A Family Scandal (30 page)

Rhona shook her head. She knew this was her chance to learn properly, and without all the overtones that had come with playing Gary’s guitar. ‘I really want to get it right,’ she said, her voice full of determination. ‘I love listening to other people play but it’s not enough. I want to see if I can do it too. I’m fed up with everyone saying girls can’t play guitar.’

‘No reason why you can’t,’ Jeff assured her. ‘You can keep rhythm – well, you will when you’ve got the chords sorted out. I’ve seen you dance, and heard you sing along to songs in the pub. You’ve got music running through you. You’ll be fine.’

‘Really?’ Rhona didn’t feel any confidence but she desperately hoped he was right and wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better. He really did have the kindest eyes, so was that all it was. He was trying to be kind.

‘Yes, really,’ Jeff echoed.

He looked at her directly and Rhona felt the atmosphere shift. He was looking at her in a new way … or was she imagining it? She told herself not to be silly and to concentrate.

‘Look,’ he said. ‘Try this one. This is an A major.’

Rhona tried to copy the position of his fingers and strummed but it sounded totally different. She couldn’t work out which string she wasn’t pressing correctly. She plucked each one in turn but every time it sounded worse than before. ‘No, I can’t get that. I can tell what it ought to sound like, but I just can’t get it right.’

‘Like this, on this fret.’ Jeff tried again. ‘No, further up … no, too far. Hang on.’

He got up, came behind her, and she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. She went completely still, not sure what he was about to do, but found herself willing him to come closer. He slid in and put one arm around her, hardly touching her, so that he could move her hand along the neck of the guitar.

‘Like that,’ he said. ‘Can you see where you went wrong now? You were nearly there.’

He turned his head so that he was looking straight into her eyes. Their faces were very close and Rhona could feel his breath on her cheeks. ‘Yes, I see,’ she husked, sure that he was about to kiss her and found that she actually wanted him to.

‘Good,’ he said, and slipped back again, returning to his chair.

Rhona looked down, hiding her disappointment. She was embarrassed. This was nothing like anything she was used to. Men usually kissed her with confidence and she kissed them back. Sometimes she kissed them first. But she didn’t want to do that to Jeff – she wasn’t sure he’d like a girl who was too forward. Hell, she couldn’t tell what he wanted.

Stop it, Rhona told herself. Jeff is just teaching you the guitar, there’s nothing else to it. ‘OK,’ she said, looking up. ‘Got it.’

Mavis was shaking as she stood waiting in the corridor. It smelt of disinfectant. She wondered if the cells smelt the same. She was finally about to see Tommy for the first time since his arrest and she was nervous. The solid brick walls of the prison were unforgiving and her heart ached at the thought of him shut up in here. At least the authorities had stopped moving him round, but as he’d ended up on the other side of London she had thought she’d never manage to get there for the short time slot allowed. In the end, seeing as he didn’t have any work on at the moment, Pete had offered to drive her. He refused to come in with her, saying he didn’t want to infringe on the short time she and Tommy had together, and that anyway, prisons gave him the creeps. Mavis knew exactly what he meant – it was as if the building itself was full of fear and violence – but she couldn’t let that put her off. At last Tommy had agreed to see her and she was desperate to see him. It had been weeks since his arrest – the autumn term was well underway and the leaves were falling from the trees, but he wouldn’t be able to see them.

It seemed like hours before the guard unlocked the door. ‘Here you are. Ten minutes. No personal contact of any kind.’ He stood back but didn’t leave them alone.

Tommy was thinner than when she’d last seen him, and it was strange to find him in prison scrubs rather than his usual clothes, but his smile was the same, that smile she’d dreamed of so often while they’d been apart. She rushed towards him but the guard called to remind her: ‘No personal contact.’ She wasn’t allowed to touch him, to hug him, no matter how much she wanted to.

‘Mavis, you came.’ Tommy stood as close to her as he could, hungrily taking in every inch of her with his eyes. ‘It’s such a long way. I didn’t know if you’d make it but I’m so glad you did.’

‘Of course I came.’ Mavis looked at him longingly. It was unbearable, to be this near and yet not be able to reach out for him. ‘Pete brought me, but why didn’t you want to see me before? I miss you so much and I wanted to see you to make sure you’re all right.’

‘I didn’t want you to see me like this, in a place like this, and I’m fine,’ Tommy said and shuffled a little. ‘Look, we can sit down, either side of this table.’

‘Are they treating you well?’ Mavis began, but Tommy raised his eyebrows and she realised he wasn’t going to say much on that subject while there was a prison guard listening in. ‘You won’t be here for much longer, Tommy. They’ll have to let you go because it’s plain that you’re innocent.’

Tommy shook his head. ‘Unless something comes up to prove that, they’ll keep me here until my trial. I’m trying to get my head around it, and so must you, but at least it’s great to hear that you think I’m innocent.’

‘Of course I do!’ Mavis burst out. ‘I know you’d never hurt anyone.’

‘The fact that you believe in me means a lot.’

‘Tommy, it isn’t just me who believes in you. We all do, my mum, Pete, Stan and Jenny, and so many others. I’m sure the police will realise that you’re innocent soon and then you’ll be home.’

‘I don’t think so, Mavis.’ Tommy sighed deeply. ‘We have to face it, I might not be out of here for a long time. They’ve got reason to keep me here. I don’t have any alibis for that night, you know that. Mavis, look at me. I hate to say this but they could find me guilty even though I’ve done nothing.’

‘No, Tommy!’

‘There are plenty of people in here who haven’t done what they’re accused of. Things don’t always work the way they should. You have to be prepared for me to be in here a long time. If they find me guilty …’

‘Tommy!’ Mavis was close to crying now, trying hard not to because she didn’t want to upset him more than he was already, but the thought was so overwhelming that she couldn’t help herself and tears began to roll down her cheeks. ‘No, that won’t happen, you aren’t guilty and they can’t lock you up for something you didn’t do. I need you back home, and the children keep asking where you are. You have to get out of here. I can’t live without you.’

‘Mavis.’ Tommy swallowed hard. ‘Mavis, listen to me. You don’t want to be an old maid, shackled to a lifer. I love you more than I can say but I don’t want to think of you on your own because of me. Maybe we should call it a day and then you can find someone else, make a go of your life rather than sitting around waiting for me when I might not get out. I’m saying it because I love you, not because I want to get rid of you, but I can’t forgive myself for ruining your life.’

Mavis gasped then sat up straight and looked him in the eye, her sobs subsiding. ‘Never, Tommy. I don’t want anyone else and if I can’t have you, I’d rather be on my own. There’s no one else for me and there never will be. You’re the man I love more than life itself, so don’t ever say anything like that to me again. I’ll love you forever, whatever happens.’ She put her hand to her neck out of habit, but there was nothing there.

‘Your locket. It’s gone.’ Tommy realised at once what she was reaching for.

Mavis could have kicked herself. She didn’t want to add to his worries but she’d been found out. ‘I’m so sorry, Tommy. We had to pawn it. You know we couldn’t raise your bail money because of Pete’s work problems. Well, it wasn’t just because they set it at such a huge amount. It’s because his firm is probably going bust and we’re struggling to pay for the house. So Mum took everything valuable to the pawn shop and that got us enough to tide us over. But I will get the locket back as soon as I can, honest.’

‘Blimey, that’s a relief. I thought you might have taken it off because you’d gone off me,’ Tommy tried to joke.

‘Never, Tommy,’ Mavis replied fiercely. ‘Don’t you ever think that! I didn’t want you to find out about our money problems, or that we might lose the house. You’ve got enough on your plate.’

Tommy shook his head. ‘It’s not looking good, is it? Pete’s going bust and so am I. Jerry wrote to say all the work I was getting has dried up now I’m in here. Word has got round and everyone’s turning their back on the firm. Nobody wants to be tainted by scandal. All those leads I had before we went to Devon, all those promising new contacts have faded away. My name is ruined now. All those years of working to get the firm set up and it’s disappearing before my eyes like water down a plug hole. Even if I do get out of here, I’ll be back to square one and with hardly a penny to my name.’

Mavis tossed back her hair. ‘I don’t care, Tommy. Rich or poor, as long as we’re together, I’ll be happy.’ Instinctively she reached for him but once again the guard’s voice brought her up short. ‘No personal contact, madam. Anyway your time is up.’

Mavis reluctantly rose to go, another sob breaking through. ‘Oh Tommy. I’ll come again. I love you.’

‘I love you too, Mavis,’ said Tommy, his dark eyes full of pain. ‘I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.’

The guard came forward and began to usher Mavis towards the door. She turned, dashed the tears from her cheeks and said, inwardly praying she was right, ‘Don’t give up, we’re going to get you out of here.’

Tommy watched her go, and had Mavis turned back for a second time before the door closed, she would have seen the look of utter despair on Tommy’s face.

Chapter Thirty

Despite everything that was going wrong in her life, Mavis found herself laughing the next evening when Rhona came round to see her. ‘Did I hear you right? You’re asking me advice about a man? Surely that has got to be a first.’

‘Mavis, I’m serious,’ Rhona said. ‘I know it must sound funny, but I don’t know what to do. I can usually tell if a bloke likes me or not, but Jeff is different and I can’t read him at all. Oh, I know he likes me as a friend, but I’m not used to that. Men usually make it obvious that they fancy me, but not Jeff. Of course it could be that I’ve lost a lot of weight and I’m too skinny now, but I’m going to put that right.’ She paused to take a bite of the cake Mavis had made and with a mouthful she mumbled. ‘Mmmm, this this is gorgeous, Mave, you have got to give me the recipe.’

‘You never cook,’ Mavis pointed out. She felt better for having her friend round. Something about Rhona made her shake off the all-enveloping despair that was always one heartbeat away these days, and to believe that there might be light at the end of the tunnel after all.

‘I’ll give it to my mum. She keeps going on about feeding me up. Anyway, where was I? Well, I was round Jeff’s place, and he’s teaching me these guitar chords, and he practically has his arm round me, but then … nothing. He just stands back and we go on practising music. I’m really confused.’

Mavis leant forward and put down her own plate. ‘Maybe he respects you and wants to get to know you a bit first.’

Rhona pursed her lips in thought. ‘Maybe. But he was so close! I could have kissed him. I nearly did but something held me back.’

‘What was it, do you think?’

‘It’s hard to say. I mean, Jeff didn’t have to get that close to me, so he must have wanted to, but I’m so unsure of myself when I’m with him.’ Rhona tutted impatiently. ‘Oh, I don’t know why he’s getting to me like this. He’s not really my type. He’s a bit quiet and his clothes are nothing special and yet … I can’t quite describe it. He’s really cute, but just not the type of bloke I’m used to. When I’m with him I feel different. He’s teaching me the guitar, and is so patient with me, but unlike most blokes who just want to get me into bed, Jeff doesn’t ask for anything back. It makes me feel … I don’t know. Special. Like I’m worth something.’

Mavis paused for a moment. ‘You know, I’ve never really put it into words but that’s how I feel when I’m with Tommy.’ Her voice caught on the last word.

‘Oh, I’m sorry!’ Rhona cried. ‘How stupid of me, boring you with my love-life problems when you must be worried sick about Tommy. I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘You haven’t,’ Mavis assured her. ‘I’m glad you’re here. I haven’t seen you for ages, and it takes me out of myself for a bit. I’m flattered you’ve asked for my advice. God knows I haven’t got much experience with men. I married Alec, and what a mistake that was. Then I met Tommy and it’s true, I do feel differently about myself when I’m with him. He makes me feel safe, treasured, cared for, and even now, when just about everything has gone wrong and we are being forced apart, I still feel like that when I think of him. I love him, Rhona, and I always will.’

Rhona gazed out of the window in thought. The curtains were still open but it was nearly dark and she could see the lights on in the houses opposite. Normal daily life was going on, and yet she was full of an emotion she’d never encountered before. She got up and stood by the window, staring out. ‘I don’t know what to do. I always knew exactly how to handle men before. It was easy. Flirt a bit, let them buy you a drink, giggle, laugh at their jokes, hope they’d be able to get you in to clubs and concerts. Nice and straightforward, good clean fun. Now I feel so unsure of myself. What if he really only wants me as a friend?’

Mavis’s eyes widened. It didn’t seem possible that there was a man on earth who’d be immune to Rhona. ‘Has he never asked you out? Not even for a drink?’

‘Well …’ Rhona remembered the phone call that Sunday evening. ‘Sort of. But that was because we had to meet up to discuss a mutual friend.’ She hadn’t told Mavis what had happened to Penny because it wasn’t her secret to reveal.

‘But you did go out?’

‘Yeah, we had a few drinks in the pub then went home, separately. He didn’t try to kiss me or anything.’

‘Maybe that was his way of trying to get to know you first,’ Mavis suggested. ‘Did you enjoy talking to him?’