A Field of Poppies (28 page)

****

Vic Payton was at the service, sitting four pews from the front and paying little attention to the service. His gaze was fixed on the back of Poppy’s head and on the slight slump of her shoulders. He felt her sadness all the way to his bones. He knew what it felt like to lose a parent, but the pain he was feeling now had to do with losing her. Even though he’d never had a relationship with Poppy, it didn’t mean he hadn’t wanted one. It was hell loving someone who didn’t love you back. When all the chaos in her life subsided he was going to give it one more try, and then if she still wasn’t interested, he would look elsewhere.

****

John sat in stoic silence beside his sister, but he felt all eyes were on him, judging him and finding him lacking for what he’d left undone. It would be years, if ever, before he got past the guilt. He’d apologized to his mom. He’d apologized to Poppy. He’d even made a vow to his dad to help find his killer. But what he really needed was absolution from the all-knowing, all-seeing God. He looked up at the preacher, then beyond to the stained glass window bearing the image of a bleeding Jesus hanging from the cross.

Forgive me.

He didn’t expect to get an actual answer, but oddly enough humbling himself enough to ask seemed to help.

All of a sudden he heard Pastor Harvard begin to pray and was shocked the entire service was coming to a close and he couldn’t remember a single word that had come out of the preacher’s mouth.

A few moments later they opened the casket.

Poppy moaned.

He caught her as she bent double, afraid she was going to topple out onto the floor. Her shoulders were shaking, but she wasn’t making a sound.

“
Sister,” he said softly, lifting her up.

Poppy fell into his arms. She couldn’t face the sympathy and pity on the people’s faces and not lose her mind. Like a coward, she let John bear the burden while the congregation began to file past the casket on their way out of the church. She felt their presence - the gentle touches on her shoulder - the whispered words of comfort - but she wouldn’t – she couldn’t look up.

****

Both the trip to the cemetery and the trip back to the church were all a blur. Poppy remembered coming in out of the cold and feeling warm air on her feet, then looking down and seeing the petal from a flower stuck to the skirt of her dress. Someone thrust a plate in her hand, herded her toward a table and she hadn’t moved since, letting the conversation flow around her while she stirred through the food and sipped her drink.

John was more at ease visiting with everyone, but he was never far away. She just wanted the day to be over. She wanted to go home. She needed to get past the sight of her mama’s casket being lowered into that hole, of hearing the first clods of dirt falling onto the lid and knowing all she had left of her now were the memories. Sunny Roberts had been dead for years. Helen Sadler finally caught up.

Chapter Seventeen

Justin arrived at the cemetery with flowers for Deborah’s grave, but the visit was all a ruse. Today his dearly departed wife was getting a little pay-back. He was using her as an excuse to be on site when the hearse arrived with Sunny’s casket. It seemed fair, considering how she’d used him.

It was one of those crisp fall mornings when the air was still and the sky was so blue and clear it appeared to go on forever. It was a good day to lay a sweet soul to rest.

He rolled the windows down in his car then leaned back and closed his eyes. The faint screech of a hawk sounded somewhere high above him, and off to the right he could hear the distant thump of one of the powerful engines down at the paper mill. Nature and progress, always at odds in the world.

He sat without moving, absorbing the quiet and gathering strength for the battle with his mother that lay ahead. She was a strong, conniving woman who had always gotten her way, and just because she’d aged, did not mean she’d grown weaker.

He couldn’t change the past, and there was the chance he could lose one daughter while trying to make amends to another. It would mean airing dirty laundry and giving up his pride. It was a small price to pay to give Callie a kidney and better Poppy Sadler’s life.

By the time the procession of cars from the funeral began to arrive he was braced. As they pulled up on the next path over and began to park, he got out with his flowers and began walking toward the place where Deborah was buried.

He knew there were enough mourners already gathering for Sunny’s service that his presence would not be noticed, and even if it was, the assumption that he was there for his wife rather than someone else’s would be automatic.

When he reached Deborah’s grave, he looked back. There was a moment of real physical pain when he saw the pallbearers carrying Sunny’s casket to the open grave. A part of him was dying, too.

Then he saw her children. He’d never seen the stepson before, but quickly recognized the bond between them as they clung to each other in shared despair. It was strange to realize he’d seen Poppy Sadler off and on for years without knowing who she was. He’d admired her manner and the quiet confidence with which she carried herself as she worked. It was daunting now to look at her and know that she was also his – and that she’d been made from the young love and passion that he and Sunny had shared. Before he’d only seen her as another young woman, but now he was looking for shared similarities. He wanted her to turn around. But when she sat down beside her brother, the crowd of mourners moved between them and she disappeared from view.

He glanced down at Deborah’s grave then gave the flowers he’d brought with him a toss. They landed slightly askew up against her tombstone.

“
So Deborah, I thought you might like to know your naughty little secret is finally out. I’d like to be pissed, but it appears I am not one to be casting stones. Rest assured that Callie is still my beloved daughter in every sense of the word, but I am not committed to lies as the rest of you were. I will walk over as many bodies as it takes to find the other side of her family, and I will, by God, get her well.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away. Preacher Harvard was saying a prayer as Justin drove away, and by the time the first clod of dirt landed on Sunny’s casket he was back in the office.

****

It was after 5:00 p.m. by the time Justin got to the hospital. He’d taken Callie’s IPod home the night before and was bringing it back with new uploaded songs, via the list she’d given him, along with a pint of her favorite ice cream and extra spoons. The urge to take every day as a gift and ride it all the way to sundown had been made all too clear on this day. Since tomorrows came with no guarantee, today was about music and ice cream.

He got off the elevator and headed down the hall toward her room knowing his mother was there. He was ready for battle and walked in without knocking to find Callie and Amelia playing cards.

“
Hey, pretty girl! I hope you’re trouncing your Nana good.”

Callie smiled. “Daddy! Nana said you were too busy to come in today. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Justin glanced at his mother and smiled. He’d just caught her in yet another a lie. At least she had the grace to flush.

“
Oh, Nana doesn’t know everything about me,” he said, then laughed, knowing Amelia would get the inference without anyone else being the wiser. “I brought your IPod back with all the new uploaded songs, and...” He held up a sack. “Guess what else?”

Callie laughed. “I don’t know, but I hope it’s not a puppy ‘cause the bottom of the sack is getting wet.”

Justin laughed. Even Amelia was forced to smile.

“
No puppies. Just your favorite ice cream!”

“
Yay!!! Cookie dough with chocolate chips?”

“
Yep, and three spoons. One for you and two for me.”

She laughed again. “You are such a pig, Daddy. One for me, one for you, and one for Nana.”

“
Oh. Okay, it’s your treat. I’m just the delivery boy.”

He took the lid off the pint then grabbed a clean washcloth from the shelf by the sink, wrapped it around the carton and handed it to her, along with a spoon.

He made a production of bowing toward Amelia to give her the plastic spoon as if he were a page at court presenting silver to a queen.

“
Mother dear, your spoon.”

Amelia met his gaze with a show of bravado, although it was obvious she was at a loss as to what was going on. She’d expected anger, not this.

“
Thank you,” she said.

As soon as he’d forced her to meet his gaze, he immediately shifted focus and ignored her.

“
Is it good, baby?” Justin asked, smiling at the joy on his daughter’s face.

Callie rolled her eyes, nodding slowly as she let the first bite melt in her mouth.

Justin winked as he dug his spoon into the carton and scooped out a big bite, leaving Amelia to her own resources. As far as he was concerned, she could use it to eat ice cream, or shove it up her ass.

Amelia took a small bite and then slipped it between her lips, but it might as well been medicine. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that the other shoe was about to drop. She listened to the continuing chit-chat between father and child, well aware she was an obvious outsider to their funny banter. She was debating with herself about calling Newton to come pick her up when her cell phone suddenly rang.

Finally.

She’d been waiting for Graham Ring to call her back all day. But when she saw Caller ID and realized it was just her hair stylist, she let the call go to voicemail.

Justin saw her frown. “If you want another bite, Mother, you’d better dig in. Looks like Callie’s about to finish it off.”

“
Yes, here Nana, get another bite,” Callie said.

Amelia shook her head. “Thank you, darling, but I’ll pass. I’ve been expecting a call all day. Now that your father is here, I’m going to step out for a bit and check in.”

Justin waved his spoon in the air for punctuation. “Oh, hey! Was it a call from Graham Ring? I’m sorry I didn’t mention it sooner. It seems we both had the same idea this morning. He filled me in. I told him I’d pass the info along.”

Then he smiled.

Amelia froze. The smile. The only reason he would be happy was if Poppy Sadler was actually his.

God in heaven. What do I do now?

Justin tossed his spoon in the trash and then turned so that Callie couldn’t see his face. Although the tone of his voice light, there was no mistaking the warning on his face.

“
Don’t worry,” he said. “You’ve done more than enough. I’ll take it from here.”

Her chin went up in fighting mode as her eyes narrowed angrily, but she too, maintained a normal tone of voice.

“
Fine. I’m going to give Newton a call. I believe I’m ready to call it a day.” She gave Callie a quick smile. “You don’t mind, do you, darling? Nana is still a bit shaky from yesterday.”

“
It’s okay, Nana. Besides, I’ve got my new tunes to listen to and my tummy is happy.”

“
That’s my girl,” Justin said. “Then I’ll leave you to rock out on your own and I’ll give you a call before I go to bed tonight. Okay?”

“
Sure, Daddy,” Callie said, as she dug her ear buds out of the drawer and plugged them into the IPod. She waved goodbye to them both and settled back against her pillows with her foot bouncing beneath the covers in time to a song only she could hear.

Justin turned to Amelia. “So, Mother. It seems we’re excused. I’ll walk you down.”

She shrugged, refusing to admit defeat. “If you wish.”

“
Oh, I wish,” Justin said, as he gripped her firmly by the elbow and all but shoved her out of the room.

They maintained their courtesy to each other all the way down the hall and until they boarded the elevator. Then the moment the doors went shut, Justin had his mother in the corner.

“
I want his name and where he was from.”

“
Wade Lee Tiller. Newport.”

The elevator doors opened. Justin walked off, leaving Amelia behind.

“
Wait,” she called. “This isn’t the lobby.”

“
The air is foul in there. I’m walking the rest of the way down.”

Amelia blanched.

The doors went shut – a symbolic ending to a relationship already in ruins.

****

John parked his truck in the driveway and killed the engine. They were home, but Poppy couldn’t think what to do next. Today had shattered what was left of her sanity. If she moved, she was afraid she would collapse.

John glanced at her profile then got out and opened the passenger side door. Without speaking, he physically lifted her out, then put his arm around her shoulders and walked her into the house.

While they were still at the church Gladys had come down to the house to let the florist drop off all the potted plants. Everything else had been left at the cemetery. The room looked like the mortuary, but without all the weird smells.