Read A Cry for Self-Help (A Kate Jasper Mystery) Online
Authors: Jaqueline Girdner
A Cry for Self-Help (A Kate Jasper Mystery) (22 page)
“Stop!” Liz ordered, turning and crouching like an animal, hands and knees on the top of the railing. Her voice rang out calm and clear above the roar of the ocean. “Both of you stop right now.”
- Twenty-Three -
We made it as far as the deck chair before Liz Atherton shouted again.
This time, we only heard pieces of what she said. The booming of the ocean and the shrieking of the wind sucked all the rest away.
“Don’t come any nearer, honey…I’ve made…”
Diana started to run again. I watched Liz, backlit against the shimmering darkness as she lifted one hand off the railing that overlooked the rocks below. I leapt and caught Diana’s arm, pulling her toward me.
“Thank…” Liz said. I lost her next words, then heard “…on there…” She pointed toward the object she’d laid on the deck chair. I picked it up, only recognizing it as a miniature hand-held tape recorder when I touched it.
Diana used that diversion to run once more.
“Don’t!” Liz ordered and began to stand, wobbling like a tightrope walker on the weathered two-by-four. She lifted her hand as if to steady herself and then, mid-gesture, moved it to rub her temple.
I caught up with Diana in two steps and grabbed her by the shoulder. She was shaking. I was too. I took a big breath of chilled sea air, tasting salt. And fear.
“Listen to your mother,” I told Diana urgently. “Don’t rush her. Our only hope is to talk her down.”
“But she’s going to jump!” Diana cried.
“She will if you rush her.” I’d worked in a mental hospital long enough to know that. Whether Liz would jump even if we didn’t rush her was another question.
I tightened my grip on Diana’s shoulder as a moist gust of wind helpfully tilted her trembling body my way.
“Diana!” Liz yelled above the wind, crouching once more. I let my breath out slowly, wiping my already cold, dripping nose with the back of my hand, the hand that held the tape recorder. “I transcribed what you need to know. I love you. Everything will be as it should be. Please, don’t try to stop me.
“Mom!” Diana cried out and tried to run again. I caught her with both hands this time, jamming the tape recorder I still held into her flesh inadvertently, hitting the Play button as I did.
“To my two children,” the tape began in Liz’s distinct no-nonsense voice. Diana and I both jumped, startled, but I kept my grip on her. “Diana and Gary, this is a tape for you.” The words were tinny but just audible against the screaming wind and ocean. “There are also three written transcripts. The Quiero police should have one by tomorrow. And there will be one for each of you two. I haven’t been a court reporter all these years for nothing.” A chuckle crackled through the speaker. “I love you…”
As the taped words poured out like the dubbing of a bad movie, the words, “I love you,” echoed from the real Liz’s mouth once more. I looked up to see her still crouched on the railing, the sky growing darker behind her. “I killed Skyler…” And then I couldn’t hear anything more from the live Liz.
But the tape kept on running.
“…I had to kill him. At least, I thought I had to kill him. I knew he’d murdered his former wife. Everyone at the courthouse knew. Everyone except the jurors. And I knew he’d hit her. I couldn’t let that happen to you, Diana. I couldn’t let you go through that. Though from what his son said, perhaps I was wrong. The second most important decision in my life, and I might have been wrong.” There was no chuckle during this pause. “I got the idea from all the talk about tai chi. I realized how easily someone could be shoved over that low railing, especially a man as top-heavy as Sam Skyler…”
I looked up to see Liz still perched on that low railing, waiting. Waiting until we heard the entire tape as it rolled on? Or until the last glimmer of light left the darkening sky?
“…everyone else was mesmerized by the scuba wedding going on below, but when I looked over the bluff all I could see was Sally Skyler’s body lying crushed on the rocks. She deserved avenging, even if it hadn’t been for you, Diana…” Diana sobbed next to me as the tape continued. I pulled her closer and wrapped my arm around her shivering shoulders. And smelled honeysuckle and sweat against the fishy salt spray.
“…didn’t want to leave hand prints, so I picked up the two brass vases from the railing near Skyler. He never even turned my way. I held them up over my head and struck him with all my strength. After all those years with the chain saw, my strength is considerable. Skyler went over without a sound. Or if there was one, it was swallowed by the ocean. I wiped my fingerprints off and threw the vases after him. Good rubbish after bad.”
“Why?” Diana shouted over the wind. “Why?”
“I killed your father!” Liz shouted back, and the tape took over again, echoing eerily in the wind.
“…killed your father. Lennie Atherton, the drunken, bigoted cop on the take. Talk about your stereotypes. I thought I was marrying law and order, but I married corruption. And violence. So I pushed a pillow over his face while he was dead drunk…”
The tape continued in detail as the live Liz yelled, “The sudden freedom, I can’t tell you how it felt! I’ll never forget. But I didn’t stop to think that you were there too, Diana, that you might see! I’d hoped you’d never remember…” And then the rest of her words were snatched away as the wind changed course. But the tape was still running.
“…couldn’t kill Tessa, though. I was convinced she knew everything. I’m sure she knew I killed your father. How many widows are covered with bruises? How many widows have black eyes? How many wife beaters die of natural causes at such a young age? Tessa looked at me over twenty years ago and she knew. But she never said anything. Lennie’s cop friends knew too, but they’d have to talk about motive if they arrested me. They’d have to talk about all the times they’d found me and brought me back to Lennie when I took you kids and tried to run away. So they said he had a heart attack, ‘what a shame.’ It was a small town, easy to get the doctor to sign the death certificate…”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Diana cried out. “I still love you.”
I couldn’t tell whether Liz had heard her daughter from the railing, but she looked up and lifted one hand in a gesture that might have been blowing a kiss our way. The tape rolled on.
“…and then at Skyler’s funeral, when Tessa made the remark about the relief that mourners feel, I thought she was talking to me, telling me she knew. I thought she had figured out that I killed Skyler so he wouldn’t beat Diana the way Lennie beat me. So I went to the mortuary to talk to her, to beg her not to tell, to tell her I was dying anyway. To ask her to wait. I walked into the chapel and saw the back of Tessa’s head. She was bent over, probably praying. She never heard me. And then I saw the brass candlestick. And I went mad. I grabbed the candlestick and hit her. The minute I did it, I knew it was wrong. Terribly wrong. Tessa slumped over, her head bleeding. But I felt her wrist and there was still a pulse. I even thought of killing her then, of finishing her off. But that would have been unjustifiable. Lennie and Skyler were evil. Tessa wasn’t. I couldn’t kill her. So I just wiped my prints from the candlestick and ran, grateful she wasn’t badly hurt. She was already regaining consciousness when I left. And then I went home and waited for the police to arrest me. I was sure Tessa would tell them everything. But she didn’t. I don’t know why.”
I thought I heard the sound of brakes screeching, somewhere behind us, but then it was gone again. Maybe it was just a gull.
The live Liz jerked her head up. Had she heard it too?
“…I’m dying anyway…” the tape pushed on.
“No, Mom, no!” Diana screamed.
“Mom!” echoed behind me.
I turned to see two figures storming through the gate in the darkness.
“Kate!” shouted the largest one.
Wayne and Gary. Relief washed over me. But not for long.
Because Gary kept running, straight toward his mother. My mouth went dry in all the wet and cold.
“Stop!” Liz’s voice rang out.
I swiveled around and saw her rise to a standing position again, swaying as she did. I braced myself, as if centering my own body could stop hers from swaying.
“I have no regrets!” Liz shouted as Gary rushed on, passing us.
Wayne grabbed at him, just missing his collar. He picked up his own pace, running almost as fast as Gary.
The forgotten tape was still spinning, though.
“…I’m dying of a brain tumor…” it said.
Gary stopped and looked around.
“Mom?” he said in confusion.
“She says she killed Sam and Daddy,” Diana told him.
Gary nodded impatiently as he looked at his mother, then jerked his head around to check behind him for her double. How long had he known that his mother had killed two men? Or suspected? From his and Diana’s first visit to us? Had he been the one to tell Diana to call us off? Wayne caught up with him and reached out. Gary shook off his hand. Wayne respected the gesture and stood back.
“…Lennie’s revenge.” Another chuckle. “The doctor doesn’t agree, but I’m sure the tumor began back then from all those times Lennie hit my head. And now it’s killing me. Inoperable, they say…”
Gary turned back to the live Liz.
“Mom, don’t jump!” he bellowed. “We’ll find a way.”
Liz shifted her feet carefully on the railing, turning toward the ocean, as the tape ran on about medical opinions on how long she had left, about alternative treatments, and about her own opinion that the tumor wasn’t worth treating, not even the pain.
“No, no!” Gary yelled and made a sudden dash toward her, too sudden for Wayne to even grab for him. Bile filled my mouth.
Gary had almost reached the railing when Liz turned her head to look over her shoulder.
“I love you both,” she said, her calm voice suddenly clear over the sound of waves and wind.
An instant later, the tape echoed, “I love you both.”
And finally the tape clicked to an end as Gary ran, stretching out his hand.
And Liz Atherton jumped.
- Twenty-Four -
We all stood on the wooden pier watching a ferry boat aglow from stem to stern with candlelit lanterns floating toward us under the cool, moist night sky. At least this time I was dressed for the occasion, in two pairs of socks, a long parka, and a knit cap. I leaned against Wayne for a little more warmth and sighed contentedly. The scene was breathtakingly beautiful, the golden lanterns reflected on the bay waters, the night sky clear and starry. The sound of the revelers was just beginning to reach us in high-pitched laughter and low shouts. Frying garlic from a nearby restaurant, fishy bay smells, and Wayne’s unique herb-musk scent intermingled deliciously. Tonight was the last meeting of the Wedding Ritual class. And yes, the ferry wedding was as sumptuous and wondrous as Yvonne had promised. Though not as hot as the tango wedding. But then, nothing was ever going to be as hot as the tango wedding. Unless Wayne and I thought up something really good.
Little starbursts of conversation competed all around us from the remaining members of the class. Martina Monteil wasn’t there for the last class, but Nathan Skyler was. Maybe to show he forgave the group for their part in his father’s death. “For closure,” he’d probably say once he became a psychologist. Tessa and Ray, Emma and Campbell, and Ona and Perry had all stuck it out too. And—surprise, surprise— we had a new member in our group, Park Ranger David Yasuda, who stood grinning absurdly and holding hands with our fearless leader, Yvonne O’Reilley.
A gull shrieked, and my thoughts bounced back to Diana Atherton. And Liz Atherton. Nathan had told us Diana was already in therapy. She was remembering everything now and stronger for it, he insisted. She was going to make it. I hoped so.
Wayne had spent long hours closeted with Gary Atherton. Gary had told Wayne he’d always known his mother had killed his father. Since he was all of eleven years old. It was his little sister, Diana, only seven herself, who had wandered sleepily out of his parents’ bedroom over twenty years ago, murmuring, “Mommy put a pillow over Daddy’s head and now he’s really, really quiet,” before she made her way back into the room where her father lay so silently. When Liz had announced their father’s death the next day, Gary knew she’d killed him, and had been grateful. Very grateful, but worried about Diana who’d never mentioned the pillow again. Or her father. So Gary had kept a watchful eye on his little sister all those years, waiting for her to remember. Waiting for her to explode. But it was Liz who finally exploded.
I shook my head as hard as I could. I didn’t want to think about Liz Atherton now. It had been only one night since she’d jumped and landed on the same rock as Sam Skyler. With the same result. I forced my eyes back out over the bay, banishing the image of Liz Atherton’s spread-eagled body.
The glowing ferry was finally docking, the celebrants spilling out, laughing and chattering, some of them even singing. And finally the bride and groom emerged, their faces as luminous as the candlelit lanterns on the boat. The happy pair were decked out in full Navy whites, an oversized bow tie on the groom’s neck and the same oversized bow atop the bride’s head with a couple of yards of white lace trailing from it. The wind caught the lace, wrapping it around the groom’s shoulders. The two of them laughed and ran for shelter into the restaurant where the reception was being held, while our group watched from the deck. And talked.
Emma told us she was going to mortician’s school next semester as Campbell nodded proudly, his face pink from the cold under his ginger beard.
“What could be more cool than death?” Emma asked beneath the night sky. I shivered a little in my parka as she flung out her arms as if to embrace the universe, darkness as well as light. “Life, death. Yin, yang. In, out…”
Tessa smiled gently and gave the younger woman’s shoulders a little squeeze, before turning her head away. Was Tessa thinking of Liz, too?
“Did you know Liz killed Sam?” I asked her. I had to find out.
Tessa sighed, her narrow face somber in the dim light.
“I was fairly certain Liz had killed her husband,” Tessa began, her hushed voice just audible over the bay noises.
All the members of the Wedding Ritual class turned her way. I wasn’t the only curious one in the group.
“I was only an assistant all those years ago when Liz brought her husband to the Olcott Funeral Home to be buried,” Tessa murmured, her dark eyes losing focus to memory. “I saw a woman covered with bruises.” She paused. “And pinpoint hemorrhages in the eyes of her dead husband. Among other things. I wondered then if he’d been smothered. But the police were calling it a heart attack. So I kept my mouth shut.”
She shook her head slowly, as if still there.
When she spoke again, I flinched, startled by the steel in her soft voice.
“But Sam Skyler?” Tessa sighed and shrugged. “I never saw the connection. This woman might have killed her husband over twenty years ago. But I just didn’t see a relationship to Sam Skyler’s murder.” She paused for another moment. I sucked in a chestful of cold air. “I’ve seen a lot of death over the last twenty-five years.”
There was an even longer silence from Tessa as the bay waters lapped at the pier and little spurts of laughter and conversation peppered the night air.
“Tessa,” I asked finally, unable not to. “Why wouldn’t you talk about the night you were attacked? Why wouldn’t you let me ask people where they’d been that night?”
Tessa seemed to come out of her reverie then. She even laughed lightly.
“Because I assumed the police were doing the necessary detective work,” she answered.
“Oh,” I mumbled, embarrassed by my own assumption that
I
had been the detective. Some detective.
She must have seen the “duh” look on my face, because she laughed again and whispered in my ear, “and to keep the peace with Ray,” so quickly I wasn’t even sure I’d heard her until she’d finished and turned away again.
Time to change the subject, I decided, swiveling my head in Ray Zappa’s direction.
“So, how are your memoirs going?” I asked.
Ray’s handsome face went scarlet under the night sky.
“Um,” he muttered. “Uh…” And abruptly I tried to remember if I was even supposed to know about his memoirs. Nope. I remembered what Tessa had said about keeping her mouth shut and decided to try that method for a change as Tessa stood on tiptoe and kissed her stammering fiancé into silence.
“Ah, love,” Ona commented with a wink, snuggling up to Perry like the Persian cat I’d always see when I thought of her.
I opened my mouth to ask Ona how Perry’s daughter and her son were coping with their teenage romance, then shut it again. How many seconds had expired before I’d forgotten the Tessa method?
“Pammy and Ogden were in love for all of eight hours before they started arguing again,” Ona said, as if she’d heard me, anyway. So much for keeping my mouth shut. My mind was probably wide-open. At least that’s what the psychics always told me. “What a hoot! But they’ll probably fall in love again. We’re talking a lot about safe sex now—right, Perry? Damned if we know what else to do. Kids.” Ona squirmed closer to Perry as he nodded and nuzzled the top of her head. Then she suddenly whipped around in Nathan’s direction.
“Hey, where’s Martina the Malevolent?” she demanded.
Nathan jumped in place, but answered her calmly enough.
“Martina and I have split up,” he said, rubbing his hands together softly.
“Good for you!” Ona said and gave him a congratulatory pat on the back that almost sent him sprawling.
“Well, Martina
will
be the acting president of the Institute,” he added quietly.
“Hey, don’t let that barracuda push you around,” Ona advised, shaking a finger in Nathan’s face. “She’s a real ball-buster—”
“It’s fine,” Nathan interrupted, raising his hands as if in surrender. “Everything’s fine. Martina has no signatory control at the Institute. She’s merely the figurehead.” I thought I saw him grin. “I’m not completely naive. The Institute was really who Martina wanted to marry in the first place.”
“And you?” Ona prodded.
Nathan looked down at his feet. Or maybe he suddenly saw something of interest in the wooden slats of the pier.
“Diana,” Yvonne murmured dreamily. And Park Ranger Yasuda’s absurd smile grew even wider, a Cheshire cat’s grin in the darkness.
“Well,” Nathan muttered, still looking down. “Diana’s really healing. You know, she won’t touch Dad’s money. She’s using it to set up a trust fund for battered women’s counseling with it. And one for battering men.” He brought his head up, but his eyes were still hidden by his thick glasses, the condensed mist of the bay shrouding them even further. “The irony is that my father would have never hit her, I’m sure. My dad dead, her mom dead. I just don’t know…”
“No, Nathan,” Yvonne piped up, her high voice tinkling in the cold air. She reached out the hand that wasn’t holding Yasuda’s and her bracelets tinkled in harmony. “It’s cosmic, really, all that karma played out in each of their lifetimes. Sam pushes, he’s pushed. Liz’s husband hits, he’s killed. Liz leaps from the same bluff as Sam. They’ll all go clean into the next lifetime. You see, it’s really just wondrous. Just perfect. You can let it go.”
Nathan looked into the curving lines of her face for a few laps of the bay waters against the pier. Then she released his hand.
“Interesting,” he murmured thoughtfully. “Really interesting.” His stooped shoulders straightened a little.
I gave Yvonne a big hug. Her logic may not have been exactly in the right place, but her heart certainly was. I hoped it worked out with her park ranger. Wayne and I still didn’t have a wedding ceremony planned, but still…
I snuggled up to my sweetie and whispered in his ear, “Let’s go home.”
And then Wayne and I quietly exited the Wedding Ritual class, waving goodbye to the remaining members on the pier.
We were back in the Jaguar, on our way home before I spoke again.
“How’s Gary?” I asked.
“He’ll be okay,” Wayne said.
Then I asked the question I’d wanted to ask from the beginning.
“Were you in love with Diana?” I whispered softly.
“Diana?” Wayne barked, jerking his head around. “You mean Diana Atherton?”
I just nodded.
“Good God, no!” he spat out, staring at me, eyebrows raised as the Jaguar veered ever so slightly to the right. He turned his eyes back to the road, his voice softening to a low growl. “I love you, Kate. And even if I were to fall for anyone but you, it’d never be Diana. She’s too…too young. She’s too scatterbrained. And she’s too damned skinny!”
The words rattled around in the back of my brain for a moment, tickling a forgotten memory. Hadn’t Barbara used those same words an eternity ago to assure me of Wayne’s lack of interest in Diana?
I leaned my head back and laughed, unable to stop for five or ten miles of blacktop despite Wayne’s sidelong glances.
Until, finally, I was all laughed out. Only then did I put my cold hand gently on my sweetie’s warm thigh. And kept it there as we rolled home under the starry night sky.
Do It Yourself: Grief Into Growth Puppet
