A Demon Made Me Do It (35 page)

I step over the tangled vines and
jagged branches and crawl through the opening in the iron fence. My
cheeks are numb from the cold, but I don’t care; this is the only
place I want to be right now.

I spread out my blanket next to a
large, cracked stone with faded engravings. Then I take out the
soft, brown book and open it to the middle. Unlike the other pages,
this one has the corner folded down, as if Kieron had marked it for
some special reason.

For what must be the twentieth time, I
silently read the poem by William Blake titled “A Divine
Image”.

Cruelty has a human
heart,
And Jealousy a human face;
Terror the human form divine,
And Secresy the human dress.
The human dress is forged iron,
The human form a fiery forge,
The human face a furnace sealed,
The human heart its hungry gorge.

I read and reread the words, a slow
tear trickling down my cheek. I’ve always hated my demon side for
what it’s done, what it represents. But I’ve always overlooked the
flaws I carry as a human. I’ve been cruel. I’ve been jealous. Being
human doesn’t make me humane. The words hint at self-destruction
with no hope for salvation. Because humans are flawed, I am flawed,
no matter how I look at it. I can only accept myself for who and
what I am, good and bad. I can’t hold demons to a different
standard than I do my own kind. Every element of evil that repulses
me in demons can be found in humans as well.

I close the book and my eyes, and pray
that someday I’ll see Kieron again and be able to make everything
all right.

Chapter 22.
Lucky

I gulp down the tall glass of iced
whiskey and reach for another.

“
I hate seeing you like
this,” Bones says from the seat beside me. “I don’t remember
you
ever
being
this depressed before. It’s ‘cause of him, isn’t it?”

I give him a look out of
the corner of my eye. I don’t want to talk about Kieron, especially
since he made me feel and look like
such
a fool. I still can’t believe
I’d had all these ridiculous feelings for someone who’d only been
using me. How stupid could I be to possibly think for even
one moment
Kieron was
someone who actually cared about me?
The
award for Dumbest Demion of the Year goes to…

“
I’m just glad I get to
kill him next time I see him,” Bones finishes.

“
You need to get in line
behind me for that one,” I say, taking another sip. “But it’s not
just him I’m mad at…I’m also pissed the Amazèa are too far outside
my range for me to hunt them myself. Thanks to lame-ass Liora and
her insistence at showing up at dawn…”

“
Yeah… kinda hard to have
such a limited time frame to work with, huh?”

I don’t say anything. I just stare at
the back of Gyan’s head and think of poor Cody.

Bones casually leans his arm over the
back of my chair. “I know you hate it when I say this, but I’ll say
it anyway,” he continues, “I’m glad it’s him hunting the Amazèa and
not you.”

I’m too drained inside to
argue. “He’s not
hunting
them, he’s
saving
them,” I mutter. I gulp down the last of my drink
and slam the glass on the counter.

“
That’s pretty impressive,
though, that he works for the Supreme Legionary. I’ve never met one
of their bounty hunters before. I expected him to be…I dunno…bigger
maybe.”

I pick up the fresh glass Gyan has set
down and aimlessly swish it with my fingers as Bones babbles on. “I
wonder what the Amazèa did, anyway. It must have been something
pretty crazy for them to get a contract on their heads. I heard
they were the ones responsible for killing a bunch of Sapies
recently, but I don’t know why the Legionare would care about that.
Doesn’t it make you feel any better that they’ll be punished, even
if it is for something else?”

“
No.”

“
Think about it, Lucky…with
the exception of the immortals, we’ll all die at some point. True,
some of us live longer than others, but we’ll extinguish
eventually, one way or another. If you kill the Amazèa now, where
is their suffering? Where is their pain? It doesn’t seem they would
be punished as much by dying as they would be if they were stripped
of their powers and banished to the Wasteland for eternity. I mean,
can you imagine anything worse?”

“
Yes, I can,” I
grumble.

Bones rolls his eyes. “Hurry up and
finish so we can go outside. I want to talk with you about
something.”

I glance around the sparsely populated
Bar. “So talk.”

“
Not here. We need privacy.
Just finish,” he instructs, flashing a devastating smile. In spite
of my
supposed
immunity to his demonic seductive powers, he still hasn’t lost
the ability to charm me whenever he wants to. Drives me
nuts.

I begrudgingly finish my drink and
stand up. “After you,” I say, waving my arm with lavish
flair.

Bones hops off his chair wearing a
cocky grin and grabs my hand. I shouldn’t be surprised at how
pleasurable it feels having his fingers wrapped around mine, but I
am. It’s almost as if I’d forgotten how good Bones makes me feel…
like being wrapped in a snug, familiar blanket. It’s different than
the way I felt when Kieron held me. With Kieron, I felt thrilled,
alive, and totally at peace, all at once. With Bones, I just feel
comforted—like a little girl who’s fallen down and scraped her knee
and is given ice cream and a kiss. Bones is my solace.

Hand in hand, we dodge
through the narrow trees, sprinting deeper into the Faerie Forest.
Bones is taking me to
his
private spot. He’s brought me here several times
before, yet I’ve never brought him to mine. No one has ever been
there except me…and Kieron. Realizing this makes me feel even
worse. I’ve allowed my sacred place to be spoiled by a traitor, but
someone as awesome and loving as Bones has never been invited. I
make a quick mental note to take him there soon.

Like my private grove, Bones’ spot is
high on a mountainside. But instead of being out in the open like
mine is, Bones’ lair is tucked away inside a cave. He easily tosses
aside the enormous boulders covering the entrance as if they’re
tiny pebbles, and throws some logs in a pile. “Do you mind?” he
asks with a coy grin.

I step forward and release a small
reddish-orange stream of heat from my fingertips. The firepit casts
a serene and inviting glow along the walls of the cave.

Bones sits down beside the fire and
opens up his arms. I immediately nestle into them, my back to his
chest, his body wrapped around me lovingly as he rests his chin on
top of my head. Together, we stare at the flames as they sparkle
and dance; I feel myself relaxing more and more within his
soothing, hypnotic embrace.

He holds me quietly. His two hearts
beat steadily on my back, and his warm breath tickles my neck and
ears as he presses his cheek to the side of my head. I try to focus
on how good Bones feels, instead of on the eternal torment I’ve
suffered since Kieron’s departure.

Bones had said he wanted to talk, but
he doesn’t say anything. The silence is nice, so peaceful and
relaxing. I sit there in his arms, letting our heartbeats and
breaths synchronize. At least an hour passes before either of us
stirs.

“
Lucky,” he finally
whispers into my ear. I angle my head slightly back towards him,
and feel his hot breath on my cheek. “How long have we been
friends?”

I smile, slightly puzzled. “I dunno…a
while…twelve, thirteen years?”

“
And in all that time, have
you ever wondered if maybe we’re supposed to be more to each other
than just
friends
?
I mean, I know right now you’re going through some nasty stuff, but
do you ever think you could feel the same way about me that you did
for…
him
?” His
voice is barely audible, but it sends shockwaves through my brain.
My stomach flips and sinks.

“
Bones,” I sigh, snuggling
deeper into his chest. “You don’t know how badly I wish it could be
you who was the one for me. So bad. So bad it hurts. I care about
you
so
much…”

“
So what is it, then?
What’s stopping you? Please tell me, because for the life of me I
can’t figure it out.” He brushes my hair behind my ear and nuzzles
my neck.

Why can’t things ever be
easy, just for
once
? Why can’t he be who I want him to be? Why can’t he be like
Kieron?

I immediately shove the
last wish away.
I don’t want Kieron. Not
anymore. Not after what he did.

My mind knows it. Problem is, my heart
doesn’t want to listen.

“
Bones…we have a good thing
here, and I don’t want to lose you,
ever
. If we try to be something more
and it doesn’t work out…”

“
But why
wouldn’t
it work out?
We’ve been great together all these years. We’ve been through so
much, and we’re closer than ever. Why do you think that would
suddenly go away if we became more serious? If I was yours and you
were…mine. All…
mine.
” He gulps and I feel his hearts skip a few beats.

I tilt my face to his. Our eyes
lock.

For a brief flash, I convince myself
that the outside world doesn’t exist—that he won’t bed multitudes
of other women, night after night, and gaze on them with the same
sweet, loving and seductive eyes he’s showing me now. For a moment,
I ignore the fact that he’ll only love half of me, and my neglected
twin will always despise him.

Maybe this is the best I can hope for.
Maybe I don’t get to have someone who can love all of me and have
all of me love him back. Maybe that’s the deal. Maybe Bones really
is the one I’m supposed to be with, and Kieron had only tricked me
into thinking otherwise.

A moment of denial is all it
takes.

Bones lowers his face to mine and
kisses me with the gentle expertise of a skilled lover. I close my
eyes, and, forgetting all the reasons why I shouldn’t, allow myself
to succumb to his tender embrace.

Gently, he lays me on the ground,
pillowing my head with his hand. He swiftly removes his black
sweater, placing it under my head where his hand had been, then
hoists himself on top of me. Our kisses come fast and furious.
We’re headed for dangerous territory, but I don’t care. I stroke
his silky soft skin, and nibble on his arms and neck.

He begins unfastening the hooks to my
corset, one by one. As it falls aside, revealing my naked breasts,
I feel no shame. Hungrily, he feasts on my arms, kissing and
suckling every spot of skin as if it’s the sweetest honey. His
every touch sends shivers of fire up and down my spine, and when he
loosens his pants and lets them fall, I know we’ve passed the point
of no return.

He presses his naked body down on me,
and I run my hands over his smooth, sculpted back. He kisses me
deeper, brushing his fingers through my hair and delicately
stroking my neck. My body is a blazing inferno, and even with my
eyes closed, I see perfectly his exquisite face.

Slowly, his trail of kisses travels
down my neck, between my breasts, and to my abdomen. He gently
glides his hands up under my long dress, tickling the inside of my
thighs with his fingertips. My body squirms and writhes with
anxious anticipation. Never have I craved anything as badly as I
crave him right now. My back arches, desperate to feel his skin on
mine. His hands massage my hips as he kisses his way back up my
body, each kiss deliberate and torturous. I eagerly await the feel
of his mouth on mine again.

Finally, his hot breath reaches my
neck, my face, and at last, my lips, as he devours me once more.
The full skirt of my dress is still an uncomfortable barrier to
what my body most desires, and as I start to lift it up, I hear the
hypnotic suggestion in my ear.

“
Say my name…”

“
Kieron,” my voice is a
breathless whisper, “Kieron…”

He stops. My eyes open, and it takes
another full second of staring at Bones’ wounded expression before
I fully comprehend what I’ve just done.

“
No…wait, Bones…I didn’t
mean…”

“
Yes, you did,” he whispers
dully. He looks away, and quickly pushes himself off me. His back
pressed against the cave wall, he stares blankly at the
fire.

I reach out to him, racked with guilt.
“Bones…I’m so sorry…I don’t know why I said that…”

How did that just happen?
Why did I say Kieron’s name?

He picks up his jeans and throws them
on. Then he tosses a few small twigs in the pit and stares vacantly
as the sparks fly. “You said the name of the one you most desire.
The one you most wanted me to be.”

“
But I
don’t…
he’s not
…I
don’t understand.”

He turns to face me, and I’m suddenly
very aware that I’m still topless. “I don’t understand either,” he
says quietly, “I thought for sure if you just let yourself open up
to me that I would be the one…”