A Hero's Heart (25 page)

Deep in his heart, he knew he should tell her they were never meant to be. But the words wouldn’t come. A tug of war raged inside Wade. He wanted her for himself. He needed her tonight more than she needed him.

He bent, drawing her to him as his lips sought hers in a thirsting quest.

Like an accomplished seductress, Rachel kissed him back, wrapping her hands through his hair, pulling his lips closer to her own. Their mouths merged into a growing frenzy.

Rachel put a hand between them and pushed away. Her breasts rose and fell with the raggedness of her breathing. “Make love to me, Wade.” Her voice deep and husky. “Take me in your arms and help me forget the terrible events of the last few days.

His lips crushed hers in a desperate effort to silence the voice inside his mind that insisted he could never marry her. He feared this would be his last time in her arms, the last time before they were torn apart.

He wanted only to think about the pleasure he received in Rachel’s embrace. He wanted every moment possible with her before she kicked him out of her bed and her life forever.

She pushed away from him, and he was certain she meant to stop their lovemaking. Instead, she reached down and turned off the lamp, enshrouding them in darkness. His lips claimed hers once again, while his hands sought her breasts.

The rough cotton against his hand sent his fingers to the buttons at the back of her dress. His lips never left hers as he unfastened the buttons, while she hastily did the same for him. His hands were steady, concealing the feverish tide racing through his body. Calmly he eased her dress down over her shoulders and breasts, abandoning it around her waist.

Slipping the shirt down his back, she ran her fingers along his naked skin, sending shivers of delight rippling through his body. Craving her touch, he could not deny that need any more than he could refuse his need for water.

The strings of her chemise beckoned him, the bow promising a gift-wrapped delight. He tugged on the drawstrings, untying the bow and pulling open the cloth, until her firm breasts lay exposed to his sight. The temptation to pluck each nipple gently with his lips was not to be resisted. Bending his head, he tasted the tender orb, rolling it around on his tongue. Rachel arched her back in heated response, and he pushed the chemise to her waist.

He lifted her from his lap and laid her down on the blankets, pulling the dress and chemise down her sleek hips and legs. Only her petticoat remained, and he quickly dismissed the garment along with the others. Spread upon the pallet, she gazed up at him, her eyes dilated with heated passion.

Quickly, he shucked his pants and boots, and joined her on their makeshift bed. Naked, flesh to flesh, they lay side by side, enjoying the touch of their bodies. She was smooth, he was rough. She was soft, he was hard. She was silk, he was stone.

Her fingers traced down his spine to his buttocks and then pulled him closer to her. With feather light kisses, she touched his eyes, his nose, his lips and whispered, “Do what you did before. Chase away my fears, make me feel that tonight will never end.”

The words stung him like a barbed arrow. “Tonight will always be with us,” he whispered against her silky hair.

He moved down her throat, his lips trailing soft kisses and raising goose bumps on a path to her nipples. He swirled his tongue around each rising point, nipping them with his teeth. She tasted like honey, moist and sweet.

Her hands explored his naked thighs until she reached his manhood. Wrapping her fingers around him, she gently stroked.

Disbelief held Wade still; then he encouraged her by moving her hand up and down in a satisfying motion. All concentration fled as he reveled in her loving attention. Gradually, he regained control enough to return the similar satisfaction and placed his hands between Rachel’s thighs.

Finding the nub between her legs, teased her until her moans filled the wagon. Honey flowed over his fingers like sweet nectar as she writhed against him.

He kissed her mouth deeply, with the promise of sweet passion to come. Clutching his hips, she tried to pull him to her, but Wade resisted the quick satisfaction she sought.

Rolling over onto his back, he pulled her along with him until she perched astride him. Grasping her hips, he raised her over his rigid manhood, groaning as she took him inside. She answered his thrusts, meeting his upward motion, riding him with eager need.

He was lost. The past was forgotten, the future suspended. Nothing mattered but the pleasure this woman demanded and delivered with each stroke.

Rachel consumed him. The smell of her, the taste of her, overpowered him, filling his lungs with her very breath of life until he wanted this moment to be suspended forever.

Wade felt more alive than he had in all his twenty-nine years. She was heaven, she was earth and she absorbed him with a passion he had never experienced before.

While he wanted to hold back forever, to suspend this moment as long as possible, his body overcame him, sending him crashing into a stunning climax. A Rush of tenderness flowed over Wade as he clutched Rachel to him. For a moment, they lay quietly, waiting for their breathing to return to normal.

What had living been like before he’d found Rachel? Somehow it seemed she had always been in his life. She was as much a part of his yesterdays as she was of his tomorrows.

But the realty was, she was never meant to be a part of his tomorrows.

Chapter Fifteen

“R
achel, are you awake?” Mary called.

Rachel turned over, her hand bumping into a wall of steel, male flesh, and muscle. Sunlight peeked through the pucker strings of the drawn canvas at the end of the wagon.

“Yes, Mary, I am.”

Opening fully, her eyes collided with the emerald green of Wade’s. The heat from his gaze made her sizzle with the memories of their lovemaking the night before.

But Mary’s voice brought the vivid recollection of Becky and Ethan’s betrayal and of their threat to tell everyone the truth regarding her and Wade’s marriage.

Mary spoke rapidly. “I hate to bother you, Rachel, but Toby is sick and Grace says she isn’t feeling well either.”

Sitting up, Rachel wrapped the blanket around her. She crawled to the opening and stuck her head out the drawn canvas.

“What’s wrong with Toby?” Concern smote Rachel along with the cool morning air. “That boy never gets sick.”

Mary stood outside the tent, holding Daniel, her face drawn and tight. She appeared to have aged twenty years since the night before.

“His head hurts, and he feels warm to the touch. He didn’t want to bother you since you weren’t up yet.”

The sun peeked over the eastern horizon, and Rachel realized it must be after six. The long night of lovemaking had led her to oversleep in Wade’s arms.

Rachel scanned the still camp. “Where’s Grace?”

“In the tent. She has the same symptoms.” Mary frowned and shifted Daniel to the other arm. “At first, I thought they were playing ill, but they’re not. Something’s wrong.”

“I’ll be right out, Mary. In the meantime, maybe you should keep Daniel away from them.” She searched for her underclothes in the strewn garments that lay about, discarded.

Shifting through the mess, she turned to find Wade pulling on his pants. “What’s wrong with the children?”

“I don’t know. But Mary seems concerned.” Rachel found her chemise half-hidden under Wade’s shirt. Feeling self-conscious, she pulled the garment on.

A frown creased Wade’s forehead as he slipped on his shirt. “About ten days ago we passed a wagon that had a case of measles. You don’t remember them getting near it, do you?”

“I don’t think so.” A splinter of fear threaded its way down Rachel’s spine.

Pulling on his boots, he grimaced. “Let’s hope its nothing.”

She turned her back and slipped on the black cotton mourning gown she had worn almost every day for the last two months.

As she turned around, she noticed Wade sitting on the chest, completely dressed, staring at the pallet where they had spent the night exploring each other’s bodies.

He looked up at her and cleared his throat. “I’ll check on Toby and Grace before I get too busy today. Frank wants me to ride point, so I don’t know when I’ll be in again.”

With a sinking feeling, Rachel realized that while Becky and Ethan did their dirty gossiping, he would be out blazing the trail, oblivious to all the hurtful comments. She would be the sole target of whispers and snubs.

She stood up, locking eyes with Wade. “So I’ll be left to deal with all the questions about our marriage.

“Of course not. But Frank asked me last night to ride point, and I agreed.” Wade grabbed his hat and pushed it down on his head. “Don’t worry about Ethan and Becky. We’ll talk to Frank tonight.”

Leaning down he gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you later.”

Briskly, he retreated. Did all men run this hot and cold, or was it just Wade? One moment, he was her passionate lover, leading her to expect his declaration of love, and the next he was withdrawn, with no show of feelings for her.

Last night, he’d spoken no promise of marriage, no whispers of love. In fact, when she’d said he was the only man she cared for, he had said nothing. But, last night, she’d believed his physical response proved his unspoken love.

This morning she wasn’t so sure.

Climbing out of the wagon, she held her skirts up to keep from falling. Mary and Wade stood by the tent, whispering.

Joining them, she asked, “Are Grace and Toby okay?”

Mary’s eyes were swollen, her nose was red as if she’d been crying. “I don’t think so.” She held a handkerchief up to her eyes and dabbed at them. “I have something to tell the two of you.” Her bottom lip quivered. “Ethan, is gone along with my horse, Nellie. And I haven’t seen Becky this morning, either.”

Rachel opened the tent and peeked inside to see Grace and Toby lying on their pallets, resting. They looked up at her, their eyes dull with pain.

The tent was now without all of Becky’s belongings.

“Her bedroll is missing, and her trunk is open and empty,” Rachel called out behind her before going in to check on the children. She couldn’t help but feel if the two were gone, their disappearance would be a blessing.

But before she could think about Becky, she had to check on the children. “What’s wrong, Toby,” she asked.

“I ache all over and my head hurts,” the boy said.

Rachel put the back of her hand to the child’s forehead. The boy was hot, his cheeks flushed. “I think you should rest in the back of the wagon today.”

“Oh, Rachel. I’ll feel better in a few minutes. I want to go riding with Wade.”

“If you feel better this afternoon, you can walk. But this morning, I want you riding inside the wagon,” Rachel said. She reached over, touching the back of her hand to Grace’s forehead, and found the same symptoms.

“Grace, the same goes for you.”

The child lay listless upon her bedroll. “All right.”

Her easy acquiescence alarmed Rachel. Grace wasn’t feeling well if she didn’t argue about being confined.

Exiting the tent, Rachel found Wade pacing anxiously. “How are the kids?”

“Mary’s right. They’re running a fever. I’ll keep them in the wagon today.”

Wade frowned and shook his head. “I better go check and make sure we still have horses.”

He hurried off toward the animals. She still felt irritated at Wade’s response. Though he played the perfect husband to everyone else, she wanted to hear him voice his true feelings. She needed to hear him say he loved her.

Rachel held out her arms for Daniel, who eagerly went to her. “I have to tell you I’m ashamed of my sister.”

“It’s not your fault. And the blame isn’t entirely Becky’s. Ethan made his choice.” A single tear marked Mary’s cheek.

“Oh, Mary. What can I do to help you?” Rachel felt helpless as she watched Mary’s tears increase.

“Don’t let this come between us. Continue to be my friend,” she whispered in a broken voice. “Right now, you’re all I have.”

How could life be so unfair? Mary deserved to be happy, she deserved a good husband and children. Ethan wasn’t worthy of the love of a good woman like her.

But Mary was strong. She would get over Ethan’s deception. Though the future appeared bleak now, one day she could still find happiness.

Rachel hugged her friend with her free arm.

“You’re more like a sister than Becky has ever been. I’ll always be here for you.”

Mary’s shoulders shook with sobs.

When her tears had subsided, Rachel asked, “You still want to go to The Dalles?”

As she stepped back, a small smile emerged on Mary’s face. She gave a queer laugh. “I can go anywhere I please now, can’t I.”

“You can do whatever you want,” Rachel replied.

Mary drew her shoulders back, her face resolute. “I’ll reach Oregon without Ethan.”

* * *

The last three days, Rachel had watched the children grow continually worse as she and Mary battled against their high fevers, runny noses and coughs. If this was war, they were slowly losing the battle.