A Journey of the Heart Collection (8 page)

“There's nothing to say right now.” His tone was abrupt. “I still don't know how I feel about you or anything else.” He took off his sopping hat and ran a weary hand through his wet hair.

“Campbell!” Ben's hoarse growl interrupted them. Glowering, he raised his head from the back of the buckboard. “This isn't over, Campbell. You'll never have her. Never. You just remember that.” His head fell back against the floor of the buckboard as Labe slapped the
reins against the horse's flank, but Ben watched them until he was out of sight, a burning hatred in his eyes.

Sarah shivered. “I think he means it. Watch your back, Rand.”

“I can take care of myself. You're soaked to the bone. You go on in now. Just give me some time.”

Sarah hesitated, her eyes searching his sober face. Time? How much time? But she left the questions unanswered and walked wearily up the porch steps, her wet skirt dragging in the mud. She turned to watch Rand and Jacob mount up and ride down the lane and around the curve. Didn't he realize how much time they'd wasted already?

The next morning Rand woke disoriented. The familiar clanging of trays in the hallway and the squeak of nurses' shoes scurrying was missing. Sunshine streamed in the window and illuminated suddenly familiar surroundings. The toy soldiers Grandpa had carved for him when he was five were lined up on a battered chest against the wall. His fingers stroked the brightly colored quilt, soft and faded with numerous
washings. The rug on the unpainted wood floor was as threadbare as he remembered it.

He glanced at the space next to him. Jacob was nowhere to be seen, but there was that indentation on the pillow, a sight he'd seen hundreds of times and had thought he'd never see again.

He jumped out of bed, eager to get downstairs. He wouldn't worry about anything today, he decided as he splashed cold water on his face. He was just going to enjoy being with his family again after three long years. No uniform either. He opened his closet, grabbed a pair of overalls and his favorite plaid shirt, and pulled them on. The pants hung around his waist, and they were too long, but they would have to do.

By the time he pulled on socks and boots, the aroma of coffee and ham filled the air and made his stomach rumble. The low murmur of voices quickened his steps as he hurried down the stairs.

His mother spun around as he stepped into the kitchen. “I was just coming to wake you. I fixed ham and eggs, grits, flapjacks, and coffee. I'll have you fattened up in no time.” She gave him a quick, reassuring hug.

Rand grinned as he squeezed her, breathing in the faint fragrance of roses that clung to her. She
wouldn't be Ma without that scent. He remembered gathering wild roses every summer for her to make sachets for her bureau drawers. He dropped his arms as she bustled over to the cookstove, then offered him a plate piled high with food. His mouth watered as he took it from her and sat between Shane and Jacob.

Hannah came hurrying in as Rand took his first sip of strong, hot coffee. Her face brightened as she saw Rand shoveling another forkful of eggs into his mouth. “Now I am sure it's really you.” She slipped into the chair opposite him. “The brother I remember is always eating.”

Rand, a wicked grin on his face, caught Jacob's eye and gave a meaningful nod. “How come you're still here, anyway, Sis? Thought you would have trapped yourself a husband by now.”

“Come on, Rand. Be realistic.” Jacob poked him with an elbow. “Who would have her? She has always been the ugliest Campbell.”

Rand stared at his sister. “Yeah, I forgot about that big nose of hers. And all that hair.”

“Not to mention her temper! Her tongue could cut a man to ribbons.” Jacob grinned at the rising color on Hannah's face.

Rand knew they'd get a reaction when they hit on her sore spot. She was always moaning about her nose. Personally, Rand didn't see anything wrong with it, but she seemed to think it didn't match the pert ones described in her favorite novels.

She flushed a deep red, then burst into tears.

“Hey, I'm sorry, Sis.” Rand hadn't expected this much of a reaction. He reached over and put an arm around her. “You know we were only teasing. I've always liked your nose.”

Hannah just cried harder. “It's not that,” she finally sputtered as Rand handed her his bandanna. She drew a deep breath. “It's just so wonderful to have you here, to see Jacob smile again, to hear your voice—” She stopped and gulped.

The dimples deepened in Rand's cheeks as he stared at his sister. “It sure is good to be home. To be with you all again just like before this crazy war ever happened. You don't know how anxious I was to get home. I was so scared when no one answered my letters.”

Their parents had been watching the exchange between their children with indulgent smiles, and Ma's eyes welled with tears at Rand's words. She dabbed at her eyes with a lace-edged hankie.

His dad cleared his throat gruffly. “You're just in time to help with the farming too. It's almost more than Shane and I can handle. I've tried to talk your brother into staying home, but he won't listen. Now I'll have some help come spring.”

Rand glanced at Jacob. Hadn't he told them of Rand's plans? He and his brother had lain awake for hours talking last night. He'd been hoping that by now Jacob would have broken the news to their father. His brother shook his head slightly.

Pa's gaze traveled from one son to the other. “What is it?”

Rand hated to disappoint their father. “I-I won't be able to stay long, Pa,” he stammered. “I'm in the Third Cavalry. I can stay for about a week, but then I have to report for duty.” He winced at the stricken look in his mother's eyes. “I've been garrisoned at Fort Laramie. I still have two years to go of my service.”

“Not you too!” Hannah stood twisting her hands in her apron. “The Sioux have been rampaging for months out there. Isn't it bad enough we're losing Jacob?”

Jacob shrugged. “That's why so many of us are being sent out West. And I've found out in the past couple of years how much I enjoy the cavalry. I've
always wanted to see the frontier, so I don't mind the assignment. Maybe I can find my own spread while I serve my country.”

“Rand, no.” His father rose to his feet. “Why do you think I've worked so hard on this farm? Always expanding, always looking for ways to make more money?” He put an arm around Ma. “It's been for you! For you and your brothers. You can't go! Surely the army would release you after all you've been through.”

His mother flinched as the words echoed in the warm kitchen. He stood and faced his father. “I don't want to be released. I'm a grown man, Pa. This is what I want.”

Ma laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Your pa is just concerned, Rand. Can't you think about staying home now and letting us all begin to heal? You can raise horses right here on land that's been in the Campbell family for twenty-five years instead of fighting Indians to gain a small piece of land in some godforsaken wilderness. You haven't been with us for three years.”

His mother had always been able to change his mind in the past, and he fought against the soft persuasion in her voice. “I can't, Ma.” He raked a hand through his
hair. “I need to prove something to myself, to build my own dreams with my own sweat. I have to go.”

Pa took a long look at his son's granite face, then left the room. Ma opened her mouth to try again, but one look at the firm set to Rand's mouth changed her mind.

Always the peacemaker, Hannah cleared her throat and laughed self-consciously. “So, the calvary, huh? You've always had the magic touch with horses and cattle. When Ma was carrying Jacob, she asked you if you wanted a baby brother or sister. You looked up with those brown eyes of yours all serious and said, ‘If it's all the same to you, Ma, I'd just as soon have a horse.' ”

Laughter defused the tension as they heard the familiar story. Jacob punched Rand in the arm. “Yeah, and you've been treating me like a beast of burden ever since!”

When the laughter faded, Hannah looked at Rand and said softly, “You are taking Sarah, aren't you?”

Rand looked away from her expectant face. “No.” It was all he could do to shake his head, to stick to his decision. “Not right now. I need some time to accept all that's happened. I'll keep in touch, and down the
road, we'll see if we can work things out.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Anyway, that area is no place for a woman. She'd soon get sick of being confined to the fort. You know how independent she is.”

“Jacob is taking Amelia. It must not be too dangerous.”

Hannah's expression turned mutinous as she opened her mouth to argue further.

“Don't push me, Hannah. I know you're concerned, but I have to be sure in my own mind why she took up with Ben. She was mighty young when I left for the war—only sixteen. I need to be sure she knows her own mind.”

Hannah sighed impatiently. “Why are men so thickheaded?” She rolled her eyes.

Rand grinned and pushed away from the table. “It's the only protection we have against you women.” He stood and stretched. “Better get to the fields. I'll help all I can while I'm here.”

“What about your leg?”

“I feel fine, Sis. And I need to work at getting my strength back.” He grabbed his hat and followed his brothers out the door.

Out on the porch, Jacob stopped and thrust his
hands in his pockets. “Don't you know how rare it is to find someone to love the way you love Sarah? Don't throw it away.”

Rand looked away. “Nothing was like I expected, Jake. Things turned out pretty well for you, though. You and Amelia. You'll be married and off on an adventure together.”

“You could be, too, if you weren't so pigheaded.” Jacob's lips flattened, then finally curved into a smile. “Swallow your pride. Go see Sarah. She never stopped loving you. She pined for you. Haven't you even noticed how thin she is? If losing you once nearly destroyed her, what do you think losing you again would do to her? You'll come back and find her dead and buried.”

Rand inhaled sharply at the thought. He stared into his brother's brown eyes and saw the certainty there. “It wouldn't hurt to just talk, I reckon.”

Jacob clapped his hand on Rand's shoulder. “Then get to it. I can handle the plowing.”

Sarah sighed as she stared across the river. What could she do to change Rand's mind? She hadn't
heard a word from him all day. Should she try to find him? But he'd said to give him some time. So she'd come to their favorite spot to wait him out. She leaned down and picked up a flat rock. She skimmed it across the water, and it skipped three times. Not very good. She was losing her touch. She reached down for another rock.

“The last time I saw you do that, it skipped six times.”

She turned immediately and smiled. Rand. It was almost as if her hopeless wishing had conjured him up. “Oh, Rand, I'm so glad you came.”

He held out his arms, and she rushed into them. The scent of his hair tonic slipped up her nose. A familiar scent that clouded her thoughts into a hopeless jumble.

She buried her face in his broad chest and clung until he lifted her chin. His brown eyes searched her face, and the touch of his breath on her cheek was like a caress. She'd waited so long for this. His mouth came down on hers, so tentative yet so familiar. As his lips touched hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the love in her heart.

He pulled her closer, his right hand pressing her
waist. His passionate response convinced her she hadn't lost him after all. It would be all right. It had to be.

“I tried to stay away, Green Eyes, but I couldn't,” he whispered. He loosed his grip on her with a sigh.

She refused to step away and clung to his shirt with both hands. “I'm so sorry about Ben.” How did she even begin to explain?