A Good Enough Reason (8 page)

“No, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“I don’t know.”

“Hey, I’m not going to force you. Just keep it in mind, okay?”

Ellis nodded, even though he knew he’d never talk about this again unless Dale was the one bringing it up.

“Oh, and the sex.”

Ellis startled. “What?”

“It’s another reason. Can’t forget the sex.”

Images Ellis didn’t want to see flashed in his mind, so he shook his head. “Oh, shut up. The last thing I want is to hear about is your sex life. It would scar me for life.”

“Ah, I bet you’re jealous.”

“Of you? Do I have to remind you Stephanie doesn’t have the right plumbing for me?”

“You’re jealous of her, then.”

Ellis stared. He knew he had to make a joke out of it if he didn’t want things to become awkward between them, but gosh, it was so hard. “Hardly. If I had to choose, then yeah, I’d be jealous of you.”

Dale barked out a laugh and was immediately shushed by the dragon lady. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

Ellis was relieved when they went back to their research, but the entire conversation left an unpleasant aftertaste.

“MOM? ANYONE?
I’m home.”

Ellis groaned at the sound of Connor’s voice. “Living room!” he answered. He looked up from his book as Connor came in.

“Hey.”

“Really, Connor? Really?”

“What?”

“Oh, come on. You and Damien moved out, yet you’re here more often than when you lived here! Can’t I get just one little year of peace before I’m off to college?”

Connor smirked and flopped on the couch next to Ellis. He reached up and tried to ruffle Ellis’s hair, but Ellis dodged the offending hand. “Hey, don’t do that!”

“Why? It’s not like you have to seduce anyone.” Connor leaned against Ellis, pressing him into the back of the couch as he tried to touch his hair.

Ellis squirmed. “How do you know? I could have a date.”

Connor made a victorious noise and grabbed Ellis’s hair in his fist. Ellis froze, because the last time it had happened, Connor had left Ellis minus a few strands. He’d rather let his brother ruffle his hair. It would be less painful than to continue fighting.

“You have a date, huh?”

“I didn’t say that.” Ellis pushed away as soon as Connor released him. He made a show of straightening his clothes and his hair, even knowing the latter was probably a lost cause.

Connor poked Ellis in the ribs. “Come on, spill the beans. Who is she?”

“I told you, I don’t have a date. I was just joking around.”

“Well, it’s about time we find you a girlfriend. You’re almost eighteen, and I’ve never seen you with a girl.”

“What about Anna? She’s a girl.”

Connor waved Ellis’s words away. “She doesn’t count. She’s basically already married to Rick.”

“What is it with everyone trying to find me a bo—girlfriend?” Ellis bit his lower lip and prayed his brother hadn’t noticed his slip.

Connor did look at him as if he were trying to read him, but he didn’t ask, so Ellis relaxed.

“So, have you heard from Matt?”

“Yeah, he called the other day.” Matt had become a member of Ellis’s family over the years, pretty much a fourth brother. “What about you? Are you still with what’s her name?”

“Jess.”

“Oh, okay. Are you still with Jess, or have you moved on again?”

“You say that like it’s a habit or something.”

Ellis stared at his brother incredulously. “That’s because it is. You go through more girlfriends in a year than I go through books.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, maybe not that many, but if you don’t have a different one for every month of the year, I’d be surprised.”

“I like Jess.”

“The surprising part is that she likes you.”

Connor mock punched Ellis in the shoulder. “Very funny.”

“You know me, I live to entertain.”

“I thought you lived to aggravate me.”

“That too.”

Ellis would never admit it, but he missed his brother. Well, he missed both of them, but he saw Damien nearly every day while Connor didn’t often come by the house. He couldn’t help but wonder how much he’d be able to see them when he went to college, even though he’d chosen the one closest to home.

Ellis didn’t realize he’d fallen silent until Connor squeezed his shoulder. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“About what?”

“About anything.”

They fell silent again, but this time Connor’s eyes stayed focused on Ellis. It made Ellis uncomfortable, because he wasn’t ready to confess anything at the moment, and he didn’t know if he’d ever be. “Nothing to say. I’m fine.”

“Ellis….”

Ellis shook Connor’s hand off and stood up. “I’m, uh, thirsty. Do you want something to drink?”

“Sure.”

Ellis nearly ran to the kitchen. He pressed his hands on the marble counter and closed his eyes as he tried to slow his heartbeat. Connor knew, or at least suspected, that Ellis was gay.

Ellis swore. He couldn’t believe he’d slipped up, but both Dale and Anna were always talking about boyfriends and stuff, and it had just come out.
Damn.

He hoped Connor would forget about it and not push him to confess, but he knew it probably wouldn’t happen. They all were stubborn like mules in his family, and though Damien was the worst one, Connor wasn’t so far behind.

Ellis grabbed two sodas from the fridge and walked back to the living room. He handed one of the cans to Connor and sat beside him again. Ellis made a show of opening his can and drinking from it as if his throat were parched, even though it wasn’t.

When he couldn’t avoid it anymore, Ellis looked at his brother. Connor was looking at him, his eyes curious. He was watching Ellis as if he were trying to read him, and Ellis hoped he couldn’t. “Mom should be back home soon. You’re lucky. You got her free night.”

“Why do you think I came today? It wasn’t luck. I called to be sure she’d be home.”

“You just wanted to avoid Dad’s cooking,” Ellis accused.

“Of course I did. Even
I’m
not crazy enough to appreciate that.”

Ellis laughed and made to take his book back, but Connor stopped him with a hand on Ellis’s arm. Ellis froze and kept his eyes on the book, scared of what was about to happen.

“Talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? I understand you’re not a kid, and I’m not your hero anymore, but I’m still your brother.”

Ellis smiled and turned to look at Connor. “Yeah, still my favorite brother.”

“Why don’t you talk to me, then?”

“Because I don’t want to lose this.” Ellis gestured at the room, hoping Connor would understand him, and Connor let his hand fall away.

“What could you tell me that would make you lose me?”

“Connor… please let it go.”

Connor sighed heavily, and it made Ellis feel guilty. He didn’t want Connor to think he didn’t trust him or that their relationship was weakening. Family was the most important thing in the world for Ellis, even if they were stubborn, loud, nosy, and annoying.

“All right.”

Ellis reached for his brother and hugged him. It wasn’t something they did often, not anymore, and he hoped it showed Connor how much Ellis loved him.

Connor’s arms went around Ellis, and he hugged back. “I’ll stop nosing in your stuff, but I want you to remember I love you,” Connor whispered in Ellis’s ear. “I know we don’t see each other as much as we could lately, and I don’t say this often, but you’re my little brother, and nothing you do will make me love you less, I promise.”

Ellis nodded against Connor’s shoulder, and after a few pats on the shoulders, they separated. Both of them leaned back against the couch and looked at everything but each other.

Ellis grabbed his book again as Connor turned the TV on, and they didn’t talk again until their mom came home.

“YOU READY,
Al?”

Alicia scowled at Dale. “Don’t call me Al.”

“Sorry.” He loved teasing his sister, and she was especially prickly about her name. He’d been calling her Al since she was born, but she’d started hating it about a year before and corrected him when he used it ever since. “So? Are you ready?”

“Yes. My bag is packed.”

“Let’s go say good-bye to Mom, then.”

They were going to their dad’s for the weekend, and Dale couldn’t wait. He missed his dad, and a few weekends a month weren’t enough. He wanted to talk to his mom about it, but he couldn’t seem to find the right moment.

Dale knew his mother would feel bad about it, not because Dale wanted to see his dad more, but because she’d think it was because she wasn’t enough, and that wasn’t true. Yes, she worked a lot, but Dad did too, and Dale loved taking care of his sister. She was easy to deal with.

Besides, in only a few months, Dale would start college, and he wouldn’t see either of his parents much. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss them, but he’d be going to the closest college, so he knew he could come home—to both his homes—whenever he wanted.

Mom was folding laundry in her bedroom. Dale kissed her cheek quickly and hugged her, then left the room to put their bags in his car.

Alicia got there soon after, and they left. The ride to their dad’s apartment wasn’t long, and Alicia spent the entire time singing the last single of whatever girl band she was in love with this week. Dale didn’t pay attention to it anymore because he was used to it, but damn, his sister would never win a singing competition.

He grabbed both their bags when they got there and followed Alicia inside the building and into the elevator. Their dad was waiting for them at the door when they stepped out, and Alicia threw herself in his arms.

Dale smiled and followed at a more sedate pace, and by the time he got there, Alicia had already disappeared inside the apartment. He smiled at his dad, and they quickly hugged, then went inside.

Alicia was already in her room, so Dale handed her bag to her and went to his. He plugged the charger into his phone and left it there, then headed to the kitchen. Dad was cooking, and it smelled divine. “Damn, you’re spoiling us, Dad.”

Dad pointed at him with a wooden spoon. “No swearing, Dale. And thanks. I like spoiling you. I wish I could do it more often.”

Dale lifted himself up and sat on the counter. “I’m thinking about asking Mom if we can come here when she’s away for work. We’re home alone anyway.”

“I’d love to have you here, Dale.”

Dale hummed and watched his dad cook. He wondered what Ellis was doing, then stopped and wondered why he was wondering that. His little half crush on his partner made him uncomfortable, both because he had a girlfriend and should be crushing on her, and because it made it hard for Dale to forget he was bi rather than straight.

He knew it, of course, but before, it had been easy to forget or at least to avoid thinking about. Ellis was making it harder, and Dale didn’t like it.

“Anything new?”

“Yeah. I have a new partner in English. The assignment is 20 percent of our final grade.”

Dad looked sideways at Ellis while adding salt to the zucchini. “Is he helping, or are you doing all the work?”

Dale thought about how he’d been late that day. “He’s doing a lot, don’t worry.”

“Good. Now call your sister. Dinner’s ready.”

Dale hopped down and obeyed. Dinner was nice, and Dale helped with the dishes. He left his dad in front of the TV and went to bed, his thoughts once again wandering off to Ellis. Dale groaned. He couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Ellis.

It couldn’t be good.

Chapter Five

“HEY, WHAT
do you think of Anthony?”

Ellis looked up from his notebook and gave Dale a confused glance. “Who?”

“Anthony Wilkins.”

“Who’s that?”

“He’s on the soccer team with me. Tall, broad shoulders, shaggy blond hair.”

“
Okaaay
.” Ellis waited for Dale to elaborate, but he just stared back at Ellis expectantly. Ellis sighed. He had no intention of spending the rest of his lunch break looking at Dale and waiting for him to open his mouth and talk, not with how hard it had been to find an empty classroom he could write in. He should have known his privacy wouldn’t last long. “What about Anthony?”

“Rumors say he’s gay.”

Ellis had never heard that particular rumor, but it didn’t surprise him since he tended to avoid listening to them anyway. He nodded. “Good for him, but I don’t see what it has to do with me.”

“What do you think about him?”

“I don’t even know him, Dale. How can I think anything about him?”

Dale’s enthusiasm seemed to wane a bit, but he trooped on. “He could be your prom date.”

“No.”

The smile on Dale’s face faded completely. “Why not? He’s nice and cute.”

Ellis dismissed the fact that Dale thought a guy was cute, knowing his mind would drift back to that particular detail later, and asked, “How do you know for sure he’s gay?”

“Well, I don’t have 100 percent certainty.”

“So?”

“I could ask him if you want, maybe try to see if he likes you.”

“How could he like me if we don’t know each other? Besides, as far as we know, he’s straighter than you.”

Dale paled a bit, and Ellis thought about what he’d said, but he couldn’t think of anything bad, unless Dale was upset about the
straighter than you
thing.

“You sure you don’t want me to ask him?”

“No, thanks. I already told you I’m fine on my own. You and Anna should go on with your lives instead of meddling in mine.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if we did.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

Dale huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. I won’t ask you again, okay?”

Ellis smiled. “Finally! Thank you, Dale.”

Dale leaned toward Ellis. “What are you working on? Homework?”

Ellis blushed a bit. “Ah, not exactly. I mean, I should be working on my Fiction Writing project, but I’m kind of stuck at the moment, so I thought I’d try something else.”

“What are you writing, then? And why are you blushing?”