Read A Good Old-Fashioned Future Online
Authors: Bruce Sterling
“Lost ’em in the haulbags.”
“Well, that leaves cheesewires,” Katrinko concluded. “I got two.”
“I got six.”
Katrinko nodded in delight. “Six cheesewires! You’re loaded for bear, man!”
“I love cheesewires,” Pete grunted. He had helped to invent them.
Eight minutes and twelve seconds later they were inside the starship. They reset the cored-out plug behind them, delicately gluing it in place and carefully obscuring the hair-thin cuts.
Katrinko sidestepped into a grove of bamboo. Her
camou bloomed in green and tan and yellow, with such instant and treacherous ease that Pete lost her entirely. Then she waved, and the spex edge detectors kicked in on her silhouette.
Pete lifted his spex for a human naked-eye take on the situation. There was simply nothing there at all. Katrinko was gone, less than a ghost, like pitchforking mercury with your eyelashes.
So they were safe now. They could glide through this bottled farm like a pair of bad dreams.
They scanned the spacecraft from top to bottom, looking for dangerous and interesting phenomena. Control rooms manned by Asian space technicians maybe, or big lethal robots, or video monitors—something that might cramp their style or kill them. In the thirty-seven floors of the spacecraft, they found no such thing.
The five thousand inhabitants spent their waking hours farming. The crew of the starship were preindustrial, tribal, Asian peasants. Men, women, old folks, little kids.
The local peasants rose every single morning, as their hot networks of wiring came alive in the ceiling. They would milk their goats. They would feed their sheep, and some very odd, knee-high, dwarf Bactrian camels. They cut bamboo and netted their fishponds. They cut down tamarisks and poplar trees for firewood. They tended melon vines and grew plums and hemp. They brewed alcohol, and ground grain, and boiled millet, and squeezed cooking oil out of rapeseed. They made clothes out of hemp and raw wool and leather, and baskets out of reeds and straw. They ate a lot of carp.
And they raised a whole mess of chickens. Somebody not from around here had been fooling with the chickens. Apparently these were super space-chickens of some kind, leftover lab products from some serious long-term attempt to screw around with chicken DNA. The hens produced
five or six lumpy eggs every day. The roosters were enormous, and all different colors, and very smelly, and distinctly reptilian.
It was very quiet and peaceful inside the starship. The animals made their lowing and clucking noises, and the farm workers sang to themselves in the tiny round-edged fields, and the incessant foot-driven water pumps would clack rhythmically, but there were no city noises. No engines anywhere. No screens. No media.
There was no money. There were a bunch of tribal elders who sat under the blossoming plum trees outside the big stone granaries. They messed with beads on wires, and wrote notes on slips of wood. Then the soldiers, or the cops—they were a bunch of kids in crude leather armor, with spears—would tramp in groups, up and down the dozens of stairs, on the dozens of floors. Marching like crazy, and requisitioning stuff, and carrying stuff on their backs, and handing things out to people. Basically spreading the wealth around.
Most of the weird bearded old guys were palace accountants, but there were some others, too. They sat cross-legged on mats in their homemade robes, and straw sandals, and their little spangly hats, discussing important matters at slow and extreme length. Sometimes they wrote stuff down on palm leaves.
Pete and Katrinko spent a special effort to spy on these old men in the spangled hats, because after close study, they had concluded that this was the local government. They pretty much had to be the government. These old men with the starry hats were the only part of the population who weren’t being worked to a frazzle.
Pete and Katrinko found themselves a cozy spot on the roof of the granary, one of the few permanent structures inside the spacecraft. It never rained inside the starship, so there wasn’t much call for roofs. Nobody ever trespassed up on the roof of the granary. It was clear that the very idea of doing this was beyond local imagination. So Pete and Katrinko stole some bamboo water jugs, and
some lovely handmade carpets, and a lean-to tent, and set up camp there.
Katrinko studied an especially elaborate palm-leaf book that she had filched from the local temple. There were pages and pages of dense alien script. “Man, what do you suppose these yokels have to write about?”
“The way I figure it,” said Pete, “they’re writing down everything they can remember from the world outside.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Kinda building up an intelligence dossier for their little starship regime, see? Because that’s all they’ll ever know, because the people who put them inside here aren’t giving ’em any news. And they’re sure as hell never gonna let ’em out.”
Katrinko leafed carefully through the stiff and brittle pages of the handmade book. The people here spoke only one language. It was no language Pete or Katrinko could even begin to recognize. “Then this is their history. Right?”
“It’s their lives, kid. Their past lives, back when they were still real people, in the big real world outside. Transistor radios, and shoulder-launched rockets. Barbed wire, pacification campaigns, ID cards. Camel caravans coming in over the border, with mortars and explosives. And very advanced Sphere mandarin bosses, who just don’t have the time to put up with armed, Asian, tribal fanatics.”
Katrinko looked up. “That kinda sounds like
your
version of the outside world, Pete.”
Pete shrugged. “Hey, it’s what happens.”
“You suppose these guys really believe they’re inside a real starship?”
“I guess that depends on how much they learned from the guys who broke out of here with the picks and the ropes.”
Katrinko thought about it. “You know what’s truly pathetic? The shabby illusion of all this. Some spook mandarin’s crazy notion that ethnic separatists could be squeezed down tight, and spat out like watermelon seeds
into interstellar space.… Man, what a
come-on
, what an enticement, what an empty promise.”
“I could sell that idea,” Pete said thoughtfully. “You know how
far away
the stars really are, kid? About
four hundred years
away, that’s how far. You seriously want to get human beings to travel to another star, you gotta put human beings inside of a sealed can for four hundred solid years. But what are people supposed to do in there, all that time? The only thing they
can
do is quietly run a farm. Because that’s what a starship is. It’s a desert oasis.”
“So you want to try a dry-run starship experiment,” said Katrinko. “And in the meantime, you happen to have some handy religious fanatics in the backwoods of Asia, who are shooting your ass off. Guys who refuse to change their age-old lives, even though you are very, very hightech.”
“Yep. That’s about the size of it. Means, motive, and opportunity.”
“I get it. But I can’t believe that somebody went through with that scheme in real life. I mean, rounding up an ethnic minority, and sticking them down in some godforsaken hole, just so you’ll never have to think about them again. That’s just impossible!”
“Did I ever tell you that my grandfather was a Seminole?” Pete said.
Katrinko shook her head. “What’s that mean?”
“They were American tribal guys who ended up stuck in a swamp. The Florida Seminoles, they called ’em. Y’know, maybe they just
called
my grandfather a Seminole. He dressed really funny.… Maybe it just
sounded good
to call him a Seminole. Otherwise, he just would have been some strange, illiterate geezer.”
Katrinko’s brow wrinkled. “Does it
matter
that your grandfather was a Seminole?”
“I used to think it did. That’s where I got my skin color—as if that matters, nowadays. I reckon it mattered plenty to my grandfather, though.… He was always stompin’ and carryin’ on about a lot of weird stuff we
couldn’t understand. His English was pretty bad. He was never around much when we needed him.”
“Pete.…” Katrinko sighed. “I think it’s time we got out of this place.”
“How come?” Pete said, surprised. “We’re safe up here. The locals are not gonna hurt us. They can’t even
see
us. They can’t touch us. Hell, they can’t even
imagine
us. With our fantastic tactical advantages, we’re just like gods to these people.”
“I know all that, man. They’re like the ultimate dumb straight people. I don’t like them very much. They’re not much of a challenge to us. In fact, they kind of creep me out.”
“No way! They’re fascinating. Those baggy clothes, the acoustic songs, all that menial labor.… These people got something that we modern people just don’t have anymore.”
“Huh?” Katrinko said. “Like
what
, exactly?”
“I dunno,” Pete admitted.
“Well, whatever it is, it can’t be very important.” Katrinko sighed. “We got some serious challenges on the agenda, man. We gotta sidestep our way past all those angry robots outside, then head up that shaft, then hoof it back, four days through a freezing desert, with no haulbags. All the way back to the glider.”
“But Trink, there are two other starships in here that we didn’t break into yet. Don’t you want to see those guys?”
“What I’d like to see right now is a hot bath in a four-star hotel,” said Katrinko. “And some very big international headlines, maybe. All about
me
. That would be lovely.” She grinned.
“But what about the people?”
“Look, I’m not ‘people,’ ” Katrinko said calmly. “Maybe it’s because I’m a neuter, Pete, but I can tell you’re way off the subject. These people are none of our business. Our business now is to return to our glider in an
operational condition so that we can complete our assigned mission, and return to base with our data. Okay?”
“Well, let’s break into just one more starship first.”
“We gotta move, Pete. We’ve lost our best equipment, and we’re running low on body fat. This isn’t something that we can kid about and live.”
“But we’ll never come back here again. Somebody will, but it sure as heck won’t be us. See, it’s a Spider thing.”
Katrinko was weakening. “One more starship? Not both of ’em?”
“Just one more.”
“Okay, good deal.”
The hole they had cut through the starship’s hull had been rapidly cemented by robots. It cost them two more cheesewires to cut themselves a new exit. Then Katrinko led point, up across the stony ceiling, and down the carbon column to the second ship. To avoid annoying the lurking robot guards, they moved with hypnotic slowness and excessive stealth. This made it a grueling trip.
This second ship had seen hard use. The hull was extensively scarred with great wads of cement, entombing many lengths of dried and knotted rope. Pete and Katrinko found a weak spot and cut their way in.
This starship was crowded. It was loud inside, and it smelled. The floors were crammed with hot and sticky little bazaars, where people sold handicrafts and liquor and food. Criminals were being punished by being publicly chained to posts and pelted with offal by passersby. Big crowds of ragged men and tattooed women gathered around brutal cockfights, featuring spurred mutant chickens half the size of dogs. All the men carried knives.
The architecture here was more elaborate, all kinds of warrens, and courtyards, and damp, sticky alleys. After exploring four floors, Katrinko suddenly declared that she recognized their surroundings. According to Katrinko,
they were a physical replica of sets from a popular Japanese interactive samurai epic. Apparently the starship’s designers had needed some pre-industrial Asian village settings, and they hadn’t wanted to take the expense and trouble to design them from scratch. So they had programmed their construction robots with pirated game designs.
This starship had once been lavishly equipped with at least three hundred armed video camera installations. Apparently, the mandarins had come to the stunning realization that the mere fact that they were recording crime didn’t mean that they could control it. Their spy cameras were all dead now. Most had been vandalized. Some had gone down fighting. They were all inert and abandoned.
The rebellious locals had been very busy. After defeating the spy cameras, they had created a set of giant hullbreakers. These were siege engines, big crossbow torsion machines, made of hemp and wood and bamboo. The hullbreakers were starship community efforts, elaborately painted and ribboned, and presided over by tough, aggressive gang bosses with batons and big leather belts.
Pete and Katrinko watched a labor gang, hard at work on one of the hullbreakers. Women braided rope ladders from hair and vegetable fiber, while smiths forged pitons over choking, hazy charcoal fires. It was clear from the evidence that these restive locals had broken out of their starship jail at least twenty times. Every time they had been corralled back in by the relentless efforts of mindless machines. Now they were busily preparing yet another breakout.
“These guys sure have got initiative,” said Pete admiringly. “Let’s do ’em a little favor, okay?”
“Yeah?”
“Here they are, taking all this trouble to hammer their way out. But we still have a bunch of caps. We got no more use for ’em, after we leave this place. So the way I figure it, we blow their wall out big-time, and let a whole
bunch of ’em loose at once. Then you and I can escape real easy in the confusion.”
Katrinko loved this idea, but had to play devil’s advocate. “You really think we ought to interfere like that? That kind of shows our hand, doesn’t it?”
“Nobody’s watching anymore,” said Pete. “Some technocrat figured this for a big lab experiment. But they wrote these people off, or maybe they lost their anthropology grant. These people are totally forgotten. Let’s give the poor bastards a show.”
Pete and Katrinko planted their explosives, took cover on the ceiling, and cheerfully watched the wall blow out.
A violent gust of air came through as pressures equalized, carrying a hemorrhage of dust and leaves into interstellar space. The locals were totally astounded by the explosion, but when the repair robots showed up, they soon recovered their morale. A terrific battle broke out, a general vengeful frenzy of crab-bashing and sponge-skewering. Women and children tussled with the keets and bibbets. Soldiers in leather cuirasses fought with the bigger machines, deploying pikes, crossbow quarrels, and big robot-mashing mauls.