A Daring Sacrifice (16 page)

“I feel sorry for him,” Collin said in a low voice. “You broke his heart when you fell in love with me.”

My gaze swung to Collin as fast as the flap of a bat's wing.
Fell in love with him?

I couldn't deny that I'd done nothing but think about him since the moment I'd slipped over the walls of his castle. After running for hours, I'd finally picked up the trail of one of our hunters and caught a ride back to camp with him. But through the dark hours of the night, images of Collin had haunted my every step.

Bulldog had greeted me with yells and snarls, but his shoulders had sagged with tangible relief and his eyes had brimmed with all the love he had for me. Yet even back in the security of his care, along with the glad embraces of my people, my heart had ached. I hadn't understood the longings, hadn't been able to make sense of the confusion stirring my discontent. Until now.

“So you have fallen in love with me,” Collin teased. “At least you're not denying it.”

“Of course I'm not in love with you,” I whispered hotly, pulling my hand out of his grip. “I barely know you.”

“You know me well enough.” His voice dropped a notch.

“I know that you're terribly arrogant if you think I'd fall in love with someone like you.”

He gave a soft chuckle that was altogether too self-confident.

“You're a nobleman,” I hissed. “And I could never love a nobleman.”

“That's too bad,” he said lightly. “Because I'm pretty sure that I'm falling in love with you.”

At his whispered confession, my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't formulate any kind of coherent response.

When his fingers found mine again and closed around my hand, my heart finally pounded forward again, but at double the speed. I didn't pull away. I didn't want to.

Strangely, I felt I was back where I needed to be. I let my fingers mingle with his and nestled my hand deep into his strong palm.

“You left this,” he said, reaching for my other hand and sliding a thick ring onto my thumb. The polished silver contained the warmth of the finger where he'd worn it.

“It's yours,” I said, but I didn't make an effort to remove it.

“I gave it to you. And I want you to have it.” There was a possessiveness in his voice that settled deep into my soul. And when he wrapped his strong fingers around my hand, holding it with the other, I didn't resist. In fact, I let my body slump against him, suddenly tired but happier than I could remember being in a long time.

I didn't want to think about anything too deeply. I just wanted to savor the moment of being with him again. With a soft sigh, I rested my head against his shoulder. And when he pressed a gentle kiss against my cap, it felt as if it were the most natural action in the world.

I didn't know what was happening to me. All I knew was that I couldn't send him away as Bulldog wanted. Not that night.

Maybe not ever.

I
DIDN
'
T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL
J
ULIANA THAT HER
blindfold wouldn't stop me from retracing my steps and finding the secret passageway if I wanted.

“Are we there yet?” I asked.

She gave me a playful push. “You're worse than a child. You've asked me that a hundred times already.”

“And that's why you love me,” I teased back.

She didn't say anything.

I grinned and drew hope from her silence. At least she hadn't denied me again. And she hadn't given me back my ring. She was still wearing it on the thumb where I'd lodged it, even though Bulldog had raised his brow at the sight of it there.

We'd dozed and talked all afternoon and evening, sitting against the dirt wall holding hands. Then, after night had fallen, Juliana had blindfolded me and we'd slipped quietly out of the underground hovel. Apparently, sometime during the day Bulldog changed his mind about allowing me to stay. For how long, I didn't know. I didn't care. I'd take all the time with Juliana I could get.

“It's my turn to show you what a real party is like,” she said from behind me, her hand upon my back and guiding me through the thick brush.

When we reached a small clearing, she untied my blindfold, revealing a bonfire and a gathering of at least fifty women and children. Some of the women were busy cooking over large pots, others were kneeling at a nearby stream scrubbing and laundering their pitiful rags of clothing by the low light of the fire. The children were running around, many of them barefooted in the cold temperature of the autumn night.

Over the open firepit, several men were in the process of roasting a boar, turning the spit and laughing together. The dripping juices and wafting scent indicated the meal was almost ready.

I blinked back my astonishment at the number of assembled peasants as Juliana stepped next to me, taking in the gathering with a smile.

“How many live here?” I asked, my gaze alighting upon a young boy with a missing leg limping on a crude crutch.

“We're up to about eighty.” Her smile disappeared as she surveyed the gathering with more seriousness. “Every week, we grow. And it becomes more difficult to feed and clothe everyone.”

A posse of men led by Bulldog came into the clearing from another direction. They were armed and carried several crates between them.

“I imagine it's getting more difficult to stay hidden from your uncle too.”

She nodded. “That's why we only come out after dark. We make sure everyone is back in the caves before dawn breaks.”

She didn't have the chance to say more. The children had spotted her and scampered over. At first they cowered away from me, clutching Juliana and receiving her kind words and tender embraces.

“I'll let you do the honor,” she said, tossing me her sack. “Since you're the one providing for my friends tonight.”

I pried open the drawstring to reveal figs, apples, a dozen hard rolls, and a large wedge of cheese. “I see you took a detour to the kitchen on the way out of my castle.”

“You must thank Lord Collin for his generosity,” she told the children, all the while grinning at me.

I smiled in return, but as I began to hand out the food items to the children, an ache formed in the pit of my stomach. Their faces were too thin, their fingers too eager as they clasped their treasures. And as they devoured their meager gifts, their wide eyes filled with fear of me, almost as if they were afraid I'd snatch back the food before they could finish.

The sick gnawing inside me only grew throughout the feast that ensued. I wanted to refuse the slab of greasy pork that someone passed to me and tell them to divide my
portion among the children. But Juliana's headshake warned me against it. They were tolerating me because of her, even though their wary glances told me they'd much rather that I leave. Refusing their generosity would be like a slap in the face.

I only wished I'd thought to grab a couple of sacks of food on my way out of the castle as well. I could have brought some of the bundles of provisions that Juliana and I had put together for the poor tenants on my land. It clearly wouldn't have been enough. But it would have been more than they had now.

When I noticed that Juliana had given away her portions, I pushed my half-eaten pork into her hands. “Eat mine,” I insisted.

She glanced at the tender pink meat and nibbled her bottom lip. I didn't care if I offended anyone by giving away my meal. I couldn't bear to think that she'd go hungry.

“I ate enough at the dance to fill my belly for a week,” I joked, even as my stomach gurgled with the pangs of hunger.

“You're sure?” she asked, peering up at me with round, trusting eyes.

I'd already taken a couple of bites and wanted to ravage it the way the other men were eating theirs. But I pushed the pork toward her, forcing her to keep it. “I'm absolutely sure. Now eat it.”

Without another moment of hesitation, she tore into the meat.

Over her bent head, my gaze connected with Bulldog's. The man was gnawing a bone clean, but paused and nodded his approval at the sacrifice I'd made.

My chest swelled with strange satisfaction. I'd never had to make sacrifices before. Sure, I was finally giving something to my poor tenants and had instructed William to carry
forth the delivery plans without me. But I hadn't suffered as a result. The giving hadn't really been much of a sacrifice due to my immense wealth.

However, tonight, I'd given something that, simple as it was, had cost me. I'd go hungry as a result. For a reason I couldn't explain, I was more fulfilled than if I'd given away another diamond necklace.

After eating every morsel of the boar, one peasant man who'd had his eyes gouged out by Lord Wessex started a lively tune on his battered fiddle. Even though he couldn't see, a gaping grin split his leathery face as he stared blankly at the men and women who were stomping and laughing and twirling.

Juliana pushed me into the mix, and soon I found myself laughing along with her as I stumbled to learn dances that were much livelier than anything I'd ever danced.

Breathless and laughing, I finally pulled Juliana to the fringe of the circle.

“Are we wearing you out, my lord?” she asked with a smile that was as wide and beautiful as the cloudless sky overhead.

“You could never wear me out.” I meant my words to be light and playful, but they came out filled with more longing than I intended.

Strands of her hair had come loose, and I wished I had the freedom to take her cap, toss it into the blazing fire, and burn it for good. I longed to see her curls spill over her shoulders and twirl as she danced. In fact, I wanted to pull her into my arms, bury my fingers in her hair, and let them get tangled there.

As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, her smile faded and her pupils widened. Her lips parted just slightly, and I could hear her intake of breath, almost as if she were waiting for me to draw her near.

Did I dare?

I started to reach for her, but a sudden flare from a burning arrow came from the distant forest and landed in the midst of the dancers.

Juliana's body tensed.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Our perimeter guard has spotted someone,” she said tersely.

The dancers stopped. The music screeched to a halt. And the children ceased their giggling and games. A terrible silence fell over the clearing, and all eyes fixed upon the burning arrow.

Then, before anyone could speak or react, Juliana strode toward the center of the circle. “This is the sign that it is time to end our feasting,” she said evenly and quietly to the group. “Remember, you must not leave a trace of evidence that we've been here, and you must stay on the deer paths as you return to safety.”

With her calm words of instruction, the peasants followed her lead in gathering their supplies, putting out the fire, burying the ashes, and covering the pit with windfall. Although an urgency filled their whispers, Juliana managed to keep everyone from panicking.

“You need to blindfold His Royal Highness,” Bulldog ordered Juliana as we raced along an invisible deer path.

I stopped to pick up the crippled boy with a crutch at the same time that Juliana hefted a lagging child to her hip.

“A blindfold won't stop me from finding your secret passageway,” I admitted, sliding the lame boy to my back and slinging another small child across my shoulders.

Bulldog muttered under his breath, but stooped to assist an urchin in our race back to the caverns. Juliana sprinted ahead of us, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

“I hope you know,” I spoke over my shoulder to Bulldog, “I only want to keep Juliana safe.”

“Then leave. Now.”

“I want her to come with me.”

Bulldog growled. “She's not going anywhere.”

I stumbled over a twig and strained to right myself. The two children clung to my cloak and the wool pulled against my throat, nearly choking me. But I jogged forward anyway, attempting to distinguish the path by the faint light of the moon.

“Do you want her running like this forever?” I managed. “This is no way to live. She'll be better off and safer with me, and you know it.” A low twig whipped my face, stinging my skin, but I plunged forward anyway.

For several long seconds, Bulldog didn't say anything. The crunch of our boots and our labored breathing were the only sounds that surrounded us.

When Bulldog finally spoke, his voice was harsh. “What are your intentions toward her?”

My intentions? I almost tripped. What would I do with Juliana if I took her back to my home? “I love her,” I stated simply. And it was the truth.

“If you want her,” Bulldog said, “then you'll make her your wife first.”

Wife
? I liked the sound of that. True, maybe she wasn't the kind of woman I'd imagined I'd have by my side for the rest of my life. I supposed I'd always pictured myself with someone more like Lady Rosemarie—the fair-haired, beautiful lady whose heart I'd tried to win the past summer.