A Hole in the World (5 page)

‘But, your clothes! So strange for a Princess such as yourself to be adorned in such masculine attire!’ The girl gestures down at Bianca’s pyjamas; a dark blue, short sleeved shirt thrown over the top of long, black pyjama trousers. With trainers.
Classy
.

‘I’m not a Princess! They’re
pyjamas
,’ Bianca says, with a glare. ‘To sleep in?’

‘Py-jamas?’ the girl says, carefully.

‘Oh, Jesus Christ,’ Bianca says, the palm not attached to the girl’s wrist finding its way to her own forehead.  ‘We really shouldn’t be discussing this
now
...’

‘Why not?’ the girl asks, shuffling nervously closer to her saviour.

‘Because I’m busy having a nervous breakdown and should be on my way to a-’ Bianca breaks off, eyes widening as her eyes land on the doorway in the far wall of the chamber. Just inside it is the shadow of a guard fast approaching and, if Bianca is right, carrying a large hammer in his hands. ‘
And
because any second now, we’re both going to be dead!’ She gestures towards the shadow.

‘Barka!’ the girl exclaims. ‘He is the one who captured me and locked me up in this godforsaken place at the Enchantress’ behest! If he finds me to have escaped, he will punish us both for sure!’

‘In that case, come on.’ Bianca tightens her grip on the girl’s wrist. ‘We need to go before he catches us.’

‘Oh, you are for sure my Prince Charming!’ the girl exclaims, in Bianca’s opinion only one step short of
dancing with glee
.

‘I am
no one’s
Prince Charming,’ Bianca snaps. ‘My name is Bianca Western and, for one thing, I’m
female
. Now, come on!’ She pulls on the girl’s wrist and drags her towards the corridor she entered from, just as the owner of the shadow steps into the light of the cavern.

Barka, Bianca discovers, as she looks back, is eight foot tall. But that’s not the horrific part. The horrific part is what he is.

‘Oh, my god!’ Bianca hisses. ‘He’s a
troll
!’

‘Barka!’ the girl exclaims, as though she’d told her that. ‘Barka!’

‘You didn’t think to mention he was a
troll
?’ Bianca demands, in a suspiciously high voice.

‘Barka!’ the girl repeats.

Bianca gives up and, instead of tackling the Barka/troll issue some more, she tugs on the girl’s wrist and the two of them break off at a run, through the doorway and down the passageway beyond. Bianca suspects it takes the troll a moment to realise what they’re doing and then, with an angry shout of rage that causes the whole cavern to rumble, he runs after them.

‘Run, run,
run
!’ Bianca squeaks, as they emerge into the junction room and almost stumble. They’re through the doorway before she thinks about it and turns around, skidding back to grab her coat.

‘Come
on
!’ the girl exclaims from the first cavern, sounding panicked.

Bianca runs back and past the girl, who follows behind her, skirts gathered up in her hands.

They stop at the opening and Bianca turns back to the girl, who has released her skirt and is looking confused. Instead of stopping to explain, Bianca just grabs her hand, moves a few steps back and takes a flying leap through the hole, dragging the squealing girl along behind her.

*

They fall out of the hole together and Bianca, braced for the fall from the wall, releases the girl’s hand and hits the ground at a roll, landing on her coat. The girl, meanwhile, drops to the pavement with an ungainly
thump
and a crack of her shoulder hitting the ground.

‘Are you okay?’ Bianca asks, immediately rushing over to her, pulling her coat onto her arms to keep from having to carry it.

‘I hurt.’ The girl’s dress is torn in a couple of places from the jagged rock and the shoulder strap has broken in two. There’s a bruise developing on her shoulder and she touches it, gingerly, as she says, ‘Mm... It hurts,’ as though it’s an entirely new experience.

Bianca has a horrible feeling it is.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says, as apologetically as she is able having just
saved her from a troll
. She offers the girl a hand and helps her to her feet, noticing, idly, that the hat didn’t even
move
when she fell. ‘I should have warned you that there would be a drop.’ She eyes the girl, who seems lost and out of place, and pushes the trailing silk of her hat’s train from her face when the wind catches it. The girl looks suspiciously like she’s about to go on about
princes
again, so Bianca turns away and looks around.

‘It’s morning,’ she says, in surprise. ‘But... I’m sure I wasn’t gone that long.’ Deciding to just add that to the list of weird things that happened to her today, she turns to the girl, who is gazing at her, and says, ‘Do you even have a name?’ She prays to whatever deity will listen that the girl doesn’t say no.

‘Alexandra,’ the girl says, with an unbelievably radiant smile spreading across her face. ‘I am Princess Alexandra of Calpaea.’

‘What.’ Bianca stares at her long and hard for a long moment. ‘Seriously?’ she says, reconsidering a repeat of ‘What.’ ‘You’re... a
princess
?’

‘Yes.’ Alexandra gives her another beaming smile, which is awfully infectious. Bianca finds herself fighting not to smile back until Alexandra says, ‘And
you
are my Prince Charming!’

‘No. No.
No
, I am
not
.’ Bianca glares at her, but even that is met with a smile. ‘I’m just a helpful citizen who did the
completely
crazy thing of saving you!’ She smacks the princess on the unharmed shoulder and turns away, stalking across the street towards her home.

‘Await me, my prince!’ Alexandra shouts, running towards her, dress gathered up in her hands, heels clicking against the tarmac. ‘You must bring me to your kingdom for our wedding!’

Bianca suspects if she was in a cartoon there would be the sound of screeching tires, she stops and turns around to stare at the girl. ‘I’m not your prince. I don’t even
have
a kingdom! I don’t even have a bank account yet!’ she exclaims. ‘And, oh,
god
...’ She stares at Alexandra. ‘You stick out like a sore thumb in that dress.’

‘Like a what?’ Alexandra asks, innocently, which lends credence to the notion that she’s never felt pain before.

‘Sore thumb... Sticking out? Oh. Never even mind...’ Bianca sighs and turns away again, crossing the next road towards her house and wondering, silently, as she heads down the next street and crosses the second road, why it’s
her
that gets sent to boarding school and
her
who gets framed for arson and
her
who
rescues a fairy-tale princess
.

She comes to the conclusion it’s just her dumb luck.

‘Bianca!’ comes Alexandra’s squeak from behind her and Bianca is suddenly aware that the blonde is
following her
. She turns around in time to see her walk, blindly, across the road and almost get hit by an incoming Range Rover, which swerves to avoid her at the last moment. As Alexandra stops just before the kerb on the other side, the driver pokes his head out of the window, shaking his fist and bellowing obscenities the princess doesn’t even seem to
comprehend
, let alone know how to react to.

‘Alexandra!’ She runs over, grabs the girl by the arm and pulls her onto the footpath with one hard tug. The poufy sleeve rips, joining the strap. Bianca barely even notices and certainly doesn’t apologise. She’s too busy yelling, ‘You don’t stand in the middle of the road! You just
don’t
!’

‘Road?’ Alexandra seems innocently confused, so Bianca’s anger ebbs slightly. 

‘This bit here!’ Bianca gestures up and down the street. ‘With the speeding cars and trucks that will
kill
you
stone
dead
!’ She flails in the other girl’s face for a moment, then manhandles the blonde to walk in front of her, instead of letting her trail behind her like before and undoubtedly get herself killed. ‘Right. I guess you’re coming to my house. Come on.’ She gives her a shove and follows her to her front door. ‘My parents’ll be up soon,’ she says. ‘But, for now, they’re still in bed, so you need to be completely silent, okay?’

‘I can do that!’ Alexandra says, horrifically loudly.

‘No.’ Bianca puts a finger over her lips and presses down. ‘
Totally
silent. No noise. Barely even breathe. Okay?’

Another nod and Bianca groans. This is going to go horribly wrong. She carefully inserts her key into the lock and turns, then she pushes open the door and beckons Alexandra into the house.

They step quietly into the hall and Bianca takes Alexandra’s wrist again, pulling her, gently, towards the stairs.  Every footstep ruffles with the sound of the hideous pink dress, and the lampshade wobbles, dangerously, when the hat collides with it.

‘Quietly, now,’ Bianca warns. They ascend the stairs, Bianca’s heart in her throat as she carefully avoids the creaky floorboards, and quietly navigate the landing until they reach Bianca’s bedroom door, which she pushes open. She silently ushers the girl inside and once the door is closed behind them, she flicks on the light.

‘Ahh!’ Alexandra exclaims, surprised and pleased by the sudden illumination. ‘
Magic
!’

‘Electricity,’ Bianca corrects, shrugging off her coat and retrieving her phone from her pocket, quickly checking the screen for messages. ‘Not magic.’ No messages, she drops the phone on the bed almost petulantly and sits down on the end, watching Alexandra as she examines the room.

‘It appears like magic to I!’ Alexandra exclaims. She navigates the room, examining the posters and the things on Bianca’s dressing table. Unfortunately, the dress keeps catching things and pulling them off shelves, causing Bianca to dive after and catch them as Alexandra explores.

‘Can we get you out of that dress, please?’ Bianca says, with a groan. ‘At least for now, so you don’t look like something out of a Disney film?’

‘Out of my dress?’ Alexandra questions, gathering the skirts up almost like a defensive shield. ‘You wish to remove me from my frock? It was designed for me by the Royal Seamstress herself!’

‘Just for now.’ Bianca gives her a pleading look. ‘You’re gonna have to come to school with me until we can figure out what to do with you or your parents come to fetch you... and if you don’t change your clothes you’ll not only be laughed at, but you’ll also be sent to the headmaster’s office. And then they’ll realise you’re not supposed to be there. If we’re lucky, you can just blend in with one of my uniforms.’ She eyes Alexandra for a moment. ‘You look
around
my size.’

If ‘
around’
is two sizes smaller and
skinny as hell
. She’ll just have to wear a belt, Bianca decides.

And roll the sleeves up.

If they’re lucky, Bianca’s shoes will fit her, at least.

‘Uniforms?’ Alexandra questions.

‘Look, just... change. Okay?’ Bianca sighs as she reaches for her school shirts, selecting the one that’s always been a little too small and laying it out on the bed. ‘I’ll...’ She turns back in time to see the Princess stepping out of her dress, revealing long, slender legs and her breasts pushed up by the corset.  Bianca gapes at her and turns away again, muttering to herself.

‘You need... You need to take off the corset and that, too... I’ll... I’ll give you a bra and stuff...’ She opens one of her drawers and retrieves a pink bra with delicate black lace and the matching knickers, both of which she lays on the bed by the shirt. Lastly she grabs a pair of black trousers and drops them onto the pile.

‘You... put these on.’ She points at the clothes and Alexandra nods her understanding. ‘While I... go pee.’ She turns away without looking back at the undressing girl
once
and leaves the room, heading straight into the bathroom opposite and locking the door behind her.

*

Five minutes later she’s
still
splashing water on her face trying to wake up because,
surely
, this is a dream. It
has to be
.

‘I’ve rescued a princess from a dungeon and now she’s wearing my bra...’ she mutters at her face in the mirror. ‘I think I’ve finally lost my mind.’

There’s a timid knock on the door and Bianca unlocks and opens it, nervously. Alexandra is standing outside, the knickers on but the rest of her decidedly uncovered, with the exception of her hair cascading down around her shoulders and over her chest and the really annoying conical hat that’s
still on her head
.

‘Erm...?’ Bianca says, blinking at her face. Her
face
.

‘I know not what I should do with this garment,’ Alexandra says. She holds up the bra and Bianca snaps out of her
oh-my-god-naked-princess-in-my-bathroom
trance.

Bianca pulls a face and takes the bra off her. ‘Like this,’ she tells her, holding it out with the straps open. ‘Arms through here.’ Alexandra steps into it and Bianca steps behind her, pulling the clasp together. ‘Hands.’ She guides Alexandra’s hands to the catch and helps her to pull it together and make it lock. Her knuckles brush over the smooth skin of Alexandra’s back and it’s all she can do not to just go commit herself to a mental institution on the spot.