A Girl Between (25 page)

Annie let me off at Mercy’s house before going off to work. 
It was another crappy, gray day.  I knew it was getting colder because I almost
fell flat on my butt going up her icy steps.  The silvery frozen rain was
almost invisible to the eye and it was easy to get fooled, especially if you
were distracted.

I was thinking about Ian.  I can’t be too mad at him because
he really doesn’t seem to know too much.  It’s either that, or he just can’t
face up to what he is - a diabole.  Eventually, he’ll have to figure things out
and I hope he doesn’t get hurt doing it.  I just don’t know how I feel about
him right now.

I also had mixed feelings about what was to come.  I didn’t
like regressing, but I understood the necessity of learning the truth about
myself.  Mercy opened the door just as I was about to reach for it.  “Tess,
you’re looking better today,” she commented as she glanced down at my feet. 
They were feeling better, now in my fur lined boots.  “Yeah, I’m OK.  I’m just
a little nervous about going through this again.  After the past regression
sessions, I always end up experiencing a series of bizarre flashbacks and bad
dreams of other lives.  It takes me a while to go back to my normal self.  It’s
not very uncomfortable.”

Belinda strode in with open arms and gave Tess a big hug.
“How are you doing, Tessie?  It’s wonderful to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, Belinda.” 

She gazed at me with her intense green eyes.  “I know it’s
scary, but you will be fine, believe me.  I know each session is difficult for
you but in the long run it will accomplish two essential things.  First of all,
your special abilities that have been repressed for so long will fully emerge. 
Secondly, your true purpose in this life will become crystal clear.  That
knowledge will help us to challenge the upcoming catastrophe that has the
potential to affect so many innocents.

“I’m glad you believe in me because I sure don’t,” I
grumbled.

Belinda patted me on the shoulder.  “Why don’t you sit down,
Tess and I’ll make you a cup of your favorite, the Pu ‘erh tea.  Then, you can
relax for a few minutes before we get started.”

I put my head back and closed my eyes.  I would so rather
take a nap then go through this. “Here’s the tea, dear.”  Belinda set down the
pot and the tea cup and then she sat across from me.  She paused for a moment
before adding, “By the way, Tess, before we get going, there is something else
I wanted to talk about with you.  It involves something that Mercy asked me
about, the incident with the rats.”

I looked at her sharply. “What do you know about the rats?”

“I believe you are right to believe that those rats were
going after you.  It’s related to what you heard recently about cats.  Mercy
told me that when you visited the Petrov’s you learned how good witches may
choose to reincarnate as cats.”

“Yes, I did learn that.  If fact, I’ve come to realize that
my own cat, Beauty Queen, is a reincarnated witch.”

Mercy jumped in.  “You think Beauty Queen’s a witch?  She’s
certainly an in-your-face-cat and she talks enough, with that loud, obnoxious
meow.”

“I thought about it after we visited the Petrov’s that day
and figured out that she must be a witch.  Even the way she attached herself to
me was odd,” I contended.

“Why?  How did you come to have Beauty Queen?” Belinda
inquired.

“Beauty Queen showed up at our old house in Colorado about a
year ago.  She actually climbed a tree outside my bedroom and scratched on the
window screen in the middle of the night.  I remember I opened it and she came
right in, strolled over to my bed and curled up next to my pillow.  She’s been
sticking to me like glue ever since.  At the time, I just thought she was just
a very clever cat, but now I realize it’s more than that.  Recently, I’ve been
communicating with Beauty Queen about simple things.  She’ll respond to my
questions with her loud meowing or she’ll poke at me with her sharp claws. 
She’s acts like a cranky, overprotective grandma.”

Belinda asked, “How has Beauty Queen been behaving since you
moved to Woodley?”

“She’s been nuts.  She runs around my legs when I’m at
home.  She goes crazy any time I leave, jumping in front of me and meowing at
the top of her lungs.  When I’m hanging out at home, she won’t leave my lap. 
Sometimes, she even rides around hanging onto my shoulders.  She didn’t act
this possessive when we lived in Colorado,” I exclaimed.

Belinda asserted, “She knows that something’s up, like all
the other cats that have been showing up in town.”

“In fact,” I added, “Grandma Edwina has been complaining
about the cats hanging around outside of our house and the racket they’ve been
making.  When I heard it last week, I realized that the howling has been going
back and forth between Beauty Queen and those cats.  I wish I knew what they
were saying!”

“Mom, this is all rather interesting but it doesn’t answer
your assertion that those rats deliberately attacked Tessie,” Mercy proclaimed.

Belinda looked over at Mercy.  “I guess we have gotten a bit
off topic although it’s all related.  What I have always known is that bad
witches will also reincarnate into other animals, especially such nasty
creatures as rats.”

I had to sit there and think for a minute.  What was she leading
up to?  Suddenly it hit me. “So, that’s why they were all after me!”  I was
suddenly hit by another thought that was even more repulsive.  I looked at
Belinda and Mercy, “Those rats aren’t done here.  That’s why they’re flocking
to Woodley and the surrounding towns.  They’ll want to finish what they
started.”

“Tess, take another sip of tea and put the rats, cats, and
all other troubles out of your mind.  Sit back and think about one of your
favorite, most relaxing places for a few minutes.”

I thought about laying down in the hammock in our backyard
with a nice thick book on a beautiful day.  Now THAT would be relaxing.

After a few minutes, Belinda quietly asked, “Are you ready,
Tess?”

I picked up the tea cup and took another sip and then I
shifted around to make myself more comfortable.  “Yes,” I sighed, “anytime you
are.”

Belinda stared into my eyes.  “Take a deep breath, and as
you exhale, close your eyes and feel yourself relaxing.  Take another breath
and slowly release it.  Continue breathing, and with each breath feel your
muscles become very loose and limp.” As Belinda droned on, I could feel the
familiar sense of relaxation seep into my bones, from my toes to the top of my
head.  I just wanted to sleep forever…

SNAP!  I opened my eyes.  I was back again living a dream.

I could hear Belinda’s voice through a long tunnel. “Can you
understand me, Tess?”

“Yes.”

“We will be going back further in your past, Tess, even
further than before,” Belinda gently stated.

“I know,” I whispered.

“First, we’ll be talking about when you were born.  Tessie,
do you remember anything about your birth?”

I felt myself slip back, back through my life, through my
childhood and babyhood, back to the floating.  I finally responded, “I remember
floating. I’m floating in in the soft warmth, drifting.  It’s peaceful, with
the constant beating.”

“How did your birth go?” she prompted.

My throat started to tighten.  I answered in a hoarse
whisper, “Once the squeezing started, it never stopped.  It just kept going and
going.  It hurt so much, and then my throat felt like it was blocked.  Finally,
I could see the big light but all I could think about was air.  I needed air. 
I had to have air.  I felt my heart beat faster.  Finally, the air came in all
at once.  I hated it when the light came.”  I was holding my throat, taking a
deep breath.

“Tessie, I want you to go back, go back to before your
birth, back through
The Between
, then the blackness and the light.  You
have to go to your life before your time in Connecticut.”

I sat there and watched my lives stream by like a movie
reel.  I went through the white light and
The Between
and then the
blackness and the light.  I awoke to an uneasy gray.  I was immediately struck
by the gloom, the human stench and my sense of terror.  I was in a hellish
place.

I sharply drew my breath in.  My arms and shoulders were in
great pain.  I started to cry.

“What is it Tessie?”

“I am not Tessie, I am Gysel.  They have tortured me!  First,
they tied my hands behind my back.  Then, they swung the rope over the beam and
hung me there.  It caused the bones in my shoulders to come apart from my
body,” I moaned.

Belinda asked quietly, “Gysel, why would they do such a
thing?” 

I straightened my back and held my head up though it pained
me greatly. “It is the archbishop. He is the embodiment of evil here in Trier. 
He made me confess to worship of the devil AND to bringing storm by the devil’s
aid.  Of course, that is not so!  They also stripped me and used a needle to
find the signs of the devil on my body.  They wanted me to yield to them, to
beg for their mercy upon my tainted soul.”  I stared defiantly outward. 

“What is going on there, Gysel?”

“It is the year of my death, 1592.  We are here in The Burning
Times in Germany.  I am the last of the women here.  There are no more left.”

Belinda leaned in and asked, “What do you mean by ‘the last
of the women’?”

“Why, there are many towns here with no women left!  The
women were imprisoned and tortured until they accused others.  Then, the
accused were taken and they did the same.  It went round and round.  Soon,
there was no one left to be accused.  That is why I am the last woman of my
village.  I was the last to be accused.  Who is there left for me to name?  I
will not name the children as some have.”

Belinda softly asked, “What is to become of you?”

“I proclaimed my innocence but it was to no avail.  They are
here to take me to the pyre.  It is the executioner and those who examine and
judge that gain in riches and status in this place.  The children of the
condemned are sent away for their own survival, thus leaving any property to be
confiscated by those who practice the tyranny of the devil, but cloak
themselves in the sanctity of their law.”

Belinda softly asked, “What is next for you?”

“I have sight of what is to happen.  I see a ladder made of
sticks leaning against a large pile of wood.  That will be my death bed.  There
are three more wood stacks just like it, all in a row.  Four of us are to burn
today.”

“Who are the others?”

“We were at the same trial.  Oggard was a simpleton from my
village.  He accused me only to stop his torment.  The other two are old hags
that were ragpickers from the village of Cuchme.  They got arrested because
they dared to curse the Burgomaster.  He claimed they were followers of Satan.”

Belinda started to ask another question but I stopped her. 
I grabbed her arm and held tight.  “They have come to get us.  They push us
through the heavy door to a beautiful day.  My eyes close as the sunshine pains
them.  I view the crowd of men who are eerily quiet.  After all, I am the last
woman.  Is this what they desire?  I have a past memory of their booing and
jeering at these burnings.  I notice that some cannot bring themselves to look
me in the eye.  Do they see how their godless ways have mocked them?  I reach
the woodpile high above my head.  They jab at my back so I struggle up the
ladder and climb onto the platform.  Oh, no!”

“What is it Gysel?”

“It is Bruna, my cat.  They said she was my familiar so she
would also burn.  They tied her to my stake.  At least they broke her neck so
she will feel no pain.”

“Gysel, you do not have to . . . . ,” Belinda beseeches me.

“NO,” I scream.  “I must know about this!”

I breathe in, breathe out, before continuing, “My bare feet
scrape on the wood.  The executioner pushes me against the pole and roughly
pulls my hands behind it.  He ties them back and wraps the rope around my waist
and my ankles.  I look up to get one last look at my world.  I see the
archbishop staring at me in his glorious rapture.  I see one of the courtroom
judges next to him.  That man has been silent but complicit.  Something about
him is very disturbing.  The fire is lit.  I see smoke swirl by me and I feel
heat on my bare feet.  I breathe in the smoke as hard as I can.  As it thickens,
I open my eyes one more time and see the judge still staring.  My eyes
stinging, feet burning, and those eyes, those eyes gleaming through the smoke .
. . . Oh, my, God, I KNOW those eyes!  I SEE him.  I see in his soul.  I know
who he is!”

Belinda shouted, “Tessie!  It is time to go back again as we
discussed.  You are done with this life.  You must go back to the light and
The
Between
, then you must go through the darkness and to the light.”

The darkness descends upon me like a thick curtain, and then
it transports me to the divine beauty of
The Between
.  I want to stay
there after the fire but, no.  Here comes the short time of the warm darkness. 
Then, the icy cold of the new light.