A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (12 page)

"I
said it was nothing, Zander," she said, as she turned around and
narrowed her eyes at me. "How about we just call it even for
what I heard and figured out earlier today. That won't be happening
anymore by the way."

I
took a deep breath in and slowly let it back out.

"Thank
you for cleaning up too," my mom said. "How's April?"

"She's
fine," Livie answered. "Z fixed her up and calmed her
down."

"You're
such a good mom to those two little ones. I can't imagine what they'd
do without you. You've helped me more than I could ever repay these
last four years. I hope you know how much I appreciate everything."

Livie
stopped and let the pot fall into the sink. She turned and looked
down at my mom. It was coming, and I knew it. There was no way she
was going to let what she heard earlier go without voicing her
opinion. That was one of the things I liked about her. I just didn't
like when it was directed at me.

"Look,
Carol," Livie began. "I know you've had a really rough
week, so I won't say exactly what I've been thinking today. I do have
to say something though. I have to get it out. You're a great woman.
You were a good mom to Zander. I help you because he's my best friend
and always will be. Even if we don't talk, he's still the best friend
I've ever had. I heard you say some stuff earlier today that really
hurt me badly. I know that Zander is where he should be. When I saw
him taking care of April, I realized he needed to help people. It's
what he's supposed to do. I understand I've never lived anywhere but
here. I married a piece-of-shit who screwed me over in more ways than
one. I said I would never be with a man that was like my dad, and I
married one just like him. You're right. I'm not good enough for
Zander. I'll never deserve him. That doesn't change the fact that it
hurts that you think of me as trash."

"I
don't think of you as trash, Olivia," my mom said. "You're
an amazing woman. You're the best mom I've ever met. You're a much
better mom than I ever was. You put your kids first. I respect that.
You deserve love. I want you to have that. I want you to find someone
who will take care of you and love you and the kids. You've helped me
so much. You put everyone before yourself. I would never think bad of
you. I just know that you belong here. Zander doesn't. He belongs in
the city helping people. He was pissed when we moved here. He told me
every single day he was leaving when he turned eighteen. I know he
doesn't belong here. I used to tell him that when he talked about
you."

"Don't
you think if we cared about each other, we could have worked it out?"
Livie asked.

"No,
I don't," my mom said. "You two came from different worlds
with different goals. You needed to follow your dreams. Yours was to
buy that bakery, get married, and have babies here. His was to move
back to New York and become a doctor."

I
couldn't take in another second. Without thinking, I spoke.

"What
if we were wrong?" I snapped. "What if what we thought we
wanted wasn't really what we were supposed to do? What if we made a
mistake?"

I
turned, walked out, and slammed the door behind me.

Olivia

I
stopped when Zander spoke and walked out. When the door slammed, I
jumped. What was he saying, was all I could think? Did he like me the
way I liked him all those years ago? Did he still like me? He said he
had never been in a relationship. I knew he seemed pretty happy that
day I saw him kissing that woman. My mind was going in fifty
directions, and I needed to pull myself together.

"I'm
going to go and put the kids to bed. I'll come back and help in the
morning," I said.

"Please
don't think I don't like you, Olivia," Carol said. "I think
you're an amazing woman. I just don't think you belong with Zander.
You two are not the same. I care about you and am so thankful for
everything you have done for Pete and for me."

"I
did all of those things for Z. I didn't want him to worry about you
or your husband. His dad treated him like shit, but Z still loved and
tried to please him. You have no idea how amazing your son is. He's
done so much for you, and you don't even realize it. He does things
without expecting anything in return. He does them without wanting
thanks. He does them out of love."

I
thought about that for a moment. He does them out of love, I thought.
It's true. He was there for me all those years, just not in person.
He said he quit talking to me because I was marrying Mike. I
remembered the things he'd said about not wanting to call. He had
paid my doctor bills after the divorce without me knowing. It made me
wonder what else he might have done.

"I
have to go," I said.

Carol
called out after me, but I was already on the way to my house. I
quickly bathed Jack and got him in bed. Then I moved April to my bed.
She seemed comfortable. I couldn't help but think about Zander taking
care of her. Once they were both settled, I grabbed a few cookies and
two cups of coffee and headed out back.

I
knew it was silly after all those years that I still had my spot.
Grown women didn't have those things. I just couldn't give it up. It
was the place I lost my virginity to my best friend. It was our place
together. I saw the light coming from the woods. We had lights and a
small heater back there. I added things over the years, but it was
still mostly the same.

When
I walked up, I couldn't help but look at him. He had a blanket laid
out and was looking up at the stars. I walked closer quietly. He had
scared the shit out of me a few days before. Crap! He had only been
there a few days. I knew he would be leaving again very soon. There
was no way I could let myself get involved in having feelings for him
again. Who was I kidding, I thought? Those feelings never left. I
didn't know what I was going to do when he left again.

"I
brought you some coffee and cookies," I said.

He
jumped, and I burst out laughing.

"You
scared the shit out of me, Livie," he snapped.

"How's
it feel?" I asked through my giggles.

"You
think that's funny?" he asked.

I
set both of the coffees and the cookies down on the table and walked
closer to where he was.

"Yep,"
I said.

Within
seconds, I was on my back on the blanket and he was straddling me.

"What
the," I began.

"You
think it's funny now?" he asked, as he grabbed my arms and held
them against the ground above my head.

His
eyes were looking directly into mine. I had always loved the dark
color of his eyes. They changed shade depending on his mood. Having
him straddling my waist with me on my back wasn't easy. The feel of
his hands holding mine had my mind whirling. There was so much heat
in his touch, and my entire body was on fire. When he leaned down and
got close to my ear, I felt a shiver run through my body and stop
between my legs. I clenched my thighs together, hoping to stop the
rush I had spreading through me. The man obviously had no idea it had
been four years since I'd had sex.

"You're
messing with the wrong man, Livie," he whispered.

The
warmth of his breath by my ear had me moving beneath him. He smelled
so good. I pulled at my arms to move them, but he wouldn't let them
go. There was no way I could stay under him. I'd seriously explode
with my clothes still on. Sad, I know, but so damn true. He was like
sex on legs. Z had always done things to me, but with his new,
amazing body, it was insane. I needed to get away from him. He was
watching for my reaction. I looked into his eyes and my tongue darted
out between my teeth. He smirked and sucked in a breath. I lifted my
hips and ground them against him. He hissed, as his hold on my hands
tightened.

"Stop,"
he demanded, and my hips fell without thinking. What the hell, I
thought. "Don't start something you have no intention of
finishing, Livie. I'm not the same guy anymore. I can do so much more
to that amazing body than I could when we were eighteen. Do you
remember prom night?"

I
nodded my head without a word. Who knew what my voice would have
sounded like if I had tried to speak.

"That's
nothing compared to what I want to do to you right now," he
said.

His
tongue came out and licked around my ear, and I felt like I was in my
favorite dream. Would it really be so bad, I wondered? What would one
time hurt? My eyes closed. There was no way I wanted to wake up. I
wanted to remember the feel of his body against mine forever. He
would be leaving soon, but I could keep that part of him. When his
tongue began to move down my neck, my hips went back up to meet him.

"It's
been a long time, Z," I whispered. "I need to go."

"What's
been a long time, Livie?" he asked.

The
seductive way my name left his lips left me wanting.

"For
me," I whimpered. "I haven't."

His
mouth came down on mine and stole my breath away. The softness of his
lips had me pulling at my hands again. He was driving me crazy. I
heard him chuckle, as he pulled them tighter. His tongue commanded
entrance to my mouth, and I willingly opened for him. When my tongue
felt his, I moaned into his mouth. His kiss deepened. It was hard and
rough but loving at the same time. My body was moving beneath his,
and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I wanted him inside of
me so badly. My hips bucked up against his, and I could feel his
erection growing beneath his jeans.

"Four
years," I whispered. "I haven't been with anyone in four
years."

I
felt my self-consciousness beginning to take me over. My body
stiffened, and I tried to buck him off of me.

"Stop,"
he snapped again. "You don't want this?"

He
pulled back from the kiss and looked down at me. My eyes were still
sealed shut.

"Open
your eyes," he said.

I
shook my head no.

"Open
your eyes, Livie," he said roughly.

I
opened them slowly.

"Do
you want me to stop?" he asked.

"Yes,"
I said. "No."

His
eyes narrowed down at me.

"I
don't know," I said.

"Tell
me what it is," he said.

I
sat silent.

"You
can tell me anything, Livie," he said. "Talk to me, baby."

I
felt like I was going to melt.

"It's
been four years, Z," I said. "I haven't been with anyone
since him. You were the only one before him. I've only been with two
men in my entire life. I haven't been with either in four long years.
I know you said you've done some things. I'm not sure I want to know
how many things. I'm sure the women you've been with were far more
experienced than me. When we were in high school, I knew you had been
with other girls. This is different."

"What
are you afraid of?" he asked.

"Disappointing
you," I said.

"Fuck,
Livie," he said. "That would never happen. I mean never.
You could never do a single thing to disappoint me. Don't ever think
that. Do you feel how hard my cock is against you?"

He
ground down against me.

"I'm
fucking harder than I've ever been, baby. I want you so badly right
now. You have no idea what you do to me."

I
looked into his eyes and smiled.