A Daring Affair (19 page)

Mia headed down the hallway toward her room. She knew she was doing the right thing because if she stayed with Eric she might convince herself that his lack of love didn’t really matter. However, deep down, she knew that anything less than love wouldn’t satisfy her for long. Self-preservation instincts made her determined to distance herself from him emotionally and physically, even if it broke her heart.

* * *

“Damn it,” Eric cursed as he stood in the hotel lobby. Tish had just informed him that she had given Mia a room.

Eric found her room, but just as he was about to knock on the door, he hesitated and let his hand drop. Perhaps she needed some time alone. He knew that she was upset at him for not saying he loved her. It was understandable but inconvenient. He wanted her in his condo, in his bed, and in his arms. If he left her alone for one night, maybe she would calm down enough so that they could talk rationally.

Eric sighed as he stared at her door. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispered before walking away.

* * *

Mia spent the night restlessly tossing and turning in her bed. Around dawn, she finally drifted off to a fitful sleep. The phone ringing on her bedside table jarred her awake, and she fumbled for it, still half-asleep.

“Hello?” she asked, groggily as she glanced at the clock on her bedside table.

“Mia, are you all right?” Eric asked gruffly.

“I’m fine,” she answered dully. All her irritation had fled during the night. She was much too tired to be upset anymore. With every fiber of her being, down to the marrow of her bones, she knew he was her soulmate but even she knew when to draw the line, and she wasn’t about to force her love on him.

“I know it’s a little early-”

“It’s barely past six in the morning,” Mia interrupted.

“Can we talk?”

She paused for a long moment before she answered him. “Yes.”

“I’m right outside your door.”

Her eyes widened as adrenaline pumped through her bloodstream in reaction to his statement. The urge to run away was strong but that would be too cowardly. She hung up, put on her robe, and walked over to the door and opened it. Eric stood at her doorway holding two large mugs.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I brought coffee.”

“Oh, thanks,” she said, running a hand through her disheveled hair. She opened the door wider and he strode into her room.

Eric set the mugs on a table and waited for her to sit down. He sat across from her, his eyes troubled, and she braced herself for the discussion ahead.

“I’m sorry you were angry yesterday, Mia. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Mia twisted her hands on her lap before she picked up a mug and took a sip of coffee.

“You must know that I care about you, and I value our relationship,” he said earnestly.

“But you don’t love me,” she stated bluntly.

Eric looked uncomfortable, but Mia was determined to be honest with him.

“I love you, Eric, but it hurts too much knowing that you don’t love me back.”

He reached over the table and placed his hand over hers. “I’ve never been in love before, Mia,” he admitted. “I do know this though; you mean a lot to me.”

“It’s not enough, Eric,” she said miserably. She took her hand from under his and clenched her hands under the table.

“What do you want from me?” he suddenly burst out in frustration.

“Apparently something you won’t or can’t give,” she answered sadly.

Eric stood, walked over to the window and looked out at the view. “Do you want to stay here the rest of the week?” he asked, his back to her.

“I think that would be best,” Mia answered quietly.

“I predict you’ll change your mind,” he said, turning around to face her.

The tension between them was palpable, but she wasn’t going to back down. “No, I won’t, Eric,” she said firmly. “You were right. We do need to take things slowly and not rush. I’ve been expecting too much from you.”

“Now you’re using my words against me,” he said reproachfully. “Not fair, Mia.”

She involuntarily placed a hand on her belly. “Life isn’t fair, Eric,” she said. “Maybe I just need to step back from this situation and -”

“Our relationship is now a situation?” he interrupted, giving her a cool look. “You’re behaving like a child, Mia.”

“Then maybe it’s time I grow up,” she snapped. She stood, placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Am I just your dirty little secret, Eric? That’s how I feel since you don’t want us to be seen holding hands, or God forbid, show public displays of affection when we’re walking around the hotel.”

“What? You’re being ridiculous, Mia,” he said exasperatedly. “I don’t want to advertise our relationship to the hotel staff. Where did you get the crazy idea that you’re my dirty little secret? You’re my
girlfriend
.”

Mia let out a shaky sigh as he speared her with an icy, indignant look.

“I need some space to think things through,” she said firmly. “I want to stay here.”

A storm brewed in his eyes, and she braced herself for an angry tirade or a persuasive lecture, but instead, she received a stiff nod.

“Fine. I’ll bring your stuff to you later today. Don’t worry. I’ll have housekeeping let me in if you’re not around,” Eric said, striding swiftly toward the door. “Enjoy your
space
,” he said sarcastically.

Mia didn’t look at him as he slammed the door. As she sat back down in her chair, she felt a despair so deep that all she wanted to do was get on the first plane back to Edmonton.

* * *

Eric slammed the door of his condo and paced his living room floor. He cursed, releasing a series of expletives, to vent his anger. Now he knew what other men were talking about when they complained about their girlfriends or wives driving them crazy. He walked into his kitchen and poured himself a shot of vodka. He needed something to soothe his temper and ease his frustration. The condo felt empty without Mia, and a part of him wanted to march back into her hotel room and demand that she return with him. He suddenly realized that her presence had made his condo feel like a home, not just a place for him to sleep and store his belongings.

Why did she have to be so stubborn and unreasonable? They had only known each other for five weeks, yet she expected a declaration of love from him. What did she want him to do? Propose? He closed his eyes and imagined himself walking down the aisle with Mia, and a pleasant wave of happiness filled him. Perhaps getting hitched wasn’t such a bad idea. She would finally be satisfied, and it would bind her to him. He tried not to dwell too much on why the thought of losing Mia filled him with dread and anxiety.

* * *

Mia refused to wallow in misery after her argument with Eric, so she left her hotel room and walked to the beach. There, she found a recliner to lie down on, and stared up at the blue, cloudless sky. She did some deep breathing exercises to calm herself down before she reached into her beach bag for her cell phone and called her cousin.

“Hey, Mia, talk fast. No coffee yet,” Mandy mumbled sleepily.

“Sorry, Mandy, I forgot about the time difference.”

Mandy yawned and said, “That’s all right. I’m three hours ahead so I should be awake by now but I stayed up late writing a paper for my journalism class. What’s up?”

“I think I broke up with Eric.”

“You did what?!”

Mia winced as her cousin’s voice screeched into her ear. “It’s not working out between us, Mandy. I left his place today and got myself a room at the hotel.”

“You didn’t tell him about the baby, did you?” Mandy asked, a tone of accusation in her voice.

“I couldn’t, Mandy. I can’t tell him about the baby unless I know he loves me. I know that may sound foolish, but I don’t want him to want me because I’m having his baby,” said Mia, anguished at the thought of Eric being unable to love her.

She heard her cousin sigh. “I’m sorry, honey. He cares for you, doesn’t he?”

“He says he does, but it’s not enough, Mandy. I want his love.”

“I’m not sure if checking into the hotel was wise. Maybe you should have stayed with him and talked things through. Don’t run away.”

Mia gazed at the blue sea before her and the gentle, rolling waves. It was such a beautiful day, but she was feeling so dreary and confused.

“You’re the one who always told me I was too impulsive, Mandy. Moving in with him three weeks ago was probably the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done, and it may have been a huge mistake. I had to move out so that I could have some semblance of dignity.”

“What are you talking about, Mia?”

“I told him I loved him, and all he said was that we need to take things slow. If that isn’t humiliating, I don’t know what is,” she answered with a sigh.

“Well, you do have a point,” agreed Mandy reluctantly.

“It’s so beautiful here, but without Eric, everything seems a little less -” Mia’s voice trailed off.

“Wonderful?” filled in Mandy.

“What am I going to do?”

“You only have one week left in Maui. Why not enjoy the days you have left in paradise and let Eric figure out what
he
wants? Give him space and don’t get all clingy and needy. Sometimes guys need time to realize things - they can be kind of slow, you know.”

Mia laughed and said, “Thanks for your sage advice, Mandy.”

“Take care of yourself and my future niece or nephew. I still can’t believe you’re preggers. I can’t wait to be an aunt!” said Mandy excitedly.

“Focus, Mandy, focus.”

“Sorry, my bad. Look, try not to worry yourself to death. If you need me, just call. I’ll pick you up at the airport Friday night.”

“I love you, Mandy.”

“I love you, too, Mia. You know you can always count on me.”

Mia sighed as she put her cell phone back in her beach bag. She wanted to find Eric and tell him that she had enough love for both of them, but her pride wouldn’t let her. Placing her hand on her stomach, she knew that she had to remain strong for her sake and her baby’s. She desperately wanted Eric to realize that he loved her. Anything less was just compromise on her part.

Working alongside Eric over the next two days was pure agony. She exuded calm on the outside, but inside, she was a jumble of nerves. Trying to hide her turbulent emotions from him left her thoroughly exhausted by the end of each day. He treated her with utmost professionalism, but his icy demeanor intensified her loneliness and melancholy, leaving her feeling chilled and positively wretched. Whenever his eyes found hers, the bitterness she saw in his gaze made her look quickly away.

His sullen attitude was apparent to everyone, and he lost his patience easily. She had to apologize for his flashes of temper to several staff members more than once. He barely spoke to her during the day, and the few times she caught him looking at her, he speared her with a hard, questioning look in his gray eyes. Her gut instinct told her that he wanted to reconcile, but his surly attitude made her realize that distancing herself from him had been the right thing to do.

One night after work, as she was walking out of the conference room, she felt a hand on her arm and turned to find Eric staring down at her.

“What do you want?” she asked belligerently. She was fed up with his sour mood, and combined with her recent morning sickness, she was developing her own bad mood.

“Have you changed your mind?” he asked sharply.

“About what?” she asked, knowing exactly what he wanted. He wanted her to move back in with him and act as if everything was normal between them.

“I’ve had enough of your stubbornness. I want you back,” he said in a hard voice.

She shook her head, rubbing her temples. Her head throbbed, her back ached and her patience was gone.

“Please, Mia,” he added softly.

Hearing the plea in his voice nearly made her relent, but they were still at an impasse, and her pounding headache prevented her from thinking clearly.

“Maybe we can talk tomorrow,” she said, shaking off his arm.

“Mia…” he said in exasperation.

“I’m tired, Eric,” she said dully. “Good night.” She quickly walked away from him before she became too emotional again.

* * *

“Mia, what the heck is going on between you and Eric?” asked Kimo the next day. “The brah has been driving me and everyone else around here crazy. He just lectured me on why the tikis in the garden look mad. You guys get in a fight or something?”

They were standing near the gift shop and watched Eric leave the hotel. He had a meeting with a businessman, and Mia knew that he was going to be in Lahaina for the next several hours.

“I’m sorry, Kimo,” she apologized. “We haven’t been on good terms lately.”

“I noticed,” he said dryly. “More than once today, I had to tell the staff no boddah him, he stay piss off already.”

Mia smiled as Kimo broke into pidgin.

“Did you guys break up?” he asked, frowning.

“Sort of,” she answered hesitantly, feeling miserable.

“Fo’ real?” he asked in surprise. “Aznuts. It’s obvious that you guys belong together. No wonder da buggah gimme, and everyone else around here, stink eyes.”

Mia frowned. “I’m really sorry, Kimo. Maybe I should talk to him about his behavior.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve never seen Eric act like a lolo buggah, so I hope you’ll find a way to patch things up.”

Tish walked by and overheard their conversation. She nodded and added, “Lately, I nevah mess wid dat kahuna. Bettah stay away.”

Tish left them to join a group of tourists taking a hula class in the courtyard.

“Told you the staff is pretty puzzled by his bad temper,” said Kimo.

“I’ll talk to him,” Mia said. “He should try to curb his temper.”

“Mahalo, Mia, and good luck. If you ask me, Eric is acting like a fool. He cares for you, but he’s confused. There’s an ancient Hawaiian saying, ‘He kehau ho ‘oma ‘ema ‘e ke aloha,’ which means love removes hurt. Don’t stress. He’ll figure things out and make it up to you soon.”

“Mahalo, Kimo,” said Mia gratefully. “You’re a good friend.”

“A ‘ole pilikia, no problem,” he said, grinning.

Kimo gave her a shaka sign and walked away. Mia glanced at her watch and decided that she deserved to go home a little early. She was leaving Maui the day after tomorrow, and she wanted to enjoy as much of the island as she could before she left.