A Brilliant Ride (18 page)

“Wow, Claudia is strong. She leaped over that chair like a horse.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty pumped up,” said Jackie raising one eyebrow.

I looked up. Claudia was standing in the doorway waving to me. “I’ll be right back,” I said and headed over.

She pulled me over to the Regal’s ballroom. “Pen, look, isn’t that the guy from the Shoe Department at Leighton’s?” I took a step in and braved a peek.

“Oh no!
” I held the wall.

It was Brilliant and Mother, along with the entire Manhattan Chapter of the DAR, dancing around the room chanti
ng something about woman power.

“What the heck?” I started to panic. “Charles, please come here immediately,” I called out to the Regal’s manger. “What is the meaning of this…tell me fast!”

“Yes, Mrs. Dupres, your mother called this morning and asked if we could accommodate her and the DAR for a Tai Chi class. Mr. Dupres approved it about an hour ago. Is there a problem?”

Suddenly my head ached.

“A problem...well, it’s a little unconventional, don’t you think?” I wrung my hands, remembering the Leighton’s episode. “I mean, since when does Regal Rock hold classes…Tai Chi? This isn’t the Community Center, for God’s sake. It’s a country club - bath and tennis, to be exact.” I felt my throat tightening. “What will the other members think?”

Charles straightened his tie and stared at me blankly.

My attention moved to Claudia; she was starting to sway back and forth, her eyes locked on Brilliant. “Um, Claudia, why don’t you go back to our table; I’ll be right there. I just want to have a word with Charles.”

“But, look Pen…I’m sure that’s the guy from the Shoe Department. What’s he doing here…with your mother?”

“Er, oh him? He’s my new decorator. You know...the one I told you about? He’s very artistic.”

“Huh?”

“Er, yes…he’s such a find. He’s sort of…avant garde.”

“So, he’s a decorator and a Tai Chi instructor?”

“He’s multi-talented.” I pulled on my collar. “He’s what you would call,
limitless
.”

“Well, he sure looks a lot like that guy from…”

“Could be; I’m not sure.” I cleared my throat.

“Mrs. Dupres,” Charles interrupted, “the other members are actually interested in the class becoming a weekly event here at Regal Rock. In fact, Mrs. Jackson is going to bring it up at the next Board Meeting.”

“Okay, Charles. Thank you.” I turned, feeling shaky. “Um, Claudia, I just want to have a little chat with Mother. I’ll meet you back at the table.” I gave her a little crooked smile.

“Okay,” she said shrugging. “But, I still think that’s the same guy…”

“Er…I’m not sure…I need to talk with Mother, see you back at the table,” I mumbled and entered the ballroom, fighting my way through the crowd of dancing DAR’s dressed in their designer yoga wear and pearls. “Yooohoooo, Mother…Mother!”

She finally saw me through the waving of limbs and floated over.

“Oh, there you are, my darling. Isn’t this
fabulous
? Your new decorator is just a complete delight…did you know he was a Tai Chi Master?”

“It doesn’t surprise me.”

“Yes, darling; you see we were all set to play bridge, but then Mr. Brilliant showed up and offered to treat us all to a free Tai Chi class! It’s fabulous darling, so
liberating
. You simply have to try it,” she said, arranging her body in a peculiar position. “We’re thinking of meeting here weekly. I checked with Sam, and he said it would be fine; it’s all so glorious!”

“He did?” The whole concept was mind boggling.

To my left, one of the women was practicing some kind of exaggerated bird like movement, while Brilliant was balancing on one knee with his hands clasped behind his back.

“This must be an advanced
class.” My eyes widened.

“Penelope, darling, Tai chi is very important. It gets the energy moving, you know, through the ass
orted energy points in the body. You simply must release energy blocks in order to restore vitality, promote healing, and ensure longevity. The Chinese do it daily…and they live
hundreds
of years.”

The thought of Mother
living that long was chilling.

“Daaaarling, it’s the best,” she explained in a sing-songy voice that was particularly annoying. Her outfit was jarring as well. She was wearing a neon pink tank top with matching yoga pants, petal pink ballet shoes, and a headband of tiny crystals wrapped around her forehead.

“There’s a code here, you know.”

“Oh, don’t be silly. It’s holistic.”

“I meant a dress code.”

“Yes, of course, my darling. You know, Penelope, you really should join us…it’s so invigorating,” she sang and glided back to the rest of the swaying DAR’s.

I pulled Brilliant aside. “What are you doing here?” I asked, pulling my hair. “I’m going to lose my membership if this keeps up. This is a very conservative…please move this somewhere else,” I pleaded.

“There you go again, Penelope,” he said grinning. “Loosen up a little.”

“If you’re a healing angel, why are you trying to
destroy me
…?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Why don’t you and your friends come in and try it. It’s better than popping pills and drinking adult beverages - both very toxic you know,” he twinkled. “This is so much healthier, and it will get rid of that knot you have at the back of your neck. I think your friend Claudia, in particular, would benefit greatly from some energy relief positions.” I stared at him, blankly.

“You see, Penelope, I’m trying to prepare you.”

“Prepare me for what?”

“For change; shifting.” He exhaled slowly.

“Brilliant, please stop talking in riddles.”

“My beautiful girl, you are going to be faced with challenges, and you have to be strong. You’re going to have to be able to bend when faced with the wind of change.”

“Huh?”

“Starting tonight, I’m going to be showing you some Tai Chi movements. I want you to promise to practice them every day, Penelope. It will release tension, move the energy around your body, and calm you. You really need to free yourself from negativity. Your body, mind and soul must work in harmony. Contemplate my words, child. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my lovely ladies. Oh and Penelope…”

“Yes?”

“Breathe.” He smiled brightly.

When I got back to the table, the girls were finishing up lunch while teasing Claudia about her new best friend, Debbie. I was exhausted, so. I made my excuses, kissed them all goodbye, and headed out.

“Wait, Pen, I’ll walk out with you.” Jackie took my arm.

As we approached the main door, she turned to me. “I’m happy you’re going to the beach house. I think it’s going to be great for you,” she said.

“Why?” I asked, wondering why it was so important to her.

“You just never get away, that’s all. You’re always doing for everyone, never refueling.”

She looked at me with big eyes, and I felt such a sadness coming from her. What was she trying to tell me?

“Be good to yourself, Pen, because in the end, it’s really just up to us. Just go for it…grab a little happiness when you can.”

“Jackie, what are you trying to tell me? Just come out with it, okay. What’s going on with you? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. There’s been something bothering you for weeks now. You didn’t really fall in the studio, did you?”

“It’s nothing, just the break-up with Teddy. Isn’t that enough? A marriage breaking up is hard to take, Pen. I’m not the hard dame everyone thinks I am; I have feelings too, you know.”

Her eyes welled up, and I was taken with her show of emotion, her vulnerability. I saw the child in her, an overlay of a sweet vulnerable child, longing for acceptance and love. The hard exterior and the carefully put together façade peeled away, revealing a softer side.

“I’ve known you a long time, Jackie. I know the break up with Teddy is hard, but I’ve been through a few breakups with you; it’s more than that. There’s something else going on. If you don’t want to share it with me that’s fine, but please know I’m here for you. If you want to talk, or if you need anything, just call me. Sometimes it helps to let it out and talk it through. That’s what friends are for,” I said and hugged her tightly. I felt her trembling and wished she would tell me what was obviously torturing her.

“I love you,” she said sweetly. “I can’t go into everything today, but I will. I promise.” She squeezed me again and left.

As I walked out the main entrance of the Regal Rock, two women were entering, both were wearing large beige turbans; each had a bold brooch pinned to the front. I laughed out loud, as they passed. Jackie should only know what a trendsetter she is.

“
Okay, this is it
,” Phyllis sang. “Yoga is going to absolutely
transform you
.” I gave her an icy stare.

“Look, you already pulled me into that tarot thing, and I’m already open to Tai Chi, but I’m not sure about yoga. I think I have to take things slowly...”

“Oh, knock it off. Yoga has been around for centuries. I mean it’s ancient.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

“Look, Pen, I’m really trying with you. Now listen, I’m going to take you to this really cool yoga class. It’s the best! Downward Facing Dog can work wonders.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“Just stop. It’s going to be fantastic. Yoga is the answer. A few days of stretching and kriyas….”

“There’s crying…!”

“Not crying…
kriyas
. Oh you’ll love them; they’re involuntary,” Phyllis chirped.

“Huh?”

“Who knows, if you stick with it, you might even awaken your
kundalini
!”

“Kunda-who?”

“Kun da lee nee…you know, it’s that curled up serpent at the base of your spine.” Phyllis smiled.

“I’m afraid of snakes...”

“Oh stop. It’s
Shakti
.”

“Who…?

“Oh…it’s simply electrifying!” Phyllis held her heart. “Look, Pen, don’t you want to be enlightened?”

“I’m having my doubts,” I said, rubbing my lower back.

“I can’t wait to introduce you to my yogi, Swami Yamalamarama. He’s famous.”

“I can see why.”

“Oh, why didn’t I think of this sooner” Phyllis narrowed her eyes. “Yoga has really changed my life, Pen. I mean, who needs comfort food when you can literally stretch yourself to bliss!”

I wasn’t impressed; after the Saffron episode and that Rolfing thing she took me to the week before, I wasn’t keen. But I was feeling adventurous, and Phyllis was whining at a high pitch, so I agreed to give it a try. Phyllis could hardly contain her glee.

“Fabulous!” she screeched, “but before you can start classes, I need to get you to Divine Goddess Spiritual Wear…pronto!”

The shop was
an eye opener. As soon as we stepped through the door, Phyllis urged me to purchase a pair of purple yoga pants with a matching spaghetti strap top. The sales girl, Aphrodite, suggested purple because, evidently, it’s the divine and magical color of the
Violet Flame Energy
. Well, who was I to question such an obviously enlightened being. Any fool could see she was in touch with her higher self. She was wearing an assortment of amethyst jewelry and smelled of exotic oils and herbs.

Phyllis couldn’t get her charge card out fast enough.

“I’m so excited, Pen. You’ll have your chakras spinning in no time. Now remember...it’s important they spin clockwise. You know, to rid yourself of toxic energy and raise your vibration.”

“Huh?”

“Oh yes. I spin mine twice a day,” she beamed.

“Er…I’ll keep that in mind.” I said and
grabbed my bags. “Come on, Phyllis. I can’t wait to get home and try this stuff on.”

“Now, you’re talki
ng,” said Phyllis, her eyes glowing. “Oh by the way, I’ve signed us up for a yoga retreat this afternoon. You’re gonna love it!”

“A retreat…for an afternoon?” my stomach dropped.

“Oh yes. It’s only a few hours long, but it’ll change your life. It’s downtown, at the Yamalamarama Meditation and Yoga Center. Honestly, Pen, once you bask in the energy of the guru, you’ll wonder how you lived without him.” She took a small photo out of her handbag. “Here, take this. Whenever your energy is low, just look at it. It’s downright healing.” She placed the photo in my hand and closed her eyes, exhaling loudly.

“What is this?” my eyes widened.

“It’s the guru!” she squealed. “Isn’t he divine?”

“Um…he’s definitely
unusual
, that’s for sure.” I said staring at the photo. It was a snapshot of a man dressed in what appeared to be a giant diaper. He had very long stringy hair, an even longer beard, wild eyes, a red dot pasted to the middle of his forehead, and from his neck, on a long gold chain, hung a diamond the size of Plymouth Rock.