A Boat Made of Bone (The Chthonic Saga) (35 page)

“Maybe. I feel like a demon. A black angel. I can neither live nor die. At least, I can’t live in the world I wish to live in.”

“What world is that?”

“Yours,” he said, frowning slightly, clasping his hands together as though to restrain some emotion he didn’t want to feel. “With you.”

“And you’re sure it’s not my world you’re in?”

His nod was punctuated by a burst of wind that threw the rain against the window in a machine-gun attack. “I remember more, this time. There are others with me. We live in a city called Necropolis. Uh, you know of any city on Earth that goes by a name like that?”

Kate almost laughed. “Necropolis. Wouldn’t that be like, ‘City of the Dead’?”

“So I’m told,” he said with a sigh.

“Can you take me there? Now, in the dream?” Kate whispered.

He walked toward her, slowly, without answering. When he reached her, he took both of her hands in his. His eyes burned with an intensity she’d never seen before. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed through the room, shaking the windows and startling her. She jumped and Will pulled her tight against him. When the momentary blindness cleared, he tilted her chin up to look into his face. His touch was as electric as the storm. Chills scurried through her and her face felt electric from his fingers. Her heart pounded against her chest, against him, he was holding her so tight.
Maybe he
is
a demon?
she heard herself wondering far down inside her head. Instead of scaring her, the possibility only increased the thrill of being held up to his body like he was afraid she’d slip away.

“It’s a place of half-light, of endless mines where many slave away to build the city for the overlord. It sounds like a nightmare, silly even, except that it’s real. And I don’t know if I can take you there, Kate,” he said quietly. “But I know that if you don’t come for me, somehow, this may be the last time I ever hold you.”

“No,” she said. 

He kissed her. His lips were as soft as rose petals in the sunlight. Their warmth spread through her like a desert breeze. Kate had never been kissed so gently, so humbly, in her life. Even his tongue was hesitant as it moved slowly, carefully into her mouth. Before the kiss could cross over to ravaging, he pulled away and glided his lips over her cheeks, her jaw line, moving to her neck. Each flutter of his lips and nick of his tongue turned her body into a lightning rod. Kate was lit up from within.

The candlelight guttered in a sudden burst of wind outside the room, as though the window panes had broken and the storm raged inside the room with them. Thunder crashed, lightning blossomed and illuminated the room. Will kissed her collarbone, and pushed the neck of her shirt down over her shoulder, caressing her skin with the tips of his fingers. His mouth moved over the jagged edge of her shoulder where the bone protruded. The roaring in her abdomen for him increased at the sensation.

The storm outside was at its loudest, most tumultuous. Will stopped and glanced over his shoulder, seeming worried. When he turned back to look at her, Kate was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Whatever it was, it must have been bad for Will to cry. Kate was unsettled by it.

“Just a feeling,” he said. His breath was hot on her forehead. He tilted her back and put an arm under her legs to lift her up and carry her to the bed. He laid her down, then lay down beside her. His hand moved beneath her shirt, touching her stomach so tenderly. The tears were still in his eyes, and instead of wanting to make love to him, she wanted to know why he was crying.

“Tell me why you’re upset,” she said, touching the side of his face.

“The storm—it worries me. Kiss me, Kate, don’t talk, just let me hold you,” he leaned toward her and stopped her from speaking with his mouth on hers. The action became fervent, passionate, as though he was trying to overwhelm something—his thoughts, Kate’s inquiries, the storm outside.

Something was happening. Kate’s fingers began to slip through him, as though he were dissolving.

“Will! Will, what’s happening? I can’t touch you!” Her eyes widened, Kate grasped at a mist that only resembled Will.

“Kate,” he said, his voice fading as his image dissipated and dispersed like fog in the rain.

“Will!” she shouted, standing up on the bed. She spun around, looking for him in the room, but all that was left were the candles, the shadows, and the storm outside. “Will!” She gave one last yell, suddenly feeling cold and alone. Abandoned. Was this how it felt when Kate was the first to go? Or when she went, did he always go too?

She slipped off the bed and went to the bay window. Outside the tempest raged on, angry, violent, like it was livid about something. She must be dreaming, she thought and laughed darkly at the thought. Kate was giving an inanimate atmospheric event emotions. Dreaming for sure.

She was hollow inside and the dream and their room was an empty shell without Will to give it life. He had been upset, as though he knew something bad was going to happen. And he wouldn’t show her where he was living, almost as though he was afraid to let her see it. Afraid. Or embarrassed.

Or maybe he was incapable of taking her there.

Part 2

“Now thro’ the noiseless throng their way they bend,

And both with pain the rugged road ascend;

Dark was the path, and difficult, and steep,

And thick with vapours from the smoaky deep.”

Ovid,
The Metamorphoses

22: Taking Chances

Malcolm was once again pushing Kate to climb lead on a route that he was “freaking positive” she could do, and Kate’s performance anxiety was in full force. Nervous energy bloomed like a creeping vine in her gut as she stared at the route. She found herself more than a little pissed that her handicap cropped up while out climbing with boys—who she wanted to impress—but it never bothered her during a gig. So far.

“Come on Kate, I’ve seen this one done before by chicks who were half the climber you are. You have it in the bag. Look, Ty will totally have you covered. He’s the best damn belayer this side of Yosemite,” Malcolm was saying as she stood there fidgeting with the belt of her harness and shaking her head to indicate that she wasn’t keen on the idea. He wanted to attach the rope to Kate for a lead climb. No one else had done it yet. They’d been here an hour in which they set up their tents at the campground and then drove along some dirt roads to the area to tackle a few routes.

“What, so you’re saying there are better belayers in California? Ha!” Ty responded from beside Kate. He’d just buckled up his harness. “Anyway, lay off, Mal. You hate it when people pressure you to do climbs you don’t feel up to, don’t do it to her.”

Audra sat on a boulder, sunning herself while the rest of them prepared for the climbing. The drive down had been mostly fine, except that Kate had been a captive audience for Malcolm’s tales about climbing in exotic locales like Thailand, Japan, France, the coast of Scotland, and elsewhere, and the beautiful women he met in all those places. Kate wondered to herself if it was some strange strategy, bragging about previous conquests in order to impress Audra. Kate had seen the way he looked at her friend. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he was into her in some odd way. Audra remained quiet during his stories. Kate glanced at her friend occasionally in the sun-visor mirror to see how she was taking it, but Kate couldn’t read the other girl’s expression. Audra kept her face turned toward the window.

At the moment Audra was eating a piece of red licorice and using her gear bag as a pillow. Kate couldn’t see Audra’s eyes through her dark tinted sunglasses, but Kate got the impression she was not into being left to climb with Malcolm while Ty and Kate did a route.
But then why did she come?
Kate wondered with a sigh and turned to Ty.

“What’s wrong?” He squinted and a line appeared between his eyes. He went on in a low voice, “Kate, are you all right? You haven’t seemed like yourself for the past two days.”

Kate laughed but it sounded hollow, even to her. “Yeah, I’m great. For sure.”

“Look, you don’t have to lead this. You don’t ever have to lead, you know? I know plenty of climbers who aren’t in it for the conquest of leading. They just want to enjoy the sport of it. If that’s you, I’m totally cool with it.”

Malcolm walked away in a huff as though his coaching wasn’t appreciated, moving along the edge of the wall to locate other routes. His left hand trailed along the slick, red sandstone as he moved. Audra continued to seem tuned out.

Kate flashed Ty a reassuring smile. “I’ve led tons of climbs. I just . . . I get nervous. That’s all. It’s nothing.”

“I’m sorry about Mal,” Ty said. He attached the rope to his harness, obviously under the impression that he’d be leading. Kate hadn’t decided yet, exactly, but she felt pretty sure she didn’t want to do this one. The thought of falling . . . she shivered. That last fall had done something to her confidence. Her shoulder still ached dully from time to time from where she slammed into the wall.

“I can handle Malcolm. He’s fine. Just thinks everyone’s on the same page as him, I guess,” she said. She was certain she wasn’t going to lead it, she decided. No. Nope. No way. She’d probably fall. And besides, since the last dream with Will, the one where he vanished, she hadn’t had any more dreams with him and she felt totally lost. Hadn’t felt like herself in two days. Not the best circumstances to try scurrying up a dangerous cliff face.

On the other hand, she did feel slightly suicidal. Seeing Will every night had become habitual. The dreams with him, the exploration, the connection she felt to him and yes, the sex, were all feeding her emotional health. Kate needed him. Had grown to rely on him. He disappeared and she hadn’t seen him since.

“Kate, you know you can lead this. Sorry, I’m not trying to push you, I know how much you hate that. But I know your climbing skills, your style, your moves. You can do it,” Audra said from her lizard-like perch on the rock. Kate glanced at her. She was sitting up with her knees pulled into her chest. She’d taken off her Chacos and her sunglasses were on top of her head. Her green eyes flickered in acknowledgment.

Kate tilted her head back and looked up the rock face. She couldn’t see the chains at the top of the route but she knew they were about fifty feet up. There were several cracks along the route, but most of the holds looked like small pinchers and tiny ledges. Old chalk dusted where other hands had been.

Kate lowered her eyes to watch Ty getting ready to climb. She liked him. She did. But Will was gone. He’d abandoned her. Kate felt off-center. Maybe overcoming this fear would center her. Maybe Kate could do something hard and impossible like this and get back her locus of control.

“OK,” Kate said, exchanging a glance with Audra. She nodded and grinned, obviously feeling like she swayed Kate, something that she loved to do. The girl loved to play God when she could.

“OK?” Ty repeated, sounding excited. “You’re going to lead it?”

“Yes, I’ll try it,” Kate said.

“Great! Let’s tie you up,” he said. Red spots flared across his cheeks, “I mean, in a purely non-S&M way, that is. Uh, connect you to the rope.”

Audra laughed and Malcolm returned and asked her what was so funny. Kate shook her head. Before she had too long to think about the implications of Ty’s accidental innuendo, he had attached a bunch of quickdraws to Kate’s harness with sharp clicking noises as the gates of the carabiners flipped open and snapped shut, double-checked the knots by running his fingers over them and tugging on the ropes, and then he was slapping Kate on the butt.

“Stick a fork in you, you’re done, Princess. Time to climb!”

“You’re going to lead it?” Malcolm asked, astounded.

“Yes,” Kate said, as she found starting footholds on the rock. She positioned her hands on the two obvious beginning holds and took a deep breath. She glanced down at her harness belt and checked again to make sure she had enough quick-draws. Kate’s heart rate thundered along and she could feel the juice in her veins making her slightly jittery.

“Nice, Kate! You’re going to do great,” Malcolm said encouragingly. He even clapped a couple times. She felt an appreciative glow appear in her chest. However much pressure he put on her, she couldn’t fault him for not being a good cheerleader. Kate checked over her shoulder to make sure Ty had a grip on the belay end of the rope.

“Ty, on belay?” Kate asked.

“On belay!” he yelled, his eyes glittering in amusement.

“Climbing,” she said, feeling stupid, even though normally people shouted those words to get pumped up.

“Climb on!” Ty yelled.

Kate stood there for a minute, hesitating. 

“Your move next, Kate,” Ty said quietly after she didn’t do anything for a minute or so.

Everyone became silent. Kate heard a bird screech in the distance and the rattling sound of a gentle breeze through the desert yuccas growing on the side of the hill below them. She took a deep breath, catching the smell of dust and earth on the air, and transferred her weight to the rock wall. She reached for the next hold but her foot slipped and she’d fallen already.