A Gift of Time (The Nine Minutes Trilogy Book 3) (33 page)

Chapter Fifty-Six

Grizz

2001,
Fort Lauderdale

Grizz had tried
to tell Anthony he wouldn’t be working for
him anymore after what had happened at the convenience store, but Anthony was
convinced the two guys wouldn’t press charges. And he was right.

Anthony
hadn’t been contacted by the police about his wayward employee, and so Grizz
continued to work for the landscaping company and noticed that his fellow
workers tried to include him more in their conversations. He’d picked up enough
Spanish in prison to communicate with them. He wasn’t sure if that was a good
thing or not.

Rocky was a
bit of a challenge, but Grizz had always loved animals and found that he was a
natural with them. He took pleasure in and was challenged by training the
obviously abused animal. Rocky was turning out to be an excellent and
well-behaved dog. He went to work with Grizz every single day and kept him
company in the evenings and on the weekends.

Grizz had
given Mimi a couple of driving lessons since that fateful day in September, and
he enjoyed her company. She was a smart girl with a quick wit, and giving her
driving lessons propelled him to distant memories of teaching her mother to
drive so many years ago. He told her she was a fast learner. She told him that
he was a good instructor. He couldn’t be sure, but he felt like he may have
been bonding with his daughter.

He hadn’t
meant to disappoint Jason by not openly attending his games, so he did the next
best thing. He watched from afar and would explain to Jason that he’d been
there but had been on his way somewhere and couldn’t stay to say hello. It was
the truth and so far, it had appeased the boy. He’d also seen something at a
couple of the games that he didn’t care for. Tommy’s business partner, Alec
Davis, had shown up as well, and he sat with Ginny. He couldn’t be sure, but he
was under the impression that their friendship had waned a bit. Maybe he’d been
wrong.

Thanksgiving
was approaching, and Grizz checked with Ginny before deciding whether or not to
accept Carter and Bill’s invitation to come to dinner. She said she didn’t have
a problem with it, and so he’d told Carter he would be there. He knew he
wouldn’t even need to ask if anybody else was on the guest list. Carter knew
better.

The young
man who’d taken Tommy’s life had pled guilty and was now serving a life
sentence without the possibility of parole. He had optioned for the plea
instead of risking the death penalty.

Matthew
Rockman’s trial had been postponed twice and was scheduled for this coming
February, which would also be the one-year anniversary of Tommy’s death.

“Tommy told me
he’d changed his mind. He wasn’t going to testify against Matthew, and I
completely agreed with him,” Ginny told him.

They’d just
finished eating turkey at Carter and Bill’s. Jason was playing a video game
with Bill. Carter and Mimi were cleaning up. Carter had suggested that Grizz
and Ginny go up to the guesthouse and retrieve the telescope that was stored up
there. Maybe they could all watch the stars together later that night.

She sat on
the bed in the little guesthouse, her hands folded together and clasped between
her knees. She looked at Grizz accusingly.

“He’ll get
convicted with or without Tommy’s testimony,” Grizz said from the corner, where
his telescope had been stored. “Not because of anything Blue did. Because
Matthew is guilty. He did murder her.”

Ginny stood
then and walked to him, her arms crossed.

“I know you
must’ve had something to do with it. Admit it. You had her murdered and made it
look like Matthew did it.”

He’d been
bending down fiddling with the telescope, but now he stood up and gave her his
full attention.

“Yes and no.
I did have Blue plan it, so yeah, I’m responsible. But it didn’t happen that
way.”

She cocked
her head and waited.

“It was all
set to go down,” he said. “Jan contacted Matthew with the intention of
blackmailing him, and he agreed to meet her. After Matthew left the hotel room,
someone was going there to handle her and plant evidence. Except when they got
there, she was already dead. Don’t know what she ended up saying to Rockman,
but it must’ve put him over the edge, because he’d strangled her with the phone
cord. It was not what we had planned, but it still provided truthful evidence
against him.”

He didn’t
say anything for a few more seconds, and before Ginny could comment, he
blurted, “I would’ve stopped it if I could. I would’ve called it off, but I
couldn’t.”

Ginny didn’t
reply to his last admission because she wasn’t sure she believed it.

“How do you
know this? Who told you Matthew really did kill her?”

“Anthony
told me. He stays in touch with Blue.” He paused then. “How much do you stay in
touch with Blue?”

“Not at all.
I can’t even remember the last time I saw him before he came to the hospital.
After Tommy married me, we really did stay away from everything gang-related,
so that included Blue. The kids don’t know him.” She looked at the ground then.
“We never got around to telling Mimi that Blue’s oldest, Kevin, is her
half-brother. I’ll tell her one day, but for now, I think keeping it on the
backburner might be for the best.”

Grizz
nodded. “It is for the best.”

He didn’t
want them to have any reason to be in contact with Blue. He was glad she and
Tommy had distanced themselves from the life.

She ran a
hand through her hair and sighed.

“What is
this? What are we doing?”

“Carrying
the telescope downstairs to set it up.”

“No, that’s
not what I mean.”

“I know it’s
not what you mean, Kitten,” he said, his deep voice quiet.

She shook
her head slowly. “What good could possibly come from this? From us? I just
can’t see where or if it could be anything. Or even if we want it to be
anything.”

He took her
gently by the hand and walked back toward the bed. She hesitated but let him
lead her. After sitting down next to her, he softly said, “I know what I want
to happen. I know that I’m still in love with you. I think about you
constantly, Ginny. I’ve never stopped thinking about you or loving you, and
I’ve thought about this very question nonstop.”

“And?”

“And, if I
get to be in the same room with you, to hear your voice, to look into your eyes
when you talk to me, just once in a while, then I’m willing to accept that.”

“It would be
crumbs, and I can’t see you living the rest of your life on crumbs.”

“They’re
more than I deserve, Ginny.” His eyes were sincere and warm.

“I’ve never
seen you like this,” she said honestly. “I’ve never seen you so patient. It’s
not what I remember.”

“Prison can
change a man. Even me.”

He didn’t
think he could bear to see doubt about him in her eyes, so he jumped up then
and went back to the telescope, his back to her. She followed him to see if she
could help. Without knowing she was right behind him, he turned to ask her
something and found himself smacking right into her.

His instinct
to grab her was immediate. He stood there, looking down into her face, his
hands gently clinging to both of her upper arms. She looked up at him, and
their eyes met. He slowly moved his hands to her face, lightly caressing her
left cheek with his thumb. Their eyes stayed locked. He looked at her lips,
then back at her gaze. He saw the invitation, or at least what he hoped was an
invitation.

He lowered
his mouth to hers.

She held her
breath and closed her eyes when she realized he was going to kiss her. She
sighed when he gently nibbled her bottom lip. He stopped only to press his lips
lightly against hers. He still held her face in his hands and found himself
nibbling, kissing, nibbling, kissing. He had to restrain himself from parting
her lips and plunging his tongue inside her mouth. The need to taste her
sweetness was overwhelming.

He felt her
hands reach up behind his neck, pull him closer. She parted her mouth first,
the invitation now obvious.

Gently, so
gently, he let his tongue explore the inside of her mouth. His erection was
immediate, intense and almost painful. He broke the kiss and looked down at
her.

“I didn’t
mean for it to go this far, Kitten,” he said in a low growl.

“I didn’t
either,” she said breathlessly, ignoring the ache she hadn’t felt in a long
time.

“I shouldn’t
have kissed you. It’s too soon.”

“Too soon?”

“I’m afraid
you’re still in mourning. It hasn’t been a year yet.” She knew he was referring
to Tommy’s passing. “I don’t want to confuse you or make you do something you
might regret later. I can wait until you’re sure of what you’re feeling.”

She was
getting ready to answer him that she was a woman who didn’t need to be told
what she was or wasn’t feeling when Jason’s voice floated up the guesthouse
stairs.

“Did you
find Aunt Carter’s telescope?” Jason yelled from outside. “Do you need help?”

**********

The stars were out in full
glory that night, and they’d each taken turns looking through the telescope.
Ginny watched as Jason excitedly told them he recognized some of the
constellations. They were sitting on Carter and Bill’s deck, roasting
marshmallows in the fire pit and making s’mores. The porch light cast a warm
glow over the happy stargazers as they ate their treats and talked about stars
and the things they were thankful for.

“My Dad had
some tattoos. But they weren’t scary like some of yours, James.”

The group
fell silent and all eyes turned to Jason, who’d been standing next to Grizz as
he adjusted the telescope.

“What is
this one? I’ve never seen one like this,” the boy said, pointing curiously at
one on Grizz’s neck.

“It’s a
prison tattoo,” Grizz told Jason. He didn’t look at Ginny for approval. It was
going to come up eventually. No use pretending he could hide it.

Jason’s eyes
widened, and Ginny held her breath as she waited for what she knew would be
Jason’s next question.

“Were you in
prison?” he asked, the fascination in his voice obvious.

Grizz turned
away from the telescope and gave Jason his full attention. Not taking his eyes
from Jason’s, he said, “Yes, Jason. I was in prison.”

“Wow. What
did you do?”

“Let’s just
say I did things that were bad enough to send me to jail. One day, when you’re
older, if you still want to know, I’ll tell you. But for today, let’s just say
it’s not something I’m proud of and don’t like to talk about. Is that okay with
you?”

“Did you
know the guy that died?” Jason asked. “Corbin said my parents knew some guy in
prison who was getting killed. He owned a motorcycle gang.”

Ginny had to
put her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Jason hadn’t forgotten about
Corbin’s comment over a year ago.

“Yes, I knew
him.”

“Were you
there when he died? Was he your friend? Did you like him?”

Grizz looked
over Jason’s head and met Ginny’s eyes. Without breaking their gaze, he
answered the child.

“I was there
when he died. He wasn’t my friend. And no, I didn’t like him.”

He looked
down at the boy and said in a tone that brooked no further conversation on the
subject, “And I’m glad he’s dead.”

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Ginny

2001,
Fort Lauderdale

After dropping Grizz
off at his house, Jason showered me
with questions about how well and how long Tommy and I had known James, and was
it before or after he went to prison. I told him most of the truth: We’d known
him since we were teenagers, he went to prison after that, and neither one of
us had seen or spoken with him for fifteen years. I also explained to my son
that James had trusted him with a very important detail about his life, and it
wouldn’t be respectful or right for any of us to share this with other people.

“Maybe it’s
why he doesn’t stay at your games, Jason,” Mimi piped up. “Maybe he’s
embarrassed or ashamed and doesn’t want people like Corbin saying things or
judging him, which they would do if you told them.”

Mimi
understood what was hanging in the balance here, and I appreciated that she was
able to talk to Jason on his level.

“Can I tell
Alec?” Jason asked.

“Is it your
story to tell, Jason, or is it James’s story?”

Jason nodded
sheepishly. He got it.

“And I have
to tell you the truth, honey. James wants his privacy. If we want to stay
friends with him, we need to respect that. We need to not get our feelings hurt
if he doesn’t accept invitations. He’s a loner, and I think he likes it that
way.”

“Do you
think he likes me, Mom?”

I looked in
my rearview mirror and saw his hopeful eyes looking back at me.

“Yes, Jason.
I think he likes you very much.”

**********

A week later, Grizz asked me
when I might have an evening free to spend with him. I was hesitant at first,
remembering the kiss we’d shared. But both kids would be occupied for most of
the evening, so I found myself heading over to Laurel Falls.

I drove to his
house with my windows down enjoying the cool breeze and the familiar fragrance
of orange blossoms. The sun had almost completely set, and the air was cooler.
He’d told me not to eat dinner, so I figured he was making something, getting
takeout, or wanting to take me to an out-of-the-way restaurant.

I wondered
if he remembered his invitation as I got out of my car and approached his front
door. It was getting dark, and he had no outside lights on. The garage was
closed so I didn’t know if his car was there.

I knocked
lightly and heard Rocky barking. I heard Grizz give a command and the barking
ceased. He opened the door and with the movement came a whoosh of air that
assaulted my nostrils. Him. His smell. His clean, sharp scent. Same cologne.
Same deodorant he’d always worn. I didn’t remember him smelling like this at
Thanksgiving. My insides twisted.

He didn’t
say anything. He just stepped aside and gestured with his hand for me to come
in.

I walked in
and stopped suddenly as I took in what I was seeing and hearing. The sun had
gone down, leaving only a warm glow on the western horizon, so light from his
skylights was minimal, yet the living room, kitchen and dining area were
glowing. I took in all the candles, the small table set for dinner, the
enticing aroma of whatever had been in his oven.

I heard him
shut the door behind me. This wasn’t dinner. This was a set-up for seduction if
I’d ever seen one. “Sharing the Night Together” by Dr. Hook was coming from a
speaker.

How
convenient.

Well, I
would set him straight. Just like I let him know upfront more than twenty-five
years ago my first night at the motel, I now blurted out, “I don’t know how
long I can stay. I’m on my period and have bad cramps.”

It was a
lie. As a matter of fact, I’d gone off the pill after Tommy’s death, and my
period was so sporadic I was certain I was premenopausal. But Grizz didn’t have
to know that. I felt him come up behind me and I turned to face him, my
attitude evident.

“I’m sorry
you don’t feel good, honey. Do you want to come over another time or do you
want me to get you something out of the medicine cabinet to help with your
cramps?”

He looked
sincere. I stiffened.

“You want me
to come back when I’m not on my period?” I narrowed my eyes. “I’m sorry you
went to so much trouble to try to get me into bed and it backfired.”

I waved my
hand toward the candles.

He raised an
eyebrow. “You think I invited you over to get you into bed and because you have
your period I don’t want you here?”

“Isn’t that
why you invited me over? The candles, my kind of music playing in the
background—why would I think otherwise?”

He chuckled.
“Your music is playing because the house has a built-in sound system and I
haven’t figured out how to change the lame-ass station that it’s set to. As a
matter of fact, I don’t even know how to turn the damn thing off.”

I crossed my
arms. “Fine. Whatever. And the candles?”

“The power’s
been out for two hours. I just lit them. Thought you would’ve noticed I didn’t
have any lights on when you pulled up. And like I said, the only reason the
music is on is because the house has a small auxiliary backup for the alarm
system and the sound system is somehow connected. The music came on by itself
when the battery rebooted the alarm. Good thing the house has a gas oven or I’d
have to take you out for dinner.”

I just
stared and could feel the heat rising up my face. What was I, sixteen again? I
felt childish, stupid for the accusation and the period comment. He wasn’t
trying to seduce me. I needed to find a hole to crawl in, and I needed to find
one fast.

“How about I
take you out somewhere? It can’t be fancy. It’ll have to be somewhere quiet and
out of the way.”

I swallowed
and looked away from him. “I thought...I thought...”

“I know what
you thought, baby, and it’s okay. I don’t blame you. It does look like a
set-up, but it’s not. I meant what I said at Thanksgiving. I think it might
still be too soon for you. I didn’t want anything from you tonight except to
enjoy a meal and your company.”

I told him
he didn’t need to take me out to a restaurant. The lights came on midway
through our meal. We cleaned up the kitchen together, blew out the candles, and
settled ourselves on the couch. Rocky made himself comfortable between us. I
looked at the man who I’d been so in love with for so long and wondered if I
was falling for him again.

Then the
bitterness I’d tried to swallow since Tommy’s death finally reared its ugly
head.

Before I
could stop myself, I shouted, “I hate this. I just hate this!”

He looked
over at me, bewilderment in his gaze. I stood up and crossed my arms over my
chest. I paced back and forth as he just watched me and waited for an
explanation.

“Since your
execution...” I paused to give him a sarcastic glare, “my life has been turned
upside down. So much turmoil and unnecessary drama because of that stupid
interview. Thinking Tommy was your son almost ruined my marriage. You know
that, don’t you?”

He nodded,
never taking his eyes from mine. I looked away and resumed pacing.

“Thank God,
it turned out not to be true, so it was a good thing we never got around to
talking to Mimi about it. But that’s not the point. That’s not what I’m trying
to say here.”

“What are
you trying to say?”

“I’m trying
to say I’ve never experienced a time in my life where I wasn’t in control of my
feelings.” I stopped, took a shuddery breath. “I look back over the past year,
and one minute I hated you, the next minute I missed you, the next minute I
resented you. I’ve been all over the map with my emotions, and it’s so unlike
me and not something I’m used to. Add the grief of Tommy’s death on top of that
and I—I... I just hate this feeling of not being sure about who I am and
what I want.”

He nodded,
watching me.

“And—it’s
not about just me. I have my children to consider. On one hand, they seem to
like and accept you. On another hand, if something did come of our
relationship, I struggle with what Tommy would’ve wanted for our children, and
I’m having a hard time convincing myself that it would include you.” I eyed him
warily.

“Understandable.”

I swallowed.
“I know without any doubt that you’d never bring any harm to me or my children.
But I don’t know if that’s enough. There has to be more. I need for my children
to love and respect you, but even more than that, I need you to love them, and
Grizz, I don’t know if you’re capable of that. I watched your face when Jason
hugged you the morning you took us fishing. I saw something in your eyes.
Something I’d never seen. What was it?”

He looked
away from me then and sighed. He absently stroked Rocky’s fur as he stared past
me. I didn’t think he was going to answer me.

Finally, in
a broken voice, he said, “Fear.” He then looked me straight in the eyes. “You
saw fear, Kit.”

This was an
admission that I never thought I’d hear Grizz make. Ever.

“Of?”

“Of giving
your children the love I should’ve given Tommy. I really did believe he was my
son, and I should’ve loved him like a son, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t let
myself. I had only loved one person before you came along. The pain of losing
my baby sister was something I never wanted to experience again. I still don’t.
When we love, we become vulnerable. If I allow myself to love, I set myself up
to not be in control. I did it with Ruthie, and I did it with you. I’m afraid
to do it again, but it’s too late, anyway.”

“Too late?
What’s too late?” My heart started thumping as I realized he was going to tell
me it was too late for us. That he’d changed his mind and life with me wouldn’t
be possible. Isn’t that what I needed to hear so he could leave and we could
move on?

I started to
shake.

He stood and
approached me, grabbing me and hugging me fiercely.

“I already
love your children. I love my daughter. I love your son. I would give anything
for a world where we could be a family, Ginny. Anything.”

I was moved
and relieved by his admission. He let go of me and stepped back, looking down
at me with a need in his eyes I recognized. I felt the tension and wasn’t sure
how I would react if he decided to kiss me. He sensed it too and asked, “Kiss?”

Before I
could answer him, he’d reached into his front jeans pocket and held something
out to me. “Hershey’s Kiss?”

I knew he
was trying to lighten the moment and I smiled at him. I looked at the coffee
table and saw the tiny silver balls. I’d wondered more than once what they were,
but had never asked. They were the remnants of his obviously new chocolate
fetish. My heart tightened a little bit when I remembered how I would find
empty Jolly Rancher wrappers all over the house and even in the washing
machine. Tommy loved the hard candy and would stuff the cellophane wrappers in
his pockets after opening them. I swallowed back my still lingering grief and
accepted the Kiss.

That night
as I drove home, I thought about Grizz’s admission and the stab of panic I’d
felt when I thought his comment meant it was too late for us.

Instead of
driving directly home, I headed back toward our old neighborhood, Shady
Ranches. I went way beyond where Carter and Bill lived and started driving some
of the still-undeveloped roads. I wanted to think without the lights, traffic,
and distractions of the city. I thought about all the phone conversations and
emails I’d exchanged with Sister Mary Katherine since Tommy’s death. One of our
many conversations, the most recent one, came back to me.

“What is it
exactly that you’re afraid of, child?” she asked me as I clutched the phone to
my ear.

“I don’t
know, Sister. I guess I’m afraid of what I might be starting to feel for him.”
Or what I’ve always felt and don’t want to accept.

“And you’re
afraid of this why?”

“I guess
it’s several things. I’m thinking Tommy would disapprove because of the man
Grizz was. Grizz spent almost his entire life doing the opposite of everything
I’ve ever believed in, and the last fifteen years of his life have been in a
maximum-security prison. Is that the kind of person I want to fall back in love
with? To expose my children to?”

I heard a
small chuckle from her end of the phone.

“I probably
never mentioned that I frequented many prisons doing ministry in my day. In
fact, one of the most wonderful days of my life was spent at the most notorious
prison in our country.”

“You did?” I
was a little surprised. “Wonderful?”

“Yes, I did.
They were the worst of the worst. So much hate there. So much loathing. So much
pain. The outcasts of society. They were men who’d done terrible things and
considered themselves unworthy of a life beyond those walls. But, worse yet,
they considered themselves unworthy of forgiveness and love. I saw something
that day. Do you know who I was there with?”

“No, Sister.
I don’t.”

“I got to
spend one glorious day visiting inmates with Mother Teresa. She was Sister
Teresa back then.”

I gulped.

“We were
meeting murderers, rapists, human traffickers. Men who wore tattoos boasting of
the number of people they’d killed. I remember one man in particular. He’d
killed eleven people. When we approached him, I saw the defiance in his eyes.
He had his emotional armor on because he was used to seeing the judgment, the
hatred. And of course, he thought that as women of God, we would have every
right to judge him. He wasn’t going to be hurt by our rejection because he was
prepared for it.”

“What
happened?” I was starting to get a little concerned about what she was going to
tell me. I held my breath.

“I watched
Mother Teresa approach him. I saw him stiffen, and then his entire demeanor
changed when she took the crucifix from around her neck and lovingly placed it
around his. She said three words to him.” Sister paused for effect. “She said,
‘I love you.’ That was all. Three simple words that were heartfelt, sincere,
and full of compassion. Three words that can change the world, if we’ll let
them.”