A Hard Man to Forget (15 page)

Meredith
.

The one word tore her out of the sweet spell he’d created with
his kiss and unceremoniously plunged her back into reality.
Everything he’d managed to make her forget came rushing back,
forcing her to remember who he was, who she was, and how all of this
was so incredibly complicated.

Laura
, she wanted to tell him.
My name is Laura
. She
needed to hear it, needed to know that whoever she might have been,
what he was doing and feeling now was about her, not a woman he’d
loved three years ago and never stopped.

She didn’t say it. She simply dropped her hands.

He felt her reaction a beat later. He pulled back and peered into her
eyes. She didn’t have to say anything. He already knew.

“It’s your name, you know.”

She gave a tight shake of her head. “No, I don’t know.
I’m not sure it would matter if I did.”

With his arms around her, his hands on her, his mouth against hers,
she’d been able to forget about all the questions, all the
issues surrounding her identity. She hadn’t been kissing Simon,
her husband, or Simon, a stranger. She hadn’t been Meredith or
Laura. She’d been kissing a man who made her feel more deeply
than she could remember, and most likely, ever had before. Surely she
would remember in some instinctive way, if not the actual act, then
these feelings.

He continued to hold her close against his body. She could still feel
his pulse racing, the way hers did too.

Being so close to him was suddenly unbearable. She placed her hands
on his chest, careful not to press down too hard. The feel of his
muscles beneath her fingers was a little more than she could handle
at the moment. A gentle push led him to release her. He stepped away.

It was still too close. She could feel his touch on her. Every part
of her body hummed with it.

“It’s going to be morning in a few hours,” she
murmured. “We should get some sleep.”

“We don’t have to be out at the house until noon or so.
We can sleep in.”

“Good.”

She could have laughed. They sounded so ridiculously formal, not at
all like two people who’d been pressed up against each other
thirty seconds ago.

She looked at the bed. It would be a cozy fit for two people. Just
thinking about it sent her heart plummeting to the pit of her
stomach. Then she realized he’d turned away toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“This was the only room available. I figured I’d bunk
downstairs in the lobby.”

Laura thought about the chairs in the foyer. “Don’t be
ridiculous. You won’t get any rest down there. You need a good
night’s sleep as much as I do. It looks like you’re about
to pass out on your feet.”

His gaze flickered toward the bed. The room’s darkness made the
setting seem even more intimate. “I’m not sure that’s
a good idea.”

She suspected he was right. Still, she drew in a breath. “And
I’m not sure I want to be alone.”

His eyes bored into hers for a long moment, hard and intense. Then he
nodded tersely. “I’ll take the floor.”

“You can have most of the pillows and blankets.”

“We’ll split them.”

“All right.”

With another short nod, he turned away and stepped into the bathroom,
closing the door behind him.

Suddenly alone, Laura released a breath. He was probably right. This
might not be the best idea. They’d already proven that there
was something between them so intense that they couldn’t stop
it. She may have been the one who pushed him away. That didn’t
mean she didn’t still feel his touch on his skin, didn’t
still want his mouth on her, his arms holding her tight. She knew the
smart thing to do was to resist. What she was feeling had nothing to
do with logic. By remaining in close quarters, they were probably
tempting fate.

But the threat that lurked somewhere outside far outweighed the one
he posed by staying close. She couldn’t forget there was
someone out there who apparently wanted to kill her.

She heard him moving around in the bathroom, preparing for bed. He
hadn’t brought anything back from the house with him, so it
wouldn’t take him long. She wasn’t sure she wanted to
face him again tonight. There was already too much she had to absorb
from today. Moving quickly, she pulled the top two layers of covers
off the bed and grabbed two of the pillows, arranging them on the
floor for him. She turned off all of the lights except the small lamp
by the door and crawled into bed.

After the sensory overload of the last few minutes, she didn’t
expect to be able to fall asleep right away. But the moment her head
hit the pillow, her eyes drooped and a massive yawn pulled itself
from her throat.

Within seconds she was asleep, dreaming of him.

WHEN HE’D DELAYED as long as he could, Simon crossed over to
the bathroom door. He laid one hand on the flat wood and placed his
other on the knob, but didn’t open it. He didn’t know if
he was ready. He didn’t know if he would ever be.

Frustration surged anew inside him. All he’d done was call her
by her name and she’d reacted like he’d struck her. It
was her name. He had all the proof he needed. No one had ever
generated the response she did whenever he touched her. It felt
inconceivable that she couldn’t remember something that fierce,
something that had only grown in intensity over the years. Her name,
her life, him—maybe she could forget those things. But the
attraction was something so elemental he was sure it was ingrained in
his bones.

He took a breath and tamped down on the disappointment. There was no
use letting it get to him. She would remember eventually. They’d
only had a day.

Bracing himself, Simon flipped off the light and opened the door.
There was only one dim light on in the room. Its glow fell over the
bed, revealing her there, her back turned to him. Something about the
scene struck him as wrong. It took him a second to figure out why.
Meredith had always slept on her back. Laura slept on her side,
curled up in a protective position.

He felt a pang of regret at the sight. She looked so vulnerable. He
had no right to be mad at her, not after everything she’d been
through not only today but in the last two years. They still didn’t
know why she’d disappeared, and until they did, he couldn’t
hold her accountable. He had to remember that. She could be an
innocent victim in all of this. Watching her, huddled into a tight
ball on the bed, it was easier to believe.

He waited a moment and listened to the even rise and fall of her
breathing. She was asleep.

With a sigh, he crossed over to the front of the room. He stopped and
stared down at the space in surprise. She’d laid out the
blankets for him in a makeshift pallet. He hadn’t expected her
to go to the trouble. He was oddly touched by the gesture.

He tried to remind himself not to get sucked in. She could regain her
memory and leave again, and he’d be left behind once more. Some
things didn’t change.

Even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it was too late. He was
in too deep to get out now.

Stifling a groan, he lowered himself onto the blankets. He could have
told her he didn’t need much sleep. He hadn’t slept a
solid night for a long time.

Instead, he lay there staring up at the ceiling, listening to the
sounds of her breathing.

Wanting her more than ever.

THEY WERE BOTH UP shortly after eleven the next morning, sleeping in
later than either of them intended. From then it was a mad dash to
get ready as soon as possible to make it out to the house by noon.

Simon was dressed first. “I’m going to grab some donuts
or something for breakfast,” Simon said, sliding his shoes on.
“Any requests?”

“Anything’s fine with me.”

“I’ll be right back.”

After he was gone, Laura gave her clothes a dubious once-over,
remembering again that they belonged to Meredith, then pulled them on
with a sigh.

Simon still wasn’t back when she was ready. With nothing left
to do but wait, she took a seat at the desk. Her gaze fell upon the
phone sitting on the desktop. She immediately thought back to her
aborted attempt to call Jason yesterday. There was no telling what
he’d made of her abrupt message. She found herself reaching for
the receiver without even thinking, the need to talk to him so great.
After everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, she
needed an impartial opinion from a friend more than ever. Lord knew
she’d heard enough opinions from complete strangers.

She gave a nervous glance at the door as she dialed. There was no
reason to feel uneasy. She and Simon had come far enough that he
probably wouldn’t begrudge her the call now. At the very least,
it wasn’t like he could stop her. She still found herself he
wouldn’t make it back until after she finished the call.

All her worry was for nothing. The line rang four times, then Jason’s
machine picked up. It was just her luck to miss him again. When the
beep prompted her to leave her message, she found she didn’t
have anything to say. There was no way she could summarize the last
day and everything she was feeling in a twenty-second message. She
finally hung up without saying anything.

She’d barely replaced the receiver when the door opened again.
She nearly jumped.

Simon stepped into the bedroom and waved a paper bag. “We’re
all set. You ready?”

She managed a smile. “You bet.”

He gave no indication he thought she was acting strangely. Laura
pushed herself to her feet and followed him to the door, not sure why
she felt guilty for no good reason.

THE RAIN HAD ENDED sometime during the night, leaving the streets wet
and moisture dripping from the awnings on the buildings that lined
the street. Heavy gray clouds lingered in the sky. Everything seemed
drab and cheerless. Laura was starting to wonder if it wasn’t
just the house, but the whole area that was perpetually gloomy.

She tried to get a better sense of the town in the daylight as they
made their way down the block to where Simon had parked. It seemed
quaint enough, a typical small town. Like everything else she’d
encountered in the last two days, it did not seem familiar.

They’d only gone a few feet from the inn when Laura slowly
became aware of the sensation of being watched. She turned her
attention away from the buildings and toward the people on the
sidewalks. They were being subtle about it, but there was no doubt
that several of them were looking at her and Simon. Most of them
glanced away when she caught their eye. A couple gawked openly, but
few seemed to want to sustain eye contact. The feeling was unnerving.
She’d never felt more like a criminal in her life.

By the time they reached the car, Laura climbed in with a sigh of
relief. “People are staring.”

“It’s not everyday they see a dead woman,” Simon
said mildly.

“I’m not dead.”

He started the vehicle. “But to them, Meredith has been. To see
her, or someone who looks so much like her, walking around the
streets of Rockwell has to be disconcerting.”

“Is that how you felt the first time you saw me in
Harrisville?”

“I was shocked at first.”

“And then?”

He kept his eyes in the rearview mirror, his mouth tightening
slightly. She couldn’t tell if he was concentrating on backing
out of the parking space or avoiding the question. “I was
angry.”

She shouldn’t have pushed the issue. She remembered his anger
all too well. “Do you think they will be, if I turn out to be
her?”

“Probably not. You—
Meredith
"—he amended
off her look—"was well-liked here. She had a lot of
friends. They’d probably forgive her. Most of them would
understand why she did it.”

“Why she did what?”

“Why you had to get away from me.”

She ignored the pronoun he used, more interested in a different
question. “Why is that?”

Simon pulled out onto the road, turning back in the direction of the
house. “Because I made her unhappy. You saw the pictures. She
used to be a far different woman when I met her than when she died.”

“That’s not all your fault.”

“You won’t find many who’ll agree with you on
that.”

“I can’t believe everyone in this town feels that way.”

He shrugged. “I’ve never been the most popular person in
town. I never tried to make friends. I never joined in any community
events or got to know my neighbors. I just wanted to be left alone.
Whenever people encounter a point of view they don’t
understand, they turn on it. I didn’t try to play nice, so they
turned on me. It’s human nature.”

“Aren’t you a little young to be so jaded?”

“You don’t need years to see people for what they are,
only experience.”

She shook her head. “Based on how everyone has described her,
I’m having a harder and harder time understanding what brought
the two of you together.”

“You’re right. On the surface it didn’t make any
sense. We didn’t have much in common. Our personalities were
completely different. No two people could have been less alike.”

“What was it then?”

He didn’t respond right away. He stared at the road ahead so
blankly she doubted he was actually seeing it. “I loved her,”
he said softly. “That was all that mattered. It didn’t
have to make sense.”

A few days ago Laura might not have known what he meant. Now all she
had to do was think back to last night, to that feeling that defied
all common sense. Was that love? It was insane to think so. She’d
known him for less than two days. But whatever it was, it was real
and it was powerful, even it didn’t make any sense.

She spoke without thinking. “And now?”

For a moment, his hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his
knuckles went white. “And now I’ve hated her for so long
I can barely remember ever caring about her.”