A Blue Tale (26 page)

I fell asleep sometime during the night and woke to the smell of coffee filling my senses.  I looked at the clock and saw it was barely five in the morning, way too early for my coffee to be brewing.  I threw on my robe and grabbed the baseball bat I kept strategically placed by my bed before tiptoeing down the stairs.  A rhythmic hum was filtering from the kitchen.

I froze in the doorway when I saw Deacon, sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee out of my favorite mug.  He knew how I felt about that mug. I stumbled in and pointed my baseball bat at him, almost ready to take a swing.

“I’m in love with you, Eli.” He declared. “I’ve known it since I first laid eyes on you. It just took me awhile to see things clearly, to know that I might actually deserve someone like you.”

I lowered the bat and stared at him.

“Deacon-” I tried to speak.

“I know I’m not exactly the kind of man you always dreamed about, I’m definitely not Prince Charming.  If I was you, I wouldn’t choose me.”

“Deacon,” I sighed and walked toward him. “I’ve had time to think things through, as well. I’ve been holding my love in for a while, since that first night, since you shoved me against the wall, and made me feel wanted…and I’ve loved every minute with you since then.”

Relief spread across his face as he slowly closed his eyes.

“I have, too…“

“Wait, let me finish.” I said, holding my finger to his lips. “I’ve had heartache, more heartache than I’d wish on anyone.  I don’t want anymore, no more pieces of my heart leaving me.”

“I’m not gonna be one of them, I’m not gonna leave again.  I never thought I’d live to find someone like you, Eli. Never thought I’d be able to wake up next to someone as fucking good as you.  I know how lucky I am to look at your face every day and know that you see me, you see all of me: the good, the broken, and the healed. I always thought I’d end up like Tony, or worse, dead in some fucking gutter—that’s the only future I ever saw for myself.  But then tonight, thinking I’d never see you again, was the worst feeling I’d ever had in my life, as I walked away from you I felt everything good about me dying.  I can’t lose you again, Eli.”

“You won’t.” I promised, as he pulled me into his lap and his lips found mine.

Epilogue

Eli Blue

The sunbeams gleamed off my dad’s headstone, blinding me momentarily as I gazed at his name etched in the granite. The grass was lush and soft under my body while I lounged with my feet resting on the bench that we had brought to his resting place. Deacon was perched on the edge of the bench with an acoustic guitar resting on his knee while his foot bounced in perfect rhythm to the song he was writing.  He played a few bars while mumbling words and then paused to jot them down in the notebook sitting to his right.

We’d started coming here shortly after our hearts found each other again. I no longer felt overwhelmed by this place, and finally felt the tranquil serenity that so many felt surrounding this city of the dead.  The first time I came back after Shaw’s funeral was at Deacon’s insistence, he wanted me to re-introduce him to my dad.  It made me smile, his attempt at offering me closure, time and time again, proved to me the extent of his love. 

So we’d come back on a chilly, wet day that perfectly matched my gloomy mental state.  It’s not that I didn’t want to return, it was simply easier to push those feelings back, and try to forget them instead of coping.  But with Deacon by my side, it had been much easier to get out of the car and put one foot in front of the other until I reached his grave.  It was still fucking tough, but I’d survived, and now it was one of my favorite places to be.  I came at least once a week, and a lot of the time Deacon would come with me.  He said that he fed off the peace that seeped from each plot and it fueled him creatively.

Shaw’s grave was always within sight, and I visited him each time, as well.  His loss was still fresh and raw within me, boiling to the surface when I least expected to be overtaken by it.  It was constant lava, boiling and rising, sometimes slowly, but sometimes with a force like no other.  I missed him every day, but I knew things happened for a reason, I knew that finding Deacon just before I lost Shaw didn’t happen by chance.  My only regret was not letting Shaw know how much I’d needed him and loved him before he was no longer here, and I knew it would follow me the rest of my days.

“What’s running through that beautiful head of yours?” Deacon asked, tearing me from my thoughts. “You’ve been staring into space for the last ten minutes.”

“Oh you know, the usual.  How lucky I am to have loved so many amazing men in my life, and how blessed I am to have them all nearby on such a pretty day.”

He dropped to the ground from his place on the bench and pulled me between his legs, wrapping his arms around me.

“Do you know how much I love you?” He whispered into my ear, sending chills rushing down my spine.

“I have an idea.” I replied with a smile. “I’m assuming as much as I love you; even when you’re cheesy as shit.”

He laughed and started tickling me with one hand while he held my arms against my body with the other.  I giggled and tried to squirm away from his grasp, but all I managed to do was end up lying flat on my back with him hovering over me, continuing to torture me with both hands.

“Now, what was that you said about me being cheesy?” He asked with orneriness in his voice.

“Wait, stop…I…” Was all I was able force out between the laughing and wiggling I was doing.

“What? Did you say something?” A large smile was stretched across his face, and even though I wanted to pummel him for tickling me, his happiness warmed me completely.

The tickling stopped as he kissed my forehead, stood, and then pulled me to my feet. “We need to get going, Princess. I can’t be late tonight.”

I nodded, “I know, and I already have everything picked out, so it won’t take me long to get ready.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Seriously, you think I’m buying that line? How many different dresses do you plan to try on tonight?”

“A few.” I answered.

He laughed, “That’s what I thought.”

“But only because I want to look perfect for your big night.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’ll still look beautiful.  Plus I’m not going to win anyway.”

I rolled my eyes at his lack of self-confidence. “I know you’re going to win, and I want to look perfect when I flaunt how right I am in your face.”

“Oh whatever, woman, you could be wearing sweats and I’d still be happy.” He slapped my ass, sending me jumping a couple steps away.

I shook my head at him and picked up the bouquet of daisies I’d brought with me. “Let me give these flowers to Shaw first.”

“Sure, I’ll load my stuff and meet you at the car.” He kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes, thankful for his limitless understanding of my need to keep Shaw’s memory alive.

His grave was still a mound of dirt; time had yet to conceal the soil covering his body, just as it had not healed my heart.  I placed the flowers in the granite vase attached to his headstone and thought back to the first day I ever knew I loved him: a sunny, bright, and clear day. I’d always known Shaw, always had him in my life, but had always looked at him as a brother.  We were in the lush, green yard at my house while our dads were practicing in the studio.  There was nothing earth shattering that made my innocent heart know I loved him, we were simply laying side by side watching the clouds drift overhead.  My hand was in between us and skimmed across his, he intertwined our hands without a second thought of his action.  That was it, such a simple sign of genuine affection, and I had loved him as much in that moment as I did today.

I kissed my fingertips and placed them on his name perfectly etched in the stone, “Love you always, Shaw.”

When I made it to the car, Deacon hugged me tight before opening the door for me.

“You ready?” He asked.

I nodded, and we drove away.

***

I came bouncing down the stairs, extremely proud of myself for being ready thirty minutes early.  When I reached the bottom step, I posed myself seductively before getting Deacon’s attention, which was currently on the guitar sitting in his lap.

I cleared my throat, “I’m ready.” I said in a sing-song voice. “Told you it wouldn’t take me long.”

His eyes moved to the grandfather clock sitting across the room, “Can’t believe it, but you are actually early for once.”

He placed the guitar on the couch before standing to turn in my direction.  The minute his gaze fell upon me his eyes darkened and a devilish smile spread across his face.

“Oh fuck, you know what it does to me when you wear that color.” He groaned lustfully.

I smoothed my hands down the pale blue dress that perfectly matched the shade of his eyes.  It was long, flowing, yet hugged me tight, showing every curve with a slit cut high on my left leg; it was perfect. 

“I know exactly how you feel about me wearing blue, which is why I’ve made it the staple color in my wardrobe.” I teased.

He drew closer, and with each step I could see his eyes undressing me.

“No,” I said as his hands ran up my sides and circled my breasts that were covered by tiny blue stones. “We don’t have time.”

“We have all the time in the world.” He said breathlessly.

“I just finished my hair and makeup.” I whined as I tried to push his hands away.

“I don’t need your hair or your face for what I have planned.” He teased as he wrapped his hands around my back and slowly unzipped my dress.

“That’s so romantic, Deacon.” I laughed.

“I can do romance, too…later, I’ll be romantic later.” He promised, but his mind already had me naked with him inside me.

“Just remember when we’re late, it’s your fault this time.” I said just as the dress hit the floor leaving me completely nude.

“Fuck, commando.” His eyes grew wide as he lifted me, wrapped my legs around his waist and headed up the stairs.

His foot hit the bedroom door with a loud bang as he kicked it open and then shut.  We didn’t even make it to the bed; he went down on his knees, still holding onto me, just inside the door.  My ass soothed against the soft fur rug as he sat me down carefully and began to unbuckle his pants.

“Don’t want to mess up that pretty hair of yours.” He smiled while I laughed.

After his clothes were placed in a neat pile on the floor he pulled me astride him as he ravaged my chest and stomach with hot, wet strokes of his tongue.  With his hands on my hips, he moved my entire body up and down his length teasing me with the feel of him.  Strong, rough hands encircled my hips, his thumbs pressing into my hip bones as he held me up and entered me.  The completely full sensation made my head fall back as a loud moan echoed from my lips.

His hands continued to lift and lower my body at a slow and torturous pace; completely controlling his pleasure and mine.  I loved every second of his dominance over my body, and had quickly come to yearn for it.  I ran my hand over his face, relishing the feel of his soft skin and rough whiskers then moving to fist in his shaggy hair.  Needing to feel him more, my hips began to move in perfect sync with his thrusts, until I felt the release I was chasing building within me.  Soft, breathy groans coming from both of us were filling the silence in the room. 

“That’s it, princess, let it go…come with me.”

His wet mouth skimmed across my shoulder and his teeth lightly bit down.  The combination of the pleasure and the pain sent me spiraling over the edge.  My arms went stiff and my fingers tugged at his hair, and instantly, I felt his body tighten beneath me.

“God woman, you get fucking better every time.” He said after we both had a chance to catch our breath.

“No, we get better every time.” I told him.

“Whatever, semantics.  It’s fucking good; that’s all that matters.”

“Yes, it is.” I agreed and kissed him lightly.

We both stood, and he pulled me close, I could still feel his heart pounding in his chest, beating in perfect sync with mine.

“I love you, Eli.” He said in a reverent tone. “I’d be lost without you. You were all I ever wanted; even before I knew what I needed, it was you.”

I looked into his eyes and traced the curves of his face with my finger, “I love you, too, Deacon.  I always will.”

He kissed me with an all-consuming passion, more than anything I’d ever felt in my life, and I knew this was exactly where I belonged.  Even with all the loss my heart had felt to get to this moment, I’d never change a single thing if it still led me here.

There was a light knocking on the bedroom door that broke our kiss.

“Eli?” I heard Willow whisper through the door.

Deacon’s eyes grew wide as he grabbed his clothes from the floor and strutted to the bathroom while I cracked the door open, making sure to shield myself behind it.

Willow was using one hand to cover her eyes, while she held out my dress with the other.

“I found this on the stairs, I assume you’ll be needing it.”

I laughed and took the dress from her, “Yeah I don’t think they’ll let me in naked, do you?”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about them; Deacon won’t let you out of the house naked.  Even though that’s the only state you two seem to be in lately.” She groaned while smiling at the same time.

“Like you’re one to talk.” I goaded her.

“Whatever, this is about you, not me.”  She laughed as she disappeared down the stairs.

***

We were finally at the event arena for Deacon’s big night.  He was nominated for Breakout Guitarist of the Year, and I couldn’t have been more proud.  It was a much smaller award ceremony than most music fans knew about, especially since most had only heard of The Grammys.  But the size didn’t take away from its meaningfulness.

We climbed out of the car and made our way down the sparsely crowded walk way. Deacon looped his hand with mine, and I could feel the nervousness seeping from him.  Willow and Duke were right behind us every step of the way, with Johnny and Blaine trailing behind them.  Although Unforgiven wasn’t up for any awards, they were still here to support Deacon.