A Clean Break (Gay Amish Romance Book 2) (5 page)

But Aaron smiled. “Go on. You can say anything, Isaac.”

“I tried to imagine where you were, and what you were doing, but I couldn’t.” He glanced up. “But you look almost just like I remember.”

“Minus the Amish beard hanging off my chin.” Aaron grimaced. “That was not a great look for me.”

“I mean before you followed church. You don’t have bangs, though.”

“Nope. And I think my hairline’s starting to recede now that I’m pushing thirty, but Jen says it’s all in my head.”

“You’re happy, though,” Isaac said. “Like when we were kids. That’s how I remembered you.”

David tried to imagine Joshua as a man. He’d always seemed so grownup in David’s eyes, but they’d both been boys. He sat quietly and finished his last fries even though his belly was stretched already.

Aaron smiled sadly. “I’m glad to hear that. I know the way I left was sudden. I wanted to say goodbye, but I was too scared. I didn’t want to fight with Mom and Dad, or let them convince me to stay even though I knew I had to leave. It’s strange to think of them as ‘Mother and Father.’ So formal, even for the Amish. I guess it’s a good thing I left before the move to Zebulon. Sounds like a lot of things changed after that.”

“Yes.” David shifted on his stool and toyed with his crumpled Big Mac wrapper. “After what Joshua did… After he and the girls died, everything changed.”

“No more rumspringa—not even the mention of it.” Isaac tapped his box of fries and the last few slid out. “But even Mervin secretly had a piece of English technology, and he almost always followed the rules. A Touch, it was called. We watched a movie on it and listened to music.” He sighed. “We were best friends our whole lives.”

“It’s hard to leave people behind,” Aaron said quietly.

David thought of Mervin that day in the barn, and the disgust creasing his face.

“I’d already lost him anyway.” Isaac paused. “He…he found out about me and David. He didn’t understand. Could barely even look at me after that, let alone talk to me. But at least he kept it a secret.”

What if Mervin had told them now?
David forced the thought away. There was no sense in worrying about it.

“I’m sorry, Isaac.” Aaron looped his arm over Isaac’s shoulders. “That must have been awful.” He shook his head. “God, how I wanted to take you with me, but you were way too young, and for all I knew you’d be happy as an Amish man once you were grown. But I hated leaving you. Running away in the night with a piece of paper the only thing to leave behind.”

“You left more than that.” Isaac pulled the folding pocketknife from his jeans.

Aaron’s eyebrows shot up. “I can’t believe you still have that!” He took it from Isaac and traced the simple edges.

“I carry it with me most of the time. I still love to carve things. And now I’ve learned so much about carpentry from David.”

“He’s a natural, that’s for sure.” David nudged Isaac’s knee with his own as warmth bloomed in his chest. Soon they’d be building things together again.

Aaron blinked rapidly as he handed the knife back, and his voice was thick. “I’m glad to hear it. I can’t tell you how much it means to have you here. Both of you.”

Isaac’s lip trembled. “I knew you’d help me. Us.”

“We’re so grateful to you and your wife,” David added awkwardly, emotion suddenly dense in the air.

“I can’t wait to meet her.” Isaac wiped at the corner of his eye and sucked the last of his soda through his straw loudly.

Aaron chuckled. “Just remember she’s not like the women you know. She says exactly what’s on her mind, and she definitely does not do everything her husband tells her—not by a long shot. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Have you guys seen the pictures?” Aaron jerked his thumb toward the living room. “Come on.”

David had already looked that morning, but he followed. On a low table along one wall, there were at least a dozen photos in glass and metal frames. In one, Aaron wore a black suit and held hands with a woman in a long white dress that hugged her slim body. Her arms were bare and the neckline dipped right down to the top of her breasts. They were on a low bridge in a garden with trees and flowers everywhere.

“That was our wedding day. There’s a whole album of us in every conceivable pose all over that park.” Aaron pointed to another photo where he and Jen stood surrounded by other people. “These are Jen’s parents. Her bridesmaids are all in purple, and her best friend Clark’s in the purple suit—he was the maid of honor. It would usually be a woman, but Jen insisted. He’s gay too.”

David examined the man in the purple suit. He looked almost like a girl, with glossy lips and sparkles on his tie. Another actual gay person. It was comforting somehow.

“English weddings are way fancier than Amish ones, as you can see. No celery for the centerpieces.”

Isaac peered at the photo. “Jen’s very pretty.” He quickly added, “Not that it matters.”

“It’s okay, you can say she’s pretty.” Aaron grinned. “I’d add that she’s smokin’ hot as well. This pic’s my favorite.” He pointed to one where Jen smiled back at the camera while Aaron walked a few steps ahead, holding her hand.

Jen’s teeth were gleaming white, contrasting with her tan skin and black hair knotted on her head with two curls hanging down. Jewels shone in her ears and around her neck, and the dress looked like it would be so soft to touch. She was laughing. David couldn’t tell how old she was, but he assumed around Aaron’s age.

Isaac asked, “Is she…Chinese?”

David had wondered as well, but didn’t know a polite way to ask. He realized he’d hardly met anyone in his entire life who hadn’t been like him.

“Filipino. The Philippines are islands in the Pacific, near Malaysia. I know that probably doesn’t mean much to you guys. I hardly knew anything when I left Red Hills. But I learned, and so can you.”

Isaac stared at the pictures. “Do a lot of English get married to people who aren’t…the same?”

“Sure,” Aaron answered. “It happens all the time now. You’ll be amazed how many people here aren’t white. I know it must seem weird to you.”

“No.” Isaac smiled. “Just different. But I’m different too.” His tender gaze met David’s.

David smiled and wondered if Aaron really wouldn’t mind if he held Isaac’s hand or touched his arm in front of him. But he kept his hands to himself anyway.

“We’re all different, which is exactly what the Amish are afraid of. They definitely don’t want women outside the home. I can’t imagine what Mom and Dad would think of Jen. She works more than I do, and she makes a hell of a lot more money than a new teacher.”

David blinked. Although he’d heard June and people in movies use the word
hell
casually, it was still jarring to hear it come so easily from Aaron.

Aaron sighed, gazing at his wedding photos. “No matter which Amish community and how different the
Ordnung
, the goal is always to make everyone and everything fit into little boxes. I could never squeeze in.”

“And the boxes are all measured right down to the quarter inch, just like our boots, and hats, and buggies, and every last thing,” David said. The freedom the English enjoyed seemed impossible.

Aaron laughed ruefully. “I sure don’t miss that. It was so strange at first, buying clothes and trying to figure out what size I was. Not having to worry about hems or brims being exactly a certain length or width. Not having to wear galluses anymore.” He tapped his leather belt. “Much better than suspenders in my book. Most pants just stay up on their own. I’ll take you guys shopping tomorrow and you can try on a bunch of clothes. See what you like.”

See what I like
. While David had jeans and casual shirts, there was so much else out there.

“I don’t have any money, though.” Isaac bit his lip. “David has some, but—”

“Stop.” Aaron held up his hand. “I already went through this with David. I don’t want either of you to worry about money right now. All you need to concentrate on is getting used to the world. It’s a lot to take in. Let me take care of everything else. When I left Red Hills, I only had a couple hundred dollars saved up. I was lucky to come across people who were amazingly generous to a total stranger. You’re my brother, and David’s your boyfriend. I’ll take care of everything for you, okay?”

Boyfriend
. David liked the sound of it as he rolled the word over in his mind.

Isaac swallowed hard. “Thank you. I’ll get a job as soon as I can, and—”

“Isaac.” Aaron took hold of his shoulders and peered at him seriously. “Don’t worry. First we need to get your birth certificates so you and David can get social security numbers.”

David blinked. It hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“What’s that?” Isaac asked.

“It’s a government thing,” Aaron answered. “You can’t legally work without it. There’s a lawyer in Ohio who helped me get my birth certificate. He’s ex-Amish, so he knows how to deal with the community. Since we were born at home, Mom and Dad never filed birth certificates for us. At least they didn’t for me, and I don’t think they would have for you. David, do you know if you have one?”

He shook his head. “I doubt it.”

“The lawyer will get affidavits from people in Red Hills who can testify about your births. Isaac, Abigail can sign one for you, and I’m sure there will be enough people who’ll help. Hannah might as well. David, we can ask your sister Emma.”

Isaac’s brows drew together. “An affi…what?”

“It’s like an official statement.” Aaron waved his hand. “Don’t worry about the details now. I can go over the paperwork with you once we start the ball rolling. Then we can get your passports, and you can learn to drive and get your licenses if you want. But at least in the city you don’t need to drive. I’ll show you how transit works. Don’t worry about all that stuff right now. It’s your first day.”

Isaac sighed. “It feels like there’s so much I don’t know. David’s been going to movies and reading books for a couple of years. Before I went to work with him I’d barely been off the farm. Father said…” He took a sharp breath. “Oh. I need to write them. I should have done that right away today. Do you think…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Aaron and David asked in unison.

Isaac stared at his feet for a moment before addressing his brother. “Do you think it would upset them more if I told them I’m with you?”

Aaron yanked at the knot in his tie, smiling tightly. “Probably. You should just tell them you’re safe. I can ask Abigail what Mother says in her next letter. For now it might be better to keep it vague.” He pulled his tie over his head and rolled it tightly.

Isaac and David shared a glance. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Isaac said quietly.

“You didn’t.” Aaron pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry. Usually I don’t think about it much, but sometimes it’s…” He rolled and unrolled his tie, his gaze on his hands. “Did they ever talk about me?”

“No,” Isaac whispered.

“That’s what I figured. I mean, I knew that. I did.” Aaron hitched his shoulders. “I’d still make the same choice.”

The thought that he might be erased from his family like answered sums on a blackboard made David’s palms sweat.

Aaron waved his hand. “Okay, that’s enough of my pity party. David, I don’t know about you, but I bet Isaac’s ready for dessert. Isaac, I got your favorite.”

“Ice cream?” he asked hopefully.

“What else?” Aaron slung his arm over Isaac’s shoulders. “I bought five different kinds, so you guys can have your pick.”

Sitting at the counter again, David scooped his spoon into a bowl of something called pralines and cream. As the smooth sweetness filled his mouth, he tried to forget everything else. Aaron was right—it was only their first day. They’d figure it all out. He pressed his knee against Isaac’s, and they shared a smile.

With eyes alight and a smear of ice cream on his mouth, Isaac glanced at where Aaron bent over the low freezer at the bottom of the fridge. Quick as a hummingbird, the kiss was soft and perfect, and David licked at the trace of chocolate left behind on his lips.

“Turn right at the corner?” David asked.

He jumped as a car honked, but it apparently wasn’t directed at them, since the vehicle sped past. A dog barked nearby, and more cars roared down the street. He found himself looking around constantly, and he made sure Isaac walked on the inside of the sidewalk.

Isaac consulted the small square of yellow paper. “Yes. Then it should be on our left.” He gazed up as they passed a four-story apartment building. “There are so many people here.”

Nodding, David sidestepped a woman with a baby carriage. It was the middle of the afternoon, but they’d passed quite a few other people in the three blocks from Aaron’s house. The fog had lifted, and although it was cloudy with a chilly wind, it felt practically tropical compared to what they’d left behind in Minnesota. With a pang of guilt, he thought of the snow that would need to be shoveled without him.

Isaac pointed to the green hill that dominated the landscape. “We should go up there one day. Bet you can see for miles.”

“I bet.” There were trees and a metal tower atop the hill. Squinting, David thought he could see a few people and perhaps dogs running to and fro. He moved to take off his hat to scratch an itch on his scalp, and realized he was grabbing at air.