A HAZARD OF HEARTS (53 page)

The minister finished, the wet earth thudded on
the coffin. Elly waited until people began to move off, whispering her last
goodbye before she returned to the others waiting at the carriages. Only the
chief mourners were to go from the burial ground to Paul’s rooms in Balmain,
yet Elly couldn’t face even such a small gathering. She wanted to keep her
decision to herself a little longer. Nor did she want to face Paul just yet. He
had been too shocked to notice how much she grieved for him. Having done her
best to reach through the protective wall he had erected, as always, around his
feelings, she finally left him to J.G., convinced by Paul’s attitude that he
did not need her.

Now huddled in the corner of the carriage with
muddied skirts clinging to her icy ankles, she longed only to be back in her
own room, with a hot cup of tea and time to herself. Instead, she heard Paul’s
voice as he opened the carriage door, politely requesting Jo-Beth and Pearl,
sitting opposite, to allow him to accompany Elly privately on the drive back.

She said quickly, ‘I’m not coming, Paul. Please excuse
me. I’m needed back at the hospital. There’s so much to do before I leave.’

His haggard face was unrevealing, but he said
quietly, ‘We need to talk, Elly. There’s been no chance since... Ladies, do you
mind? J.G. and Captain Petherbridge will escort you in the carriage behind.’

Jo-Beth and Pearl exchanged glances then rose,
allowing Paul to help them down. Abandoning me, Elly thought drearily, turning
her face to the streaming window. She felt Paul’s weight on the seat as he
closed the door against the weather and took off his wet hat.

‘Elly,’ he began.

She kept her face averted. ‘What is there to
talk about? You can’t possibly blame me more than I blame myself. I know I’m
not the only one who let Lucy down. We all did. Yet I can’t forget that this
could all have been avoided if I had only taken more care.’

‘I don’t want to talk about blame, although the
Lord knows I’ve enough on my shoulders to sink a battleship. However, I do want
to talk about you. You’ve got to stop this, Elly. You’re letting go.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Look at me, my dear.’

She faced him angrily. ‘Don’t lecture me. I don’t
need that from you. I don’t need anything from anyone. Just let me be in peace.’

‘Peace! Since when did the word have any meaning
for you, Elly Ballard? Was it peace you wanted when you faced the people who
turned you out into the bush to die? Was it peace that forced your way into the
hospital and led you to take on the Board of Directors? Was it peace that
changed a filthy, vermin-ridden hole into a place of safety for the sick? You
can have peace when you’re fast in your rocking chair; in the meantime you’ll
remember you’re a fighter, my girl, which means no quarter.’

She flushed. ‘You can’t bully me, Paul. There’s
no fight left in me. I’ve got to admit defeat when I’m dismissed. Now Lucy’s
death is the last blow. I’m too angry and frustrated and too dispirited to go
on.’

‘Oh, no you’re not.’ He took her by the
shoulders and gave her a little shake. The carriage lurched forward as the
horses were whipped up, and she fell against him, her cheek landing on his wet
lapel. He held her there, with the smell of damp wool in her nostrils, his chin
edging her bonnet aside. His voice was warm near her ear. ‘You’re not alone, my
dear. We’re all in this battle with you. Also, it may surprise you to hear that
our wake for poor little Lucy will be more a meeting of her avengers –
something which I feel she would approve, if she knew.’

Tremendously comforted by her awkward position,
hard up against him, her body twisted sideways, half stifled in his coat, Elly
paid little attention.

‘You’re not listening.’ He held her away from
him. ‘Look, we won’t let you lose everything you’ve worked for, nor will we
have Lucy go unavenged. But you must help us. We can’t do it without you.’

She blinked and gave him her attention. ‘I don’t
understand. What could we do against the power of the Board? How can you
possibly reach Cornwallis to pull him down?’

‘That’s what we’ll discuss this afternoon over
sherry and biscuits. What should have been a sad, decorous farewell to my
little cousin will be a council of war directed against your oppressors and
specifically against Cornwallis. It’s time we removed the gloves with that
gentleman.’ His voice hardened, his grip on Elly’s shoulders tightening until
she repressed a gasp. ‘You remember me raving on at you once about my father’
death? You might even have guessed Cornwallis was responsible.’

‘I did wonder. I’m so sorry, Paul. The scales
are heavily weighted against that evil man.’ His sombre expression saddened
her.

‘So, will you help, Elly?’

‘Of course I will.’ Already her crushed spirits
had begun to lift with the prospect of something to be done. Even better, Paul
had not said one word of reproach to her over Lucy. And without doubt, the
prospect of evening the score with Cornwallis was just the thing to kindle the
fighting flame once again. He shouldn’t be allowed to continue his progress of
destruction through other people’s lives. ‘You must have thought me spineless,
Paul. I’d been hit so many times I felt flattened. It’s just taken me a while
to get my breath back.’

He let her go and watched her straighten her
bonnet. ‘Elly, you are about as spineless as Pepper, who killed his sixth snake
last week.’

‘Ah, well, I don’t presume to be in Pepper’s
class.’ She met his smile, and for a brief moment forgot the sadness lying over
them all.

They were greeted by a blazing fire in Paul’s
rooms, with J.G. dispensing sherry in fine Irish crystal glasses, Paul’s
wedding gift to Pearl. Paul raised an eyebrow as he silently helped Elly out of
her wet pelisse. J.G. gave her a glass of glowing honey-gold nectar which
warmed her after the first sip. She knew Jo-Beth had provided the sweet
biscuits to go with the wine and had seen Ethan Petherbridge clutching a bunch
of winter iris which now adorned the mantel shelf. I provided nothing, she
thought, except a self-centred whine about my own misery. It’s time I took a
grip on myself.

Paul raised his glass to the company. ‘I’d like
to toast the memory of Lucy, who will never be forgotten by us.’

‘A blithesome lass, a minx, yet an engaging one,’
added J.G.

‘A woman,’ Pearl corrected him, ‘whose flowering
was cut off too soon. May her spirit wander in pleasant paths.’

They drank the toast solemnly.

While J.G. refilled the glasses Jo-Beth
whispered to Elly, ‘Do you suppose her spirit has been united with her dead
parents’?’

‘I shouldn’t be surprised. Although if you’re
talking about Heaven, it’s hard to fathom a God who would let this happen to an
innocent girl. My father always said He had been invented by people needing a
crutch or a whipping boy.’

Jo-Beth shook her head. ‘Why reproach Him for
our own choices, or for the evil in our hearts?’

She had been overheard. J.G’s voice rose to fill
the room. ‘We all know whom to blame, and we’ll get him, never fear. The curse
of the crows on you, Cornwallis. May you be a load for four before the year’s
out!’

‘I’ll drink to that.’ Ethan Petherbridge downed
his sherry with a scowl. ‘I’ve seen some cruel sights in my travels and heard
tales to curdle the blood, but nothing has moved me as much as this sad series
of events. I’m with you, however fiendish your plot for revenge.’

Jo-Beth sent him a glance of pride and approval.
Elly knew she was grateful for his easy acceptance into their close circle.

They had watched Alan McAndrews’ sad withdrawal
with sympathy. Elly knew Jo-Beth had suffered for him, her deep happiness with Ethan
overshadowed by the necessary cruelty of dismissing a man who loved her and wished
her well to the last.

But now Elly saw Paul watching the happy pair,
saw his expression as he hastily turned aside. He was thinking that Lucy had no
chance of such joy, and suffering for her. Hadn’t he borne enough? She put down
her glass and said, ‘Well, J.G., what are we going to do about it? That’s why
we’re here, isn’t it, to plan how to bring down Cornwallis?’

His lips twisted. ‘We’ve already begun.’

They gathered around him while he held the
floor. ‘Paul and I have discussed the best way to go about this, and we’ve
agreed the only sure method is to attack the black hound’s reputation, to
expose him before his peers. He’d rather kill himself than lose his position in
society.’

Paul joined in. ‘He’s the son of a British peer,
feted and admired, too clever by half in business, monied, spoilt, toadied. He’s
begun to believe he’s invincible. So we’ll prove him wrong.’

‘How have you begun?’ Elly asked.

‘We’ve inserted a death notice in all the Sydney
journals, a large, eye-catching black-bordered affair, which hints at some
mystery attached to Lucy’s demise. We didn’t hesitate. Knowing Lucy as you did,
do you think for a moment she wouldn’t want to join us in the hunt?’

She nodded. ‘It seems dreadful, but you’re
right. Lucy would cheer you on. And you believe this will worry Cornwallis?’

‘Oh, I think so. He meant to punish me by
ruining my cousin. He didn’t mean to kill her. The Honourable D’Arcy will be
carrying pistols and starting at shadows, wondering whether I’ve come for him.’
His voice was iron. ‘But I’ve realised he’s not worth hanging for. My revenge
will be deeper and more painful than a quick death.’

‘You’ve waited a long time haven’t you?’ It
saddened Elly to think how long. It had festered in his mind from the age of
fourteen, colouring and distorting his development until it had grown into part
of him. When he finally achieved catharsis, would it leave him emotionally exhausted,
unable to lead a normal life?

Ethan looked interested. ‘Why? What else lies
between you and Cornwallis, Gascoigne?’

To Elly’s surprise Paul gave him a full answer. ‘He
has attacked Elly and caused me to be beaten by thugs who might have killed me.
His family ruined mine, and he had my father tortured to death. Then there’s
Lucy. I’d say there’s quite a debt between us, wouldn’t you?’

‘I wonder what the Master Lao Tzu would say
about such a debt?’ Pearl was thoughtful.

Everyone except J.G. seemed bewildered. He
patted his wife’s hand. ‘My love, he would say regrets are vain, they stifle
the present, and the balanced soul would not harbour revenge. But we’re out to
stop evil. Cornwallis has left a trail of damaged lives, of actual deaths and,
worse, minds which will never heal. Like a vampire, he feeds off the fear and
misery of others.’

‘Surely you exaggerate, J.G.’

Seeing her anxious expression, he added, ‘Paul
knows I don’t. He’s heard the tales circulating in the taverns, the faint odour
which persists around Cornwallis yet is never openly discussed.’

Both Pearl and Jo-Beth raised doubtful eyebrows.
Elly could read their thoughts: male exaggeration, gossip, the desire to be ‘in-the-know’
and up with the latest salacious tale to circulate amongst the boys.

‘They’re right,’ she said, and told them about
the hanging in the Darlinghurst Gaol. ‘I know anyone who wishes may be a
witness to an execution, horrible thought. But to deliberately savour the
victim’s terror, to want to pull the knot tight in person, is simply abhorrent.’

Jo-Beth exclaimed, ‘My God, he’s a monster. Let’s
get on with this plan, whatever it is.’

J.G. continued to expound. ‘We’ve begun a
campaign to undermine confidence in him, just hints in the market place, conversations
meant to be overheard in the clubs, and so on. We’re also conducting a thorough
search into his background, to dig up anything at all reprehensible which we
can publish.

‘Henry Parkes has agreed,’ Paul added. ‘He’s
with us in this, particularly as there’s a political angle. Cornwallis hopes to
be appointed to the Legislative Council at the next elections. There’s another
thing. He’s a powerful member of the Hospital Board of Directors and directly responsible
for the action against Elly. If we discredit him it will go some way towards
upholding her credibility.’

Elly smiled wanly. ‘Thank you, Paul. But it won’t
be sufficient to have me reinstated.’

‘You’ll do that yourself, Elly. You haven’t
examined this clearly. As a private citizen, no longer the Matron, you will be
able to go to the public, approach influential members – I’ll get you the
entree if you’re refused – send letters to women active in charities in the
colony seeking their support in your fight to improve the hospital. They have
influence by virtue of their husbands’ position and wealth, which they use in
support of worthy causes. And what better cause than the health of other women
and children? Then you can mount your soapbox in the Domain to make public
speeches.’

She said faintly, ‘What?’

‘I like it.’ Jo-Beth nodded. ‘Now you’re no
longer bound by loyalty to your employers you can say what you like, expose
what you like. I’ll help you write the letters and speeches.’

Elly felt the walls closing in on her. ‘I couldn’t
do it.’

‘Of course you can. We’ll all support you.’