A Breath of Heaven: El Camino Real (8 page)

He kissed her over and over – tenderly.
Cherishing her. Celebrating the fact that they were both alive and she was in
his arms where she belonged.

Finally, Cade lowered his head, panting,
closing his eyes as if he was suffering. “If you’d died…if you’d been hurt…”

“We both could have died.” She laid her
head on his shoulder, the wonder of being held in his embrace almost more than
she could process. Abby felt as if she was losing her grip on reality. “It’s
simple. I saved you. You saved me. And I thank you for it. We’re even, both
alive and well. So, let’s just forget it.” She pulled out of his arms, knowing
she had to, grasping the sheet to maintain her modesty.

“Abby, wait.”

She started toward the door, stepped on
the sheet and nearly fell. “Dang it,” Abby muttered. Coordinated she was not. 

“Grace.” He tried to joke, but there was
an underlying wistfulness in his tone that wasn’t lost on Abby.

Abby shot him a half amused look of longing,
and tried to smart off, lightening the mood. “That’s my name. I hope you froze
your balls off.”

“Wait.” Cade’s voice was quiet, but
strong.

There was an air of authority in his tone,
but a hesitancy also – as if he were waiting for permission to do more. All of
that flashed through Abby’s mind, but she rejected it for wishful thinking.
“Wait? For what? Do you want to castigate me some more for caring enough to
save your sorry ass?” She wasn’t doing too good of a job acting nonchalant
either. God, she wished she understood what was going on. Maybe the icy water
had affected her brain.

“I’m tired of pussyfooting around,
Abilene.” He started unbuttoning his shirt. “It’s time.”

Her eyes watched his fingers as they moved
on the material, she couldn’t breathe. “What do you mean? Pussyfooting around
what?” Abby was scared to assume anything.

“I want you.” He swept his eyes from the
top of her unkempt hair to the pool of sheet at her feet. “I want you in my
bed, in my arms and I want to be as deep inside of you as I can get.”

A blaze of heat and need swept over Abby’s
body like a flash fire. This big, perfect, infuriating man wanted her. And she
wanted him. More than anything.

But, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. “I
gotta go, Cade. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

And she left without looking back.

“Well, hell.” Cade threw his hat to the
floor. He didn’t understand women and he guessed he never would – and this one
woman was going to kill him.

* * *

Abby dragged a big pasteboard box out of
the closet. It was marked in gay red and green markings. All of the Christmas
decorations she’d accumulated over the years were carefully packed away waiting
to be brought out year and year. She didn’t know why she went to so much
trouble to decorate when she lived alone. After all, the big family celebration
would take place up at the main house. Feeling nostalgic, she sat down on the
floor and started pulling out ornaments and figurines. All of her life she’d
collected figures of Santa Claus – dolls, statues, some almost as big as she
was. None of those all white and ice blue color themes for her. Abby loved red
and green. Old fashioned pine cones with bows and glitter. Sleighs and snowmen.
Reindeer and elves. Abby smiled, touching the memories, holding symbols of hope
in her hand.

Dreams died hard. There would be no
children gathered around her tree, no special one to cuddle with in front of
the fire. She’d always wanted a family, a husband and children. But that dream
wasn’t going to come true.

When she was nineteen, the fire happened
and everything in her life and future changed.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Abby
lay back on the floor, clutching a holiday teddy bear. Remembering….

Only Abby, Justice and Cade had been home.
Everyone else had gone to Austin to the UT game to watch Shiloh play football.
She’d come home from college for Chelsea Turner’s baby shower. Justice was
holding down the fort and Cade was packing up to go out on the circuit. He’d
qualified for the NFR for the first time. The whole family had been thrilled
for him, even Abby – although she knew she was going to miss him like crazy. At
the time, he was on the fast track to becoming one of the best steer wrestlers
and team ropers in the state. As tears ran down Abby’s face, she went back in
time…

“Cade! I’m going to miss you.” Abby threw
herself in Cade’s arms. She loved him so. Even though he lived with them as
family, she loved him as that and so much more. Abby worshiped the ground he
walked on.

“Shortcake.” He cradled her to him. “I’m
going to miss you too.” He kissed her temple, and she clung to him.

“When will you be home?”

Cade touched her face reverently, gazing
into her eyes. “I’ll be back for Christmas. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Something was different. Abby trembled. He
was staring at her mouth. She licked her lips. “I’ll make your favorite cookies
for you, like always.”

He lowered his head. She lifted hers, her
lips parting.

“I love sweets. I need some sugar now. May
I?”

Denying him never crossed her mind.
Kissing Cade was a dream come true. She’d never kissed anyone else. Abby had
saved herself for this man, for this moment. “Yes, please.” Standing on tiptoe,
she met his kiss and the joining of their lips was nothing less than perfect.
Shivers of absolute bliss flooded her soul.

“Cade!” Justice’s voice broke the spell.
“Dad called and said for you to get your father’s spurs from the attic in the
barn. They’ll be good luck for you.”

They pulled apart and Cade smiled at her.
“Will do.” he answered Justice, then he leaned his forehead against hers. “When
I come back, I want to take you out on a date. Will you say ‘yes?’

“Yes.” Abby didn’t hesitate. Why would
she? There was nothing or no one Abby wanted more than Cade. “I’ll be waiting
for you.”

“Abby!” Justice called from inside. “Mom’s
on the phone. She wants to talk to you.” Apparently Justice was still chatting
with the folks.

Cade seemed reluctant to go. He kissed her
on the cheek once more. “I guess I should go get those spurs. They’re packed
back in a box in the loft, I think. I hope I can find them. Crockett is picking
me up in a few minutes, but I’ll make sure to say bye before I go.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.” She stood and
watched him sprint toward the barn. Abby touched her lips. He’d kissed her.
Cade was so perfect. She placed her hand over her pounding heart. This was it,
the beginning of her perfect life.

Only it hadn’t turned out to be so
perfect.

Justice turned the phone over to her, glad
to make his escape. Their mother could talk forever. Abby listened to her mom
expound on everything from Shiloh’s new girlfriend to a pair of shoes she’d
found at Barton Creek Mall. Abby was polite, but her mind was on Cade. She
needed to go. He might be waiting on her. When at last she could make her
escape, Abby flew out to the porch. Almost immediately, she knew something was
wrong. She could hear horses whinnying and stomping. And then she smelled
smoke. The barn was on fire! And Cade was inside of it! She knew he was,
because he hadn’t come to tell her good-bye.

“God, no! Fire! Fire!” she’d screamed over
and over. Justice yelled, but he sounded far away. Knowing there was no time to
waste. Abby ran for the barn, threw open the door and a wall of smoke hit her
in the face.

“Cade! Cade!” she screamed. As she ran
toward the back, Abby released the stall doors one by one. The horses ran madly
for the barn door. One of them knocked her down, but she rolled to one side,
still screaming Cade’s name.

“Abby!” It was Justice. He came barreling
into the inferno. Fire was lapping at the sides and rushing across the ceiling.
“Get out of here!” He grabbed her by the arm, but she pulled away. “I’ll get
the rest. You head out!” he screamed at her.

Assuming she’d obey, he made sure the
other horses were freed and headed in the right direction. Crackling and
popping, flying embers and intense waves of heat mixed with choking smoke made
everything seem like an insurmountable task.

“Cade!” Abby screamed, heading for the
loft. She was sobbing, the loft was consumed in a curtain of fire. “Cade!”

“He’s not in here, Abby!” Justice yelled.
“Get out!”

“No, he’s here. I saw him come in!” She
made a wild, frantic dash toward the back. “He may be in the loft or in the
office. I have to find him!”

“He’s already gone, Abby!” Justice was
frantic. “Please!” He made another grab at her, but she tore away again. And
then all hell broke loose. There was a loud, shattering noise and the roof
collapsed. A massive beam fell, knocking Abby down and landing across her lower
abdomen and upper thighs. It was smoldering, red with intense heat. Liquefied
creosote oil made the burning wood as consuming as lava. Abby screamed in
agony, “Cade!”

Justice would later say it was the most
pitiful horrifying sound he’d ever heard, Abby screaming for Cade over and over
again. He’d fought to get the beam off her, but it had lain atop her too long,
doing its damage, burning through her clothes and ravishing her flesh, right
over the place that made her a woman.

Blessedly, Abby passed out.

The firemen arrived. The horses were safe.
Justice escaped with minor injuries to his hands, face and arms. But Abby was
left with second and third degree burns below her waist. Her parents rushed to
her side, frantic with worry. She was taken to the hospital in Houston, in
extreme pain. But worse than the burns was the sad truth of her diagnosis. When
she heard the doctors lamenting about the location of her wounds and the extent
of her injuries, she’d begged her mother not to tell anyone the details. Her
mother understood. Abby’s thighs, mons, and abdomen would be scarred. She’d
have years of surgeries and skin grafts ahead of her, and even at that, the
doctors told her she would always bear the mark of what she’d endured. Plastic
surgery could only do so much in severe cases like this.

Of the brothers, only Justice knew the
full truth. When he’d come to Abby, she’d been medicated but she knew enough to
swear him to secrecy. There was no way she ever wanted Cade to know she’d been
burned in a frantic attempt to find him in the blaze.

Only later did she find out his ride,
Crockett, had arrived earlier than expected. His friend had been in a hurry, so
Cade hadn’t been able to come tell her goodbye as he had promised. So, Abby’s
assumption he’d still been in the barn had been wrong.

When Cade learned she’d been hurt, he’d
called. Abby had talked to him, but she’d flat-out lied. With his schedule and
her being away at school, she was able to hide the truth of her condition from
him and the younger brothers. If it was up to her, she never wanted them to
know. She didn’t want their pity. It had taken almost two months, but Abby had
got on her feet again and she was able to go home for Christmas.

When she and Cade saw one another again,
everything had changed. Despite his efforts to pick up where they’d left off,
Abby avoided him, not answering his questions nor allowing him even one moment
to be alone with her. She could tell all of this hurt him. He assumed she was
no longer interested, that she’d moved on, found someone else, decided a
half-breed boyfriend was not to her liking, when nothing could have been
further from the truth. Abby pretended not to care, when she’d really been
dying inside, knowing her life would never be the same.

Months of hospital stays, surgeries and
skin grafts had done their best, but even now there still were scars. Her
parents and Justice knew how severe they were, but no one else did. Because
she’d never shown anyone and she had no intention of baring herself. The scars
were still too ugly for words. And that was why she didn’t date, that was why
she could never marry. That was why she couldn’t have Cade. All her hopes and
dreams and fantasies were now ashes.

Over time, their relationship had evolved.
Cade and Abby kept their distance, allowing themselves only minimum contact.
Never saying what they were truly feeling. Honesty was sacrificed and hid
behind a veil of sarcasm. The family didn’t understand. Cade didn’t understand
and Abby couldn’t explain – she just endured.

“Oh, Cade. What am I going to do?” Now he
seemed to think he wanted her, and God knows she wanted him. If there was one
thing that had come out of these nightmare nuptials of Jase and Pam’s, it was a
clarification of their own relationship. Since that fateful day, she and Cade
had snapped and fussed with one another because all of their pent-up energy and
emotion had to go somewhere. Since she’d rejected him again last night, he’d
disappeared. Abby presumed he was with one of her brothers, but he could have
left the ranch for all she knew. She wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.

Pushing herself off the floor, she carried
the box of decorations into the living room, pushing the sad memories from her
mind. Maybe tomorrow she could hunt a tree. Abby preferred a live tree instead
of an artificial one and there was a section of nice cedars over near the river
where the family had always harvested trees for Christmas. After the holiday
was over, they put them in one of the lakes for the fish to nest in. A chill
ran down her spine when she remembered Cade’s foot being lodged in one of the
old stumps in the lake. When her father had chosen places to open up the creeks
and dig ponds, the low-lying spots had been full of timber and large oaks. Now,
she didn’t know if she’d ever swim in the lake again. The idea of Cade dying
there was unfathomable.