A Fox's Maid (25 page)

After dinner Kotohime had offered to clean the dishes, and Lilian had decided to help. It was obvious, even to him, that her reasons for helping Kotohime had less to do with helping, and more to do with speaking to the woman. Kevin didn’t know what they were talking about, but if the hard stare Lilian had been giving the maid meant anything, he was probably better off not knowing.

Kevin looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. By now, he’d grown so used to the way she walked that he knew it was her before the door even opened.

“
Lilian,” he greeted, trying not to let the heat threatening to overflow from his cheeks get past the first few layers of skin. He probably didn’t succeed, but whatever.

The drop-dead gorgeous kitsune had donned a simple light blue spaghetti strap shirt and flannel pajama bottoms of the same color. The shirt outlined her figure well; he could make out hints of her bust and the small dip showed trace amounts of cleavage. And while those pants were incredibly modest―especially for Lilian―somehow, he couldn’t help but think they looked adorable on her.

How can someone so beautiful also be so dang cute?

“
Kevin.” Lilian stopped when she saw him staring. “Do you like my outfit?”

“
Um, yeah, it… it looks really good on you.” This time, Kevin knew he had failed to conceal his blush. His face felt hotter than a furnace. “
Really
good.”

Lilian’s smile caused his heart to skip a beat. “You really think so?”

“
Yes, it’s, well, it looks really cute on you. And the clothing contrasts nicely with your hair. I…” Kevin coughed into his hand. “I really like it.”

“
I’m glad. You know, your mother said the same thing.”

“
Really?”

“
Uh huh. You almost quoted her verbatim―except for the stuttering you did at the end there,” she added with amusement. Kevin tried not to feel embarrassed.

“
Ah, well, consequences of having a mom in the fashion industry, I guess.”

His eyes followed Lilian as she stopped beside him and grabbed a toothbrush.

“
Are you and Kotohime good now?” he asked tentatively.

“
I believe so.” She squeezed some toothpaste onto her toothbrush, turned on the faucet, and held the brush underneath it. “Why do you ask?”

“
No reason.” Feeling more than a little uncomfortable in Lilian’s presence, Kevin quickly finished his nightly ritual and hurried to leave. “I’ll see you in my room.”

“
Okay.”

The last thing Kevin saw of Lilian was the fox-girl brushing her teeth. Then he closed the door behind him and leaned against the frame, his hands clenching into fists.

Why was being in Lilian’s presence so difficult? He wanted to be with her, to bask in her presence, but at the same time, he also wanted to run away. He didn’t understand it. It was maddening!

Why is everything so difficult?

Kevin pressed a hand to his face. He took a deep breath, held it for several seconds, then released it. After that, Kevin began making his way down the hall―

“
Kevin-san.”

―
When a voice spoke up behind him and a hand fell on his shoulder, scaring the crap out of him.

“
Holy flying butt monkeys!”

Spinning around, Kevin’s wide eyes stared at Kotohime. He placed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating against his ribcage like the Yggdrasil Drive of a Knightmare.

“
Holy crap, Kotohime! Don’t do that!”

“
Ara?” Kotohime tilted her head. “Don’t do what?”

“
That! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Kevin closed his eyes as he released a slow, shuddering breath, feeling his heart rate slowly drop back to normal levels. He opened his eyes again and focused on the katana-wielding kitsune. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“
No. But, now that you mention it, I must confess, that does not sound like a bad idea. Maybe if you died of a heart attack, Lilian-sama would be willing to go back home.”

“
Geh!”

Not a bad idea? How could she say something like that, and with such a straight face? Did she really wish he was dead?

“
But I digress,” Kotohime continued as if she hadn’t just told Kevin that she hoped he would drop dead. “I was actually hoping to speak with you before you retire for the night.”

“
Eh?” Her words startled Kevin. Why would she want to speak with him when it was clear she didn’t like him? Or, maybe it was because she didn’t like him that she wanted to speak with him.

He looked at the restroom door. It would be several more minutes before Lilian finished.

He turned his back to Kotohime. “I guess we could talk.”

“
Excellent.” Kotohime clasped her hands together. “Now, if you would just follow me.”

Kevin trailed after Kotohime as she led him through the small hallway, into the living room, and out the front door.

She wants this conversation to be private…

That thought worried him, especially since she still had that katana in her hand. Still, he gamely followed the woman down the stairs. She wouldn’t kill him in such a public area…

…
Right?

“
What do you think of Lilian-sama?”

The question was so sudden that Kevin almost tripped and face-planted on the asphalt. “H-huh?”

“
Do not make me repeat myself.” Kotohime’s hard stare reminded Kevin of a jungle predator ready to pounce. “Just answer the question.”

Kevin was so frightened of Kotohime that he answered her before his mind even caught up with his mouth. “Uh… well, I really like Lilian. I mean, hanging out with her is really fun… and stuff.” Even he winced at his own answer. It was certainly not the most eloquent answer he could have given. To be fair, the question had caught him by complete surprise.

Kotohime apparently didn’t find his answer satisfactory, either.

“
I see.” Kotohime’s stare was reminiscent of sharpened razors. Kevin felt like she could slice him in twine with nothing but a look. “Lilian-sama loves you. I know this, so I know that you know this as well. And yet, despite knowing about her feelings, all you can say is that you like spending time with her? Is that really the best answer you can come up with?”

“
What else do you want me to say?” Kevin asked with a feeling of helpless insecurity.

“
I want you to tell me how you really feel about Lilian-sama. My ward is in love with you. She loves you so much that she is willing to disown herself for your sake. Do you have any idea what that means? A kitsune who has been disowned by their clan is considered a disgrace among kitsune. It’s a sign of weakness. It also means that she would no longer have the protection of her clan, which, for a kitsune like Lilian-sama, is imperative to have. However, she is willing to do this for you. She is willing to go that far because she loves you, and yet you refuse to reciprocate her feelings. Can’t you see how much your indecision is hurting her?”

“
I didn’t know…”

Kotohime scoffed. “Of course you didn’t know. I bet you didn’t even think about how this would affect Lilian-sama. You’re so busy caught up in your own feelings that you won’t even spare a second to consider hers.”

“
That’s not…”

“
And for what? Because you’re too scared to tell her how you really feel? What kind of man are you? A real man would never leave a young woman waiting for an answer after she has confessed. You’re a disgrace to men everywhere!”

Oh, that did it.

“
You think I don’t know that?!” Kevin shouted, glaring at the four-tails. “Do you really think I don’t understand what this means for Lilian? That I haven’t considered her feelings? I know how Lilian feels! And I know that I’m hurting her! You think I like that I can’t make up my mind? That I enjoy causing her pain? I don’t! But this isn’t something I can help! I don’t even know how I feel about her!”

He and Kotohime glared at each other. Kotohime kept silent, surprisingly, allowing him to take a deep, shuddering breath.

“
I’ll admit, I like Lilian. I like her a lot. She’s an amazing person, she’s fun to hang out with, and I’ve never met a girl who shares the same likes and passions as me. Every day I spend with her brings something new and exciting. But to go from liking someone to loving them?” Now it was Kevin’s turn to scoff. “Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t even know what love is.”

Kotohime raised a single, delicate raven colored eyebrow. “But you love your mother, do you not?”

“
That’s completely different,” Kevin snapped. “You can’t

compare the love someone has for their mom to the love they have for their girlfriend, or mate, or whatever. It’s not the same thing. And besides, I’ve never even had a girlfriend before. I’ve only liked one girl before Lilian, and even then, I found out that I didn’t like her as much as I thought I did.”

Kotohime crossed her arms under her chest, drawing attention to her katana, which she held in her left hand. “What are you trying to say, exactly?”

Kevin raked his fingers through messy locks of blond hair. “I’m saying that I don’t really know if I’m in love with Lilian, or if I just like her. I’m too young to understand what love even means. I’m only fifteen! Heck, I’ve never even kissed a girl before Lilian.”

When Kotohime raised an eyebrow, Kevin colored in embarrassment upon realizing what he’d just admitted.

“
Don’t ask. Anyway, my point is that I have no idea how I feel about her, and I refuse to tell Lilian I love her when I don’t even what my true feelings are.”

The two stared at each other, the tension rising until, quite suddenly, Kotohime relaxed. The aura of dread surrounding her vanished like mist evaporating in the summer heat, and Kevin released a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“
Very well,” Kotohime said at last, “You’ve made your point, and at the very least, I can tell that you are being sincere, which is more than I can say for most people your age.”

If nothing else, she could take solace in the fact that Kevin was an earnest young man who wouldn’t take advantage of Lilian’s naiveté and innocence. It wasn’t much, but it was still something.

“
However.” Her glare inexplicably sharpened, putting Kevin on edge. “Now that you’ve informed me about your feelings, let me tell you something. I do not know how much Lilian has told you about kitsune in general, but the people we mate with are very important to us.”

Kevin was nonplussed. “What do you mean?”

“
I mean just what I said. To a kitsune, there is nothing more important than their mate.” Kotohime paused for a moment, thinking. “Being the long-lived supernatural creatures that we are, it is no surprise that a kitsune will have many mates throughout their lifetime. I know for a fact that Pnév̱ma-denka is over one-thousand years old, and that she has had mated many times.”

Kevin blinked as he tried to imagine a one-thousand-year-old woman with more boyfriends than Eric had eroge. He couldn’t, so he did his best to put such thoughts out of his mind.

Kotohime continued. “Despite how this makes kitsune seem promiscuous to other yōkai, the truth is that a kitsune always remains loyal to our mates--past, present and future. When a kitsune takes a mate, it is a vow far deeper than anything you humans have. In human culture, marriage is a sham that’s worth less than the paper it’s written on. When a kitsune takes a mate, it is a commitment to cherish, care for and love that person until such a time as both agree to part ways, or the mate dies of old age if they are of a less long-lived species, like humans. Yet, even after they have parted, when a kitsune’s mate is in trouble, regardless of whether they have not seen each other in months, years, decades or even centuries, he or she will drop everything they’re doing and go to their mate’s side to help.”

Kevin tried not to squirm at the heavy topic, but it was difficult, and Kotohime wasn’t making things any easier with how unruffled she appeared.

“
That being said, you are even more special to Lilian-sama.” Kotohime made sure Kevin was paying rapt attention before continuing. “You are the first mate she has ever had. To a kitsune, no mate is more important than their first. You are quite literally the single most important person that she will ever have in her life. No one else will ever hold the place in her heart that you do; no one else will be even half as important to her as you are. Ever. From now until the day Lilian-sama dies, every single potential mate that comes along will be judged by the standards you set.”

Kevin felt as if his heart might stop. He was really that important? He meant that much to Lilian?

“
I… I had no idea I meant so much to her,” he mumbled, gazing at the kitsune before him, his hands shaking as they were clenched into fists. “Why? Why would she choose someone like me to be her first mate?”

“
I would like to know the same thing.” Kotohime’s passive stare made him feel insignificant. “As far as I can tell, you have very few good qualities that would make you worthy of being her mate. You’re a decent student, athletic, and you seem to be very independent, but a kitsune, especially one of Lilian-sama’s stature, needs more than that. She needs someone who can stand by her side and support her as an equal. As you are right now, you’re just a liability.”

Kevin flinched at the insult. His mind went back to the times they had been attacked. She had saved him from Chris and ended up getting thrashed by Kiara. He hadn’t been able to do anything for her either of those times. He’d been completely useless.

Is that what Kotohime is talking about?

“
Unfortunately, there is very little I can do to make Lilian-sama see reason.” Kotohime’s eyes grew dark, and Kevin thought he saw her left one twitch. “Lilian-sama has already chosen you, so all I can do now is support her to the best of my abilities.”

“
You say that you’re going to support her, yet all you’ve done so far is tell me how much you disapprove of her decision,” Kevin pointed out, surprised by his own audacity. This woman had a katana for god’s sake!

“
That is because you are refusing to reciprocate her feelings.” Kotohime’s blunt statement made Kevin grimace. “Despite Lilian-sama making her intentions and feelings toward you quite clear, you have refused to accept her love and return it. That is why I do not approve of her decision to choose you as her mate.”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I already told you that I―”

“
I am well aware of your feelings on the matter,” Kotohime interrupted, raising a hand to forestall any defense he might put up. “You have made it clear that you lack the worldly experience necessary to make an informed decision. Truth be told, I happen to agree.”

When Kevin blinked, Kotohime smiled at him; a genuine smile, not the mocking ones she’d given thus far.

“
Unlike Lilian-sama, I am well aware of human culture, and I know that a fifteen-year-old boy knows little about matters of the heart. That is why I am willing to allow you the time necessary to sort out your feelings. Just be sure not to take too long in coming to a decision. The more time that passes, the longer you wait, the more your indecision will hurt Lilian-sama, and I will not stand for that. Are we clear?”

“…
Yes.”

“
I can’t hear you.”

“
I said yes!”

“
Good.”

As Kotohime walked away, Kevin clenched his eyes shut and grit his teeth, his mind plagued with conflicting emotions.

What am I supposed to do now?

***

Kevin entered the apartment, closing the door behind him, and then taking off his shoes and slouching against the doorframe.

Kotohime’s words had struck him more surely than a blaster bolt. They drove home all the points that he’d been blatantly ignoring, the same points that made him unsure of his own feelings.

Lilian’s love. Lilian’s devotion. They were so intense and unfiltered that it made him question his own feelings, doubt his own heart. Could he offer the same fidelity that Lilian had given him? He didn’t think so, especially since he was…

“
Having an argument with your girlfriend’s maid?” His mom’s voice drifted over from the living room. Shaking his head, Kevin walked further into the apartment to see his mom sitting on the couch, left leg propped over her right knee, her posture slouched. How long had she been there?

“
Lilian isn’t my girlfriend,” Kevin muttered.

His mom grinned. “You mean yet. You can try and deny it all you want, but I know you like her. I can’t say I blame you. If I were ten years younger and had a dick, I’d tap that.”

Kevin buried his red face in his hands. “Oh gods, mom! Do you always have to be so vulgar?”

“
Of course. As your mother, it is my right to embarrass you.”

“
There’s no one here for you to embarrass me in front of, so stop it.”

His mom chuckled, just a bit. “All right, all right. I’ll stop.”

“
Ha…” An annoyed sigh. “I can’t believe my mom acts like such a child.”

“
Better than being a young man who acts like an old fart.”

“
Whatever.”

“
So, what were you and Kotohime arguing about?” his mom asked, patting the spot by her side. “Come on, sit down and tell me. I might be able to help.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Kevin took his mom up on her offer. He sat down and explained everything to her—minus the whole “supernatural kitsune wants to be my mate” thing.

“
I’m not really sure what to do,” he finished explaining. “This isn’t some silly high school crush. Lilian truly loves me, like, the kind that ends in a committed relationship and not just a year or two of dating. She really wants to be with me for the rest of my—her life.”

“
Oh, I know that.”

“
You do?”

“
Of course.” His mom’s grin was that of someone who’d just won the lottery. “I could see that she was smitten with you the moment I saw you two together. No women would ever look at someone with eyes like hers unless they truly loved that person.”

“
Great. Thanks for making me feel better about this whole thing, Mom. Really.”

“
Kevin.” Ms. Swift sighed at the obvious sarcasm lacing her son’s voice. “This isn’t something that anyone can help you with. In the end, you need to decide if what you’re feeling for Lilian is true love or simply lust. No one can possibly know what you’re feeling but you.”

“
But how am I supposed to tell if I really love her?”

“
Well, how do you feel when you’re with her?”

Kevin remained silent as he thought about what he felt for Lilian, and when he started speaking, it was tentatively, with each word being carefully measured before they were voiced. “Well, I… I feel sort of like I’m on a cloud. When I’m with Lilian, I sometimes feel like I’m living in this strange dream or fantasy, and that one day I’ll wake up and find out that she never existed.”

“
That’s a start,” his mom urged. “What else?”

“
I, well, my heart beats really fast whenever I’m with her. Like, it sometimes feels like it’s going to break my ribcage or something, and I always get this strange warmth, right here…” Kevin placed a hand over his chest and clutched the fabric of his shirt. “This is where it usually starts, but it will always spread to the rest of my body. And whenever I look at Lilian, I feel…”

“
Like you could get lost in her eyes and smile?”

Kevin gave his mom an odd look. “Yes.”

His mom smiled at him. “I think you already know how you feel about Lilian. All you need to do is realize it yourself.”

Great, mom’s being cryptic. This is just what I need after my conversation with Kotohime. Not.

Kevin resisted a sigh. “But how can I do that?”

His mom shrugged. “I’m afraid that, too, is something that you will need to figure out on your own.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks for the help.”

“
Anytime.”

“
That was sarcasm, Mom. You were no help at all.”

“…
Meanie.”

***

At the sound of the whistle going off, Kevin launched himself from his ready position into a full-on sprint. He gritted his teeth as he pushed his body to the brink. Air whistled in and out of his mouth and his heart raced like a Gundam traveling at terminal velocity during atmospheric reentry. Faster. Faster. His legs strained under the effort. 20 meters. 40 meters. 80 meters.

Finished.

“
Time!” Coach Deretaine’s voice rang out across the field, as Kevin and Chase passed the 100 meter mark.

Kevin hunched over as he tried to catch his breath, which was much harder than usual. Oh, dear God. He felt like someone had dropped several tons of lead onto his legs.

“
Swift!”

Kevin straightened, or he tried to. His exhaustion was such that he could only straighten about halfway.

His coach marched up to him with a bit of a scowl. Oh, boy. That could not mean anything good.

“
Yes… sir…”

“
It seems you’re having some trouble. That time was nowhere near as good as what you’ve been getting recently.” Coach Deretaine looked down at his stopwatch and the scowl grew. “Thirteen-point-sixty-five seconds. You normally get at least twelve-point-twenty-three seconds, and you’ve been doing even better than that recently. This is a ridiculously slow time, especially for you.”