A Grave Inheritance (23 page)

His words should have calmed my raging emotions. Instead, they clamped like a fist around my already aching heart. Henry loved me—so much, in fact, that he would never be able to fully accept my gift. In an attempt to remove the trees from our path, Henry had exposed the rest of the forest. And the mountain on the other side. Clear as day, the future stared back, unblinking and devoid of hope.

A fresh sob shook me. “You’re going to leave me.”
Just like Julian’s father left his mother.

Henry started in surprise, then pulled me closer as though fearing I would try to escape again. “Where did you get such a foolish notion?” He traced a kiss along my tear stained cheek. “I’d sooner cut out my own heart.”

“Maybe not today, or even in a few years, but you’ll leave eventually, when my gift proves too great a burden.”

“How can you say that?” His voice vibrated with pain and disbelief. “Do you think my feelings so insincere?”

“No—”

“Then what?”

The truth danced before me, smirking in triumph. “You think I’m unnatural, and can’t accept what it means to be
leath’dhia
.” The words spilled out as new tears wet my cheeks.

“I see,” he said softly. Then cupping my chin, he turned my face until our eyes met. “What if I swore upon my soul to never leave you? Would that quell these doubts?”

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head despite his hold.

Grief marred his beautiful face. “You are quick to condemn me. I pledge my innermost love, and you cry ‘inadequate.’ I swear to never leave, and you cry ‘impossible.’” His voice cracked with emotion. “Fear does not qualify as proof, Selah, nor does it give you any more power than me to foresee the future.”

I drew breath to protest.

“Tell me this,” he said, cutting me off. “What if one of the gentlemen had accepted my challenge to duel tonight? Would you be pleased with my decision?”

I bristled from the suggestion. “Of course not. You promised not to participate in such a barbaric display of male bravado.”

“Not so,” Henry said, his voice once again level. “I pledged not to duel without profound cause, and the insults you bore tonight were cause enough in my mind.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! A few mean words could never justify your death.”

The fire cracked, sending a shower of sparks into the air. I jumped slightly, but Henry held my gaze firm. “I respectfully disagree with your assessment of just cause,” he said.

I clamped my cheeks tight to keep from screaming. Henry wanted to discuss dueling while our once-bright future burned out quicker than the fire. “What does it matter? So you have some bad habits. I’ve no doubt your stupid honor would survive if you didn’t insist on waving a sword at every offense. My duty as Brigid’s descendant is not negotiable. It cannot be ignored regardless of your love or my desire to live. Don’t you understand, Henry? You may think now that you can live with the uncertainty, but it will drive us apart when you can no longer accept that my duty must always come first.”

“But what of dueling?” he persisted. “I’ve dueled in the past and may have cause to duel again in the future.”

“That’s different. You just like to fight. I can’t change what I am.”

“Any more than I can,” Henry countered. “Do not assume that my
stupid
honor is any less precious than your duty to heal. It is the very core of a gentleman and at times the only thing that separates men from savages. Like it or not, dueling, on rare occasion, is a part of keeping that honor intact. It is a part of me, and something you will never be able to change without jeopardizing the man I am.” He rubbed the pad of his thumb across my cheek. “And hopefully, the man you still love.”

“You know I love you. That will never change.”

“Can you be at peace with dueling?”

“Heavens, no!”

He raised a tawny brow. “Then by your own admission, you can love me without fully accepting every part of my character. Is that correct?”

“I guess so, but Henry—”

“But nothing, Selah! If you are capable of unconditional love, then I claim the same privilege—to love you deeply and indelibly regardless of duty.” His hand dropped from my chin, and I stared at him, confused.

Henry sat motionless. Tension webbed his face, rippled just beneath the surface of his skin. While waiting for my reply, his body spoke a more visceral language. One hand gripped my waist while the other rested possessively on the flat of my stomach.

Could Julian have been mistaken? Perhaps the tragedy between his parents was not indicative of all marriages between humans and goddess born. I knew without doubt that Henry loved me, regardless of our argument the other night. So why had I been so sure that Julian was right? Why had I decided to believe him over Henry tonight?

A new truth began to edge its way forward.
Is it possible?

The breath turned thick in my throat. “I don’t know—”

“Yes, you do!” His green eyes blazed fiercely. “In your innermost heart, you know that we will always be together. That we are incapable of living without the other.”

The intensity of his stare burned through me, stripping my fears bare. I saw anew the man I loved, the man I had chosen to trust this past summer.

“Believe me,” Henry said, as though reading my mind. “I will never leave you.”

His deep voice flooded my senses, and I nodded before realizing what I had done.

“Say it,” he demanded. “I will hear it from your own lips.”

The words wobbled when I spoke. “You will never leave me.”

Relief washed over his face. “Blasted woman!” he laughed softly, and then buried his head in my neck. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. You’re stuck with me for life, Selah Kilbrid, and for the next if we can somehow manage it.”

I released a shuddering breath.
“Oh, Henry, I’m so sorry. How could I have been such a fool?”

“Good question.”

“You were so angry at All Hallows, I didn’t know what to think. And then we argued again at the palace, and afterwards when I was in the garden with Jul—” I caught myself at the last second.

Henry twined his fingers through a lock of curls that had fallen loose during our struggle. “What happened in the garden with Julian?”

My heart skipped a beat. “Nothing...” I stammered, the one word hardly convincing even to my own ears.

A slight pressure tugged on my scalp as Henry brought the curls to his lips. “Don’t tell me it’s nothing,” he murmured, “when his meddling clearly contributed to our misunderstanding tonight.”

Damn my blabbering tongue!
Stuck between lying to Henry and betraying Julian, one paltry excuse offered the slimmest hope of redemption. “I promised Julian not to tell.”

Henry pulled his head back to stare at me. Anxious at what he might find, I buried my face into his shirtfront, preferring to play ostrich rather than risk his probing eyes. Perhaps, if I didn’t say anything more, he might be satisfied and let the matter go. The methodic beating of his heart pulsed in my cheek, and I wished yet again for the ability to read his thoughts.

Henry sat very still, and I noticed that his breathing had matched my own. “I see,” he said at last. “Well, if you’re bound by such a promise, I will confront Lord Stroud myself in the morning.”

I jerked my head up, receiving a painful tug of hair from the sudden movement. “You can’t do that!”

The curl fell free, brushing against my cheek. “Do you really expect me to act otherwise?” He managed to look surprised, as though I had just told him to walk to China, rather than avoid a simple conversation. “Somehow Julian has managed to fill your head with poison, and I’ve every intention of learning just what he said. I can only imagine the fabrications he has created to shake your trust in me so markedly.”

“Please, don’t,” I pleaded. “I wanted to tell you, but Julian forbade it. I promise never to doubt you again.”

Henry released a long sigh. “I’m done with secrets, and after what happened tonight, I deserve the truth, one way or another.” He reached up to tuck the stray curl behind my ear. His hand lingered, and he traced a finger along the line of my cheek. “Selah, you may not see it this way, but keeping the truth from me is in essence a form of falsehood. And even our love is not immune to lies.”

His words brought me up short. “But...I...I thought...” My voice wavered to a halt.

What did I think?

Over the years, secrets and half-truths had become second nature, a necessary evil for someone like me to survive in the human world. This past summer, I had chosen to risk everything by revealing my ancestry to Henry. Certainly, Julian should have the same right to decide whom to trust with such an important confidence.

A dark shadow crossed my thoughts.
What if a secret becomes more than just a secret?
What if it is used to conceal ulterior motives and manipulate another person?

Julian must have known that by swearing me to secrecy about our kinship, I would be severely limited in relating our private conversations to Henry—the very conversations he used to plant seeds of doubt by filling my head with dreadful stories about his mother. To be sure, Julian had crossed the line of decorum and tried to turn my heart from Henry. But did these actions nullify any prior claims to my confidence?

Looking back on our brief acquaintance, I now saw a precarious stack of secrets, all rising up from the simple request for anonymity. And who would be hurt the most when the stack came tumbling down, which it would inevitably do if tonight were any indication.

Good heavens! A secret is a dangerous thing, indeed.

Henry brushed my cheek with a kiss. “Will you trust me completely or only in parts?”

Our future could not be based on parts. “Completely,” I said with newfound conviction. “You deserve the truth. I’ll tell you everything so long as you promise not to interrupt or chastise my judgment.”

He nodded. “I promise. No interruptions.”

With a long, steadying breath, I started by recounting my first meeting with Julian in its entirety. True to his word, Henry remained silent as I spoke, and I soon found myself telling him about Cate and the events of this evening, from the hound that had tried to kill me to the little wretch stalking the orphans.

At the end of my narrative, Henry released a low whistle under his breath. “Both Cate and Julian,” he said. “I would never have guessed.”

I bobbed my head in agreement. “I know. Before coming to England, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might not recognize another of my kind, yet I’ve stayed under Cate’s roof for a full week without the slightest inclination.”

Henry shifted, allowing me to snuggle deeper into his arms. “In hindsight, it makes perfect sense why she risked the king’s wrath by opening her home to you. I’ve plenty of friends in London, but she was the only one brave enough to extend an invitation.” He fell silent, and I again listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat. The knot had released its hold on my brain, coaxed away, I assumed, by the contentment I now felt from sharing so many burdens. Sure, I still had cartful of problems, but I no longer had to shoulder it alone.

“What surprises me most,” Henry said after a minute, “is how she let her mother die. I’ve known Cate for years and never suspected her capable of harboring such a grudge. I wonder if it’s wise for you to continue residing here.”

A strange sensation stirred in my chest, an impulse to defend Cate’s actions despite having had similar thoughts just a few short hours ago. “Mr. Larken might have been mistaken about Cate’s indifference to her mother’s illness.” My own father came to mind and his refusal to be healed. “Maybe her mother wanted to die and forbade Cate from healing her. Whatever the case, there’s no denying that she has already saved my life twice. Heaven knows, if she meant me harm, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

Henry stared into the fire, his brow heavy with thought. “Concern for your safety has clouded my better judgment. Cate has proven herself time and again, and I’ve no right to question her loyalty to either of us. There must be more to the story than even Mr. Larken knows.” Henry nestled his head against me and inhaled deeply. “So, is that all, or is there anything else you need to tell me?”

A flicker of guilt warmed my conscience. From his playful tone, he didn’t really think there could be anything more after what I had already told him.

To be fair, I had divulged everything of importance in regards to Julian, and saw no need to relate verbatim our entire conversation from the palace garden. Considering Henry’s jealous nature and apparent fondness for duels, only a simpleton would throw oil on that fire by needlessly reciting Julian’s various insults and attempts to win me over. The details of his sad past had sufficed to explain his ardent stance against my betrothal to a human rather than a
leath’dhia
, and due to some selective editing, Henry had taken the news of Julian’s proposal in stride. My limited version of events had been in the best interest of both men. So why did I feel so blasted guilty?

Henry encased both of my hands in one of his own. “Why are you fidgeting?”

I stared at the back of his hand, only now realizing that I had been twisting one of my rings. Unsure what to say, I remained silent, and let him draw his own conclusion.

“No more secrets, Selah. I’ll not be left in the dark wherever our future is concerned.” He nibbled my ear. “To be clear, I mean anything that may threaten your life or interfere with our relationship.”

Unfortunately, those parameters seemed to include just about everything from the past week. “Well,” I started, keeping my gaze fixed on Henry’s hand. “When Julian and I were in the garden...” The remaining words stuck like dry bread in my throat.

Henry lifted his head and gave me a piercing look. “By any chance did Julian do more than proclaim his love tonight?” he asked with deadly calm.

Drat!

“What did he do?” Henry prodded me.

“He may have done one other thing,” I said, rather vaguely. “But it’s of little consequence.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

So I feared. “You have to understand that it all happened very fast, and I don’t have the clearest memory of everything—”