Braced over her with shaking arms, his dog tag hanging to nestle between her gorgeous breasts, John watched her emotions cross her face. He slid all the way into her with one hard stroke. Holding himself deep and absorbing her warmth, he drew in a shuddering breath and prayed for control.
Maureen cupped his face with her hands. She leaned closer and kissed his lips. Gently, sweetly. Then those hands slid down his torso and grabbed his ass. As she wrapped her legs around his back and said, “Love me,” she wasn’t so gentle or sweet anymore.
Oh yeah. He could do that. He moved his hips, setting a slow, steady rhythm that didn’t last long. His speed increased, building along with her cries. She gripped his ass harder, pulled him deep and came again with a shuttering spasm that he felt through to his very core.
As long and hard as he’d wished for this, imagined loving her just like this, he was amazed he’d lasted as long as he did. When she came, shattering around him, squeezing and pulsing around his more than ready and willing cock, he followed right behind her.
It was amazing. They were amazing together. And they had two whole days.
There was a good chance they wouldn’t be leaving the bed. Except maybe to try out the whirlpool tub, or the shower with the very tempting massaging head. Or maybe that desk in the corner. And there was that nice, wide, cushioned chair…
Chapter Nineteen
Late that night, John’s cell phone on the nightstand beeped once, indicating a new text message. He groaned and mumbled a curse. Rolling away from Maureen, he hoped against hope it wasn’t Miller calling him in for a surprise midnight training mission. Whatever it was, it better be something important to pull him away from Maureen’s warm body.
She sighed next to him and he cursed the unknown texter again as he flipped open the phone and hit the view button.
“John? Is something wrong? You don’t have to leave, do you?” Sounding worried, she struggled against sleep to sit.
He rolled back toward her naked, beautiful self and smiled, wrapping her completely in his arms. “No, baby. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just from Gonzo in Germany. He’s saying hello from all the guys.”
“Oh. That’s nice.” Her words didn’t match the sadness in her eyes as they filled with tears.
“Maureen. What’s wrong?” He held her closer and pressed a kiss into her hair. John felt hot tears wet his bare chest as Maureen shuddered against him. “What is it? Why are you crying?”
“I don’t want you to go back to Iraq or Germany or wherever the hell they decide to send you. It’s so far away from me and they can send you for as long as they want to and something bad can happen.” Her voice high-pitched, she shook harder against him. “I want to be a supportive military girlfriend, but I just got you and you have to go away again. And I don’t even know if I am your girlfriend.”
She drew in a loud shuddering gasp and his heart broke. He couldn’t keep stringing her out like this, yet what could he do?
He couldn’t tell her he was here for some secret training mission. He couldn’t tell her he’d be stationed in North Carolina permanently if he took the position that might be offered him on the special task force.
Or could he? He didn’t know.
John only knew one thing—he was going to find out and as soon as possible.
There was one thing he could relieve her mind about though. “You
are
my girlfriend. At least as far as I’m concerned, and for as long as you want to be. As for the rest, the best thing I can tell you is don’t worry until there’s something to worry about.”
“But I’m leaving tomorrow. You don’t know when or where you’ll be going. I don’t know when or if I’ll see you again. What if…what if what happened to Jazzy happens to you, but worse?”
“Don’t think like that.” What could he say? She was right. Being a soldier was definitely not the safest occupation on earth. Then again, he could be an accountant and get killed crossing the street on the way to his nice, safe desk job.
“Please be careful and come back to me. I love you.” Maureen’s words came out on a big sob.
John’s stomach did a flip. This had always been the time in his past relationships where he’d backpedaled. Run away and found some excuse to never look back. Not this time.
“I love you too.” He had for a while. He’d just had trouble believing it was possible when they hadn’t even met in person yet. “And I’ll do everything humanly possible to make sure I come back to you.”
“You better. I need you.” She grabbed him in a breath-stealing hug and kissed him hard.
He needed her as much as she needed him. Her life, her vitality, her heart…she gave them all willingly and he took it all.
John kissed her hair, her face, her mouth. “I love you,” he repeated between each kiss.
Rolling her onto her back, John kissed her more completely, his tongue sliding into her mouth, showing her exactly how he wanted to slide back into her body, now and forever.
He was about to reach for a condom when he tasted her tears and her shaking began again.
“What is it, baby? Why are you crying again?”
“I don’t want to leave you tomorrow.”
He didn’t want her to either.
“Listen to me. It’s much too soon for what I’m about to say, but life is far too short and uncertain to waste time. I don’t know where I will end up, what country, what assignment. But I know I want you there with me wherever it is.” He sighed, hearing how selfish his words were. “I can’t ask you to give up your job and move for me—”
“Yes, you can. I can. I hate my boss. I hate my job. I may get the monthly magazine column, and even if I don’t I’m now making enough money from my books I can write full-time or take jobs freelance editing. With the Internet, I can do all that anywhere. Here in North Carolina. Overseas in Germany. Anywhere, as long as I can be near you.”
John reached over his head and pulled off his dog tag. He could order another set if he went back to Germany, and if he joined Zeta there’d be no more dog tags for him. Black OPS didn’t wear identification since, in essence, they didn’t exist.
“I want you to have this. It’s my promise to you. Not exactly gold or diamonds, but—” John slid the chain over her head and wondered what the pay scale was like for Zeta as he sized up what gold or diamonds he could afford on his current salary.
“It’s better.” She cried harder but they looked more like happy tears than sad ones, so he didn’t try and stop her.
As she clutched the tag around her throat and clung with one arm to his neck, he vowed that tomorrow he would go see Miller. He’d ask what exactly he was supposed to tell Maureen, because if joining this spook squad meant having to give her up his answer would have to be no.
“Blake. Good to see you. Sit down. Your week isn’t quite up yet, but I take it since you asked for a meeting you’ve made a decision.”
“No, sir. Not quite. I have one more question first before I can make a decision.”
“Of course. Shoot.”
“I’d like to know the task force policy on girlfriends.”
Miller raised a graying brow. “The policy on girlfriends. I’m not sure we have one. What precisely is the question, Blake? I’ll see if I can make one up for you.”
John wasn’t in the mood for Miller’s smartass comments, commanding officer or not. Not after having spent a night trying to stop Maureen from crying while not being able to tell her the truth about this assignment. And he still had to drop her off at the airport later that day. He was pretty sure they were in for a teary goodbye on both their parts.
“Are team members allowed to have girlfriends, sir?”
It sounded ridiculous to have to ask. He was an adult man in a country that supposedly protected all individual’s rights, but what the hell did John know about the policies of covert teams? Hell, they surgically implanted God only knew how many devices inside their own people. They could tell him to do anything, and he would be required to do it.
If
he decided to join, that is.
“Of course you can have a girl, Blake. Damn, the guys on the team with women in their lives give me a lot less trouble than the guys without.” Miller laughed. “Except for when Jimmy Gordon got his face plastered all over the front page of the local papers for dating the governor’s daughter. Hmm. Then there was the time Williams and Jack Gordon came to blows over this cute little bartender who owns the bar off base. Actually, maybe we do need a no-girlfriend policy.”
This was all very entertaining, but didn’t really answer John’s question.
“You can get that look off your face and relax, Blake. I apologize. I was joking. Yes, you can have a girlfriend. You can even have a wife and kids if you choose, though preferably not at the same time as when you have a girlfriend. And let me anticipate your next burning question. What are you allowed to tell her about your job?”
John nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Simple. You have been re-assigned to a unit stateside.”
“And what will I tell her that assignment is?”
Being a writer, Maureen tended to be a question asker.
Miller laughed. “The fact the teams exist isn’t so much of a secret as what they do. You keep the details of your assignments out of your pillow talk with your girl and we’ll all be good. Got it? If you have any specific questions, the team leader on the op can answer them for you as the need arises.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.” John felt an overwhelming sense of relief.
Commander Miller sat silently, waiting and watching. The man was good. John bet he usually got what he wanted just by waiting the other guy out.
He met the older man’s eyes. “If it’s being offered to me, I accept the assignment to Zeta, sir.”
That brought a smile to Miller’s face. “Glad to hear it, Blake. Welcome to Zeta.”
John only hoped Maureen would be as glad as Miller was.
There were perks to the position. He’d be stationed in North Carolina instead of Germany. He wouldn’t be redeployed to Iraq or to Afghanistan with his tank platoon. But Zeta could send him anywhere to do anything. John had a feeling that could be a whole lot worse than being tucked safely into the belly of a beast of an armored tank, even one that was being shot at.
Given the chances they took regularly, why exactly did the guys on Zeta look so happy? That was a question he’d like answered.
Miller stood and gripped John’s hand warmly. “Tonight, you get initiated.”
Uh oh.
John hesitated to even imagine what sort of initiation rituals they had in the Black OPS.
Damn.
“Uh, okay.” He hoped he wouldn’t be running for his life through the woods while they used him for target practice.
“You a drinker, Blake?”
Would his initiation be a test of how much he could drink? Why did he feel suddenly like he was pledging a college fraternity? “I’ve been known to enjoy a drink now and then, sir. We weren’t allowed a drop in the sandbox though.”
“Of course. Luckily you’re not in the sandbox anymore. Be at the bar just outside the back gate, twenty-one-hundred sharp. The team will be waiting for you there.” Miller broke into a grin. “You’ve now got six brand new best friends. Better get used to the idea.”
Good, maybe they could tell John how to stop looking for Jazzy, Morales and Gonzo every time he turned around. Or what to do about the fact he was head over heels in love and about to cohabitate with a woman he’d only officially met that weekend.
Hell, these guys were all experts at something, and he was now one of them. The seven of them—eight counting Miller—should be able to come up with some answers to his questions.
For the first time in his life, John had faith that everything would work out fine. It was an extremely odd feeling.
Chapter Twenty
“Hey. Everything go all right at your meeting?” She closed the hotel room door behind him, concern evident on her angelic face.
John scooped Maureen up and held her close to him, planting a huge kiss on her mouth before he answered. “Everything went great.”
He liked opening the door and finding her waiting for him. Any nerves or doubts about his decision flew out the window as he carried her to the bed. He laid her there, bent down and nipped at her lower lip.
They had a couple of hours before they had to leave for the airport, and he had every intention of taking full advantage of that time. He didn’t dare utter the word airport out loud though. It never failed to make Maureen cry. Maybe after he told her he’d be staying in North Carolina that wouldn’t be the case any longer.
He couldn’t wait to reveal his news, but there was something else he couldn’t wait to do even more. “I want you naked.”
“Okay.” She laughed.
Laughing himself at her easy acceptance of his demands, he shook his head and moved away from her so he could get undressed. “Are you sure you want to be with me? I’m apparently a bit of a sex maniac.”
As John sat in the chair next to the bed and unlaced his boots, Maureen’s eyebrows rose. “If you weren’t I’d probably get angry and wonder what was wrong with me.”
He let the boots fall one by one and then stood to unbutton his pants. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Believe me. Except that you’re still dressed.”