A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (23 page)

"Jack's
afraid to go to school. He's nervous. I told him I would call you. We
know you're really busy. I told him you would probably say no, but he
asked me to try. We want to know if you can take us to school on our
first day this year. It's starting Monday morning. If you can't, I
understand. I told him I would ask you. Grandma said I could call
you. She said not to bother you very long. I told her I would hurry.
She said you work a lot and this is your time to rest. What are you
doing?"

My
heart melted instantly. I told the two of them I would be there
whenever they needed me. Her asking me to take them to school went
straight to my heart. It made me feel so good that they would want me
to be there on their first day. I honestly felt honored. How could I
tell them no after I told them I would be there? I would look like a
liar. There was no way I could fly there for Monday morning. What was
I was going to tell her?

"You
can call for anything. It doesn't mean I will always say yes, but I
want you to ask me anything you want. If you need anything, it's okay
to call. I don't care if it's the weekend or during the week. I'm
watching the same cartoon as you. I can hear it through the phone."

She
went on about how excited she was that we were watching the same
thing even though we weren't together. We stayed on the phone and
talked about what was happening through the entire show. I missed
those two and their mom. When I heard Jack in the background, I
couldn't tell her no. He was asking if she'd asked me yet and what I
said. I could hear the nervous sound in his voice. How could I let
him down? He was scared, and I was the one he wanted there. It made
me think about my dad and what he would have done. He wouldn't have
been there. I couldn't be him. There was no way.

"Let
me see what I can do. Don't mention it to anyone yet. I have to check
some things out first," I said.

"Okay,"
she said with excitement in her voice. "I'll hang up so you can
go figure it out. We miss you."

She
hung up before I could even say goodbye. They were the most wonderful
kids in the world. Mike was so lucky to be there father, I thought. I
had even shocked myself with that thought. Thinking someone was lucky
to be a father when I didn't even want kids. What were they doing to
me, I wondered?

I
got up from the couch and hurried to my computer to look at my
calendar for that week. Appointments for Monday could be shifted.
There was nothing pressing that day. I got online to see if I could
find a plane ticket. They were outrageous of course. That's how it
went when you tried to buy one last minute. Without thinking twice, I
purchased the ticket. There was no way I was passing up an
opportunity to be there when it was that important to them.

After
a few minutes, I thought about what I was doing. If I show up,
they're going to think I'll be there at a moment's notice. I never
wanted to disappoint them, but I would have to talk to them. They
needed to know that sometimes my schedule couldn't be changed. I
wanted them to know that just because I would have to miss some
things wouldn't mean I cared for them any less. Then I thought about
Livie and hoped she wouldn't be pissed that I was flying there for
them without mentioning it first. What if she wanted to take them to
school alone, I thought? Would she let me go with her? Would she tell
them no? It was too late. I had already bought the ticket and emailed
my office. It was a risk I was willing to take. Even if she was
pissed the entire time, at least I'd get to see her.

I
took off for my room like a kid on Christmas running for the tree. It
was unbelievable even to me. I couldn't wait to pack my bag. I was
throwing clothes into the bag and had to laugh when I noticed all I
was packing were jeans. What a difference that family made in me. My
life was so much better with them in it. I knew in that moment that I
never wanted them to not be there. The three of them consumed my
every thought. They were it. I wanted them in my life. I never wanted
to let them go.

My
phone rang from the other room and I yelled out to see if my
housekeeper could grab it. I only had so long to get out of the house
and to the airport. I heard her say hello from the other room. She
said it more than once. I never heard her say anything else.

"What
happened?" I yelled out.

"They
hung up," she yelled back. "I could hear them on the other
line. When I said hello, I heard them hang up."

"Did
it say who it was?" I asked.

"Livie,"
she answered.

Oh
shit! I could only imagine what she thought. She knew I had been with
women. When she came to New York to see me, she saw me kissing
someone. She picked up my phone when I was home and saw a text
message from a woman. She was probably so pissed. No she wasn't, I
thought. Why would she be? She didn't want me. She even made a
comment about me finding someone to change my mind about having a
family. If she cared about me, she wouldn't have said that, would
she? I had no idea what she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. I
wanted her, and I was going to show her just how much.

The
cab was waiting outside to take me to the airport. I grabbed my bags
and ran out the door. There was no way I was calling her. It wouldn't
be long. I didn't want to ruin anything. It would be better to talk
in person. That way she couldn't hang up on me. I had the cab driver
make a stop on the way to the airport. He would still have me there
on time.

It
was pretty early. She would still be at work when I got there. I
called my mom. She was the only one that knew I was coming.

My
bags were already with me when I got off of the plane. I took off for
the arrival doors to find my mom waiting in her car. There was a lot
I needed to do in a short amount of time. I drove so we could get
around faster. She stayed with me while I went to a few stores.

"What
are you doing?" she asked with a disapproving tone.

"You'll
find out," I said.

"You
know," she began.

I
wasn't having it. She wasn't going to tell me one more time what I
needed to do. I didn't care what she thought. It was my life, and I
was living it.

"I
don't want to hear one single negative word about Livie or anyone
else. Not a word. Don't you dare tell her I'm here. This is my life,
mom. I won't have you telling me who's good enough for me. I never
should have listened to you in the first place. You live your life.
You need to let me live mine."

The
kids popped into my mind. They would see me for sure. I couldn't have
that. They would give me being there away. I called Livie's mom and
told her I was there. She was so surprised but played it cool when I
told her I didn't want anyone to know yet. I asked her to keep the
kids busy while I got some stuff back to the woods and then got back
to the house. She probably thought I was crazy but played along with
me.

I
moved as fast as I could to get everything done and get back into my
house without being seen. When Livie pulled up and walked into her
house, it took all I had not to go outside and pull her into my arms.
She looked exhausted and defeated. I didn't realize just how much
helping everyone else was taking a toll on her. That needed to
change. She needed to put herself first.

When
I saw her walk toward my house, I jumped. She was checking on my mom.
Why had I not thought of that? I warned my mom that she had better
not give it away and grabbed anything that wasn't there before I got
there. I took off up the stairs and dumped it all in my room. She
came in and talked to my mom. Something seemed off between them, and
I couldn't help but wonder what it was. The sound of her voice was
music to my ears. She sounded tired and sad. I needed to take that
away from her. Whatever it was, I was going to do everything I could
to make it better.

Olivia

When
I got home, I was already exhausted. I went through my nightly
routine of checking on Carol, dinner, dishes, baths, bed, and finally
bed for me. All I could think about was Zander and that woman
answering his phone. He hadn't told me he had feelings for me or
anything, but I still had a sliver of hope that we would end up
together. I was so wrong. The kids cared for him so much. They seemed
to really be connecting. I know they really liked talking to him
every day. So did I. Between all of the chaos and crazy things I had
going on, his texts and calls were what excited me the most.

The
minute that woman answered the phone, I was brought back to that day
I went to visit him and saw him kissing a woman. He admitted that he
wasn't perfect and had been with women over the years. He didn't lie
about it. I didn't ask him if he was seeing anyone. I guess I should
have. Maybe I shouldn't have. He never said he wanted to be with me.
We never said we were together or anything. It was my fault for
having false hope.

I
had been to the doctor and had the verification that I was indeed
pregnant. I even had the ultrasound picture to prove it. When I
called to hear his voice, hoping it would help me, she answered the
phone.

I
guess I had hoped that he would want the baby too. He was with
someone earlier that day. What was I going to tell him? How was I
going to tell him? Maybe he wouldn't find out. I'm sure he didn't
even remember that we hadn't used protection. I was so deep into the
moment when we were together, I honestly hadn't even thought about
it. He made it clear he didn't want kids. Even the last time he was
home. If I told him, he'd shower me with money to help take care of
the baby. I didn't want his money. I wanted him, and not because of
the baby. I'd always wanted him. He was the only man I ever felt that
way about, but it wasn't going to happen. I knew I needed to tell
him. Even if he wanted nothing to do with being a dad. He was going
to be upset. I just wasn't sure how upset. There was no way I was
going to tell him over the phone. He deserved to know in person.

As
I curled up under the covers, with tears pouring down my face, I
decided that it was time to leave the small town one more time. I was
going to New York to tell him. The more I thought about his reaction,
the more I cried. He needed to know. When I got back, I would tell my
mom and the kids. I didn't regret being pregnant. It shocked me how
excited I was when I saw that little one on the screen and heard the
heartbeat. I wouldn't change it for anything. It was going to be a
busy winter, but I was ready. I just needed some sleep first.

When
I finally stopped crying long enough to close my eyes, I heard a
noise outside. Was it raining, I wondered? It wasn't supposed to. I
heard the noise against my window a second time, and it made me
smile. That was how it sounded when Z used to throw rocks at my
window to get me to come out at night. I did the same thing to him.
Everything was going to be okay. I was sure of it. The noise came a
third time, and I got up in my bed to pull the shade to the side. I
looked down at the ground and realized I really was sleep deprived.
It looked like Zander was standing below the window. So many memories
came flooding into my mind. I missed him so damn bad. When I closed
my eyes, shook my head, and looked again, he was still there. He was
looking up at me with the biggest smile on his face. I wiped my hands
across my face, and he motioned for me to come down. Oh shit, I
thought. He really was there. I had on shorts and a t-shirt, but I
didn't care. There was no way I waiting. What if it wasn't a dream, I
wondered? What if he was really there?

I
slipped on my flip-flops and took off out the door. He was standing
under my window, looking over at me with a smile so wide on his face.
He walked over to me with his arms open wide. As soon as the warmth
of his chest covered me, I felt even more emotions fly to the
surface.

"You're
with some else," was all I could say.

"No,"
he said. "I'm not. My housekeeper answered my phone. I'm so
sorry. I was already on the way out the door and was too afraid to
call you back. Close your eyes."

"What?"
I asked confused.

"Close
them," he said sternly.

I
closed my eyes, and he slipped something soft over my eyes so I
couldn't see.

"There's
something I need to tell you, Z," I said.