A Dark-Adapted Eye (4 page)

“What kind of thing?”

“You know. Muscles and stuff.”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

He nodded, his brown hair falling over one eye, as if that was what he'd expected to hear. The tag on his shirt said his name was Rhys. “Think she'd go out with me?” he asked.

“I don't know. I guess you'd have to ask.” I smiled at him and met Criseyde outside.

After a quick stop by the grocery store where she worked, we headed back to the house. I could smell the food cooking when we walked in—spaghetti and garlic bread, something simple but delicious. Ivory and Les were talking in the kitchen. I wondered which of them had volunteered to do the cooking.

Dropping my purse by the door, I headed into the kitchen to sample the sauce. Just then a girl's pretty laugh rang out at something one of the guys had said. I stopped mid-step for a brief moment before pressing my lips together and continuing forward.

“You have to put olive oil in it,” the girl said. “It keeps the noodles from sticking together.”

“I never heard of that.” Ivory held a bunch of raw noodles in one hand and regarded the pot of water on the stove.

“The sauce will slide right off if there’s even a little bit of oil,” Les said.

I'd hoped the girl was one my brother had invited, but I knew better. Besides, one look at her and I knew she was with Les. Bone-thin with dewy skin, she looked like a model. Her mink-colored hair was sleek and perfectly brushed, her cheeks were full and pink, and her teeth bore the look of expensive dental work.

“I like sticky noodles,” I blurted, too loudly.

“Oh, hi!” the girl exclaimed, looking up excitedly. She waved a sauce-coated spoon in the air. “You must be Asha. I'm Sarai.”

“Hi,” I replied numbly.

I hated,
hated
seeing Les’s girlfriends, though I had no right to be jealous. He didn't belong to me and he'd never led me on. I had to remind myself of that. But I hadn't expected one of his girls to be here tonight, much less cooking my dinner or introducing herself. It made me think she was going to stick around for a while. As far as I was aware, none of the previous girlfriends had ever bothered to learn my name.

With a brittle smile, I whirled out of the kitchen. My heart pounded uncomfortably and I felt short of breath. I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to calm down. I felt dangerously, stupidly close to tears, and ran to my room to let the feeling pass.
Get it together, you moron
, I told myself. It wasn’t like he’d never had a girl here before. I sat cross-legged on my bed, trying to breathe evenly.

Criseyde popped her head in the room. “Ash? You okay?”

“I'm fine.”

“Does this have anything to do with that skinny chick? You know she has freakishly large teeth. And it's a little disconcerting how I can practically count every bone in her body.”

I couldn't help but laugh a little. “Thanks, Cris. I'm fine. I should be used to girls coming around here by now.”

“I put in a movie. That really nasty zombie one. Maybe she'll throw up all over Les and be so embarrassed she goes home and never comes back.”

I laughed, because somehow Criseyde always knew how to brighten my spirits, and followed her out of the room.

The others had already gathered around the TV with their plates. I made one for myself and was about to sit on the floor next to the coffee table when Sarai patted the space on the couch beside her.

“I saved you a spot,” she whispered, her face bright with barely contained excitement.

Settling in next to her without a word, I wondered why she was trying so hard. I frowned at my dinner. There was no olive oil on the noodles.

Forty-five minutes later, I still had no idea what was happening in the movie because Sarai kept distracting me by squeezing Les’s leg at the bloody parts. I gave up on picking at my food and took my plate into the kitchen.

Criseyde came tiptoeing in and we giggled quietly as we each did a shot of the rum we’d go
tten from her work. I didn't want to get really drunk, but the liquor gave me a nice light feeling. Better than how I’d felt earlier, sitting next to Sarai and acutely aware of Les's presence on the other side of her. Better than how I’d felt finding out a beautiful vampire had bitten me.

“How are we ever going to get out of here?” I moaned. “I’ve never even been out of the state.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could get an apartment together in Paris?”

“You’re obsessed with Paris.”

“I’m going to go someday. Just wait. It sucks living in a studio apartment, you know. There isn't enough room for all my clothes.”

“I told you that.”

“I’ve gotten a lot more clothes since then.”

“You should move in,” I suggested. “You practically live here anyway. Maybe you can share Ivory’s room. He doesn't have too many clothes. And you’d never run into a girlfriend.”

We had dissolved into a fit of giggles when suddenly we realized everyone else had stopped watching the movie too. Ivory was talking curtly into his cell phone and Les had shrugged into his leather jacket. Sarai was pleading with him, wondering why he had to leave, what was so urgent to take him away from us.

She didn't know, I realized. Maybe she wouldn't ever understand, and that was why Les ha
dn't told her he hunted vampires every night. I silently gloated until I remembered she was the one who'd be waiting for him in bed when he got back home at sunrise. A second shot chased the thought away.

Sarai, carrying the rest of the plates with her matchstick arms, walked in the kitchen with a frown. “It's always about work with him,” she muttered. “He's married to his job, I swear!”

“Were you hoping he'd marry
you
?” Cris asked coldly.

“No,” Sarai said, cutting a sharp blue gaze at my friend. “It would be nice to have a little more of his attention, though.”

“Well, since you
aren't
married, you don't have to stay with him. You can leave any time.”

“Do you have a problem with me?”

“None at all. I was just saying.”

An idea had been forming in my mind while they struck out at each other. A stupid idea, maybe the stupidest I'd ever had. I wouldn't have considered following through with it on a no
rmal day, but this day was far from normal. Maybe it was the rum, or maybe it was agitation from meeting Sarai, but I was feeling impulsive. This would be my second attempt at stepping out into the world on my own.

“Cris,” I said abruptly, interrupting some veiled insult she'd been giving Sarai. “I need you to drive me somewhere.”

“She can't drive,” Sarai said. “She's been drinking. Both of you have.”

“Then
you
drive. I don't care.” I was irritated and impatient. “Cris, give her your keys.”

“She's not driving my car!”

“Just do it, please. I'll explain on the way.”

But as we left the house, zombie movie paused on the TV, I wondered how I could explain. Because this was a crazy errand and I had no idea how the girls would react. Maybe I wouldn't say anything. I'd give Sarai directions and I wouldn't tell her where she was taking us. By the time either she or Criseyde realized where we were and what I was doing, it would be too late to turn around.

I should have known better, just like Les said. I had promised not to go there again. I had meant it, too, yet now I was going back on my word for no good reason except that I felt upset, wired, excited, and afraid.

I had lied.

I was going to find my vampire.

four

dark matter: a term used to describe matter in the universe that cannot be seen, but can be d
etected by its gravitational effects on other bodies

The idea that had started out as merely stupid began to seem incredibly reckless the closer we got to Shiver. It
was
reckless, no doubt. I hunkered in the passenger seat, too proud to ask Sarai to turn around and too anxious to see what I might find out.

I
knew
vampires weren't to be messed with. They bit uncareful people all the time, or else kept them for some kind of twisted amusement. Ivory and Les had told me a little about the kinds of things vampires did, and I'd paid attention to stories on the news from time to time. According to recent news, there had been more deaths by vampire than usual.

I had gotten out alive once. What made me think I would be so lucky again?

“Asha,” Criseyde said in a warning tone when she realized where I was taking us. Her piquant face was thoughtful, her pinup lips frowning slightly.

“I don't like how this place looks,” Sarai said nervously.

“It's just around the corner. We're almost there.” My voice was surprisingly steady, considering how fluttery my insides felt. It was as if I felt the need to act confident and nonchalant to counteract Sarai's worry and Criseyde's disapproval.

Except it was a little hard to breathe.

“There's that stupid doorman again,” Criseyde pointed out.

Sarai had stopped the car a few yards before the front door to Shiver. I could see the outline of the doorman leaning on the wall and smoking, as if he'd never moved since we'd last been here.

“I'm going to talk to him,” I told the girls. “You guys stay here. Lock the doors.” That went without saying, but I felt the need to emphasize I wasn't trying to put them in any danger. If I'd been thinking clearly back at the house, I wouldn't have let them come with me. I wouldn't have come at all, as a matter of fact.

But I was already here.

I approached the doorman with feigned confidence, though I wondered if he could detect traces of fear within me. I didn't know for sure if he was a vampire, and even if he were, it had never been made clear whether vampires really possessed heightened senses, like smell or hearing. It was accepted as fact, however, they were able to see better than humans in the dark. I couldn’t see him well, but I could feel his eyes on me. I could feel his curiosity and intrigue. I doubted he ever saw the same human come to this club twice, much less voluntarily.

“I'm looking for someone,” I announced. “I was hoping you could help me find him.”

“I thought you might be back,” the doorman said smoothly, surprising me. His eyes were veiled in shadow but I could discern the faint smirk of his mouth. “Rade told me about you.”

“Rade?” I repeated idiotically.

“Isn't that who you're looking for?”

“I don't know his name.”

“He knows you. He's expecting you.”

I didn't bother to ask how Rade had known I'd be coming back even though the thought of a vampire lying in wait for me caused a knot in my stomach. “Well, is he here?” I asked imp
atiently.

“No. He's at his apartment. He asked me to give you the address.”

“Well?” I was getting tired of this guy's games. Why didn't he just give me the address and get it over with? I wanted to get out of here. Then again he probably knew that and was just trying to make me even more nervous than I already was.

He recited the address and I committed it to memory. I wanted to turn my back on him as a sort of snub and walk back to the car, but by now I was pretty sure he was a vampire. Why else would he have been hanging around on a dark corner in front of a vampire club? I backed away slowly, keeping him in my gaze, then slipped quickly into the car. Sarai shot the locks down, her hands shaking on the wheel.

“So what did you guys talk about?” Criseyde demanded, sticking her head between the front seats. “Where are we going now?”

Staring at my hands in my lap, I didn't answer right away. I kept asking myself why I'd felt the need to venture out to a vampire club—a vampire club where I'd nearly been food—at night, with no protection and no one who knew my whereabouts besides the two girls who'd come with me. To fill the gaps in my memory? To solidify my identity? To figure out why the vampire had chosen me ten years ago?

Ivory would kill me if he ever found out about this.

“Home,” I said. “That's where we're going.”

Sarai didn't need further incentive to get out of there. Criseyde was slightly put out, having expected some kind of excitement, but eventually she stopped questioning me. Even she knew it was better to go back where it was safe and familiar than continue into the unknown.

~

Two a.m. It was so quiet in our neighborhood at night. Many of the abandoned houses had been overtaken by squatters, people who’d migrated out here from the less safe neighborhoods closer to the center of the city. By day there was some activity, people coming and going at various hours, kids playing in the street, people arguing. But at night the families that remained turned on their porch lights to ward off the darkness and settled down for a quiet evening, hoping no one they knew would get attacked before morning.

Tonight I wasn't sleeping. I was restless, my mind whirring with thoughts. Rade. I kept r
epeating his name silently, picturing his violet eyes. Nine years old. The hallway in front of me. This house, where I'd grown up. Erasing memories of my worry-lined mother, my hazy alcoholic father. The boy in the café asking about Criseyde, hope in his young eyes. Les on his motorcycle, hands tight and strong on the handlebars. Clothes ruined by blood. Vampire hunters. I’d once made them promise not to get killed. As if they could promise such a thing.

They were still alive, though.

With a sigh I got up from my bed. Maybe I'd put on a movie, a sweeping French love story with subtitles. Too bad Criseyde wasn’t here to watch it with me. We loved getting caught up in the facial expressions, the drama, and the romance of the language, even if we could only pick out a word or two between the both of us.

I opened my door and started down the hall, eyes adjusting slowly to the dark. After a few steps I ran into someone and jumped back with an abbreviated scream. There were hands on my arms to stop me from stumbling.

“Asha, it’s me.”

That was a familiar voice. Squinting my eyes, I could make out the carved lines of Les’s face, his subtle mouth.

“Oh, god, sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know you were home already. I thought—”

“It’s all right.”

“I was just, um, getting some water.”

Embarrassed now, I moved to squeeze past him in the narrow space. I kept my head down, not wanting to look at him. I could feel the heat of his body through the thin fabric of his white shirt, just tight enough to skim over the lean, hard muscles of his torso. How had I handled living in the same house with him the past three years? Lately all I could think about was his body and how it drove me wild. I'd always loved him, but suddenly I was reacting to him in a very diffe
rent way than I was used to.

“Asha.”

My steps faltered and I turned hesitantly. “Yeah?”

“Sorry about tonight.”

“Oh. It's fine.” I wanted to say something else, but the words in my head were unsuitable.
I'm glad you're all right. Will you take off your shirt? I love you.

“Good night,” he said, turning to go into his room. I looked after him, the door opening just enough for me to catch a glimpse of his bed. A dim yellow lamp within the room illuminated a pair of long, slim legs stretched out on the dark blue comforter. Sarai. After we’d gotten back from Shiver, she'd slipped into his room to wait for him to come home.

The door closed, leaving me alone in the darkness.

Continuing absently to the kitchen for water, I recited the vampire's address in my mind. I didn't think I could forget it now if I wanted to. In the past few hours, I'd spent a lot of mental energy imagining my visit and what the vampire would say to me. It would end one of two ways: I'd walk out of the apartment or I wouldn't. The odds weren't good.

And yet.

Why was I still thinking about it? Maybe it was that connection Ivory had mentioned. Maybe it was strong enough to have lasted ten years and now that I’d remembered him, my blood was crying out for him.

I didn't know if that was even possible. The newscasters who delivered stories about mutilated, bloodless corpses or delirious victims didn't get too scientific when they talked about vampires, and vampires themselves weren't forthcoming with information about their kind, probably for fear it would be used against them. So all I knew was that they were generally lawless and merciless.

I wondered if Rade's blood was crying for me, too.

I drank down my water and put on the movie. I snuggled up on the couch to watch it.

I had to forget about my vampire.

~

“Look, that’s just how it is. This is how it’s always been. I’m sorry if you can’t handle it.”

“But why? You don’t
have
to do it.”

“I do, though. No one else will.”

The voices woke me. I listened, still half asleep, without opening my eyes. They whispered by the front door. One belonged to Les and the other to Sarai. I knew he was breaking up with her. Another girl come and gone.

“We can make it work. We’ll get an apartment—”

“We’re not moving in together. Please, Sarai. Just go home. We can talk about it later.”

I tried to feel sympathy for her. I really did. Sarai was the nicest of all his girlfriends, but I was still jealous that she’d touched him and kissed him. Soon there would be another girl. And to Les I would remain Ivory’s little sister, nothing more.

“Didn't mean to wake you,” Les said as I sat up and stretched.

“Oh—no big deal.” I shrugged casually, as if I hadn't overheard something so personal. Fo
llowing him into the kitchen, I began looking through the cabinets for breakfast. “Want some coffee?” I asked.

“Sure. Thanks.”

I spooned the grounds into the filter and listened to the machine start to brew. I loved the smell of coffee, though I'd only recently begun to like the taste. And I only liked it heavily loaded with some diluting combination of cream and sugar.

“You're up early,” I noticed, glancing at the microwave clock. It was barely nine.

“Yeah . . .” Les, standing by the fridge as he waited for the coffee to finish, rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, Sarai and I . . . we sort of had a fight. We broke up.”

“Oh.” I waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. I covered my disappointment by getting out the sugar. The details of his love life were none of my business. “How long did you guys date?”

“Two weeks.”

That had to be a record.

“You didn’t get your present yesterday,” he said. “We forgot all about it.”

“What present?” Birthdays weren’t a huge thing in our house now that my mom wasn’t around to make us feel special about turning another year older. Even when she had been, store-bought cupcakes or a hastily signed card in a pastel envelope had always sufficed.

“It’s on the floor by the table.”

Curious, I walked around the counter and into the dining room. There was a box stashed b
eneath the table and I instantly knew it was a telescope. I looked up at Les with wide eyes and then crouched down by the box to read the specifications. It had probably cost nearly five hundred dollars.

“I can’t wait to use it,” I said excitedly. “Thank you so much!”

“It wasn’t just me,” Les said. “It’s from both of us.”

“Thanks. It’s great.” I stood up and smiled, feeling grateful and weirdly sentimental. “I might need help getting it on the roof.”

A brisk rapping on the door distracted both of us. A key sounded in the lock and a second later Criseyde's voice rang out in the living room. “Helloooo!”

“Hello,” I called back.

“Ooh, coffee,” she said, entering the kitchen with a delicate clipping of her heels. “Actually, Ash, I thought we might go out for breakfast today. I kind of wanted to talk. About
things
.
You
know.” She rolled her eyes elaborately, indicating Les who, thankfully, was looking at the coffee maker and paying no attention to her.

“Okay,” I agreed. “But first, look at my new telescope.”

Cris eyed the box. “That looks fancy.”

“It is. Ivory and Les got it for me.”

“Oh, Ivory and
Les
did?”

“I need to get dressed,” I said quickly. “Come on.” I abandoned the coffee to go to my room and dragged her with me.

Cris was wearing some kind of glittery top despite the early hour, but I shimmied into my usual jeans and casual tank. My unbrushed hair tangled over my shoulders. Slipping on my flip-flops, I ignored her exasperated sigh at my careless outfit. With a grin I grabbed my soft brown leather purse. “Let's go!”