A Guide to the Beasts of East Africa (22 page)

He was surprised to see so many cars at the
club. The car park was chocker, and dozens more cars were lined up all down the street.
Some of them were even decorated with ribbons, which Mr Malik thought was a nice touch –
though perhaps overdoing it a bit. Tiger Singh seemed confident that they would find
somewhere to park nearer the clubhouse, and sure enough they were in luck – there was a
space right outside the front door. Mr Malik was also surprised to see Benjamin coming
down the steps to open the car door for him, until he remembered that the Tiger had said
he'd gone on ahead. The Tiger hadn't told him that Benjamin would be wearing
a collar and tie, though. Mr Malik had never seen Benjamin in a collar and tie.

‘Benjamin, how lovely to see you. This
celebration is as much for you as for anyone, you know. If you hadn't tracked down
that lion, I'm sure none of the rest of this would have happened.'

‘Come, Mr Malik, come inside. Miss
Petula, she is waiting.'

And there, just inside the door beside the
Kima Killer – back in its rightful place and also decked with ribbons –
stood his daughter. She was wearing a crimson sari with gold threads and seemed to
have done something to her hair. But more surprises. Standing on one side of her was
Sunita, dressed in a sari almost as magnificent as Petula's. On her other side was
Angus Mbikwa, and standing beside him his mother Rose. Rose was wearing a hat. Mr Malik
hardly had time to register all this before an enormous cheer went up from the crowd
behind them.

The Tiger appeared at his side.

‘Three cheers for Malik,' he
boomed, ‘elucidator of crimes and conundrums.'

‘Three cheers for Malik,' echoed
Mr Patel, ‘king of the club safari.'

‘Three cheers for Malik,'
repeated Mr A. B. Gopez, ‘saviour of the Asadi Club.'

At the first cheer, chandeliers shook on the
ceilings; at the second, bottles rattled in the bar; at the third cheer, two cues in the
billiard room and a six-foot spider rest clattered from the rack on to the floor. Never
in the 107 years of the club was heard such vociferous jubilation.

Rose Mbikwa stepped forward.

‘Dear Mr Malik, may I too salute you?
You are a truly remarkable man.' With a fond look, she turned towards her son.
‘And now, I believe Angus has something to say.'

‘Mr Malik, my mother has told me
something of your talents and achievements. I can only echo her statement – you are a
man among men. And – if I may say so – your daughter Petula Malik is a woman among
women.' He exchanged a glance with Petula. ‘This is indeed a most happy day
– not only for the Asadi Club and all its members, but for Kenya. It is a day of triumph
and a day of
hope. Above all, it is a day of happiness.' Again
he looked towards Petula. ‘And on this special day I have a request. May I have
the great honour of asking you for your daughter's hand in marriage?'

Mr Malik stared at him, then at the radiant
face of his mother beside him – there seemed little doubt about Rose Mbikwa's
thoughts on the matter. He looked at his beautiful daughter Petula, who he loved with
all his heart. In her crimson sari, and with the emerald bindi on her forehead, she
looked just as her mother had looked when she had accepted his proposal of marriage
under the mango tree. It was some time before he could speak.

‘With my daughter's
permission,' he said, ‘you may –'

At which Petula flung her arms round
him.

‘Oh, Daddy … oh,
Daddy … oh, Daddy,' was all she could say.

Once more the room erupted into cheering –
if anything, even louder than before. Mr Malik had almost to shout to Petula to make
himself heard.

‘And when, dear daughter, were you
thinking of having the wedding?'

‘Well,' she said, taking him
aside, ‘I know how you feel about long engagements. So I said to Angus – he only
plucked up the courage to ask me yesterday, you know, I'm afraid that's why
he couldn't give the talk at the club on Thursday – I said that if he wanted to
marry me it would have to be soon.'

‘How soon?'

‘Today, actually. You know, before I
change my mind?'

‘Today? Get married today? But the
priests, the reception …?'

Rose Mbikwa appeared beside him and slipped
her arm into his.

‘I hope you don't mind, dear Mr
Malik, but I've been busy too. At rather short notice I've managed to
persuade my old friend Bishop Hodgkinson to come out of retirement and preside – he
married my husband Joshua and me.'

‘And,' said Petula, ‘Mr
Kalia will be coming from the temple.'

It had been Pundit Kalia who, more than
forty years ago, had blessed the marriage of Mr Malik and his dear wife.

Mr Malik felt a sudden panic.

‘But the food, what about the
food?'

‘Don't worry, Malik old
chap,' said Mr Patel. ‘Ally Dass has been working all night. I've just
seen the birianis – not just silver leaf this time, but gold too.'

‘And he let me try one of the samosas
– not a single pea,' said Mr Gopez.

‘But the loos, what about the
loos?'

‘I think I saw the Portaloo people
just leaving,' said Tiger Singh. ‘And I think that I can see someone else
arriving.'

Above the hubbub inside the club could be
heard the hoot of a car horn and a screech of brakes. From the red Mercedes convertible
that had pulled up beside the Tiger's Range Rover they heard a familiar voice.

‘Hey, Rose baby!' Harry Khan
leapt from the driver's seat and raced up the steps. ‘They're right
behind me.'

‘Hello, Harry. Who is right behind
you?'

‘The police?' said Mr Patel.

‘The men from the ministry?' said
Mr Gopez.

‘No – don't worry, guys. All
taken care of.'

‘Then who?' said Mr Malik.

‘The band. Rose told me you might need
some music later, right?'

Rose Mbikwa laughed.

‘Don't tell me …'

‘Sure. Like I said yesterday, Rose
baby, leave it to me. What Harry wants, Harry gets.'

A bus turned into the car park and pulled up
behind the Mercedes. Harry Khan turned to Mr Malik.

‘I bring you Milton Kapriadis and his
Safari Swingers – courtesy of Khan Enterprises. OK with you, Jack?'

And so as the Nairobi sky turns from blue
to black, as the stars come out and lanterns are lit around the lawns and rose beds of
the Asadi Club, after Petula and Angus have exchanged their vows and circled the holy
fire seven times, after the champagne has been drunk, the samosas swallowed, the
countless dishes of curry consumed and the cake cut, we find the bride and her groom on
the dance floor close in each other's arms. The band is playing the ‘Blue
Danube Waltz'. Also dancing to the music are their many relatives and friends,
while on the edge of the floor, keeping slightly apart from the others, a short brown
man is dancing with a graceful white woman. Perhaps Rose Mbikwa has been telling Mr
Malik about the orphanage she is planning to start at her home in Serengeti Gardens.
Perhaps he has offered to supply as many Jolly Man bonbons as the children will ever
need. They both look very happy.

At a table beside the dance floor Mr and Mrs
Patel are in earnest conversation with Mr A. B. Gopez and his wife. No doubt they are
discussing the significance of the small ripe mango that Benjamin had brought with him
from Mr Malik's garden that morning and presented to him at the end of his
daughter's marriage ceremony. It must have been a very special mango. Mrs Gopez
says she was certain she saw a tear in Mr Malik's eye as he took it.

Harry Khan has been getting on very well
with Sunita, radiant in her special new bridesmaid's sari from Amin and Sons. He
has been showing her a few new moves on the dance floor but now they are both sitting at
a table, chatting with Dickie Johnson and Tiger Singh and his wife. Sunita has just
finished explaining to everyone that the whole wedding was entirely her doing. Was it
not she who told Angus Mbikwa at the Hilton only three nights ago that she was sure
Petula would say yes? The Tiger has already told everyone that, after much reflection,
he has changed his mind about helping Harry Khan with his shopping mall development. On
Monday they will both be meeting the Minister of Transport – the old railway goods yard,
right in the centre of town, could be just the place they're looking for. With
them at the table are Sanjay and Bobby Bashu, looking fit and trim after their
three-week spiritual retreat down at the coast.

Now everyone is laughing. I expect Harry has
told them one of his stories about the American franchisees' wives. He may even
have admitted that it was he who hid the Kima Killer in the darkroom that night he
played billiards with Tiger Singh. He still could never resist a tease.

I hope Harry hasn't said anything about
who really won that game of billiards at the Asadi Club the night that the lion
disappeared. When the Tiger agreed to help him, Harry promised that he wouldn't.
And as for me, I never shall.

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First published 2012

Copyright © Nicholas Drayson, 2012
All
rights reserved

The moral right of the author has been
asserted

Grateful acknowledgement is made for permission
to reprint lyrics from ‘Is That All There Is'. Words and music by Jerry
Leiber and Mike Stoller. Copyright © 1966 Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC; copyright
renewed. All rights administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, 8 Music Square West,
Nashville, Tennessee, TN 37203. International copyright secured. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.

ISBN: 978-0-241-96918-2