A Journey of the Heart Collection (36 page)

Isaac led her past the hospital and warehouses and through the tangle of hayricks, shops, and quarters for wagon makers and saddlers. He stepped carefully and pointed out piles of manure and mud for her to avoid before stopping outside the blockhouse.

She'd seemed to withdraw the moment she saw him. Did she think her pregnancy would curb his interest? He loved kids, and he could love any child of Emmie's. How would she react if he told her that? Would she run from that much interest? He wasn't good at understanding women.

“Let me tell the soldiers on duty what we're doing.” He climbed up and found Corporal Lengel watching
the horizon. “Miss Croftner would like to see the moon on Little Piney River. You see any hostiles?”

The corporal's weathered face broke into a grin. “Nothing moving out there, Lieutenant. Want me to hang around and watch, or can you handle it?”

Isaac ignored the soldier's amusement. “I think I can take care of it. I'll go get her.” Once he was away from Lengel, he couldn't hold back his grin as he rejoined Emmie.

She grabbed at the hood of her cloak as the wind blew it off her dark-brown hair. “What's so funny?”

“I told Corporal Lengel I wanted to show you the moon on the Little Piney River.”

“He'll think—”

“Well, I had to give him some reason.”

Emmie flushed. “I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about you and me.”

The finality in her tone erased his smile. Didn't she feel the same tug he did?

She looked away. “Rumors can run through the fort like a–a herd of thundering buffalo.”

He snorted. “Like you've ever seen a herd of thundering buffalo.” Taking her arm, he helped her onto the ladder. “Watch your step.”

The corporal grinned knowingly as they brushed past him to get to the window. “Call when you're finished here, Lieutenant.” He winked as he backed down the ladder.

Her cheeks went even redder. “Now see what you've done.”

Isaac just laughed. Ignoring her outburst, he pointed out the window. “Look at the river.” He watched her face as she looked out over the terrain.

The trees along the river sparkled as though they were made of diamonds. The moon glittered on their coating of heavy frost, and the iced-over river caught the shimmering reflection and bounced it back.

He pointed. “That way is some land I have my eye on.”

“Land? Out here?” She shivered. “Where are you from originally?”

Something warmed in the region of his heart at the interest in her voice. “El Paso. There were four of us boys.” Pain squeezed his chest. “When the Confederacy started forcing Texans into the army, I lit out to join the Cavalry. My pa was livid.”

She touched his arm. “I'm sure he forgave you. You had to follow your principles.”

He pressed his lips together. “I went to see him before I headed out here. Pa wouldn't let me in the house. Two of my brothers died fighting, and he thinks I should have been there to take care of them.”

Her fingers tightened on his forearm. “I'm so sorry.”

He placed his hand over hers. “That means a lot. I'm all right. I aim to get a ranch of my own. I'll raise racehorses some day.”

“Out here?” She turned to look back at him, and her eyes were huge. “It's so dangerous.” She leaned out the window.

Isaac clasped her arm and pulled her back. “Don't do that! There could be Sioux out there just waiting to put an arrow through your pretty head.”

When he touched her, she fell back against him. The press of her small form against him spread warmth all through his body. He caught the scent of something sweet and flowery in her hair.

She straightened up and started to pull away, but he turned her to face him. “A real lady always pays her debts, you know.”

“What do you mean?” She put one hand against his chest.

His voice went husky as he leaned closer. “I
distinctly remember you promising me a hug when I brought the kitchen chairs. It's been two days and I haven't gotten my hug yet. I think I'd better charge you a little interest.”

He drew her closer and Emmie's eyes widened as he bent his head, but she didn't turn away. He smelled the warm scent of her skin as his lips found hers. At first she stood stiffly in his embrace, and her lips didn't respond. He gathered her closer as her lips softened beneath his, and one small hand slid up his chest.

The next instant, she gave a tiny gasp and pulled away. Her chest rose and fell and she was trembling. “That was more than a little interest.”

“I think it was just perfect.” He traced a finger along the curve of her cheek. “Just like you.”

Her blue eyes were huge in her face, and her lower lip trembled. “I–I'd better get back.” Her words were a whisper. “Sarah will be wondering about me.”

He nodded and let her go. She kept a wary eye on him as she took one last look out the window, then hurried down the ladder. She didn't wait for him but struck off toward the officers' quarters.

He followed her quickly. “Wait up, Emmie. What are you so scared of? I won't hurt you.”

“I–I don't want you to think I'm the sort of girl who dallies in the moonlight,” she gulped, her voice nearly inaudible. “Just because I'm a widow–and–and pregnant doesn't mean I'm looking for someone to fill in for Monroe.”

The warm softness he'd felt evaporated at once. “I never thought you were. That husband of yours must have been a piece of work for you to be so prickly, but you don't need to lump all of us men in the same pot of stew. I wouldn't want to do anything to dishonor you or my God.”

Her head jerked up. “Don't you say anything about Monroe. You don't know anything about him.”

“I know he must have hurt you badly. When you arrived at Fort Laramie, you were like a stray dog everyone had kicked too often. I left you alone to lick your wounds, but it's time for you to put the past behind you and get on with your life.” He swept his arm expansively. “This is a new country out here. You can forget Indiana. You can make a new life for yourself.”

“I am making a new life. It just doesn't include kisses in the moonlight with you or anyone else.”

“Maybe I'm rushing you a little.” Isaac stepped
back from her. “But I'll be here when you decide to quit living in the past.” He turned and strode back toward the officers' quarters.

Emmie's throat burned with unshed tears as she mounted the steps to the Campbells' door. She just didn't want to be hurt again. Isaac was interested only because there weren't any other unmarried women here. If they were in Indiana, he wouldn't give her a second glance. She'd never felt she was a lovable person until Monroe came into her life. And after he'd done what he did, she was sure something was inherently wrong with her. No one had ever loved her for herself. Not even her family.

Sarah looked up as she came in. “Did you have a nice walk? Oh—” She broke off when she saw the look on Emmie's face. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing. I'm just tired.” Emmie forced a smile to her face. She felt Sarah's probing eyes, but she refused to meet her gaze. “I think I'll turn in early. I'll see you in the morning.” She fled to the meager haven of her curtained-off bedroom. Sarah wouldn't understand.
She'd like to see her marry Isaac and settle down next door. But that wasn't going to happen, she vowed as she slipped between the cold sheets. Men just couldn't be trusted. Underneath his exuberance and flattery, Monroe had been just like her brothers and father. Just as selfish and deceitful. Isaac was no different. He was just hiding it like Monroe had done.

TWO

T
he fort chapel was a small cabin with seats that were rough, backless benches oozing sap. A small stove in one corner of the room belched out smoke along with a little warmth. Emmie, Sarah, and Sarah's little brother, Joel, sat on the second row beside Amelia Campbell, who was married to Rand's brother Jacob.

All three women were pregnant. Amelia's beautiful face was a little bloated, though her blue eyes still smiled in spite of her discomfort. At about six months, Sarah glowed with a beautiful vitality in her
green eyes. And Emmie just wanted to hide in bed until it was all over.

Emmie never attended church in Wabash other than an occasional wedding. Her pa didn't hold with religion, even though he bellowed out hymns when he was drunk. Emmie always wondered where he'd learned them. He never talked much about how he was raised and she never knew her grandparents. Her pa always said religion was a crutch for weak people, but Emmie thought the liquor was more of a crutch.

The chaplain, Reverend Howard, was a nervous young man with thin, pale hair and a straggly mustache. He read from Isaiah 43:1–2: “ ‘Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.' ”

He closed his large Bible and cleared his throat. “Though it seems we are compassed about by the enemy in this place, God tells us to fear not. He is with us and he will be our shield and comfort.”

Emmie was drawn by the words. Was the
minister right? She glanced at the back of Isaac's head in the row in front of her. He leaned slightly forward in his seat as he listened intently. Did God really care about her in a personal way? She'd never doubted the existence of God, but in her mind, he was a powerful being who looked down on mere mortals with distant interest. Oh, he might deign to involve himself in the moving of nations and history, but he wasn't concerned with the small day-to-day heartbreaks of an ordinary person like her. But was he? Did he send her out here to such good friends as the Campbells because he loved her and cared for her? The thought was comforting, and she wished she could believe it.

As the service ended and they stood to leave, Isaac's eyes caught hers for just a moment. She looked away quickly as Frances Grummond called to them. She was glad for an excuse to turn away from Isaac's warm blue eyes. The look in his gaze threatened to upset all her plans to keep her distance.

“Yoohoo, Emmie.” Frances waved at them from across the room. She was a petite brunette with softly rounded curves and a delightful Southern accent. She, too, was expecting a baby soon. Frances hurried over
when she saw she had her attention. “I'm having tea at my house. Won't you all join me?”

Sarah smiled and clapped. “I've gotten so tired of those same four walls. What can I bring?”

“I have everything prepared. I know my lack of cooking prowess is legendary, but my husband has secured the services of Private Brown as cook. His scones are exemplary.”

“Sounds lovely,” Amelia said. “Our men are out on wood detail or guard duty. What time do you want us?”

“Oh, about three. Bring your mending or whatever and we'll have a fine time of chatting. Mrs. Horton is joining us also. Her husband is tending to an outbreak of colds on the fort.” Frances hurried to rejoin her husband.

Isaac turned and caught her gaze. He started toward her, and Emmie quickly turned to catch Sarah's arm. “Let's go to Amelia's and I'll fix lunch while she rests.”