A Girl Can Dream (11 page)

Meg decided the children had been in the dark long enough so she told them all together the following morning as they sat having breakfast after Charlie had gone to work.

There was a howl of anguish from Billy at the news. Ruth, sitting on Meg’s knee, turned startled eyes on her young brother as he blurted out, ‘I don’t want no new mother. We got you, ain’t we?’

‘I don’t want one either,’ Terry said.

Meg knew it was up to her to get the children to feel at least more positive about the woman, because if their father decided to marry her, they would have no choice in the matter. ‘Now come on,’ she said. ‘You haven’t given the woman a chance. You have never even met her.’

‘And whose fault is that?’ Terry said. ‘We never even knew about her till now.’

Sally burst into tears as Billy said mutinously, ‘Anyway, I don’t want to meet her.’

Sally scrubbed at her eyes with the edge of her cardigan and said, ‘Nor me. I don’t want someone to come in and try and be our mom. We had a mom and now we have you and I don’t want no one else.’

Meg sighed as Ruth, picking up the atmosphere in the room, began to grizzle, and as she cuddled her she said, ‘Now you’ve upset Ruth with your goings-on. You must all realise that if Daddy wants to marry this woman then he will, and none of us can do anything about it.’ She looked at the woebegone faces of her brothers and sisters and felt for them, but it was doing them no favours letting them feel that they could influence their father in any way.

‘Don’t know why he wants another wife anyway,’ Terry said. ‘We’re all right as we are, aren’t we?’

‘Daddy obviously isn’t.’

‘Didn’t he love our mom?’ Jenny asked.

‘He did,’ Meg said emphatically. ‘You know he did. I think maybe he’s lonely.’

‘How could he be lonely when he has us?’ Sally asked.

‘It’s a different kind of loneliness when you an adult,’ Meg said, ‘and I know Daddy feels sorry for this Doris, because he told me so.’

‘Feels sorry for her?’ Terry repeated. ‘You don’t marry someone because you feel sorry for them.’

‘Oh, I should imagine there’s more to it than that,’ Meg said. ‘And really you can’t help feeling sorry for her because she’s completely alone. Her first husband is dead, and their parents, they had no brothers or sisters and she had no children of her own. You must admit that’s sad.’

‘Yeah, I suppose.’

‘And added to that, she knows very few people here,’ Meg went on. ‘She comes from Yorkshire but was sent here to sew parachutes like Aunt Rosie.’

‘Where did Daddy meet her?’

‘In the Swan.’

Jenny’s eyes opened wide. ‘Was she on her own?’

‘I think there were two of them.’

‘Mom said she thought women who went to the pub on their own like that were no better than they should be. I heard her telling May one day,’ Jenny said.

‘You shouldn’t have been listening.’

‘I couldn’t help it,’ Jenny cried. ‘Anyway, that’s what she said. D’you think that?’

Meg did a bit, but it would hardly help Doris’s case to say so. She chose her words with care. ‘I don’t know really. The world is changing all the time. I mean, there are more women working now, married women with families like Aunt Rosie, often doing a man’s job. And more women in the Forces than there have ever been, and maybe that changes your perception a bit. Anyway, let’s not condemn the woman out of hand. Let’s give her a chance, because if Daddy has chosen her, then it would be better for all of you if you try to get on with her.’

As the family were worrying about Doris, news came of discontent spreading throughout central Europe with Hitler’s invasion of Czechoslovakia. Not only was the British Government alarmed, but also the governments of many other European countries, especially those near to Germany. Hitler, rumours of war and now Doris Caudwell – Meg felt weighed down with her anxieties.

Meg spent an uneasy couple of weeks with the children. But they were off school from Wednesday for the Easter holidays and she would be meeting Joy on Good Friday. Her father was off work then too, but he declared on that morning he had plans of his own and he would be out all day. Meg could barely bring herself to talk to him and so she said nothing to this and later he came up behind her as she was washing up.

‘You seeing Joy today?’ he asked.

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Then take this.’ He pressed a pound note into her hand. ‘Get some chocolate eggs for the children.’

Meg nodded. ‘All right.’

She had intended doing that anyway, as the children had given up sweets for the whole of Lent, so she thought they deserved chocolate eggs on Easter Sunday. She also relished the freedom of going out without Ruth because her siblings would look after her and, she thought wryly, she might be able to have a proper conversation with Joy and a hot cup of tea as she wouldn’t be charging around after Ruth all lunchtime.

That day, though, Joy had news of her own that was so upsetting it put Meg’s problems with her father and Doris into perspective.

‘My brother Colin’s joining the Territorial Army . . He has to report next week to Thorp Street Barracks. Our cousin, Barry, is joining as well.’

‘But what’s it all about?’

‘War, that’s what it’s about,’ Joy said. ‘They don’t ask for a whole lot of young man to volunteer and train them to fight for nothing.’

‘No.’

‘And there’s something else,’ Joy said. ‘One of our neighbours is in the TA already and he had been doing manoeuvres abroad somewhere. Anyway, his wife was telling Mom he’s been recalled. People say if we go to war they’re going to be used to guard key installations.’

‘Golly,’ Meg said. ‘It’s really getting serious, isn’t it?

‘I think so. Dad said Hitler had cast his eyes at Poland now, and if he attacks them we will be at war because we have a pact or some such thing.’

‘So Nicholas was right all along,’ Meg said.

‘Looks like,’ Joy said. ‘Don’t you wish he hadn’t been?’

‘You bet I do,’ Meg said. ‘But if war comes there isn’t a thing we can do about it.’

‘I know,’ Joy said. ‘And that’s what’s really scary.’

Despite the worrying world news, life had to go on and what was interrupting Meg’s sleep was not Hitler’s invasion of Czechoslovakia, but this Doris Caudwell that her dad appeared to have such a fancy for. She knew for the sake of her siblings she was going to try very hard to like the woman but whatever she said, the children could not be persuaded to warm to the idea of a stepmother of any size, shape or description. They had no desire to meet her and were cross and difficult when they heard that their dad had invited her to Sunday tea.

Meg felt she had to make an impression so cleaned the house to within an inch of its life on Saturday while Terry emptied the ashes and black leaded the grate before laying the fire afresh. Meg polished with such vigour that the scent of lavender still lingered in the air on Sunday morning. When Charlie came down dressed ready for Mass the following morning he found Meg on her own apart from Ruth. She was looking around the room in some satisfaction for she felt she had done all she could and the room looked as cosy and inviting as she could make it. Her father said, ‘Your mother would have been proud of you for the mature way you are dealing with this, Meg looked at her father coldly, hardly able to believe that she once thought him the greatest man in the universe. ‘I would rather you didn’t mention my mother today of all days,’ she said crisply. ‘If Mom was still alive, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, nor would we be having a visitor. As for being proud of me, well, it is just to show this Doris that we know how to treat guests.’

‘I wish you wouldn’t call her “this Doris”,’ Charlie said.

‘Well, I wish lots of things were different too, and “this Doris” is how I think of her,’ Meg said. ‘But don’t worry, I know how to conduct myself. As for me being mature, I’m as heartsick as the children, if you want the truth, but I am keeping a lid on my feelings for their sakes. Today they will have to welcome a person they don’t want and didn’t think they’d ever need.’

‘I know,’ Charlie said.

‘No, Dad,’ Meg replied, ‘I don’t think you have the least idea how any of us are really feeling. All I’ll ask is that you don’t rush into this. Take it slowly and make sure we all get to know Doris much better before you make it permanent. It will be better for the children that way.’

As they walked to Mass together later, Charlie was deep in thought. He knew that Meg was right, but he had a feeling things might be taken out of his hands because of what was happening in Europe. He had discussed it with his brothers.

‘I reckon I’ll be called up if we go to war,’ he’d said.

Robert had been astounded. ‘Surely not?’

‘Well, I’m only thirty-eight,’ Charlie had said.

‘It’s the young fellows they’ll need.’

‘It’s every able-bodied fellow they’ll need to beat Hitler, if you ask me,’ Charlie said. He glanced at Alec, two years his senior. ‘You might be going along with me. I was talking to a bloke at work and he said when war is declared there will be a call-up of men from the ages of eighteen to forty-one.’

‘How do people get to know these things?’

‘I don’t know, but if he’s right, that’s the two of us.’

‘Susan will go mad.’

‘Think the War Office will care about that?’ Charlie said. ‘She’ll have to cope like everyone else. It’s my kids I worry about.’

And he did, because if he wasn’t around at all maybe the authorities would take a dim view of Meg looking after all the children on her own. She was only just sixteen now. The children might be taken off her and put into care. He had heard dreadful tales about children placed in care. A man he worked with, having no handy relatives to look after his two children – a baby of twelve months and a little boy of two and a half – had them placed in care while his wife was undergoing surgery in hospital. He tried to see them quite a few times but was prevented from doing so and told it would be upsetting for them. He thought probably that was right, and concentrated his energies on helping his wife get better as quickly as possible.

A couple of months later, when his wife was home and recovered enough to care for the children, they were told that as the children had had no contact with either parent for some time, they had both been adopted and were settled now with new parents. They were not allowed to know where and there was no way they could fight the decision through the courts. Their children were lost to them. The man said his wife was destroyed by the thought she would never see her beloved children again, and six months later she threw herself under a train.

If war was declared, Charlie might have to marry Doris quicker than he had really intended to. He knew she would have him. She’d been hinting at marriage for some time, though initially she had balked when he’d told her how many children he had. She certainly hadn’t banked on that. She didn’t even like children.

Charlie didn’t notice her initial reaction, however, comfortable in the assumption that all women wanted children and considered it a tragedy if they couldn’t have any. So he expressed his sympathy to Doris for her childless state and said that it must have been a great cross to bear.

Doris could see that Charlie was nervous about her meeting his children as he called for her that afternoon. She knew all there was to know about men and was aware that while Charlie lusted after her, when she wasn’t driving him mad with passion he cared deeply for his children. It was plain to her that to have him she would have to have them, at least for now. The eldest, though, he’d said was sixteen, and the second was fourteen, so soon they’d be off his hands, out to work and sorting themselves out. The other three were coming up and she’d soon have them working for their keep. Pity he’d been landed with the baby. She wondered why he’d kept it when he admitted that he hadn’t taken to the child, but that could be gone into later. But still, the children were there for now so a lot hinged on how they would get on that day.

Doris started as she meant to go on. But she dressed with care. She’d had a marcel wave the day before and her hair tinted so there was no hint of grey in her dark blond locks, which fell in folds very becomingly. She had a lovely figure, though she was inclined to be busty, which Charlie took to be an advantage, and the navy-blue costume she’d chosen accentuated her figure to perfection. She wore it over a lacy pink blouse that showed no hint of cleavage, and a pale blue cloche hat that did not disturb her hair too much, and she had on silk stockings and smart black patent shoes with a small heel.

She applied many cosmetics to accentuate her features. Maeve had used very little other than a pot of Pond’s cold cream, so Charlie was unaware of how Doris was using her products. He just knew that he had seldom met a woman of Doris’s age, which she said was thirty-five, with such flawless skin and a dusting of pink on her cheeks, or one with such long eyelashes, almost perfectly shaped eyebrows, dark, mysterious eyes and a wonderfully kissable, red pouting mouth. When Charlie arrived to escort her he thought his Doris the picture of loveliness and when he took her in his arms the potent waft of perfume she was wearing almost made him light-headed.

‘Oh, my darling girl,’ he cried. ‘You look terrific, just terrific. My children will soon love you as much as I do. What a pity it is that you were blessed with no children of your own.’

Doris said nothing, but suppressed a smile as they walked along Bristol Street toward the Halletts’ home. She had never intended having any children. Her husband, Gerry, had agreed with her and said there were ways of preventing pregnancy and he had dealt with that side of things.

Their lives had consisted of going out and having a good time. Drink and drugs featured highly, and though Doris had been trained as a seamstress, she had given that up when she had moved in with, and later married, Gerry. He was a drug dealer and an inveterate gambler. All sorts of shady characters came to their flat and Doris had to be ‘nice’ to many of them. A gambling debt that Gerry had incurred could be cancelled out, or substantially reduced, if she gave the punters a good enough time. She knew many ways of pleasing a man and thought prostitution easy money, and she was always in great demand.