A Beautiful Lie (The Camaraes) (61 page)

..ooOOoo..

Muira kept her eyes shut, and tried to keep her breathing sounding deep and steady, as though she was really asleep.  She wasn
’
t asleep clearly.  She hadn
’
t been able to sleep, although she
’
d been lying in bed for what felt like forever- lying there waiting for Lachlan to return.

She didn
’
t know what she was waiting to happen when he got back from the Laird.  Another argument perhaps, followed by a repeat of what had happened on Lachlan
’
s deck the night beore?  Muira had squirmed guiltily as she remembered how he had taken her... she was disgusted with herself for enjoying it, and she knew that if he tried to take her again she wouldn
’
t stop him.

Perhaps that was the proof of Lachlan
’
s vicious words?  She still wanted him
…

Muira had panicked a little when she heard the door handle turn.  She had lain still and quiet, and tried to prepare herself to feel the mattress give as her husband slid into bed beside her- except nothing had happened quite as she had expected it to.

There had been voices, Lachlan
’
s and her mother-in-law
’
s
…
Lachlan defending her
…
Lachlan declaring that he loved her
…
  Muira had gasped aloud on hearing him make the declaration to his mother.

He didn
’
t mean it!
  Muira told herself over and over again.  Just as he hadn
’
t meant it when he
’
d said it to her
…
but then
why
was he saying that he loved her at all? 

She toyed with the question as she continued feigning sleep, at any moment expecting the bed to give and a hand to reach for her
…
and was she fearing or hoping for the thick rod of Lachlan
’
s cock to be pressed urgently against her?  If sex were all that she was good for then surely he wouldn
’
t deny himself? 

And yet he never came for her, and Muira hated herself for the disappointment she felt.

In her dreams Lachlan was not so inattentive.  He was all over her, on top of her, inside her
…
kissing her, caressing her, loving her
…
several times during the night Muira woke up, hot and breathless and aching inside.  She squirmed uncomfortably, needing Lachlan fiercely. 

Lachlan, or
any
man
, Muria wondered bitterly?  Was she a creature driven purely by wanton lust now?  Could any lover do for her what Lachlan had? 

“
No,
”
Muira whimpered miserably into her pillow.  She wanted her husband.  She was terrified that she was never again going to have him, and yet she was simultaneously appalled with herself for still desiring him in every way that a woman could desire a man.

After tossing and turning for hours, Muira finally succumbed to a deep state of slumber just a little before dawn.  She then slept right through until mid morning, when a timid prod from her maid finally roused her.

“
Begging your pardon, Mistress,
”
Liane apologised profusely, bobbing up and down in a curtsy. 
“
But I was getting worried about you.  It
’
s not like you to lay abed all day.
”

Muira yawned and stretched, and then cast a furtive eye around the room as all of her memories of the previous days rebounded upon her.  Where was Lachlan?  He wasn
’
t in the chamber, and his study looked to be closed up- although she supposed that he might have locked himself inside.

As if she could read her mistress
’
s thoughts, Liane provided the answers. 
“
The Master had to ride down to the village early, Mistress.  There was some skirmish last night, fighting and the like, down at the Thistle.  The Laird asked Master Lachlan to go down and find out what the trouble was, on account of one of the men, God rest his soul, coming to an untimely end, so to speak,
”
Liane gossiped.

Muira eyes widened at this news. 
“
You don
’
t think it
’
s at all dangerous down there now do you, Liane?
”
she gasped.  She might not be overly fond of her husband at the present moment, but she had no desire to be a widow!

“
Oh I wouldn
’
t be surprised if it were, Mistress,
”
Liane announced, quite unperturbed.  She caught a glance of Muira
’
s face however, and quickly amended her answer. 
“
Not that Master Lachlan would ever come to harm.  Everyone knows what a great warrior
he
is, no one could hurt
him
,
”
she said, with such confidence that Muira couldn
’
t help but feel just a little twinge of pride.

However, supposing someone snuck up on him from behind, supposing that he was out numbered, or supposing- Muira suddenly started in surprise when she sat up and her eyes fell upon a large bouquet of hothouse flowers.

“
Sent up from the village by the master,
”
Liane beamed, seeing where Muira
’
s attention lay. 
“
Must have cost a small fortune,
”
she breathed quietly, staring at the artificially grown flowers in awe.

“
Aye,
”
Muira mumbled her agreement.  So Lachlan was trying to buy her forgiveness, was he?  She caught Liane
’
s puzzled looked and quickly added something a little more enthusiastic. 
“
They are beautiful.
”

..ooOOoo..

Muira was presented with a host of beautiful things over the coming days: a new dress, a ruby necklace, a chestnut mare to ride
…
  Lachlan himself was more frequently around than he had been before- before
that
night too, but he was also much more distant.  He was unfailingly polite and attentive, but there were no more smouldering glances and desperate kisses, there was rarely even a genuine smile, and there was never the promise of a frantic, passion-fuelled coupling.

Muira felt as though she was living a pale imitation of what her life had once been, and an even paler imitation of what it
could
have been if only she
’
d been able to believe her husband
’
s declarations of love.  She took a tiny, bitter little crumb of solace from the fact that Lachlan
’
s failure to renew those declarations
had
to mean that they
’
d been a lie. 

His attempt to buy back her favour with an array of expensive gifts was nothing more than him trying to pacify her into being a docile little wife- and perhaps also an attempt to ease his own conscience?  She
’
d never thought of Lachlan as a monster of any kind.  She believed that he was sorry for what had happened, but how did she know that it wouldn
’
t happen again? 
…
And was sorry enough? 

“
Muira?
”

She was dragged out of her reverie by Lachlan
’
s voice.  She had been sitting by the fire in their room reading, or rather, she had been sitting by the fire in the their room with a book in her hands staring into space, as she was prone to doing these days.  She turned and looked up at her husband.  Was it her imagination or had he aged in the last week?  Muira was certain that there were flecks of grey in his dark hair that hadn
’
t been there before.

“
We
’
ve just received word from the Camerons,
”
he said quietly.  Muira had noticed that he always spoke quietly now, he never raised his voice, never growled in the way he had been prone to doing before.  It was although he
’
d put himself on a leash that he was holding relentlessly tight.

“
Oh?
”
she murmured, as Lachlan was obviously waiting for some kind of a response from her.  Muira hadn
’
t forgotten that some members of her own clan were due to be visiting Eilean Donan, but she had tried to- she was scared of what it would mean for her
…
scared that she was going to be sent back to Castle Cameron.

And would that really be so bad? 
Hadn
’
t she just been thinking about the fact that her current life was only a half-life?  But without Lachlan at all, would it be no life?  If she could just wait things out he
’
d crack though, he
’
d have to!  He
’
d let her see what he was really thinking, how he was really feeling, and then she
’
d understand where she stood.  They couldn
’
t go on in this frozen state forever!