A Borrowed Life (Carly and Liam #1) (36 page)

“I'm sorry I ever met you right now! I don't ever want to see you again and don’t you dare call me when you realize how big of an asshole you’ve been!”

I detect panic rising in him, but it's too late; the damage is already done. I storm out of the room and leave his apartment, leaving the key on the small table at the entrance so I can never to return.

I take the bus to go home, unable to hold back the tears flowing down my cheeks. People around look at me and I couldn't care less. Nothing matters anymore and I don't care about anything. I just want to leav
e
or run away so far from him that I will never have to see him, hear his name, or think of him again. But I could run for weeks and it wouldn't change anything. I would have to tear out my heart to forget about him.

I push open the door of my apartment, noticing the absence of the horrible, Coca-Cola bottle-shaped clock that belonged to Sean. Him moving out doesn’t make this day any easier. I need him to be there to make me laugh, or to help me get my mind off everything. Or even just to see my brother emerge from the kitchen with a bag of chips to join him in the living room. But I'm alone.

I take a jar of ice cream from the freezer and sit in front of the TV. There is nothing interesting playing. I flip from channel to channel until a knock sounds on my door. I leap to my feet, praying inwardly that it's Liam. But when I open the door, I see Ethan who gives me a sympathetic look before holding me in his arms.

“Hey, how are you?” he worries.

I show him my spoon of ice cream that he pulls out of my hands.

“How did you know?” I ask.

“Liam called me.”

“Really? What did he say?”

“That you two had broken up. He wanted someone to make sure you were safely home.”

I sigh.

“What happened?” he inquires, joining me in the living room.

“He accused me of stealing documents for Richard. Can you believe that?”

“Huh? Come on, Carly, you would never do that. He must know that.”

“Apparently not.”

“You must have misinterpreted him. He looked devastated when I talked to him.”

“Liam? Devastated? Now, it's you who are misinterpreting.”

“A man doesn't need to cry. He might not be indulging in ice cream, wrapped in a blanket, watching crappy shows. And yes, he's probably at work right now, and he'll be there again this evening, and tonight. But not because of the crisis that his business is going through; it’s just so he doesn't think about you.”

“I thought you didn't like him?”

“That's true, but I know that he loves you.”

I shake my head.

“Not enough to stop me.”

The words just came out. In fact, I think that's what hurts the most. He hasn't even tried to hold me back or convince me I was making a mistake. He let me walk out of his life as if the world wouldn’t turn upside down; as if as soon as I walked out the door, everything would be back at normal for him. But me…I don't know where I am anymore.

Ethan stays with me a moment and I snuggle into his arms. His cell phone rings.

“Hello?...Yes, she's home. I'm with her…Okay. Goodbye!”

He hangs up. I don't want to know. The minutes pass without me asking him who it was, and Ethan breaks the silence.

“He worries, you know.”

“So?”

“If he didn't feel anything for you, he wouldn't even be thinking of you right now.”

I don't answer and I continue to watch television.

The night falls and Ethan stretches out. He has to leave, and I have to admit, it's already late and he almost spent the whole day with me, even if I really wasn't good company.

“I have to go now,” he announces.

I nod and then his eyes fall on the necklace I forgot to remove.

“That’s nice.”

I take it off.

“Liam gave it to me.”

“Do you want me to give it back to him?” he proposes.

I frown.

“When will you see him?”

He takes a deep breath as if he was about to tell me something I didn't want to hear.

“The timing is bad, I know.”

“Ethan?”

He looks down. “I didn't want to tell you before because I wasn't sure it would work.”

“What? Tell me!”

“I was admitted to a college.”

“Are you serious! That's awesome! When did you find out?”

“This morning. Liam told me.”

“Oh. Is he paying for it?”

I don't like it at all! But Ethan shakes his head.

“No. He put me in touch with the dean and I had a meeting. I was able to pass some tests and get a scholarship. I didn't want to owe anything to anyone and Liam understood that.”

“Is it far from here?”

“In Baltimore.”

I want to jump for joy and cry at the same time. That’s very far away!

“I have to leave in two days if I want to start the next semester on time.”

Another person who is dear to me walking out of my life. It feels as if everything is slowly falling apart around me. But I don't have the right to be so selfish. Ethan sacrificed everything to protect me ten years ago; this is the reward and he has a second chance to have a decent life and future.

I put the necklace in his hand.

“So you'll return it to him?”

He nods. Then he holds me in his arms.

“I'll call you every day.”

“You better!”

“Hey,” he says, taking my shoulders in his hands. “Stay strong, okay? I know that you will get through this. Live one day at the time and one morning you'll wake up and realize that the worst is behind you and that you're ready to move on.”

“You think?”

“How do you think I do it?”

I let out a chuckle. Yes, my brother is an expert in breaking up, but until now I never thought it affected him in the least. Who knows, maybe he'll finally meet a serious woman at college who will keep his attention for more than two months?

I lie back down on the couch. I have no desire to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about the damn cruise that ruined my life! Oh how I regret it now!

The days pass and a routine settles in my life. I eat breakfast alone, I don’t talk to anyone, and I don't want to see anyone. I work and I can't even smile. I have no interest in anything. A week has passed and I don't feel better at all. It's gotten worse, actually. According to a tabloid, Liam attended a gala with Desiree yesterday. A picture of them talking and laughing at a table was pictured on the front page. He has moved on without too much difficulty. I probably wasn't so special in the end.

“Oh, that's enough!” Liv complaints when she sees me scrubbing the table.

“What?”

“You've washed the same table three times in fifteen minutes.”

“The restaurant is empty. I’m just trying to stay busy.”

“I don't want to see you moping around because of that bastard anymore! Forget him and move on, that's the only thing to do.”

“It sounds so easy when you say it.”

“It’s easier than you think.”

“In that case, go ahead and enlighten me.”

She looks at me while thinking a little too much; this never ends well. And there it is, this sparkling look that tells me I really should worry. She walks to the bar where she speaks with the bartender. I shrug and continue my cleaning. If Cayden finds me doing nothing, he'll kill me for sure.

Suddenly, loud music breaks through the speakers, and Liv's voice mixes with it. I turn to see her singing into a karaoke microphone. I burst out laughing because she is a horrible singer. I recognize the song as one I heard in the movie Coyote Ugly, when the bartender dances on the bar. Liv puts one foot on a stool, then a second, and then gets on the bar while continuing to sing.

“
All she wants to do is dance! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!
”

I laugh even harder. She is doing it on purpose and it’s working. Bailey takes me with both hands and lifts me up next to her on the bar. The bartender hands me a microphone.

“Come on, you're not going to let me sing alone!” Liv begs me.

“No way!”

Bailey climbs on the bar with us and makes my hips sway with his hands. When the movement comes naturally to me, he puts the microphone over my mouth and the words come by themselves.

“
All she wants to do is! All she wants to do is dance!
”

The other waitresses join us and climb on the bar to sing with us. Suddenly, the music stops and I jump. Cayden stands behind us, staring at us sternly. I feel small in my shoes now!

“Don't worry. He can't punish us all, he'd be short of staff for the evening.”

“Everyone back at work!” he demands.

“Oh, I think
someone
had an argument with his girlfriend,” Liv presumes.

“And we're the ones who will pay for it,” I finish.

She shrugs, noting that at least the pay is worth it.

“Carly! In my office!” he barks when I get off the bar.

I sigh and I give the microphone back to the bartender.

“It will be your turn after, Sawyer!” he points at Liv with his finger.

I follow him in his office. I almost hope to be fired. I hate this job more than ever, and I hate him, too. Cayden sits in his chair, taking a blue satchel from his desk.

“Sit down,” he orders.

I sit on the chair in front of him as he opens his notebook.

“We're on your third strike, Carly,” he announces.

“What? When was the second?”

“Two days ago. The salad, remember.”

“You can't blame me for that, it wasn't my fault! I wasn't even the one who took it to the customer!”

“It was your table, and your responsibility. The lady found a living bug in it after eating half of it! It cost me a full meal for her and all of her friends.”

“But you can’t blame me for it!”

“Don't argue, Carly! I'm willing to overlook it.”

I almost dread the conditions he will propose for this. He stretches behind him and presses the play button on his DVD player, and I see a surveillance camera showing the back room. I frown, not understanding where he's going with this. I wait. Nothing happens at all.

“This is my favorite part,” he says when I appear in the picture with Liam.

I hold my breath. In the video, I step backwards, swaying sensually, and Liam walks towards me as I take my shirt off. I can't believe I was so careless! I didn’t think of the surveillance cameras at all when I let Liam take me in the back room.

“Come for me, baby,” I hear him say, leaning between my legs.

I start crying; not only because these images are incredibly painful to watch, but because I suddenly remember why I love this man so much, and realize I'll never be able to live without him. Cayden looks at these images with a vulgar look. He disgusts me!

“You have no idea how many times I’ve watched it and touched myself,” he lets me know.

“Go to hell! I quit!” I yell, leaping to my feet.

“You don't really want to do that, Carly. Believe me.”

“And why not?”

“Because I have the means to prevent you from finding work if I wanted to. I want you here in my restaurant, and now that this dear Liam is no longer a problem, I'm planning to get what I want.”

He takes the DVD between his fingers.

“What would Mr. Walker say if this video was to be on the internet? Do you sincerely think he'll believe that you didn't know about the cameras? And believe you didn't do it on purpose?”

I slam the door as I walk out, grab my jacket and leave in a hurry. I'm furious and have no intention of letting this asshole treat me like this. I've had enough and I'm leaving! I don't care what happens anymore!

“Carly!” Liv shouts after me before I walk outside. “What happened?”

“I quit, that's what happened! Goodbye, Liv. Good luck!”

“Are you serious? Tell me you know what you're doing?”

“No,” I confess crying. “But I have no other choice. This can't go on. I'm at my wit's end.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself and call me tonight, okay?”

“Promise!”

I walk to my house because I need to vent the aggression rising in me. In fact, I would run if I could. Suddenly, I notice a black car that’s been following me for a few minutes now. I walk quickly along the boulevard. I wasn’t really paying attention before, but it's been behind me for a while.

I continue my way up to a traffic light where the car gets stuck and I sneak through the alleys, just in case. I get home a few minutes later and lock the door behind me. It's a reflex now since Sean's gone. I don't feel very safe in this building alone. I remove my jacket and hang it in the closet before going to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I freeze. My face turns white and my breathing stops.

“What are you doing here?” I ask the man before me.

Richard Lexington looks threatening as he approaches me.

“You know, you're beginning to cause me a lot of trouble,” he says.

I step back as he advances towards me.

“I absolutely don't know what you mean.”

“Your boyfriend started playing with my nerves and my patience has its limits,” he growls.

“I don't have a boyfriend.”

“That's what they say. But Mr. Walker won’t seem to let go of you.”

“I haven't talked to him in a week.”

“That’s not enough anymore!”

“What more can I do?”

My back bangs against the wall behind me and Richard continues to move forward. He grabs a lock of my hair in his hand.

“You have the same hair as your mother. She, too, was very pretty, but stubborn!”

“What?”

The hatred he shows when speaking of her almost makes me fear for the worst.

“She would still be alive if she hadn't wanted to play with me.”

I can no longer breathe or move.

“Richard, I swear I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Mr. Walker seems convinced that I have threatened you.”

I don't know how to answer that. I wouldn't have expected Liam just to go tell that to Mr. Lexington. How could he? I'm scared and I'm shaking, and my heart is beating at full speed.

“Is it true? Did I threaten you?”

I shake my head. “No.”

My voice is quivering and filled with repressed tears.

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. I hate lies.”

Suddenly, he punches into my stomach and I scream, trying to suppress the pain and recover my breath. I press my hands against my ribs and fold in two. Tears run down my cheek and I'm terrified. He bends down to grab my trembling face.

“I hope I'm making myself clear,” he threatens.

I nod.

“I can become very nasty, Carly.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Disappear!”

I pin myself against the wall. I don't understand what he means by that.

“I never want to see you or hear from you. And no one is to know where you’re going.”

“Why? What's in it for you? You've already won!”

He grabs my throat between his firm and threatening grip and throws my head against the wall. I close my eyes crying, trying to handle the pain.

“Because if I see you again, I swear I won't give you a second chance! And you can be sure that if Liam still attacks my company, it will end badly!”

“I have no control over what Liam does,” I try to let him know despite my vocal cords being crushed under his palm.

“You're the reason he is attacking me,” he says, releasing me.

“And you think that if I disappear he will leave you alone?”

“He'll quickly find another hobby or another woman to satisfy, and you'll be ancient history.”

“He must seriously scare you for you to come up here and go after me.”

“Don't push your luck, Carly,” he threatens.

He puts a wad of cash on the counter before walking away.

“That should be enough for you to start anew, far away. Oh, and I forgot! Make sure Liam doesn't find you, it will be better for him. And same goes for dear Ethan who has recently moved to Baltimore, and your best friend Liv who walks home late at night and walks through a busy intersection.”

I look into his eyes, understanding that he's very serious, so I nod in agreement. He leaves my apartment and I stay rooted, trembling and in shock. I can barely digest the latest events. I'm considering the money he left on the counter and it suddenly becomes very tempting. Starting all over again, far from here, away from him. Before me, I see my reflection in the mirror and I hate it.

I grab scissors from the kitchen drawer and I turn to the mirror again, clutching my hair in my left hand before cutting it about shoulder length. The sides aren't equal at all. In fact, the cut is awful, but I'll fix it once I'm far away. For now, what matters is that nobody recognizes me.

I put on an old sweatshirt forgotten by my brother and a red baseball cap buried in the bottom of my wardrobe. I pack most of my things in a simple bag and I give up everything else. It would be too easy to trace a moving truck. I did it once, and I can do it again. I will disappear, leave everything behind, and start all over again; it worked well the first time. It will be better this time!

I get on the first bus that stops at the bus stop without having the slightest idea where it is going to take me. I don't care! I don't even know where I want to go. I still tremble with fear and watch all around me, making sure I'm not being followed by Mr. Lexington's men. He, too, won't know where I am, and he'll never be able to threaten me or attack me again.

Since the route promises to be long, I take the time to leave a brief message for Liv and Ethan. I don't tell them much, only that the time has come for me to experience something different. I ask them not to be angry at me and not to look for me before hanging up in tears.

They will miss me, but I have to be strong. I can't allow myself to think about the fact that I'll never see them again. I lean my head against the window and watch Jersey City unfold before my eyes. I think back to that girl I was there just a few weeks ago. Innocent, cheerful, and light. Nothing will ever be the same.

To be continued...