A Different Shade of Violet? (7 page)

I wake with a sudden jolt and my eyes open while I lay on the cold concrete with blood pooling everywhere. I close my eyes tightly and try to bring the bright light and Danny back. I don’t want to be here. I want to be free from this pain that I’m feeling, not only all over my body but also in my heart. My heart literally feels like it’s tearing itself apart. But no matter how hard I scrunch my swollen eyes together only darkness engulfs me. I want to cry, so badly. I want to lay here in my own blood and cry my heart out, but what does crying get you? Nothing, absolutely bloody nothing.

I exhale and think back to Danny, he wanted me to fight. He wanted me to get up. And if I can’t get up for me, then I have to do it for him. I slowly pull my head up from the concrete and sit up feeling dizzy and a little out of it. I look back at Cupiditas and it looks fine. I could make my way back over there, but that would just worry Angel and the others and I don’t need them seeing me like this. So, I pick up my keys that are lying on the ground next to me and lean against the car to pull myself up. I stumble slightly, but the car catches me. I’m probably in no fit state to drive, but I unlock my car and stumble to the driver’s side and open the door. Every inch of me hurts, there’s not one inch of skin that doesn’t ache. I step into the car and slump down in the driver’s seat. I pull the keys up and insert them into the ignition starting my Stingray. I pull out of the car park and start to drive. I have no idea where I’m going and, to be honest, my autopilot is in overdrive. I don’t even remember starting the drive, but apparently I’ve pulled up and stopped the car. I look up and see I’m at Hudson’s house. I exhale and mentally slap myself for ending up here, but I need comfort and even though Hudson probably won’t give it to me, I need to try.

I step out of my car, noticing another one is parked in the driveway, but I don’t think about that too much because I just need to make it to the front door and then go from there. I stumble on the path to the door and ring the doorbell. I glance down at my watch through my swollen eyes to see it has just gone four a.m. He should be home. I hear Midas bark and it shocks me at how much I’ve missed him. I can’t wait for Hudson to open the door so I can see them both. I lean against the door frame to help hold me up as I hear footsteps on the other side of the door. I close my eyes because they hurt too much to keep them open for prolonged periods. I sense the door open followed by a gasp. I open my eyes to see Hudson staring at me with his eyes opened fully.

“Vee?” he asks sounding like he’s not sure if it is me or not.

“Yeah,” I reply and I wince. I feel my lip open back up and blood starts to drip down my chin.

“Jesus Christ,” he says and suddenly his arms are around me holding me to him and it’s like all the pain disappears and I’m floating. I lean into him feeling weak and my legs give way and I fall toward the floor. He catches me and lifts me up while I cradle into his chest.

“Vee? Vee, can you hear me?”

I can’t talk, so I wrap my arms around his neck and I feel like I’m home. Even through my haze I still feel like I’m where I belong. I feel him carrying me through his house, and from the direction we’re going I think we’re headed to the lounge room.

“Who was it, H?” I hear a female voice ask.

Her
voice!

My eyes fly open as I watch Cassie standing up, her hand shoots to her mouth as Hudson carries me in.

“It’s Violet. I’m not sure what’s happening, she won’t talk to me,” he replies and places me on to the sofa as Midas dances around me, seemingly happy to see me. I groan out in pain when he places me down, not from the physical pain, but from the pain in my chest at seeing Cassie here so early in the morning. I should’ve realised he would go back to
her.

“Vee, talk to me. Cass, can you get some ice please?” he calls out while she continues to stare.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I go to sit up. I need to leave. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I thought I wanted the white light before? Knowing Hudson is back with Cassie makes me even more desperate for the white light. I don’t want to be a witness to their happiness.

“What are you sorry for? What the hell happened to you?” he asks while he pulls tissues from the tissue box and dabs at my open wounds.

“I’m sorry, I should go. I didn’t know where to go and I didn’t realise you were back with
her,”
I mumble as I try to stand up, but I only manage to make myself dizzy and fall back on the sofa.

“Vee, stop! Sit down and stop trying to move. Who did this to you?” he asks and I finally look at his face. He looks terrible, his brows are creased and his forehead is furrowed so much all the lines are protruding. His eyes are open wide and his nostrils are flaring, even the veins in his neck are pulsating. But even in his worried state he still looks as handsome as ever. I stop moving and just stare at him. I miss him. God, I miss him so much it’s making the physical pain bearable compared to the pounding ache in my ripped apart heart.

“Vee, will you just talk to me? You’re starting to scare me,” he says snapping me out of my daydream and back into the here and now.

“It was Mad Dog and his gang,” I mumble while I hold on to my spinning head.

Cassie walks back in looking as beautiful as ever and my breathing starts to escalate.

“I’m going to fucking kill them,” Hudson seethes running his hand through his hair and standing up pacing the room. I watch him and for someone who doesn’t want to care about me he sure looks like he does.

Cassie bends down in front of me and hands me the ice wrapped in a tea towel. I honestly have no idea where to put it because everything hurts equally so I just rest it in my hands on my lap as Hudson continues to pace the lounge room floor. Cassie looks at me and shakes her head.

“I can’t believe this. I knew he was garbage, but I never thought he would do this,” Hudson says running his hand through his hair again while he stares down at me.

Cassie walks over to him and places her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He looks back at her and he has tears in his eyes.

“H, it’s okay. She’s okay,” Cassie reassures and he turns to face her. He looks at her in such a way that it makes me want to hurl. He’s thanking her with his eyes… for being there? I’m not sure, but either way I hate that he’s looking at her and not me.

“I should go,” I say and try to stand.

“Vee, stop! You need to go to the hospital and for a… rape kit,” he whispers the last two words.

I look at him and shake my head. “I don’t need a rape kit,” I say and Cassie smirks.

“Yeah, I guess being a whore means you don’t need to be tested for STI’s, you probably have them all already,” she says and my mouth drops open wide.

“Cassie!” Hudson berates.

Suddenly, anger surges through me.
“You told her?”
I yell, glaring at Hudson in his gorgeous multi-coloured eyes.

He swallows a lump in his throat. “Just sit back down before you fall down, Vee,” he demands while walking toward me. He grabs my arm to make me sit back down, but I pull away from him and glare as best I can through swollen eyes.

“How dare you. Of all the people to tell Hudson, why did it have to be
her?”
I ask through gritted teeth.

“Vee, you don’t understand. Being away from you has been torture—”

“It can’t have been too bad seeing as you’re back with her,” I yell and start to sway on the spot as my adrenalin is spiking and making me feel giddy.

“Vee, stop! I’m not back with Cassie. She’s been helping me try to forget about you,” he says which, of course, makes me feel even worse.

“Right, well, thanks so much. It’s nice to know you want to forget me. Here let me make this easier for you,” I say and turn to walk out.

I hear Cassie chuckle and I keep walking even though I’m walking into the walls.

“Seriously Vee, don’t you get it?” he yells making me turn back to look at him.

“Sure I get it. You’re fucking your ex to help you stop thinking about me. Well, that’s fine because I never think about you anyway,” I lie, trying to ease the pain of the endless despair I’m feeling right now.

“Vee. Cassie is only here so I can talk to her about you. Yes, I told her about your job because I had to talk to someone about it. I can’t talk to the guys at work. I can’t talk to my family because they love you so much. Who else was I going to confide in to help me get over you, huh?” he yells as he races over standing in front of the door stopping me from leaving.

“I don’t care, now let me out,” I say as I stumble again.

“Just let her go, Hudson. She isn’t worth you wasting your time on. It’s no wonder she got beaten up. She’s a whore for crying out loud. She deserves it,” Cassie says making my anger flare and suddenly my fighter instinct has finally kicked in. I stumble forward through the pain to reach her. She laughs and pushes my shoulder once I’m standing in front of her, but I’m too weak and I fall to the ground having exerted all my energy.

“Cassie!” Hudson calls out racing over as I lay on the floor in a crumpled heap at Cassie’s feet. He pulls me into his arms and I look up at Cassie. She’s looking down at me with such disdain in her eyes it makes me shudder.

“Cassie you need to leave. You can’t treat her that way when she’s so badly beaten. I swear sometimes I don’t even know who you are,” he says while he holds onto me tightly. I lean into him and he nuzzles into my bloodied hair.

“Seriously, it was self-defense, she was coming at me, Hudson.”

“I don’t care Cass that was uncalled for. What you said to her is unforgivable. Now get out,” he huffs and she grumbles and folds her arms over her chest.

“I’ve sat here and listened to you whinge and sulk over this trash for a month and this is how you repay me, H? You drop everything for her because she gets beaten up by one of her paying customers? She’s nothing but a whore, Hudson. She probably gave you genital herpes and that’s why you keep ignoring my advances because you don’t want to give them to me. So, for that I thank you, but H, you have to realise she’s no good for you, and the sooner you realise, the better—”

“Just get out, Cass,” Hudson says while I start to rock in his arms. I feel safe here, even though Cassie is throwing insults at me left, right and centre, I feel like nothing could hurt me while I’m in his arms. Even her vapid tongue.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I mean with all the attention she attracts, someone who gets beaten up is not the kind of person you want to be around, H.” She walks past us and toward the front door picking up her bag and keys from the table. “I’m sorry about the herpes comment, I’m sure you don’t have it, H. Just remember when you sort out your shit, I’ll still be here, waiting,” she says and walks out the front door.

Hudson holds me tighter as we both rock back and forth on the floor.

“I need to get you to the hospital. We need to do a rape kit. I can’t stand the thought of them doing that to you,” he says and I watch a tear slowly flow in a single line down his cheek.

“They didn’t rape me, Hudson, just beat me up a little. They said if I wasn’t a whore they would have torn up my insides. So, for the first time I’m grateful for my line of work,” I mumble into his shirt.

“Oh, thank God. It was killing me thinking they’d done that to you. It kills me seeing what they
have
done to you. Wait… but you said where you work. Does that mean you’re back on call?”

I shake my head and then flinch at the pain. “No, I haven’t slept with anyone since you,” I reply and he closes his eyes and his shoulders slump like he’s relieved. “I miss you so much,” I whisper.

He swallows hard and opens his eyes looking at me. Our eyes connect and we’re staring at each other like it’s the first time. I can see his eyes watering and mine are doing the same. I feel that energy sparking between us and I know he feels it to from his increased breathing just like mine. I lean into him, feeling the magnetic pull of him. He leans in minutely and then his eyes glaze over and he backs away.

“I need to get you to the hospital, Vee,” he says and then stands up taking me with him.

Our moment of connection now over.

Hudson drove me in my car to the hospital where I’m now sitting in the emergency bay with doctors and nurses checking me over. They’re prodding and poking me in places I didn’t even knew hurt until they pressed there.
Stupid fucks!

“Really is this necessary? Can’t you just tell me I’m fine and let me go home?” I ask and Hudson chuckles.

“Violet, we need to make sure there’s no internal bleeding or any breaks in your bones and then we can talk about letting you go home,” the stern looking nurse berates.

“Okay fine,” I reply crossing my arms over my chest while she wipes the dry blood from my face.

“How is your vision?” she asks.

Hudson sits up taking more notice.

“I’m fine, I don’t even need to be here really,” I reply and the nurse chuckles.

“Well honey, I think the laceration to your leg, that part of your eyebrow that looks like it’s hanging on by a thread and the cuts to your lips beg to differ. These things are all telling you that you do need to be here, especially that eyebrow. I’m going to go and get some things to stitch you up right now.”

“Holy shit! Does my eyebrow really need stitches?” I ask Hudson and he nods.

I know it’s hurting, but my stomach and arm hurt more.

“It’s pretty bad, Vee. You scared the shit out of me,” he admits and takes my hand in his. The surge that flows from his hand when he touches mine makes me flush red hot.

“Is it hot in here?” I ask starting to fan myself with my free hand.

“No, do you have a fever?” he asks standing up and resting the back of his hand on my forehead. Which only makes me feel even hotter at his touch. Flaming red hot, actually.

“Wow, you really are hot,” he says pulling the blanket off me leaving me covered only with a sheet.

“Thanks,” I joke and he half-smiles.

“Am I going to scar?” I ask, pointing to my eyebrow.

He looks at it for a second or two. “I think it probably will, but it won’t be too bad,” he says caressing my cheek. I lean into his hand and he exhales and runs his thumb over my swollen and cut lips.

“After you’re released from here, I’m going to take you to work so you can make a formal statement, okay?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Hudson,” I whisper.

“To be honest Vee, I don’t care what you think. I’m not letting them get away with what they’ve done to you. If you could see yourself you’d understand,” he says and I nod.

“Okay, I’ll make a statement, on one condition?”

He exhales and rolls his eyes. “Okay, hit me with it.”

“Can I do it tomorrow? I’m exhausted and I just want to sleep, to be honest.”

He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. “We really should do it as soon as possible, Vee—”

“I know, I just want a bit of normality before I go wreaking havoc with the Rebel Dogs.”

He scratches his head and frowns. “Okay, but first thing tomorrow I’m taking you in.”

I nod in agreement.

We spend the next hour and a half in the hospital and I get the all clear, with eight stitches in my eyebrow and another twelve in my leg, a butterfly stitch on my arm and a hell of a lot of bruising. They said the swelling in my eyes should go down within a couple of days and that I’m not allowed to drive for a week.

Bullshit!
I’ll drive whenever I want!

They also said that there was nothing broken and no internal bleeding and the bruising would probably get worse before it gets better. I’m going to look like a black, blue and yellow monstrosity for a while. In the car on the way back to Hudson’s I call Angel and tell her what happened. She was devastated and cried on the phone. She wanted to see me, but I told her I would be by tomorrow and to keep an eye out. Hudson also ordered some police surveillance at Cupiditas to stop the Rebel Dogs from entering the premises, which I’m grateful for. I don’t need them coming after my other employees.

We arrive back at Hudson’s and he walks with me under his arm to the door. He hasn’t stopped touching me in some way since I arrived, and I’m so grateful for it. I love it when he touches me, even if it’s just to help me walk.

We walk inside and Midas greets us, he looks so sleepy with his droopy eyes and I completely understand where he’s coming from. I’m so tired I feel like I could sleep for a month. Hudson closes the door behind us as I look back to see the sun rising over the trees.

No wonder I’m so tired!

He walks me down to his bedroom and I stop when we enter. He looks at me raising an eyebrow.

“You okay?” he asks looking at me.

“My stuff,” I say.

He swallows a lump and nods. “Yeah, I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s all still here,” he says and a little flutter lightens my very damaged heart. I can’t believe he still has everything of mine here a month after we broke up.

“I’ll get you into bed,” he says as he starts walking again with me under his arm over to the bed. He sits me down while I look around his bedroom. It’s exactly how I remember it. God, I miss being here. He pulls off my shoes and then lifts me up from the bed. I stand against him. I feel really weak as he pulls the covers back and then sits me back down.

“Right, in you get,” he says.

I lay down in my ripped and bloodstained clothes and he pulls the covers over me. I don’t have the energy to change. He leans down and caresses my face.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he says and he exhales, stands up and goes to walk out.

“Where are you going?” I ask looking at him while my heart starts that all too familiar race it’s becoming renown for. I feel safe when he’s around. I don’t want to be in here alone.

“I’m going to sleep on the sofa,” he says and turns to walk out.

“Wait,” I call out breathlessly. “Please don’t go,” I beg and he faces me and closes his eyes.

“Violet, I don’t think that’s—”

“I don’t want to be alone,” I blurt out before he can finish his sentence.

He exhales and walks back toward me while removing his shirt. I look at his chest and stomach and wipe the imaginary drool from my chin. I forgot how utterly gorgeous and toned he is.

“I’ll lay on top of the covers until you fall asleep, how’s that?”

“Hudson, I was beaten up tonight. I need comfort,” I say and he closes his eyes tightly.

“I’ll get Midas to come in here and lay with you.”

“No Hudson, I need
you.
I need you to hold me—”

“Vee, c’mon—”

“Please Hudson,” I beg and he rubs his nose looking slightly uncomfortable and I hate that he looks that way. He stands up and pulls back the covers and hops into the bed. I instantly feel all the panic leave and a comfortable ease wash over me.

“Roll over,” he says.

I smile even though it hurts and roll turning my back to him. He slides in behind me and wraps his arm around my stomach pulling my back to his front. The connection of having his body against mine is sending a chill up my spine but in a completely good way. He nuzzles into my back and it feels like we’ve never parted. His hand runs under my shirt and rests on the skin of my stomach. His touch is soft. I know he doesn’t want to hurt me. I can’t resist and I move my hand up and under my shirt and on top of his. I move my fingers down between his and he slowly moves his and intertwines our fingers.

Suddenly all the drama and pain of the last few hours washes away and it was all worth it to have this moment right now with Hudson. I lean into him completely and revel in his smell. He smells just like I remembered. I close my eyes and relish the feeling of his breath on the back of my neck and for the first time since I was beaten, I feel like I have something to fight for while I drift into the black crevice of my mind.

I wake slowly, still with his arm wrapped around me and our fingers entwined. Even though my body is aching more than I thought possible, I feel safe and calm. I feel the best I have emotionally, in a month and I’m so glad my autopilot skills brought me here.

“Morning little firecracker,” he whispers in my ear and my heart skips a beat when I hear the words I’ve been craving.

“Morning,” I say as I turn in his grip to face him.

As I turn he winces. I forgot I must look like shit. He brings his hand up and caresses my cheek.

“I can’t believe they did this to you. Trust me Vee, they
will
pay for it,” he says and I smile.

“As long as it doesn’t end up with your severed head in an alleyway. I’m all for it,” I joke.

“I’m not going after them personally, Vee, even though every inch of me wants to rip Mad Dog’s head off. I know I can’t match them, but I will go after them with the law. I’m going to hit them with everything I have. Don’t worry they’ll pay.”

“Thank you, for everything. You were amazing last night, even with that bitch ex of yours,” I say suddenly feeling very cold at the thought of Cassie.

“I’m sorry about her. She’s very protective of me and she’s helped me through some rough shit. Doesn’t excuse how she treated you though,” he says and I look into his eyes. My vision is clearer today and I can see just how stunningly attractive he really is. He looks back into mine and a moment passes between us. His hand stills on my cheek and I inadvertently lick my lips. I lean in closer and I can see his breathing increase, as does mine. I lean in a little closer, our lips so close together, but still too far apart for my liking.

“Vee,” he whispers as I inch closer again.

“Mmm?” I murmur.

He exhales breaking eye contact and rolls on his back away from me.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…”

I back off feeling rejected and a whole lot of insecurity runs right through me. I thought he was feeling the spark too. I know it’s still there and I was sure he was feeling it.

I swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat and nod rolling over onto my back.

He sits up suddenly and pulls the covers off of him. He stands up from the bed and looks at me.

“I’m sorry. I’m going to make you something to eat and then we’ll go down to the station to report this. Okay?” he asks sounding increasingly distant.

I sniff as my heart races frantically. “Sure.”

He nods and walks out of the bedroom, grabbing a tank top and slipping it on, on his way out. I watch as he leaves the room quickly. Seems that the connection I’m feeling, maybe he isn’t.

I slowly rise up from the bed and make my way to the en-suite. I figure I’ll have a shower and wash away some of the residual blood stains. I get completely undressed and turn on the water, it’s still set to forty degrees, just the way we both like it. I feel slightly weak on my feet, but I’m sure I can manage something as simple as a shower. I step in the alcove and shut the door.

I step under the shower and the water droplets running onto my skin would normally soothe me, but today it does nothing but remind me of my bruising while every drop of water beats onto my skin in a painful thump. I wash quickly and to get out asap! Suddenly the en-suite door opens.

“Vee, are you in the shower?” Hudson calls out, but he doesn’t come inside.

“Yes.”

“Well, be careful. I don’t want you passing out in there or something when I can’t help you.”

“Hudson, you don’t have to yell you can come in,” I call out and then there’s a pause. I rub the mist from the shower screen to see if he’s coming through the doorway or not. He isn’t.

“Hudson?”

“I’m here, just make sure you get out soon and don’t stay in there if you feel weak,” he says and then the door shuts.

I swallow hard and wrap my arms around myself for comfort. I think it’s pretty obvious he’s trying to steer clear of me. I don’t blame him. I guess this situation of me being beaten to a pulp hasn’t changed the previous situation. You know, the one where I’m a madam and he’s a cop. Yeah, that situation hasn’t changed and I guess it means his stance on us won’t change either.

I wash the last of the blood from my body and get out of the shower quickly. I dry myself with his towel and then make my way to the walk-in robe to find some comfortable clothes and pull them on.

Once dressed and my hair looks more normal and less like Chewbacca, I make my way to the kitchen to see Hudson cooking up some bacon and French toast. He would always cook my favourite weekend breakfast and it’s nice that he remembered that I loved it so much.