A Girls Guide to Vampires (12 page)

Your mind can't recognize what's real and what's not
, the voice in my head whispered.
Something is wrong with you
.

"Joy."

Raphael's voice glowed like a beacon in the maelstrom of my whirling thoughts. I fought to control the swelling panic that gripped me, tried to focus my thoughts so they didn't drag me down with them, drowning in a sea of confusion and fear. Desperately I clung to the thought that if I could just have a little time, I could figure things out and make sense of all the disorder.

There is no hope. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!

"Joy."

"There is nothing wrong with me!" I yelled at Raphael. "
So
I have a few visions? So what? Who doesn't? I REFUSE TO GO MAD!"

The words echoed in the long, narrow hallway, disturbed only by the muffled hum of noise from the bar. Shocked that I had yelled out loud, I stared wordlessly at Raphael.

He pursed his lips. "I think you're going to be more trouble than I first anticipated."

Chapter Six

Dinner was a trial. Despite my bellowed statement that I would not allow myself to go mad, I was worried about the disintegration of a formerly sound, if not terribly brilliant, mind. As I saw it, life was offering me two paths: Either I could believe in vampires and live happily ever after, or I could go not-so-quietly insane and have myself locked up. Given those choices, there was really no contest. I took a deep mental breath and told my skeptical self that I was only doing this for sanity's sake.

I would believe in vampires.

During dinner neither Christian nor Raphael made mention of the episode in the hall, a fact that left me wondering uneasily if they were humoring me in order to keep me from going off the deep end again.

I did not like the feeling.

"Oh, come on, have a little din-din. Tell you what, it'll be my treat," Roxy pleaded with Raphael a few minutes later.

"No, thank you. I told you I've already eaten."

"Yeah, but surely you could put away a little something extra? You're a big guy, I'm sure there's room in there for a little pork and sauerkraut, eh?" Roxy grinned at him, nudging me under the table with her toes. I gave her the one-eyebrow. "Yes? You wanted something?" lift, as perfected by the man sitting across the table from me.

"No, thank you."

"How about dessert?
The strudel here is really good."

"No, thank you. I don't want anything."

"Roxy, leave him alone."

"Appetizer?"

"No."

"Glass of wine?"

"I don't drink wine."

"Roxy!"

"I can't sit here and eat my stuffed pork and dumplings if he's not going to eat anything!" Roxy declared
,
frowning at Christian in a meaningful manner until he obediently transferred his attention to the menu. She turned back to Raphael and was going to bait him further, but I made the squinty eyes to end all squinty eyes at her, and for what
was probably the first time in her life
, she backed off.

"Geez, you guys don't have to look at me like that, I was just expressing a polite interest. Wasn't I expressing a polite interest, Joy?"

"No, you were being obnoxious and pushy. You deserve to be snapped at."

"Oh, sure, you take
his
side. No surprise there, considering you almost had your tongue down his throat a few minutes ago."

"ROXY!"

"Good, here comes the waitress. Has everyone but Stretch here decided what they want?"

I prayed for an earthquake to open the earth up at my feet and swallow me whole. From the martyred look on Raphael's face, he was praying the same thing.

"So, do you live around here?" Roxy asked Christian once we had placed our orders.

He nodded, his fingers tracing the rim of his wineglass. "I do.
About a kilometer west of here."

"Really?
What do you do?"

"Roxanne!" I slapped at her hand as she was about to snag the last bit of bread.

"What?"

"It's not polite to grill people. I told you almost everyone but Americans find it invasive to question them about their life."

She
grinned
her pixie grin at him. "Sorry; didn't mean to be rude."

He smiled as he took the piece of bread she offered. Roxy turned to me with her eyebrows lowered. "Am I allowed
to talk
about myself, or is that also rude?"

I shot Raphael a "what can I do with her?" look. He lifted both eyebrows in return in a manner that seemed to suggest a gag might be effective. I was forced to agree he had a point.

Christian laughed at Roxy's question, the warm sound rolling around the room and covering everything in a soft blanket of silk. "I'm not in the least bit offended by your
questions,
although I would much rather hear about what brings two such lovely women to a small corner of the Czech Republic."

"A wild goose chase," I muttered.

Roxy ignored me. "Have you ever heard of a local author named Dante?" she asked Raphael and Christian. The former shook his head.

Christian frowned slightly as he toyed with his bread, rubbing crumbs off the crust. "Yes, I have."

"I thought you might; he lives in this area," Roxy continued, digging through her sizeable purse for a copy of the book she was reading. "He writes the most delicious books about Moravians—vampires, you know—and we're dying to meet him. The books are fabulous, utterly, utterly fabulous, with mysterious, dark, brooding heroes to die for. You really should read them—not that you'd find the heroes to die for, since you're men, not unless you're…" She glanced up at Christian and Raphael, then back down into her purse. "You really should read them. There are twelve books out now, and there's supposed to be another one in a few months. Drat, I must have left the book in my room."

Christian's brows rose as he looked from Roxy to
myself
. I gave him a five for effort—he was good, but he couldn't hold a candle to the Browmaster sitting opposite me. Raphael was leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed,
a
pained expression on his face. I couldn't figure out if he was bored with the conversation or the company. He certainly wasn't contributing much to the conversation. I wondered why, if he was so unhappy, he'd agreed to sit with us; then I wondered why I cared. Just because I was the teensiest bit attracted to the man didn't mean I had to like him.

I shot a look at him from under my lashes. He watched me through half-closed eyes, his expression making blood rush to all sorts of interesting spots on my body. My question as to why he was bothering with us was answered by the interest that flared deep within the glittering slivers of amber.

Christian listened as Roxy recapped the plot of the latest book, continuing to toy with what remained of his bread, looking a bit askance at Roxy's enthusiasm. Raphael glanced at his watch, which prompted me to shut Roxy up and turn the conversation to something that might interest him.

"I really don't think they care about the books, Rox."

"On the contrary," Raphael spoke up. "I'm finding it
a fascinating look at what women feel are
missing from their lives."

"Missing? What do you mean, missing?" I asked.

He rubbed a finger along his jaw, his lips donning an insufferably smug look. "From what Roxy says, women are the primary readers of these books."

"Yeah, so?"

"And they feature male characters
who
are dominant and aggressive, especially toward women?"

"They're called alpha males, and what of it?"

A slight smile quirked his lips.
"You needn't get so defensive; I was merely pointing out that books whose readership is predominantly female, featuring aggressive male characters and including what I assume are numerous scenes of a licentious nature—"

"Licentious?" I gasped. How dare he say that about Dante's fabulous, romantic, sensual,
erotic
books?

"I bet you're one of those men who
likes
to feel superior to women," Roxy said suspiciously.

Christian turned a laugh into a cough. Raphael and I ignored both of them.

"—can only indicate that the books strike a chord with their readers, fulfilling a need, if you will, unmet in their everyday lives."

"Well, look who has a psychology degree," I snorted, and damning the calories, slathered fresh butter on my piece of bread.

"Bristol University, 1992," he agreed.

"Oh. Sorry." I ate crow in the form of my bread.

"I'm not." Roxy shot him a squinty eyed glare. "I think he's one of the alpha males he's so quick to damn."

"You tell me, then," Raphael offered, leaning backward on the back legs of the chair, his hands locked behind his head, "what it is you both find so attractive in these books."

I looked between him and Christian, wondering if they were just humoring me again.

"Please," the latter said, brushing bread crumbs from his shirt, and giving me an encouraging grin. I thought something flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly gone. "I am just as interested as Raphael. Are the men such as you described the type to interest you, personally?"

"A man like one of Dante's heroes?"
Roxy asked.

He nodded.

"Ooooh," she squealed, "yes! Yes!"

"Not on your life," I answered at the same time. "They're fun in fiction, but I imagine real alpha males are the absolute pits to live with. They've got all those arrogance and domination issues, not to mention being obstinate, pigheaded, and determined to rule everyone's lives. Alpha males are not what women are looking for in a man." I smiled pointedly at Raphael.

"Don't listen to her, she's got no spirit. You have to understand, these heroes aren't just alpha males,
they're
Moravians.
Dark Ones.
Vampires
."

Raphael rolled his eyes. Christian smiled, waiting until the waitress set down our meals before continuing. "I would have thought most people would find vampirism an experience they would not wish to explore in any depth, let alone consider it an asset in a mate."

"You're dead wrong there," Raphael said before Roxy could dispute Christian. "I've been with the GothFaire only four weeks, but they've made a small fortune at each of their stops. Some people come for the bands they hire, others come for the novelty of a traveling fair, but most are young people who want to be a part of the Goth community."

"Goth?"
Christian asked him.

"It stands for Gothic, supposedly a society devoted to the dark side of life.
Vampires, necromancers, morbid poetry and loud, grating music… anything that can be classified as strange and unusual.
From what I've seen, the stranger and more unusual a person or thing, the more successful it'll be at the fair."

"Poseurs," Roxy said.

"Dominic," I offered.

"Exactly," he agreed with both of us.

"You do not believe that Dominic and company are what they claim, then?" Christian asked.

Raphael snorted in the negative, and sat upright again, glancing at his watch.

"And how about you?"
Christian asked Roxy and me.

Roxy watched Raphael closely for a minute. "Well… Dominic might not be a vampire, but I do believe they exist. I'm quite certain that Dante couldn't have made up the whole race of Moravians based on just a little folklore. There has to be some truth in it."

"Ah. And the lady who refuses to be mad? Are you a skeptic or a believer?"

A blush crept up my cheeks as I told myself not to be annoyed. I had wanted them to stop pussyfooting around me, and Christian had done just that. I met his dark gaze and shrugged, unwilling to commit myself verbally. Despite the decision to do whatever it took to keep my mind from slipping away, I was having difficulty admitting out loud that I believed in something
so
extreme as vampires.

"Some people might consider it foolish to view a vampire, these Dark Ones, as a source of entertainment," Christian commented to Roxy.

"And if vampires really existed, they'd be right," Raphael interrupted. "You don't believe that Dominic is a real vampire, do you?"

Christian's eyes darkened. I wondered if it was easy to do. I made a mental note to practice in front of a mirror to see if I could do it. "No. I believe he is merely playacting a role."

"And not doing a very convincing job of it, either," I said wryly.

"I agree, but I'm afraid others are not so clear-sighted. You have not
seen
the north meadow today?"

"The north meadow?
Oh, you mean the big open area beyond the hotel? No, we were off in the other direction today. Why? What's going on there?" Roxy asked.