Authors: Edd McNair
A Hot Mess (4 page)
CHAPTER 5
Joy flipped the page. Reflecting on one of the most trying and hurtful times in her life wasn't easy. She looked at the girl sitting beside Bugg. It was her and Bugg on her mother's couch drinking. She looked like she would squish Bugg, a slim six foot one, 135-pound dude. After giving birth to her daughter Quandra, she'd shot up five sizes, not to mention her breasts had blown up. She didn't know how to really handle the weight, so she wore sweats and t-shirts, or big, flowing dresses.
She turned back a couple pages to the pictures at her son's first birthday party and stared at herself in the picture. “Thirty-six-DD, twenty-six waist, thirty-eight hips, size ten. Damn, I was a bad bitch! Hoes couldn't fuck with it,” she said out loud.
But then those thoughts quickly washed away.
Â
Â
When Joy was released from jail, she had to stay with her moms. Her friends were her friends, but nobody opened their door, except her moms, who allowed her and her kids to occupy a room, leaving her moms on the couch most of the time.
The second night she was there, her moms sat her down. “I know your situation and I want you to get yourself together, but as long as you and them kids running my bills up, you got to pay your way.” Her moms sipped on her Skyy vodka.
“Got you. I work, and I got you. I appreciate it. Give me a month or two, and I will have my own. I won't get comfortable,” Joy said with attitude, never looking at her mom. She sipped on her Grey Goose and went back to doing her nails, mask on her face, and listening to Mary J.
“So when you gonna have some money?” Her mom lit a Newport. “Ain't no food in here, and those kids need to eat.”
“I ain't got shit today. Friday I get paid. They'll eat fuckin' oatmeal and sandwiches,” Joy said.
We're in a nice, quiet, comfortable, clean place. Now be grateful
.
We're in a nice, quiet, comfortable, clean place. Now be grateful
.
“Well, I'm going to the store, so they can have a nice breakfast and lunch. You need to go get them signed up for school first thing in the morning.”
“I know. You gonna take me, right?”
“No, you can go and bring my car straight back. I got things to do,” her mom said, getting her keys.
“What you cookin' this late?”
“Shrimp and fries. I'm hungry.”
“Hurry up. Me too,” Joy said, smiling as her mom went out the door. It was the first time she'd smiled in a while and didn't have to force it.
For the next year, her mom made it comfortable for her grandkids, but hell on Joy. Every time Joy tried to save a penny, her mother had an emergency come up. Joy always gave a hand and gave more than she should've, but it was never enough. She didn't get peace until her pockets were dry and she was begging for bus fare or a ride to work.
Â
Â
She looked back down at the picture. She looked at her hair that was undone and her big, short, flowy dress, no makeup. She looked like a hot mess, but Bugg was right there up under her like a little puppy.
When she'd moved in with her mom, she wasn't computer literate, but after staying with her moms a short while, she built a Myspace site and started hearing from longtime friends. That's how she'd met Bugg, who she knew from middle school.
He'd had a crush on her, just like the other guys, because she was from New York. So when he appeared at her house after they'd caught up on life, the extra weight and other changes never made a difference. He wasn't doing nothing with himself and was still undesirable, but he kept her high and drinking. And he was there to give her rides to work, and to talk to when nobody else was there. He spent many evenings at her mom's eating, drinking, snacking, and being social. Moms loved him because he brought liquor when he came, and was there to help her daughter out.
One Friday night they sat up looking at movies, and everyone else was 'sleep. Joy herself fell asleep, and was laid back on the sofa. Bugg sat in the chair opposite her, staring at her exposed thigh, as her gown rode up, giving him a tempting view.
He'd tried many times to fuck Joy, but she never gave in. This night he decided to allow the tequila to take control and give him the courage he lacked otherwise. He leaned over and fell to his knees and buried his face in her crotch. As she began to stir, he moved her panties to the side quickly and began licking and sucking her love like no tomorrow.
Joy, who hadn't been touched in months, gasped at first. She began to push his head away at the moment he found her clit.
Bugg quickly took the enlarged clit into his mouth and began sucking and flicking his tongue across the little pearl ball. The force of his head being pushed stopped. Then he felt her fingers open, and her warm hands just sat on his bald head, as he sucked and licked ferociously, until her legs opened wider. She finally relaxed and allowed him to finish.
Bugg smiled. He slowed down and ate her until she shook and tried to push him away, but he grabbed her wrists and continued lapping up every drop of her cum.
Bugg tried to fuck, but it was a no-go. She wasn't attracted and never wanted to allow herself to get that desperate again.
A couple months later, after she and her moms got into a big argument over money, she came home from work, and her moms had her bags, her kids, and all her other shit bagged up and at the front door. With nowhere to turn, Bugg was right there to take her to his house, which he opened up to her as if she was his wife and those were his kids. And he allowed her to drive his hooptie. In return, she played wifey, cooking, cleaning, washing, and sharing his bed. Joy disliked it, but she was learning to deal with life and use her assets.
Â
Â
Joy poured the last of her wine into the glass. She was about to fall asleep when she flipped the page and saw the picture of herself standing beside her new used green Hyundai, and her roommate Tamil standing beside her burgundy Nissan Altima. She glanced at the picture of Tamil laid out on the couch fucked up, then her and Tamil sitting at the table with big cups of rum and Coke.
Joy had lived with Bugg for three months until she saved enough to get her a place. Tamil worked with her and had a passion for black men. She wasn't really accepted by white or black women, but for some reason, her being white never bothered Joy because she was cool, so they clicked.
When Tamil was going through it with her husband, she asked Joy for a place to stay. Joy knew how it felt not having a place to stay, and opened her door. Besides, the extra money was well needed, and what was meant to be a couple weeks turned to eight months.
Joy shook her head, reminiscing about the most experimental times of her life. Tamil made her open up. Living with her was like waking up and going to bed with adventure. Sadly, as days passed, she realized Tamil was going through a rough time as usual, always fussing with her husband, always stressed. Then she began to see Tamil spend most of her evenings drinking and on the computer.
Â
Â
One evening Tam sat with her rum and Coke and a big smile on her face, typing away at the computer. Joy came up beside her to see what she was doing and asked why she was smiling.
“This is some shit called Tagged that my husband best friend turned me on to. He knew my husband was fuckin' around on me and use to see me in the house crying and shit. Then one day we were just talking, and he told me I needed some friends.”
“What? Your husband best friend told you that?”
“Yeah, he got a girl, but he ain't married or nothing. He said he got a lot of friends off this site that he talk to. He my friend too. He be sending me tags and shit too.”
“Yeah. But why would he try and get his best friend wife to meet other guys? That don't sound right. Fuck it! That ain't my business. So what is it again?” Joy asked as she stood over Tamil's shoulder.
“It's a Web site that you go to and meet people,” she said. “I'm talking to a guy now that's real cool.”
“I can't meet a man on a computer. That shit seem desperate.” Joy smirked.
“Naw, you just talk to them. I'll show you. You'll get a lot of friends.”
Â
Â
Joy shook her head as she turned the page and looked at herself in the picture with Tamil, all the other friends she'd met during a very trying time in her life. Joy went from meeting guys online, to going out to meet them, to eventually inviting them over and spending time with them. And after a minute she was being pulled into swing parties. Later on, she realized it was a fuck site, somewhere you go and meet people to fuck.
It wasn't long before they were meeting dudes from all walks of life. Soon they were hanging out at some of the most exclusive parties. For the couple years of her life, she would have any fantasy or thought of sex that she gathered come to life. And in these years, she met some of the most desperate, scandalous, disgraceful men she'd ever come across.
She looked at the picture of Don standing in his briefs with his bony ass, looking like he was on crack, which he probably was. But Tamil showed her how enough liquor could make you not give a damn. He was the first dude she'd met online and allowed to come into her world. He came in the door treating her like candy, licking and tasting every part of her body, showing her body attention it had never been shown.
After a couple months, what started fast and exciting turned into this nigga having a family and Joy was just his getaway. So she stepped back. But he still came around from time to time. He became her friend.
Joy sat shaking her head as she looked at Tommy. Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about how, at that time, she was hurting so bad, she let Tamil introduce her to the brother of a guy she'd met. He was married but having problems and needed a friend. Joy was skeptical because she had just been hurt by finding out about Don, but she put it in her mind that since he'd told her up front, he was being fair. She allowed herself to let go and enjoy Tommy. And she did, but she soon got tired of the smoking, drinking, and him just coming at night fucking her silly then leaving.
She soon found out some valuable news from Tamil one Saturday morning when she came in from one of her all-nighters. Tamil came in the door as Joy sat at the computer on Tagged at six in the morning, looking grim, checking her messages.
“What up, girl?” Tamil asked.
“Nothing. Talking to Omari.”
“Y'all been talking a minute, and you only met him once?”
“We went to lunch a couple times.”
“And? You fuck him yet?” Tamil was smiling.
“Naw, I ain't doing that to Tommy,” Joy said.
“You act like you and Tommy serious,” Tamil said with a twisted face.
“He don't want me fucking nobody, and I know he chilling. He getting ready to leave his wife and get his own shit. The way that dude put it down, I know he ain't nowhere else,” Joy said.
Tamil began to laugh. “Joy, you know men and how they wanna fuck, but you don't know men. First of all, I was with him and his wife Thursday. All of us went out. Tommy and his wife are doing fine. They just bought a new house. That's why he carried you to his old one and fucked you, talking about he getting his own, and she walking around here big as a house, pregnant.
“Damn, Tamil! Why he lie? Why he carrying it like I'm all that to him and I turn him on like nobody else? This shit hurts,” Joy said, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Joy, men will say anything. I mean anything to get you open, not just to get the pussy, but so they can keep getting the pussy without the interruption of other guys. See, the reason you feel so good to Tommy is because it's wrong in his mind, so it turns him on. You are a trick. He thinks that, so it turns him on. He's sneaking around, in and out, treating you like shit for real, but taking you out, buying you shit, but in the long run, you are just a trick. When niggas cheat, it's a turn-on to them, but if you looking for love, then you gonna be hurt. You been fucking Tommy for five months and you open, but not in love. You vulnerable.
“I haven't said this because I don't want you to get mad, but you still love Minke. You trying to find a replacement, but you can't. You fuck, so you'll have friends, because you don't wanna be alone. Because if any man come up to you and say, âI'm married, but I really like you and want some time,' he really saying, âYou look like a dumb bitch who head ain't on straight. And I want some of your time so I can convince you to allow me to come by so we can fuck whenever I can get away from my wife.'” Tamil was serious.
Joy smiled with a hurt heart. She was confused.
“I been out here a long time, Joy, and I found out most men got a woman. And if they don't, and you like him, go all out, but if they do, get 'em.” Tamil smiled a wicked smile. “My shit is fun. You met Omari and like him. Tell him to come fuck the shit out of you, so you can forget the pain.”
Other books
Recovery by Abigail Stone
Dark Deceptions by Dee Davis
Bushedwhacked Groom by Eugenia Riley
By the Numbers by Chris Owen and Tory Temple
The Awakening by Oxford, Rain
Night Blooming by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Secret Asset by Stella Rimington
The Cubicle Next Door by Siri L. Mitchell
Kate Noble by Compromised