A Beautiful Mess (2 page)

“No you don’t, Mel,” Olivia replied quickly. She knew it wasn’t the healthiest form of relationship. She just hated getting too close to anyone. Once you did, they disappointed you one way or another. Or they would leave you and you’re stuck picking up the pieces of your shattered heart. So, don’t get close, and you don’t ever have to deal with the heartache, so Olivia thought.

“Fuck, I need a drink now. You’re too depressing,” Kiera laughed, looking for a server, scowling when there were none in sight.

“I’ll go grab a few drinks. What do you want?” Olivia asked, getting up from the table.

“The usual.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back. Anyone else need another drink?”

Melanie and Bridget shook their heads and she headed to the bar to get some drinks. There were quite a few people surrounding the bar, so she got in line to wait her turn to order when suddenly she felt two hands on her waist.

“Hey beautiful,” someone whispered into Olivia’s ear from behind. She turned around and saw Simon standing in back of her.

“Oh hi,” she replied coolly, exhibiting no enthusiasm for him. She turned back around, not wanting to miss her opportunity to place her much needed drink order.

“I like this top,” he said as he dragged a finger down the middle of her open back. “It’s hot.” She visibly cringed at the contact, but Simon failed to notice. “So’s the skirt,” he said, taking in her short black mini skirt. “You’ve got killer legs.”

“Thank you, Simon,” she replied over her shoulder. He was a good enough looking guy, his blond hair kept messy in a sexy kind of way that Olivia liked when they first started “seeing” each other. Although he was only a few inches taller than Olivia, she didn’t seem to mind. In a city like Boston, it was difficult to find guys over six feet tall.

Olivia sighed when Simon didn’t take the hint that she was not in the mood to talk. It was obvious he was drunk and Olivia assumed he had gone to the Sox game earlier, as he was in full Red Sox fandom gear and his breath reeked of cheap beer and hot dogs. Simon was a life-long Boston resident, complete with a thick Boston accent. Olivia didn’t think the accent would bother her when they first got together, but it had become difficult to find him attractive in the sack when he kept saying “harder, harder” in that Boston accent. Maybe that’s why she never came.

Olivia remained silent for several minutes, her irritation growing, while Simon caressed her back. She hated public displays of affection, but she let him touch her.
It’s the least I could do because he knows I won’t let him stick his tongue down my throat in public
, Olivia thought. Relationships were all about give and take, she had learned - even her fucked up version of relationships. He slipped his hands in through the side of her shirt and slowly made his way up to her breasts.

“Simon, no!” she shouted, turning her head around and elbowing him in the stomach.

“Oh, come on, baby,” he breathed onto Olivia’s neck as he pulled her toward him, her back to his front. She could feel the erection in his jeans. “I haven’t seen you since Monday. It’s killing me. Let’s get out of here.”

“I just got here.” Olivia pushed Simon away, ridding herself of his grasp. “I want to have a few drinks with the girls. I’ll find you in a little bit. I’m going to order my drinks now if you’re done groping me in public, you sicko,” she sneered.

“Okay, Livvy. Whatever.”

Olivia hated when he called her Livvy. It was Olivia or Libby. Certainly never Livvy. Well, at least not to him.

Simon walked away laughing, thinking she was joking. She wasn’t joking. Simon was disturbing. There was definitely something off about him, but she could not put her finger on it. Time to end it, Olivia decided. But first, some drinks. Simon could wait.

After finally placing her drink order, she made her way back to her table with four tequila shots in one hand and two beer bottles in the other; her years of working as a bartender helping her with the delicate balancing act.

“Oh hey. Our server came by while you were at the bar, so we ordered with her, too,” Kiera said.

“Good! There’s no such thing as too much liquor. I think tonight’s looking like a good night for some tequila. Who’s in and who’s out?” Olivia asked, sitting down and pointing to the tequila shots she had placed on the table. “There’s something about today that makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.”

“Let’s do it,” Melanie replied, laughing.

“Yup, although I know I’m going to regret this in the morning,” Bridget said, grabbing her tequila shot.

“Wait, where’s the lime and salt?” Kiera asked.

“That shit’s for pussies.” Olivia held up her shot glass. The girls followed suit. “Here’s to you. Here’s to me. Friends for life we’ll always be. If we should ever disagree, fuck you. Here’s to me.” The friends clinked glasses and gulped the shot back. The silver liquid burned as it went down Olivia’s throat. She felt the warmth in her stomach and immediately started to relax.

“Well, at least you ordered good tequila or I’d be heaving already,” Bridget said.

“Nothing but the best for me. Life is too short to waste it on shitty alcohol.”

“You should make a tee shirt with that saying on it,” Kiera choked out with tears in her eyes, clearly having trouble stomaching the tequila.

 
“It’s going to be a good night, I can tell.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“I need to use the little girls room,” Olivia said several hours later, standing from their table. She headed to the bathroom only to be met with a line snaking around the long corridor. Scowling, she decided to go to the second floor to see whether that line was any better. Olivia climbed up the stairs, which proved to be slightly more challenging than usual, owing to her chunky heels and the drinks she had consumed. She made her way down the dark back hallway, thankful to see no line at the ladies’ room. When she finished up and exited, someone grabbed her arm, pushing her against the wall.

“You’ve been ignoring me all night,” Simon breathed, using his body to crush Olivia’s to the wall, pinning both arms on either side of her head with his hands.

“I haven’t been ignoring you. I’ve been spending some time with my friends. Get off me so I can go back to them,” Olivia replied forcefully, trying to hide the fact that, in all actuality, she was rather frightened. Simon had never been that aggressive with her before.

As she stood there in his grasp, she silently hoped someone would come to use the restroom soon so that Simon would let her go. She was not sure if she should tell him that she was done with him, given her current predicament.

Simon kept her pinned to the wall for what seemed like an eternity as he looked down on her, licking his lips like an animal stalking his prey.

“Simon, please,” Olivia begged, terror flashing in her big brown eyes.

“Oh, Livvy. You really are beautiful when you beg.” He planted rough kisses against her jaw line, grinding his hips against hers as he crushed her against the wall.

“Simon, I’m not going to ask you again. Please, let me go.” Olivia closed her eyes, not wanting to look into his eyes anymore. She tried to free herself from his grasp, to no avail. He was definitely much stronger than her.

“What’s going on here?” a familiar, deep voice broke through. Olivia opened her eyes looking for the source of the voice. A wave of relief washed over her.

“Simon, please,” Olivia whispered, glaring at him, her vindication returning.

“Fine. Stupid whore.” He released her and stumbled down the hallway onto the dance floor.

“We’re done, Simon,” she said, raising her voice so it was clear that it was over between them. He didn’t even turn around, but it was obvious he heard her when he raised his right hand and flipped Olivia off.

She let out a huge breath and turned to the source of the voice, staring into the dark eyes of one of her old college friends.

“Mo,” Olivia said.
 

“You picked a real winner this time, Livvy.”

Olivia usually hated when people call her Livvy, but Mo was the exception to the rule. The only other person who ever called her Livvy was her father and Mo reminded Olivia so much of him, right down to the name. Giacomo. Most of his friends called him Jack, but Olivia called him Mo.

“Yeah, I know.” Olivia walked over to Mo and into his arms, happy to see one of her oldest friends again. She felt a calming feeling as she stayed in his embrace, the memory of the night they met making her smile. Olivia worked at an area bar that his band played at. One evening, before the bar opened, she had finished her prep work early when she noticed that the band had already set up their gear. The bar was empty, so she stepped up to the piano and sang one of her favorite songs.

It was a song that reminded Olivia of her parents. Something about that moment made it seem like the right thing to do. Maybe her parents were looking down from above because, unbeknownst to her, Mo had been watching the performance. He was very impressed with her voice and asked her to sing a few songs with his band. She agreed, and throughout her years at Boston College, she always jumped on stage for a few numbers with the guys.

She hadn’t seen Mo since she graduated and fled Boston. Olivia pushed him away after graduation, just like she pushed away everyone she was close to.
If you keep everyone at a distance, you can’t ever really lose them
, she thought.

“It’s good to see you, Mo. Really good. It’s been too long.” She pulled out of Mo’s embrace and looked into his eyes, overwhelmed with a thousand emotions from seeing her dear friend once again.

“It has been too long. Five years, if I remember correctly.” He eyed Olivia, his eyebrows raised. She lowered her head, feeling guilty for never getting in touch with Mo once she came back to the city. And for cutting him out of her life in the first place. “I’m glad you’re back in Boston, but please stop dating assholes like that. You know I think of you like a little sister and the next guy that treats you like less than a princess, I’m going to have to kill him, and I really don’t want to go to prison right now. At least, not until the band performs tonight.” He winked at Olivia, their eyes nearly even from both of them being the same height.

“You know I don’t do the relationship thing, Mo.”

“I know you don’t, but that still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be treated well, no matter what your relationship is with someone.”

 
“Still teaching?” Olivia wanted to change the subject from her inability to have healthy relationships with people, something Mo was all too aware of.

“Yup. Instilling musical ability into the minds of our children on a daily basis. It pays the bills while I slum around on the weekends with the band, playing bars,” he joked. Mo had been teaching music at the elementary school level for as long as Olivia had known him.

“You guys are playing tonight?” she asked with her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed.

“We sure are.” He smiled, running his hand through his dark hair. “When did you get back into town?” he asked, changing the subject back to Olivia. He knew her too well and was more than aware of all her tricks.

“I’ve been living here for a year now,” she admitted.

“You’ve been back a year and never got in touch with me? I’m hurt.” He placed his hands over his heart, faking a broken heart.

“I know. I know. I’m a horrible friend.”

“Well, I’ve known you were back,” he smiled. “Kiera can’t keep her mouth shut.”

She laughed. That sounded like her friend. “She planned this, didn’t she?”
 

He remained speechless while Olivia glared at him.

“You have a terrible poker face. You know that, right?”

Mo shrugged. “Come on, baby girl. Get back on stage with us. It’ll make you feel better.” He flashed his brilliant teeth, made even brighter against his olive-toned skin.

Olivia sighed, thinking about the last time she played with the guys. Her mind immediately flash-backed to that awful time in her life. Graduation. Wanting to celebrate that milestone of her life and having everything ripped out from underneath her feet. Again.

“Come on, Livvy,” he pled while gently touching her arm, comforting her. “It’ll be good for you. You need to start playing again. And in front of bigger crowds than at Open Mic night.” He raised his eyebrows at her.

Of course. Kiera must have told him about Open Mic.
She totally planned this
,
she thought. “Fine,” Olivia huffed.

Mo hadn’t seen Olivia in years, but it was like nothing had changed. He knew she was starting to shut down.

But Olivia’s past was too painful to think about, so shutting down was the only way she could continue to survive. At that point, Olivia just wanted to survive.

“T
HANK
you!” Mo shouted to a captive audience that had swelled in size over the last hour. “Now, for a little surprise. In the audience tonight is our good friend, Miss Olivia Adler!”

The crowd roared at the mention of her name. Butterflies started to form in Olivia’s stomach, nervous energy coursing through her body. Kiera grabbed her hand, knowing that she still got nervous before she performed.

“Those of you who have been following us for the past several years know that she used to sing with us. What do you all think about getting her up here to sing again?” The decibel level in the club sky-rocketed.

Olivia walked through the crowd and climbed onstage, looking over the sea of people standing in the large, dark room, illuminated only by the bright lights of the stage. She immediately wondered why she had agreed to get onstage with Mo and the guys again. The room was packed with hundreds of people, all standing shoulder to shoulder, enthusiastically cheering for Olivia as she made her way to the center of the stage.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and shut everything out, finding her calm. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled as she walked up to the microphone, ready for her performance. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” she shouted to overwhelming cheers. “I think we’re going to take it back a little bit. For those of you who came to watch us when we gigged at a great little bar called Scotch, this will bring back some memories. Hit it.” With that, the familiar sound of The Rolling Stones’
Honkey Tonk Woman
filled the bar. Olivia was back where she felt most comfortable and loved it. She could forget about her past and just live in the moment of the music.