A Beautiful Forever (9 page)

 “You want a coffee?” I ask when I spot an open café.

Paige looks ahead to where I’m indicating. “Yeah, I do
actually.”

We keep our eye out for a parking spot, finding one quickly
and walking back to the café. It’s surprisingly busy, and we have to line up
behind another four people to order.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look really
beautiful tonight,” I tell her, nudging her lightly in the arm with my elbow.

She laughs, and I prepare for the coming lecture. I know I
shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t really help myself – the woman is
gorgeous, she should be told.

“Thank you Elliot,” is all she says.

“Wait, what? Where’s the brow beating?” I ask jokingly.

She shrugs and smiles at me as we reach the front of the
line, I order for both of us, and we go and sit at a table near the window
while we wait.

“So why did you go to a salsa club if you didn’t want to dance?”
I ask, watching her play with the packets of sugar on the table. She's
reorganising them, so they're lined up in their colour groups.

“I don’t know why,” she answers. “I hate clubs; I really do
– all that gyrating against strangers,” she makes a face to illustrate her
distaste before continuing, “it just… isn’t my thing. I suppose I thought a
salsa club would be a bit different, and it was. It didn’t have the massive
crowd, but it still had the gyrating and the touching. So I was glad to leave.
Thank you again for coming to get me.”

“It was my pleasure Paige,” I say placing my hand over hers
to stop her fiddling with the sugars. “Relax.”

Quickly withdrawing her hand, she places it in her lap, her
cheeks flush as she looks around the room nervously.

Feeling an emptiness in my palm where her hand was, I move
the sugar to the side and watch her flit, curious as to her behaviour. “Paige,
does it also bother you when I touch you?” I ask, suddenly concerned.

The flush on her face seems to increase as she focuses her
attention on me and meets my eyes. “No,” she breathes, shaking her head
lightly. “No, it’s just the opposite. That’s what bothers me.”

Did I seriously just say that? I see confusion pass over his
face before the realisation of what I admitted dawns on him. I’m ever so
grateful when our coffees are brought over, and our attentions are diverted as
we accept them and thank the server.

He’s watching me, his eyes boring through me as I take a
shaky sip from my coffee. “Oh, fuck that’s hot!” I exclaim, almost spitting the
scalding liquid back into my mug.

A smile plays on the edge of his lips as he watches me
fiddle about with a napkin as I wipe my mouth and try to cool my tongue.

“So um… Naomi’s a fantastic dancer. You should see the way
she twirls around the dance floor. I’ll have to ask her if she’s had lessons
when I see her next,” I say, trying to salvage some sort of normal
conversation.

“Paige,” Elliot says reaching across the table and placing
his hand over my own. My breath catches in my throat as I close my eyes to the
feeling his touch evokes inside me. I’m aroused and frightened all at the same
time. My fear wins out and I try to pull my hand away, but I’m met with
resistance as he encloses his hand firmly over my own. “Please don’t pull
away,” he whispers.

With a shaky breath, I open my eyes, focusing on our
combined hands. I catch myself thinking about what it would be like to give in
to this attraction between us and simply go with the flow for a change instead
of trying to control everything. It’s so tempting, being half way around the
world, to just pretend everything will be ok… so tempting.

I place my other hand on top of his, my thumb caressing his
skin absently as I meet his intense eyes. The attraction between us crackles
and sparks through the air between us, numbing our senses to all that surrounds
us. Closing my eyes, I inhale slowly in an attempt to calm my rapid heart.
“Please Elliot, just let go,” I whisper, a frown etched on my face as my words
betray my feelings.

The moment his hand retreats, I’m at a loss. The ache in my
chest seems to slide down into my stomach and turn sour. “I’m sorry Elliot.
It's not you ok?”

“Save it Paige,” he says, unable to hide the hurt in his
face. “I don’t need any speeches ok. I know where we stand.”

I attempt to fill the emptiness in my hands by wrapping them
around my mug and taking careful sips.

“So, um… Naomi can salsa can she?” he asks, ending the
silence that was stretching out uncomfortably between us.

“She can. She's really amazing actually,” I gush, so
grateful to him for speaking normally to me.

Despite the easy conversation that continues between us, I
can’t help but feel that things have changed between us and not in a good way.
Maybe I need to move out and let him go so he can find someone else. But, the
mere thought of cutting my ties with him causes my chest to constrict and tears
to spring into my eyes.

“Paige, what’s wrong? Are you ok?” Elliot asks quickly as he
watches me clearing my throat and blinking rapidly as I try to get a handle on
my emotions.

“I’m fine Elliot,” I lie. “I just bit my tongue.”

“Oh,” he laughs, settling back into his seat. “Are you
bleeding? Do you want some water?”

“No, I’m fine. It's okay now. Are you ready to go?” I ask,
pushing back my chair and reaching for my bag.

“Sure, lets go,” he says being certain to give me enough
space to move past him as he opens the door for me. He stands so there’s no
chance for us to touch accidentally and continues to keep his distance as we
walk back to the car. I feel a deep sense of regret about how I reacted
earlier. I miss his closeness already; I miss the gentle brushes when our
bodies connect, and I miss his hand on the small of my back to guide me through
the door. They’re small gestures that had become normal, and now they’re gone…

That moment in the coffee shop when she told me to let go,
keeps playing over and over in my mind, and it hurts like hell every single
time. I’ve been doing my best to maintain the new ‘no touching’ policy that
Paige established between us. But it’s hard. We've spent the best part of a
month getting to know each other, and I didn’t realise how much of a habit
touching her had become. Now, every time we go out as a group or when I walk
home with her, I have had to consciously remind myself to give her physical
space. I feel kind of empty now, and even though I’m trying to maintain our
friendship, it’s hard and I’ve been a bit lax in meeting her after work these
past few days.

It’s not that I’m avoiding her. I just need to work things
out in my own head. She told me that it bothers her that she likes it when I
touch her. Just thinking that sentence hurts my head, and I don’t understand
how I’m supposed to behave around her, so I’m doing my best to stay at work for
as long as possible, keeping busy until I figure out how to handle this.

“Any last minute clients?” I ask Celsey, our American receptionist
who arrived on her working visa not long after I did. 

“Hi Elliot,” she says smiling brightly as she looks up from
what she was doing and tucks her shoulder length blonde hair behind her ear to
keep it from falling over her eyes. “Looking for extra hours?”

“Yeah, I could do with the cash,” I answer. It’s only a half
lie. I'm really just trying to stay back so I have a good reason not to meet up
with Paige again today.

“Can’t we all,” she laughs as she taps at the keys on the
computer in front of her and peers at the information on the screen. “There
aren’t any PT clients, but I heard Jessica saying that she’s struggling today
and wants to go home early, do you think you could take her last couple of
clients on?”

“Absolutely, I’ll go and let her know. Thanks Celsey,” I
smile as I turn to go and find Jessica to tell her I’ll take over for her.

“Looks like you finally pushed hard enough to chase him
away,” Andrea comments as we exit the salon, this is the fourth day in a row
that Elliot hasn’t been waiting for me.

“I think I’ve fucked everything up with him,” I tell her.

“Paige, tell him how you feel. He's obviously crazy about
you. I’ve never known a guy to hang around outside a hair salon like he does
for someone who’s just a friend.”

“What the hell am I supposed to tell him? I don’t know how I
feel about him Andrea.”

“Bull shit,” she says bluntly.

“Excuse me?” I ask surprised.

“Bull shit you don’t know how you feel Paige. Now go and
sort it out with him, I want you smiling at work tomorrow – that frown of yours
drives customers away,” she comments as she walks off leaving me standing in
front of the salon as I contemplate exactly what I should do. 

Pulling out my phone, I text Naomi.
Is Elliot at home?

I wait for a couple of minutes for her to respond, her
answer the deciding factor in which way I go.

No not yet
, she replies.

Knowing what I have to do, I put a call through to his work.

“City Point Club, Celsey speaking,” answers a girl with an
American accent.

“Oh, um hi, I was just calling to ask if Elliot Roberts is
working this evening,” I enquire.

“Yes he is, would you like me to see if has time for another
client?” she asks.

“Um, what time would that be?” I ask.

“He’s booked up until seven thirty.”

“Ah, that’s probably too late for me. Thanks for your help
though.”

“No problem,” Celsey says as I disconnect the call and work
out my timing. If I leave now, I’ll get to his work in time to be waiting for
him for a change.

As I exit the building that houses the City Point Club, I’m
more than ready to go back to the flat and just veg out with a movie for a
couple of hours. Based on the whiteboard this morning only Shane, Paige and I
are due home for dinner. The others are either working or going out with their
significant others.

“Elliot, wait up!” a female voice calls to me the moment my
foot touches the pavement outside. I turn, seeking out a face I might recognise
and notice one of the girls I trained this afternoon smiling and walking
towards me.  “Are you finished for the day?” she asks as she stops in front of
me, she has a tiny figure with long wavy caramel coloured hair and large brown
eyes, although I can’t remember her name.

“Yeah, I’m just headed home,” I reply, smiling politely at
her.

“Could I interest you in maybe grabbing dinner, or a drink?”
she asks hopefully, adjusting her hair and smiling brightly at me, in an
attempt to appear flirtatious.

Clearing my throat, I look up at the building feeling
awkward as I work out my reply, “Um, what was your name?”

“Kerry,” she responds quickly.

“Right, Kerry. Listen, thanks for the offer but I’m expected
elsewhere tonight,” I lie, trying to make this easier on both of us.

“Oh, well maybe some other time?” she presses.

Smiling I reach out and touch her arm in an attempt to let
her down gently. “Listen, I’m sure you’re a lovely girl,” I start.

As I walk towards Elliot’s work, I spot him standing outside
talking to a tiny girl who is obviously flirting with him. My heart starts to
hammer against my breastbone as I witness him smile and reach out to touch her
arm. In that moment, my rational mind leaves my body, and I find myself
standing boldly in between them, behaving like a woman scorned.

“Who the hell are you?” I practically spit at the tiny super
pretty girl with her beautiful hair and perfect body who I instantly dislike.

Elliot cuts his head towards me, and frowns like he’s not
really sure what I’m doing here. Truthfully, I don’t even know what I’m doing
here – I seem to have lost my mind somewhere along the way.

“Paige? What are you doing? Why are you here?”

“Oh I’m sorry; you have a girlfriend. I should have known,”
the tiny girl I hate squeaks out in her annoyingly cute voice.

I simply glare at her as Elliot frowns at my behaviour.
“Kerry, I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Thank you for the invite
though,” Elliot tells her kindly before he takes my arm and guides me forward
until we’re out of tiny Kerry’s earshot. “Paige, what are you doing?” he smiles
patiently, his voice calm as he searches my face for answers.

“Well I’m sorry. I was trying to be nice and meet you at
work for a change. I didn’t realise you were staying late at work so you could
pick up,” I bite out churlishly.

“What the fuck Paige?” he demands confused, “I just knocked
her back. Right in front of you.”

“Whatever Elliot, I saw you touching her arm.”

“Are you serious?! Paige, I was trying to let her down
kindly – she’s a client. This is my work. I can’t be a bastard and just tell
her to fuck off because I’m interested in a girl who hates that she likes it
when I touch her. It doesn’t sound quite right does it?” he asks, a slight edge
to the calm he’s fighting to keep in his voice.

“I don’t hate it,” I whisper as I close my eyes in a fight
to make my internal defences let me open up to him. “This…this is hard for me
ok? I haven’t been close to anyone for years… and I…I’m just not sure how to do
it.”

“I don’t want to push you Paige. But I don’t know what I’m
supposed to do.”

My mouth opens and closes as I fight to find something to
say, “I don’t know either,” is all I manage.

He looks up to the heavens for some sort of answer as he
sighs and chews the side of his lips. “Let’s just go ok?” he says as he puts
his hand on the small of my back and prompts me to walk in the direction of the
train station. The return of that simple touch is more beautiful than I can
bear, and I have to pretend to brush my hair out of my face to catch the tear
that escapes from my eye.