overwhelmed by his concern. “I'm really all right, David,” she whispered.

“I'd prefer to hear that from a doctor,” he growled. “Darla, tell the lady you have to leave now.”

“Okay.” She hurried away but was back in a flash. “Ready.”

“All right, you walk on one side of Susannah. I'll walk on the other,” David directed. “We'll go slowly. Okay?”

At least he waited for her nod of approval, Susannah mused. But truthfully, she was very glad of his support.
A hint of fear that she'd messed up again would not leave her.

Please don't take my baby,
she silently prayed.
Please?

Deep in her heart Susannah repeated the words Connie had been telling her ever since she'd arrived in Tucson.
God is the God of love.

G
od? Are you listening?

David waited outside the examining room, his heart in his throat.

She's so small, so delicate. That baby is all she has. Please, please don't let—

He couldn't bear to even let the thought develop as fear like he'd known only twice before burgeoned and clutched at his heart. The only time it had loosened its hold in the past half hour was when he'd had Susannah in his arms.

Where she belonged.

In that instant David made up his mind. He was going to tell Susannah that he loved her, just as Wade and Jared had advised. More than that, he was going to ask her to marry him.

“David?” Connie rushed up, laid a hand on his arm, her face worried. “Have you heard anything?”

“Not yet—” The words died on his lips as Susannah's doctor emerged from the room they'd taken her into. “Doctor?”

“You're David?” Dr. Grace Karrang smiled at him. “Susannah said you'd be hovering out here, waiting.”

So she knew he wouldn't just leave her. Good.

“How is she?” Connie asked.

“Everything seems okay. I'll keep her overnight, just to make sure. But as far as I can tell now, Susannah and her baby are fine.”

“Can I see her?” he asked.

“Yes. They'll move her to a room shortly, but you can all talk to her for a while. One at a time, though.”

“You go first, Davy.” Darla slid her hand into Connie's. “We'll wait.”

“Thanks, sis. I'll hurry,” he promised.

“It's okay, Davy.” She touched his cheek, her eyes clear. “I prayed. Susannah and her baby are going to be all right.”

“Yes.” He kissed her forehead.

Susannah looked so petite on the bed, her skin ashen against the pristine sheet. Her hair had been pushed back off her face. Her eyes were closed.

David picked up her hand and threaded his fingers in hers.

“Susannah?”

She blinked a couple of times before those incredible lashes lifted and she smiled. His Sleeping Beauty.

“Hello, David. I guess I drifted off.” Her soft, sweet voice sounded like music to him. “You're pale. Are you all right?”

“Me? I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about.” He couldn't stop brushing his thumb against her skin, reassuring himself that she was alive and well. “How are you?”

“A little tired. The doctor said I have to stay here overnight.” She frowned. “That's going to be expensive.”

“It's taken care of. Don't worry.” When she licked her lips, David poured a little water from the carafe and held it to her mouth. “Sip slowly.”

“Thank you.” She leaned back, smoothed the cover over her stomach. “I'm sorry if I worried you.”

“Of course I was worried.”

“Because I let this happen.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “You think I'll let something happen with Darla, too. You want me to quit.” She stared at him. “Is that it?”

“No!” He frowned. “I care about what happens to you, Susannah. I care a lot.”

“You do?” She stared at him in disbelief, emerald eyes wide in her pale face.

“Susannah, I'm in love with you. I have been for some time.” David waited to see how she'd react.

“In love—with me.” She peeked at him through her lashes, then hid her eyes.

What if she still loved the baby's father? The idea hadn't occurred to him before. He couldn't think about that now—he just needed to show her.

“I've known how I felt for a while.” He loved the way she let him finish his stumbling admission. “I just wasn't sure what to do about it. Until today.”

“W-what have you decided?” she whispered, worry filling her face.

“Why do you always expect the worst?” he asked with tender mirth.

“I don't. Not always,” she argued, her feistiness back.

“Susannah.” He smiled, cupping her face in his palms. “I want to marry you, Susannah. I want you to stay with Darla and me forever. I want a future with you.”

“And the baby?” she asked, fear in the shadows of her eyes. “What about my baby?”

“You'll have to learn to share because it will be our baby. Every bit as much mine and Darla's as yours,” he
said firmly, holding her gaze. “We'll raise him or her together. With love and laughter and faith in God.”

“My faith in God isn't very strong right now,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

“It'll grow. We'll both work on trusting God.”

Susannah studied him without speaking. David could see she was thinking deep and hard and he could only pray that she would at least think about his proposal.

“Susannah, you're not the only one who has made mistakes,” he admitted, loving the feel of her skin as he caressed her face. “I let failed relationships from the past influence me into thinking God didn't want me to love again. I knew I was beginning to care for you, but I assumed I was supposed to remain single, for Darla.”

“David, I—” she started, then faltered.

“You've shown me that Darla and I both need you in our lives.” He slid his arms around her, drawing her close. Then he leaned forward and touched her lips with his. To his surprise, she returned his kiss with a sweetness he'd only dared dream about.

David felt relief wash over him. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep inside, she had at least some feelings for him. He felt joy welling up inside him.

“I love you, Susannah. And so does Darla. She would love to have a sister.”

“She was like a mother bear today, protecting her cub.” She smiled reflectively and reached up to smooth his hair. “Darla is amazing. You're pretty amazing, too,” Susannah whispered shyly, brushing her fingers against his cheek. “Thank you for getting me here so quickly.”

“I love you. How could I do anything else?” he asked, content to savor the pure bliss of holding her in his arms. “Anyway, I was scared stupid. You were so pale. Still are.”

David waited but Susannah didn't respond with the words he wanted to hear. He told himself to be patient. She needed time, he reasoned. He'd sprung it on her. He kissed her quickly, then rose.

“Darla's champing at the bit to get in here. And Connie. I'll give them a turn.”

“Okay.” She let him go, her arms dropping to the bed.

“Susannah?”

“Yes?”

“Will you think about my proposal?” he asked, his heart jammed into his throat.

“I have to think it over. Marriage isn't something to be rushed into.” Her green eyes held shadows. “I did that before and I made some huge mistakes. I'm not going to make them again.”

She hadn't said yes.

But neither had she said no.

“Take all the time you need,” he said as a giant geyser of hope flowed inside his heart. “I'll be waiting.”

“Thank you.” He turned to leave but she stopped him by catching his hand. “David?”

“Yes?”

“Will you do me a favor?” Her eyes grew huge in her small face.

He wanted to say yes, but he had a hunch he wasn't going to like it. So he quirked an eyebrow upward and waited.

“Can we not tell the others?” Her eyes were turbulent like the sea during a tempestuous storm. “Not yet anyway.”

The geyser of hope inside sputtered. “Because?”

“Because I need this to be between us for now,” she
whispered. “There's another life at stake. I have to make the right decision.”

He wasted several moments studying her then nodded, squeezed her hand and left. “Your turn,” he said to an eager Darla.

Wade stood in the hallway.

“Connie went to get some coffee,” he explained. “So?”

“I asked her to marry me. She wants to think about it.” David studied his friend. “She also wants to keep my proposal quiet. For now.”

“So we'll pray. Hard.”

“Thanks.” David had laid his heart out there. What more could he do but trust that God would see him through?

While he walked on tenterhooks.

 

David loved her?

Susannah couldn't quite assimilate that knowledge and there wasn't time anyway. Darla burst through the doorway and came bounding over to the bed.

“Is the baby all right?” she whispered. “Are you?”

“We're both just fine. Thanks to you.” Susannah hugged her. “I don't know what I would have done without you there, Darla.”

“But I wasn't good,” Darla countered, her face glum. “I got mad and yelled at those guys.”

“You know, sometimes anger is a good thing,” Susannah told her, patting the side of her bed so Darla would sit near. “Sometimes we have to get angry against injustice or when somebody does something wrong so that the wrong gets corrected. You did very well and I'm proud of you.”

“Really?” Darla's huge smile lit up the room.

“Really. Thank you for protecting me. It's just the kind of thing one sister would do for another,” she said quietly. “That's how I think of you, you know. As my little sister.”

“I love you, Susannah.” Darla hugged her enthusiastically. “And I love the baby, too.” She patted her rounded stomach. “Hello, Baby.”

Susannah listened to her talking to the child in her body and marveled at the love she felt for this wonderful girl. How was it possible to feel such a bond with Darla? What strange coincidence was it that Darla had slipped into her heart and nestled right next to her unborn child?

She said as much to Connie after Darla left. Her old friend simply smiled.

“It's not coincidence, Susannah,” Connie assured her. “It's God.”

Susannah wasn't sure about that. God didn't seem quite so personal to her, though she'd been trying to breach the gap between them by reading the Bible Connie had left in her room and taking time each night to pray.

“See, that's the thing about God,” Connie said. “His love doesn't hiccup when we make mistakes or turn away from him. His love isn't like human love, Susannah. And He never, ever turns us away.”

Rick Green had said the same thing, Susannah remembered.

“God's love never changes, no matter what.” Connie shook her head. “There's a verse in the Bible that says nothing can separate us from the love of God. The verse goes on to list a whole bunch of things and then repeats that none of them, nothing can come between us and the love God has for His precious children.”

“I hear that” she admitted, “but then it sounds like there's a
but.
”

“The
but
is us, Suze.” Connie shook her head. “We forget how great the love of God is, or we think we're too bad, or that we've done something too terrible.” A serious note lowered her voice. “But the Bible says nothing can stop God's love.”

It sounded nice, Susannah thought. Comforting, if only she could believe it. But Connie had no idea about her past, about the things she'd done since she'd left the foster home. And Susannah had no intention of telling her.

“We need to move Ms. Wells to a room now. You can see her later.”

Susannah was glad for the nurse's intrusion. She wished her friend goodbye.

As they moved her to her room, she couldn't shut out that inner voice that kept offering hope. Connie's words made her wish for the impossible. But in her heart of hearts Susannah couldn't quite believe that God's love extended to her.

David claimed to love her, too. His words pinged into her brain. Was it real love he felt? How could he love someone like her?

You're pregnant with another man's child. You are so dependent on Connie and Wade you don't even have your own place. What is there to love?
But David
had
said he loved her.

And she loved him. Why deny it any longer? He'd snuck into her heart, a bit each day. She'd simply refused to let herself believe that such love could ever be returned.

For a moment, Susannah let herself bask in the knowledge of what David's love could mean. Happiness. Peace
at last. Contentment. A home for her and her baby, a husband who cared about her, loved her and would help her make the right decisions for the future. A sister to share with—something Susannah had missed for so long. She wouldn't have to be alone.

But what if she failed him? What if she did something stupid, something that embarrassed him? What if he became ashamed of her? The thought made her physically sick. She admired David so much, but could she live up to what he'd expect? Did she dare risk loving again?

The pros and cons circled her brain as Susannah struggled to envision exactly how her life would change if she said yes to David. The images were dazzling, alluring and so far beyond anything Susannah knew that she could hardly believe in a life like that. He would come this evening, however. And by then she had to have her answer ready.

Connie had said God loved her. Susannah wasn't sure that was possible. But surely He could help her.

God? Don't let me make another mistake. Please?

 

Susannah curled up in the armchair behind the curtain and inhaled the heady fragrance from the lush bouquet of crimson roses David had sent. Her fingers trailed over the words on the enclosed note.
For Susannah. With love, David.

To be loved just for yourself—how wonderful that would be. As she fingered the velvet petals, for a moment she let herself dream that she could actually live the happily ever after of Darla's beloved fairy tales.

Dare she dream?

“What does that hunky lawyer see in our white-trash girl?”

Susannah froze at the voices coming from the other bed in her room. She huddled tighter into the curtain and prayed they wouldn't see her.

“Watch it.” A nurse's aide checked Susannah's bed. “She's not there. Be careful what you say, will you? She might overhear us.”