A Family to Be (Saddle Falls) (7 page)

He could only
feel.

So many emotions, feelings, needs, desires. They all rose to the surface at once in a kaleidoscope that nearly blotted out the warning bells clanging in his head.

This was not the kiss of a friend, he realized, as Em’s mouth softened beneath his, accepting his mouth, his kiss.

Her arms unconsciously snaked around Josh. Em was so stunned that every thought, every protest, she thought to utter fled from her head, replaced instead by a string of feelings so strong she felt as if the world tipped under her feet again.

But this time it had nothing to do with her condition.

Em moaned softly, then tightened her arms around Josh, tangling her fingers in the lush silk of his hair, savoring the softness. When he pulled her body closer until there was barely room for a breath between them. Em’s sigh was half longing, half need.

“Em.” He said only her name; that was all he was capable of as he set her away from him, visibly shaken by the feelings rampaging through him.

What on earth was the matter with him? This was Em. His best friend. His
pregnant
best friend. He had no business treating her like a…woman, kissing her like a…
woman.

What was happening to him? he wondered, more frightened by his actions than he’d been in a long time. Em trusted him, as a friend should, and he never wanted to do anything to jeopardize that trust.

“I’ll see you tonight.” Anxious to get away so he could examine what had just happened in private, he gently touched a finger to her cheek, wanting to touch her again, just once, before he turned and walked away, leaving Em standing there stunned.

What on earth had just happened? Em wondered. She let her eyes close. She wasn’t sure, but all she knew was that it had been wonderful.

“Hormones,” she assured herself. “That’s all it was. No sense getting alarmed.” She wasn’t attracted to Josh any longer. She wasn’t interested in him any longer. She’d been over him for years. Besides, she couldn’t afford to allow herself to be attracted or interested in
any
man. She wasn’t about to forget the lesson she’d learned; she wasn’t about to jeopardize her own future as well as the baby’s by relying on or falling in love with a man. The idea was just ludicrous enough to make her smile.

“It was just hormones, Em,” she said, satisfied she’d solved the mystery of why she’d responded to Josh’s more-than-friendly kiss. “Just hormones,” she repeated as she pulled open the diner door, prepared to forget the incident and go back to work.

By the time Em locked the door to the diner that evening, she was absolutely certain she could sleep for a month. She was utterly exhausted, her feet were burning as if they were on fire, her back was throbbing and she could barely keep her eyes open.

But, she thought, as she climbed into her car, she’d made it. Another day done and no doubt every day after would get better.

Certain of it, Em turned on the radio, humming along as she drove home, glancing around at the familiar, pretty little town where she’d grown up.

As she passed the Saddle Falls Park, she grinned remembering all the holiday barbecues and softball games the town had sponsored. Right next to it was the Saddle Falls High School where she and just about everyone else in town had attended. With the window open and the January air streaming through the car, Em smiled and waved at Sheriff Fitzpatrick as he climbed into his squad car.

It felt good to be home, she thought, flipping on her turn indicator. She finally felt as if she had a purpose in life, a reason to go on every day. She patted her belly. “You make it all worthwhile, Baby Cakes,” she whispered with a smile.

Although she’d managed to tackle the everyday tasks of running the diner, there was still plenty to do before the baby came. She had to meet with her father’s accountant and get a fix on the books and the bills. She also had to finally unpack her few meager belongings, something she’d neglected to do in the week since she’d been home simply because she was just too tired.

And then she had to think about redecorating the house. It was too dark and dismal right now. She wanted to make things light and bright, to erase the painful memories of her own childhood and recreate happier ones for herself and her child.

And then there was the nursery to consider, she thought with a grin as she abruptly pulled over to the curb in front of a meticulous two-story white frame house with a beautiful meandering porch.

But first, there was something she had to do right now.

She slipped out of the car, glanced around, then dashed across the street, praying Sheriff Fitzpatrick wasn’t patrolling this particular street. Mrs. Richards, the house’s owner, still had the most beautiful garden in town, Em thought, as she raced back to the car.

After glancing in her rearview mirror, she pulled into the street, then began humming along with the radio again. She’d have to start shopping—window shopping at least—for baby furniture. She wanted the nursery to be perfect—a welcoming place of warmth and love for her child. The mere thought filled her with such joy she was absolutely certain she could probably float home.

As she reached the top of her driveway, Em frowned. Dusk was settling in, bathing the area in long, brown shadows. But even from here, she could see there were lights on in the house.

Lights.

As if someone was in the house waiting to welcome her home. It gave her an odd feeling, one she’d never had before.

As she pulled the car to a stop, she glanced out the window again, then heaved a sigh of relief when she saw Josh’s snazzy red sports car parked close to the house. Josh, she thought with a smile. Perfect.

He must have come over early. Absently, she touched a finger to her mouth, and would have sworn she could still feel the touch of his lips on hers. As far as kisses went, that one would rank right up there with the all-time greats, she realized. It was a good thing it was Josh who’d planted one on her. If she’d have had such an instantaneous female reaction to anyone else, she’d be heartily worried right now.

But Josh was a friend, and it was just a friendly kiss between friends, she thought, not wanting to give it any more credence than that. Certainly nothing for her to worry about. She wasn’t about to lose her heart or her head. Not at this late stage, and certainly not with Josh. She’d learned her lesson once. And she wasn’t about to read anything more into a friendly kiss between pals, certain he had probably forgotten about it by now.

Grabbing her purse, her uniform and the flowers she’d swiped from Mrs. Richards’s garden, Em let herself out of the car and hurried up the porch steps.

Josh opened the door before she even got to it.

“Hi,” he said, reaching for her uniform and her purse bundled in her hands.

“Hi yourself,” she said with a smile, realizing how glad she was to see him. It was nice coming home and having somewhere here, she thought. Very nice.

“Nice roses,” he said with a lift of his brow. “Got a secret admirer I don’t know about?” He ignored the streak of jealously that tore through him at the mere thought.

“Nope,” she said with a grin, glancing up at him. “I stole them,” she admitted shamelessly.

“Stole them?” With a lift of his brow, Josh merely stared at her, then his glance lowered to the roses. “Mrs. Richards’s garden?”

“Yep,” she admitted with a laugh.

“Em, you know if she catches you, she’s going to call—”

“Josh, they’re for you,” she said, a bit embarrassed as she thrust the roses at him.

“For me?” Touched beyond measure, and totally confused since he’d never gotten flowers from a woman before, Josh’s brow went up again, making her grin. “And exactly what on earth did I do to deserve roses?”

“Nothing,” she said with a grin. Unable to resist, she stepped closer to lay a hand on his chest. “And everything,” she added softly, only confusing him more. She had to swallow the lump in her throat in order to continue. She knew Josh was just being Josh, trying to look out for her and protect her, and she felt horrendously guilty about the way she’d treated him. She shouldn’t have jumped all over him about Jake and Ernie; she should have just understood that it was going to take some time for Josh to get used to the fact that she was an adult now, fully capable of taking care of herself. Still, that didn’t mean she had to be rude to him. “Josh, look I know I’ve been a bit…”

“Cranky?” he supplied helpfully, making her grin widen.

“Yeah, cranky and I’ve probably also been a bit…”

“Testy,” he helpfully supplied again, his grin firmly in place.

“Yeah, that, too,” she admitted with a grin of her own, dragging her hair out of her eyes.

Josh shrugged. “You’re pregnant, Em, it’s to be expected. I understand that pregnancy can play havoc with your emotions.” He shrugged again. “I haven’t taken anything personally.”

“Good,” she said in relief, realizing she couldn’t let it go at that. For her own peace of mind, she had to apologize, had to let him know how much she appreciated him and everything he’d done. “Josh, I don’t think I was being fair to you,” she said. She blew out a breath, wanting to set things right between them. “Josh, you and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, and you know I care about you and would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Em, I’d never do anything to hurt you, either,” he said softly, his gaze going over her face. She looked exhausted. Exuberant, but exhausted, nonetheless. He couldn’t help but feel a strong admiration for her. She was handling her situation with dignity and aplomb and he couldn’t have been prouder of her.

“I know. It’s just that I want you to know that I really do appreciate all of your concern and your help, even if I haven’t exactly acted like it.” She stepped closer. “It means a great deal to me Josh, especially now, in light of the circumstances.” She laid a hand over her belly, before glancing up at him, a gloss of tears shimmering in her eyes. “Josh, I promise I’ll try to stop feeling so defensive just because you’re concerned about me and the baby.”

“Em?”

“What?” She blinked up at him, then sniveled.

“Speaking of defensive.” With a grin, he held up the roses. “Since I’ve just accepted stolen property, that makes me an accessory after the fact. So when Sheriff Fitzpatrick arrests us, we’re both going to need a defense attorney.”

She laughed, realizing Josh was telling her all was forgiven. “Thanks, Josh.” Relieved, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. The scent of his cologne infiltrated her senses, making her sigh.

She looked into his eyes and saw so many things she’d never seen in a man’s eyes before, not even her husband’s.

Kindness. Caring. Concern.

They moved her and made her feel more ashamed than ever for her behavior toward him, and more determined not to let her fear over letting a man get close to her override her common sense.

Again.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I thought I’d just come straight here and get started,” Josh said, shutting the door behind her. He headed toward the kitchen to put the roses in water.

“Get started?” she repeated, crossing the room and dropping down onto the couch and lifting her sore, tired legs atop the coffee table. She glanced toward the kitchen, then sighed at the thought of all the work that needed to be done to get the house ready for the baby, to make it a real home, the kind she’d always wanted. “Get started doing what?” she called.

“Get started checking the house out and helping you get it ready for the baby.” Dressed in work jeans that had tiny little holes at the corner of the pockets and were worn white in several spots, along with a white T-shirt splattered here and there with paint, she was absolutely certain Josh had never looked more gorgeous.

Good thing they were just friends, she thought, eyeing him carefully. Or else she’d truly have a hard time not…jumping him.

“You’re—you’re going to help me?” she asked in stunned surprise, remembering when she’d told him the other day that she wanted to fix up the house before the baby came.

Absently, he scratched his stubbled chin, his eyes twinkling. “No, Em, I thought I’d stand by and watch you do it all by yourself. Jake and Jared offered to help as well.” He ruffled her hair, then took a good look at her. “Rough day?” he asked, sitting next to her.

“No, just long.” She grinned. “I’ll get used to it. It feels good to be doing something positive, Josh. Even if every bone and muscle in my body is screaming with fatigue.”

“Turn around,” he instructed, turning her so that her back was to him. He began to massage her sore, aching shoulders and Em’s eyes closed and she moaned in pleasure.

“Oh, Josh, that’s positively sinful.”

He grinned. “Feel good?”

“Better than good.” She forced her eyes open. “Keep this up and you can hire yourself out. Give up the paltry funds you make lawyering, and you could get rich hiring yourself out as a masseur.”

“Now there’s a thought,” he said, pretending to give it serious consideration before moving his hands to the tight muscles in her neck.

“This is blissful,” she said with a sigh, enjoying the touch of his hands on her skin. Her body.

Unable to speak, she merely let several little groans slip from her as he continued to work the tightness and the tension from her neck and shoulders.

“So…how’s it going?” He was so close, she could feel his sweet, warm breath fan the back of her bare neck. It sent a shiver racing over her as well as an ache she couldn’t quite get a handle on at the moment since she was far too distracted.

“Mmm, good,” she murmured without turning around. “Really good. That is if you don’t count the tray of salads I dropped—”

“Ah, not your fault, Em. I’d say that was interference,” he said, admitting his part and massaging small circles into her lower neck,

“And then of course, this afternoon I accidentally dumped a bowl of chili on old man Weaver.”

“Can’t think of a better place for it,” he admitted absently, fascinated by the silky skin at the nape of her neck.