A Chosen Destiny (The Samantha Project Series #3) (8 page)

“And what?” Colin stared at me, making me even more nervous.

“I don’t know. I guess I just wondered if maybe you weren’t so mad at me anymore.”

He took forever to respond. “I’m still mad at you, Sam. But I’m done yelling and stomping around.”

“But what does that mean? For us?”

“What are you getting at? Do you think we’re getting back together or something? Is that why you came in here?”
 

“No,” I said quietly. “But I miss you, Colin. And I
would
like to get back together.”

“So you think it’s that easy? I just found out you were pregnant, Sam.”

“But that was a lie! I’m not. I never was. I told you that.”

“It doesn’t matter. You obviously put yourself in a situation where you thought it might be possible.”

He looked at me to deny it.
 

“We didn’t have sex, Colin. Erik and I had some champagne that night. It made us really tired and we fell asleep.”

He rolled his eyes. “Then why did you believe it when they said you were pregnant?”

“Because we—” I stopped, thinking I probably shouldn’t tell him about Erik and me waking up naked in bed together. “It was all a setup, Colin. GlobalLife orchestrated the whole thing. And Rachel, this woman who works there? She had a part in it, too. But she was only trying to help. It’s a long story.”

He crossed his arms. “I have time. Let’s hear it.”

“Okay. Well, let me start by saying that when Erik and I were at GlobalLife, they said that there’s this software in our cells that’s programmed to make him and me—attracted to each other. Physically attracted to each other. We found this out a few days after the gala.”

I waited, thinking Colin would want to know more, but he showed no interest in the attraction software. Either that or he didn’t believe me.

“And the whole time we were held captive there, Erik and I had to stay in the same room,” I explained. “And then they made it super cold at night and I didn’t want Erik to have to sleep on the floor.”

“He could have slept on the floor,” Colin muttered. “Go on.”

“Then they made us take dance lessons and eat fancy meals together and dress up all the time.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sounds like torture.”

“Anyway, like I was saying, they told us that the software in us was created to make Erik and me want to be together. You know, physically.”

“And why would they make software that does that?”

“Because they wanted us to mate. That’s what they said. To mate. Like we were animals. Lab rats. They wanted us to have a baby because the baby would have our combined genes.”

“And you couldn’t say no?”

“We
did
say no, but they wouldn’t accept it. They said if we didn’t do things the natural way, they would intervene. We got out of there before we found out what that meant. Listen, Colin, after they explained about the software, I told Erik to leave me alone. I didn’t want GlobalLife manipulating us like that.”

“Let me get this straight. So you told Erik to back off
after
you found out about the software? But before that, you kept sleeping in the same bed with him every night and doing—whatever you two did? And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

It
did sound bad. I tried to explain. “I was confused, Colin. And I was scared that we’d never get out of there. I shouldn’t have done anything with him. I know that. But part of me was acting that way because of that stupid software. It explains at least some of what happened.”

“You
want
it to explain what happened! That way you don’t have to take any responsibility. Did you even hear yourself and all the excuses you used when you were telling me this?” Colin switched to a high-pitched voice. “The dancing, the fancy dinners, the clothes. I just couldn’t help myself. I
had
to have sex with Erik.”

I tried to stay calm. “First of all, I don’t sound like that. And second, Erik and I did not have sex.”

“Then tell me again, Sam. Why did you even believe their story and think you were pregnant?”

“I told you. Erik and I were really out of it that night. This woman, Rachel, put something in our champagne. I only had a glass and a half and I was wiped out. And so was Erik.”

“So you thought you might have somehow done it while you were sleeping? Yeah, like I’m gonna believe that, Sam.”

“Okay. Fine. The reason I believed it was because—. You really want to hear this?”

He waited for me to continue.

“It was the morning after the gala. I don’t know how it happened. Neither of us does. But, well, Erik and I woke up in bed together. Without our clothes.”
 

Colin didn’t get angry, at least not outwardly, which was almost worse than if he
had
gotten angry. At least if he’d expressed anger, I’d know what he was thinking. I considered reading his mind, but I didn’t want to. It would be wrong. And I’d already done enough things that were wrong.

“You need to leave now,” Colin said calmly.

“But we didn’t do anything! Colin, you’ve gotta believe me!”

“I don’t care anymore. It’s not my business. Do what you want with him.”

I walked over to where Colin was sitting. “Please don’t be like this.”

He stood up. “Like what? How do want me to act, Sam? Like nothing ever happened?”

“I don’t know. Tell me what to do to make this better.”
 

“Just go. I want you to leave.”

“I don’t understand. Can’t we even talk about this?”

He remained quiet, refusing to answer.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Then why did you even come to the procedure, Colin? I thought that meant something. I thought that—”

“Because I care what happens to you, Sam. I always will. And being there with you—it was the right thing to do. But as for you and me? I’m done with this. Us. I’m tired of being the only one in this relationship with you just showing up whenever you feel like it. Pushing me away whenever I try to be there for you. And now—messing around with a guy you just met and blaming it on some software program. As if you had no choice. As if I wasn’t even a consideration.”

“Please don’t do this, Colin. Please don’t end this. I can fix this. Just give me a chance.”

“I gave you plenty of chances, Sam. I even forgave you for trying to ditch me in Minnesota on your way up here. If I’d only known then that you were just trying to be alone with Erik.”

“That is
not
why I told you to stay in Minnesota. Don’t make up stuff that’s—”

“I’m not going to waste time fighting about this, Sam. It’s not worth it.”

We both stayed silent for a moment. My tears slowed.
 

“So now what? You’re just going to stop talking to me? We’ve been friends since we were kids. Are you giving up on our friendship, too?”

The thought of ending our friendship seemed to take him by surprise. I don’t think he’d considered that yet.
 

“I think we should just act normal around people. We should act like we’re getting along. Everyone will know we’re not dating but we don’t need to fight. I can move on from this and so can you.”
 

He showed no emotion, but I could feel the sadness and loss in him, even without reading his mind.

“You didn’t answer me, Colin. Are you ending our friendship?”

He wouldn’t respond.
 

I put my arms around him, trying to give him a hug. But he just stood there with his arms straight by his sides.
 

“I love you, Colin. And I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” I let go of him and left.
 

As I walked back to my room, my mind was in a fog. I bumped right into Dave.
 

“Hey, you almost knocked me over there. You okay, Sam?”

“No. I’m not.” I went in my room and sat on the bed. Dave followed.
 

“Is this about Colin?”

“Yes. I tried talking to him. I tried explaining everything. But I just made it worse.”

Dave gave me a hug. “Oh, Sam. I wish I was better at this parenting stuff. I never know what to do for you.”

But he did know. Just being there was enough.
 

“Uncle Dave, you’ve studied my DNA, right?”

Dave gave me an odd look. “Well, yes. Why do you ask?”
 

“And you’ve studied the software that’s implanted in those genetic markers they put in me?”

“Yes, of course I have.”

“Then will you just answer this question? Is there really software in me that makes me attracted to Erik? And does it really work? Or was that all just another GlobalLife lie?”

Dave wouldn’t answer.
 

“Uncle Dave, please. I have to know why I’ve had all these feelings for Erik when I already had the greatest guy on the planet for a boyfriend. Please tell me it’s because of that software.”

He sighed. “Samantha, I know you’re hurting. But what you’re going through right now? It’s life. And life gets messy sometimes. Bad things happen. People screw up. You’re going to make mistakes in life, Sam. And that’s okay. Everyone does. It’s how we learn. But in order to move on, you have to accept responsibility for whatever it is that you regret doing.”

“What are you saying, Uncle Dave?”

Before he could answer, I felt like I already knew. It was a lie. There was no attraction software.
 

“Sam, I’m not telling you if the software exists. Knowing that won’t help.” Dave waited for me to look at him. “You know what software is? It’s just a bunch of codes. A bunch of zeros and ones. That’s it. And although it’s amazing what those codes can do, when you really think about it, they’re just a bunch of numbers. They can’t think. They don’t make decisions. People like me tell the codes what to do. Sure, there’s all this artificial intelligence crap going on now, but again, what is that?”

He waited for a response. “I don’t know. More codes?”

“It’s artificial! Just as the name says. It’s not real! Do you get what I’m saying? Even if this software exists, you’re still in control of what happens, Sam. You can make your own decisions.”

“So you’re saying that it’s my fault. I did this to myself. I screwed up.”

“Honey, I don’t know what happened between you and Erik. And I don’t need to know. But whatever it was, I know that you feel guilty about it. And it would be so much easier if you could just blame GlobalLife and some software program. But I can’t let you do that. You’re an adult now, Sam. You have to understand why you made the decisions you made. Maybe you’ll find that you’ve outgrown Colin. Maybe pursuing Erik was your way of moving on. I don’t know. You need to figure that out for yourself. And when you do, things will be much clearer.”

Dave had definitely given this some thought. It was like he’d already prepared that speech. When I first mentioned the attraction software, he probably went to the lab and searched for it in my DNA. He’d probably decided then whether or not to tell me if it really existed. But I didn’t like his decision.

“I’ll let you get some sleep. Jack and I have to meet with Preston early tomorrow, so I won’t see you at breakfast. Goodnight, Sam.” He left, not waiting for my response.

That night, I lay in bed thinking about what Dave had said. If the software didn’t exist, then I didn’t know how to explain Erik and me. And if it did exist, how much control did I really have over what happened? Could it be overcome or was I destined to be with Erik?

Since I met him, Erik had consumed my thoughts, but was that because of me or the software? Colin was the only boyfriend I’d ever had. Maybe part of me was wanting to see what else was out there. And when a hot guy like Erik began flirting with me, I went with it, just to see what would happen. It wasn’t at all like me to do that, so blaming the software was easier than trying to figure out what was really going on.

When Erik and I were together at GlobalLife, I knew what I was doing. And I could have done things differently. But I didn’t wanted to. I’d always been the good girl. I knew being with Erik was wrong, but part of me liked not being perfect. Not doing the right thing. But facing the consequences was the down side of that. The software let me off the hook, at least I thought it did. Now I wasn’t so sure.
 

“Sam, are you awake?”
I heard Erik’s voice in my head.
 

“Yeah. How did you know?”
I thought back to him.
 

“I didn’t. I just thought I’d try. Our telepathy seems to work even better now that we had the procedure. I used to have to try a bunch of times before you’d hear me from another room and tonight you heard me right away.”

“I wonder if all of our abilities will get stronger.”

“Maybe I’ll start getting premonitions, like you. Or maybe we’ll both get new abilities. If you could choose, what other ability would you want, Sam?”
 

“I don’t think I want any more abilities, Erik. I’m still not used to the ones I have.”

“Come on. How about flying? Or invisibility?”
He laughed.
“What’s wrong? You’re not coming up with a power.”

“Erik, do you think the attraction software is real? And if it is real, do you think it works?”

“I told you before that it wasn’t real. Well, not that it wasn’t real. I think it’s definitely in us. I just don’t think it can overtake free will. I don’t think it can make decisions for us about who we like or don’t like.”

“Then how do you explain you and me, Erik? How do you explain this attraction we’ve had to each other from the moment we met?”

“I don’t know. There’s probably some truth in what they told us at GlobalLife about how the telepathy makes us more connected to each other. Brain waves are electrical charges, right? And positive and negative charges are attracted to each other. So when we mind-talk, we have this constant attraction of positive and negative charges that creates this strong bond between us.”

“So you don’t think the software has anything to do with it?”