A Common Scandal (17 page)

They walked in silence back to the rowboat. Nate handed her in before pushing it out into the water and climbing aboard himself. Out on the lake, the same warm sunlight beat down, the same mirrorlike water shone up, the same glorious vista of fields and trees disappeared into the distance, but Nate felt utterly rent open inside.

He glanced at her across from him in the rowboat. She stared at some point off on the far shore, her face in profile to him. Her loveliness was a knife to his chest. Her profile, the upturned nose, the delicate chin, the creamy skin and curving cheekbones, the mass of shining black hair coiled against the nape of her neck—she could have been an engraving in a magazine. But unlike some perfect image of womanhood in print, he’d held this one in his arms. He had felt the fire inside her and done battle with the delightful, sharp mind behind those glittering dark eyes. She enthralled his brain, sent his body half-crazed with lust and twisted his heart up with love. He thought he’d left behind such troublesome emotions when he was fifteen and his whole family had died. Since then, his heart had belonged to the sea and his ships. Now, undeniably, it belonged to Amelia.

She’d stirred to life that dormant emotion, and fixed it firmly to herself before he’d even realized it was happening. And now that he knew it, now he could feel it filling up every corner of his heart, it was too late. Even if he could convince her to cast off her family and choose him, he was all but pledged to Julia.

What had he thought he was doing? Had he honestly thought he could court and wed a girl who was little more than a stranger with no more passion or feeling than he expressed when picking out a necktie? Perhaps he could have before Amelia had come storming back into his life. But now she was here, the only woman he would ever love, and he’d made a disastrous mess of everything.

While he did the right thing by Julia, Radwill, that poor fool, would no doubt offer for Amelia before the week was out and it would be done. She’d become his wife and a viscountess, and she’d be lost to him forever, with even more finality than when she’d been snatched away as a child. She’d have her title and a comfortable life, but Radwill would never understand—and never appreciate—the passionate, complex woman he’d married. The Amelia he knew would be pressed flat like a flower between papers—by her title, by Society, by marriage to a man unworthy of her.

Meanwhile he’d achieve all the success he could ever want, but spend his life partnered with a pleasant girl for whom he felt absolutely nothing.

He wanted to howl in frustration, but he’d gotten where he was today by knowing exactly when to stop exerting effort on a lost cause. They’d both been set on their paths long before they found each other again. And it turned out somewhere along the line it had become impossible to turn back.

Chapter Fourteen

Amelia didn’t speak to Nate as he brought the boat into the dock. She didn’t even look at him. It was impossible. If she did, she’d break down. She sat quietly as he tied up the boat and took his hand as he helped her out, but she dropped it again the instant her feet were on the dock. Kitty and Will were out on the water, but Evelyn and Tony were already there, their boat ride either already finished or never attempted in the first place. Evelyn looked cross and Amelia had the feeling they’d walked into something unpleasant.

“Thank you for the boat ride, Mr. Smythe,” Amelia said, eyes averted. “It was lovely.”

“You’re most welcome, Miss Wheeler,” Nate said as if by rote. He didn’t look at her, either. “If you will all excuse me,” he said, nodding at the others. “I think I’ll go check on Lady Julia.”

“Well, Evie,” Tony said. “Shall we row out to the island now Nate and Amelia are back?” His sly grin said exactly what he hoped to get up to alone on the island.

“Um, I’m afraid I’ve had a bit too much sun,” Evelyn said. “I think I’ll return to the house and have the staff prepare some refreshments for everyone when they return. Miss Wheeler?” She turned to Amelia with pleading eyes. “Would you accompany me?”

“Oh...of course,” Amelia stammered, caught off guard by Evelyn’s unexpected appeal. “I’d be happy to.”

Evelyn looped her arm through Amelia’s and steered them back toward the house. Both were quiet for the first few minutes as they marched across the wide lawn.

“Mr. Smythe is quite handsome,” Evelyn observed. Amelia flushed with panic but did an admirable job of feigning nonchalance.

“Is he? I’m afraid I can only see a scrawny boy when I look at him. The hazard of childhood friendships, I suppose. It’s very hard to move on from them.” And wasn’t that the biggest understatement she’d ever uttered?

“I suppose.” Evelyn was silent for a moment, but Amelia could practically hear her anxiety even though she didn’t make a sound. Something was on Evelyn’s mind, and she was only waiting for a reason to let it all out. Even though she suspected she’d be sorry for it, Amelia gave her the opening she was clearly seeking.

“Mr. Batchelder is rather attractive, as well.”

“Do you think so?” Evelyn turned her questioning eyes to Amelia.

“Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. Only...”

Amelia hesitated. Evelyn had given her no indication in the past that she would welcome an intimacy with her. But the girl wanted to unburden herself and for whatever reason, she wasn’t turning to Kitty. “Is this about last night?” Amelia ventured.

Evelyn winced. “I never meant... I mean, I went into the garden with him alone. I thought he might kiss me, but I didn’t expect...”

An unpleasant suspicion began unfurling in Amelia’s mind. “Evelyn, did Mr. Batchelder force himself on you?”

“No.” Evelyn’s brows furrowed. “No, he didn’t force me. He was perhaps a bit...aggressive in his persuasion, but I never told him no.”

“Pardon me, but you seem distressed by what happened.”

“Kitty told me to,” she said in a rush. “She said a man like Tony, in that fast Cambridge set, is used to girls who allow liberties. She said all the girls did it these days. She said he’d never come up to scratch unless I gave him a bit of incentive. So I let him touch me. Only... Now I feel somewhat uneasy about it. And he’s...he’s not acting as if it mattered at all. And it did. Didn’t it? I mean,
shouldn’t
it? I’ve done something dreadful, haven’t I?”

Silently cursing that stupid twit, Kitty Ponsoy, she debated how to proceed.

“Evelyn, I’m not going to tell you it was dreadful or judge you in any way. It’s not my place. Only you can do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“How do
you
feel about what you did with Mr. Batchelder?”

Evelyn grimaced and looked at her feet. “I’m not sure. It was all right in the moment, but now...”

“Perhaps it’s because you did it for the wrong reasons. Tony Batchelder isn’t a man who can be snared by those sorts of lures. And—if I may be frank—he doesn’t strike me as particularly honorable. Allowing him liberties in the hope he will feel obligated to you in some way is an unwise strategy. For him or any man.”

Evelyn heaved a sigh. “I suppose you’re right. I don’t know why I listened to Kitty.”

“Because you like him, and you wanted him to like you. It’s very understandable.”

“It is?”

“Of course. Many girls have no doubt done far more foolish things for love.” She’d done many a foolish thing with Nate, and couldn’t bring herself to regret a single one. The difference was all in the intention. Nate was nothing like Tony. He’d never laid a hand on her intending to take advantage of her, no matter what she’d accused him of in the garden the night before. And when she’d offered herself to him, it was never with a thought of the future, or creating an obligation. She’d only wanted him, in whatever way she could have him, for as long as the moment could last.

“You don’t think I’ve done wrong? That my behavior was beyond the pale?”

Amelia stopped walking and turned Evelyn to face her, gripping her shoulders. “It’s not wrong if you truly care for him
and
he cares for you. I can’t believe that. You were perhaps a bit deceived in believing in his regard for you. But you cared for him. That’s not your fault.”

Evelyn gave her a tremulous smile. “Thank you, Miss Wheeler.”

“Amelia. We’ve done with all that, right?”

“Right. So, what should I do about Mr. Batchelder?”

“Oh, I’m afraid I’m the last person to give advice of that sort.”

“I don’t know. You seem to be managing quite well with Lord Radwill.”

Amelia looked at the ground, turning away and continuing toward the house. Evelyn fell into step beside her. “All we’ve done is talk, but he’s a nice man.”

“Hmm,” Evelyn hummed noncommittally.

“And as to what’s to be done about Tony Batchelder, I would suggest only doing what you wish, not what he wishes and certainly not what Kitty says you should do. If Mr. Batchelder fancies you, let him show it, and without the bribe of your personal charms to bring it about. Don’t sell yourself cheaply, Evelyn.”

Evelyn’s expression cleared. “You’re quite right. I’m the daughter of an earl. Who does he think he is, dallying with me like I’m some barmaid?”

“He can only dally with you if you allow it.”

“And I shan’t. Not again. Oh, but what if he tells? He was being awfully cavalier about it this morning, making a bawdy joke of it. If he puts it around I allowed those liberties, I’ll be ruined.”

“Leave it to me. Tony Batchelder will hold his tongue.”

Evelyn looked almost painfully relieved. “Thank you. And Amelia? Perhaps you should take your own advice. Only do what will make you happy, not other people.”

She smiled wryly at Evelyn, her most unexpected new friend. “In my case, I’m afraid nothing is quite that easy.”

“Perhaps it’s not as difficult as it seems to you. Now, we’re going to have dancing tonight and you must promise to get Mr. Smythe to dance. I suspect he’s wildly good at dancing. Is he?”

Amelia blinked in confusion. “Dancing? We knew each other as children. I can assure you, we never danced.”

“Then I suppose tonight you’ll see for yourself.”

Yes, tonight she would see for herself, but not about the dancing. What she’d said to Evelyn was true. If you loved someone, it couldn’t be wrong, no matter what the rules were about such things. Something was resolving itself in her mind. Yes, she was set on a course, and so was Nate. But there was one more thing she wanted from him, something she wanted to experience with him, just once, before everything changed and it was too late.

* * *

Once they were back in the house, Evelyn excused herself to speak with the housekeeper about the refreshments. Amelia lingered before a mirror in the entry hall, fixing her hair where her hat had disordered it. As she’d planned, Tony Batchelder found her there alone when he entered a few minutes later.

He gave her an absent nod as he began to move past her, but she called out to stop him. She slipped into her best Commanding Heiress voice, the one she’d perfected under Genevieve’s tutelage. She had a feeling she would need it to deal with him. “Mr. Batchelder. A word, please?”

He walked back to her with his usual sly, seductive grace. “And what can I do for you, Amelia?”

Good Lord, did he ever turn it off? “I don’t think you know me well enough to use my Christian name.”

He smiled, a slow curling of his lips, nearly predatory. “Oh, I don’t know. After what you witnessed last night I’d say we were on a very intimate basis. Is that what this is about? Was your curiosity piqued and Radwill’s not up to the task? I’d be happy to assist.”

Amelia made a face. He was disgusting. Evelyn, Kitty, herself... It didn’t signify which, as long as she was female and willing. And the willing part was likely negotiable where he was concerned.

“I assure you I don’t harbor the slightest curiosity about your skills in that department. And I would kindly ask you to refrain from referring to what happened last night in any way, to anyone, ever.”

His eyebrows raised slightly. “Quite the little stickler, aren’t we, Miss Wheeler? Did Evelyn put you up to this?”

“Evelyn doesn’t know I’m speaking to you. I’m simply looking out for her.”

“Evelyn can take care of herself. She knew what she was about when she walked out with me last night.”

“And I’m sure she’d have never done so if she knew you’d flirt with anything in a skirt the next day.”

“I never made her any promises.”

“Of course you didn’t. Your sort never does, do they?”

His eyes narrowed and he finally dropped his languid, seductive stance, squaring off before her. “A fine bit of judgment coming from the likes of you.”

“Oh, do be careful, Mr. Batchelder. I’m not the sort of girl you want to anger.”

“Then perhaps you’d best keep your nose out of my affairs.”

“Believe me, I’ll be delighted to forget you entirely once I’m assured of your silence on this matter.”

“And why should I promise you anything?”

Amelia smiled and took a step toward him. In spite of the adversarial words they’d been hurling at each other, Tony’s eyes lit up with interest and dropped to her bosom. No doubt he thought she might be about to offer him her favors in return for his silence. What a fool. “Mr. Batchelder,” she began. “I already know what a degenerate you are, but I’m sure you don’t wish the rest of Society to discover it.”

He smirked. “Seducing Evie hardly makes me a degenerate.”

She leaned in closer and whispered, her words meant for him and him alone. “No, but seducing your pretty young stepmother does.”

His eyes went wide and he blanched. “How do you know—”

Amelia stepped back. “Never mind how I know.” She’d have to thank Genevieve for that tidbit of information she’d imparted when she’d warned Amelia away from Tony. “Just remember, if a word of what transpired between you and Evelyn passes your lips, everyone else will know it. Your
father
will know it.”

“You wouldn’t,” he seethed.

“Why is everyone forever underestimating what I will do? I’ll do it with pleasure if I have to, Mr. Batchelder. Will I have any need to do so?”

Tony clenched his jaw, glaring at her for another moment, and he shook his head. “No need. I’d never tarnish a lady’s reputation in such a way.”

She let out a disbelieving snort of laughter. “You can save your pretty lies where I’m concerned. I’m glad we understand each other, Mr. Batchelder. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to lend Evelyn a hand arranging the refreshments. Good day.”

“Good day, Miss Wheeler.”

She sailed past him, leaving him looking furious and slightly nauseous.