A Kachina Dance (7 page)

I had come prepared with a list of best
restaurants
from the N
ew York Times and Jay knew
his favorite eaterie
s. We were democratic. If I cho
se a posh restaurant
like the Pink Adobe
, Jay could
choose
a local
bakery like
Pasquel’s
.  His choices
usually turned out to be outstanding
and were much cheaper
.
I tore up my list.

“Please let me give you some money for all these restaurants. I feel guilty about seeing you pay
for so much.”

“Let’s say it’s payback for all the stuff you bought for the studio.”

“Ha, I’m sure you won’t use half of it when I’m gone.”

“Not true, I love the coffeemaker and I ca
n’t say enough about the fan.”
He grins.

Our day
s are crammed but time
moves
rapid
ly
.
It was Sunday
,
our last day in the city
,
and after a leisurely breakfast at the Inn we stroll t
o the plaza a few blocks away.
I
buy some pottery and baskets.
Jay buys me a
beautiful turquoise necklace from one of the
Native artisans in the square.
We go for lunch at Casa de
Sena
,
a
trendy
watering hole
,
for the bejeweled of society
and I finally treat Jay to lunch. 

“
I feel triumph
ant
! You finally let me pay for a meal.”

             
H
e laughs
. “You only got your
way because
the necklace caught me
short.
I didn’t expect such a posh place for lunch.”

“It is our last day and I just wanted to see what
all the fuss
over Casa de
Sena
was about
.
My boss had recommended the
place to me.
You must admit it is lovely.
”

“
Yes
,
but I
’d
rather be somewhere else.
I wish I had my bike.
Wouldn’t it be great to rid
e into the mountains
?”

“
Yeah, it would
. W
e could take the car.”

“It isn’t quite the same, is it?
” He gives me his
slight smile.

“No, it isn’t.
But wi
th the wine we drank, I think
walking is a better option.”

Somehow all the plans we have for the afternoon fall apart as we stroll back to the Inn and find our bed.
The day passes into
night
and we sit
together
under a starry
sky
outside our room.
Smiling
,
Jay says
, “We fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.”

“Y
ou feel that way
,
too?
”
I sigh and move closer to him.
I look up into his face.
“I
keep
repeat
ing
to myself that
this never
has
happened to me before.
It’s incred
ible how alike we are
.
Jay,
I know you’ll be the great
est
love of my life.”

“I
know you will be mine,” he says as he slowly unpins
my hair.

There’s something very provocative about having your hair fall leisurely on your bare shoulders when the man doing it starts to kiss you slowly.

Chapter 5

Back in the studio a day later,
Jay kisses me before he leaves the bed an
d I bask in the afterglow of making love
. I am floating on waves of
emotions
which
fill
me
with
warm
th
and
pleasure
. I have
no de
sire to leave the bed.
Ye
t I roll on my side
and think about making coffee.
The sex goddess
nipp
ily goes to the co
ffeemaker and begins the brew.
Jay is
out of the shower and I hand him a steaming cup of b
lack coffee.
He smiles
broadly
and kisses my nose.

“You’re handy to have around.”

“
Ya
’ think?”

“Hmm, and I like all your cute freckles especially the one on your right breast.”

“That’s a beauty mark,
sir,” I say with pretend indignation.
I r
un into the
bathroom
and he starts to get dressed.
When I return h
e pulls me close. 

“I like the way y
ou smell of vanilla and roses.
I like the way you look in the
hazy
morning
,
still asleep
,
with
your hair
spilling over your pillow a
nd your limbs so soft and embraceable
.
I like the way
you respond to my kisses when you’re still not awake.
And most of all, I love hearing you moan when we make love.
”
He begi
n
s
nuzzling my ear and
neck
and I heave
a gentle sigh
and I wrap my arms around him
.

“Jay, there’s only a wee
k left, not even that, really;
I leav
e early Sunday morning.”
I pulled away from him to look at his face. 

“What can I
say?
”
He looks
at me with a funny expression.
“I can count.” 

I c
an
feel tears welling up so
I turn,
walk
to the bed
,
and
si
t down. 
Jay follows
me.
“Kate, I’ve got to
shave
.
We can talk about this tonight but no matter what we say it means good-bye.”

“So this
is just a summer fling to you?”
I say
angrily
.

“You know it isn’t…n
ot for me o
r for you.
But, Kate
, can I ask you to give up your fancy li
fe in Manhattan and live here?
Or would you want me to leave m
y very humble studio and move
to a place
where
I don’t belong?
Let’s be real Kate.
It won’t work.
I’d do anything to keep you here if you would be happy
,
but I know in a few months you’d miss your old lifestyle.
” 

He goes to the bathroom
and I craw
l under the covers and weep.
Before he leaves for work, he
squats
by the bed, brushes asid
e my hair and kisses my mouth.
“I love you.
L
et’s make the most of these
days, Kate,” he whispers.

“Yeah, I’ve got to s
ee the glass half full, right?”
I smile through my tears.
“I promise I’ll be in a better mood tonight.”
I squeeze his hand.
“
We could never marry anyway,
I know that.”

“What? Who mentioned marriage?”

“I know you would only marry a Hopi so your children would be part of her clan.”

Jay stands and sits on the bed. “Katie, I was married to a Hopi. It didn’t work.” He plays with my hair. “Truthfully, I haven’t wanted to repeat that mistake.” He
bends to kiss me and gives me a slight smile
. “I have to go.” H
e departs
quickly
.

A
lone in his
studio I wonder
how
this
story
w
ill
end.
Could I just leave in a couple of days and never
look back?   R
ealistically, would I be happy with a life
here?
Just looking at all my purchases
around the tiny space
,
I
kno
w
I wo
uld
n’t.
I
w
ill
be constantly changing
Jay’s life to look like mine
…
n
ot a good thing at all.
I
’d want a bigger apartment in a
trendy
town.
I
’
d
want all new furniture.
I’d want marriage.
I’d want…I’d want…I’d want!

I kno
w
,
too
,
that this kind of love doesn’t ha
ppen often.
Would I regret leaving
Jay
all my life?
My gut say
s
yes and I
begi
n crying
again.
Maybe I’m just a foolish romantic!

B
eing
honest I have
to admit
he’s right.
I
just
ca
n’t give up my N
ew
Y
ork
lifestyle and my
job
either
.
I have
worked so har
d to get this position. I want a career; I enjoy
my profession.
I
heave
a great sigh and r
ealize how selfish I really
am
.
I
f things do
n’t fit into my plan
s, well, I ca
n
’t bend.
Damn, this is
more than I
can
handle
.

Jay comes in about 5:30
carrying a bouquet of
sun
flowers.
He takes me in his arms and
embraces
me. “It’s a beautiful night
for a ride up in
to
the mountains
.
I know the pe
rfect place for a picnic.
Do we have
any food or should we get take out?”

“I’ll have to change from a skirt into pants but that will
only
take a few minutes.
Look
in the fridge, t
here sho
uld be enough things to take for grazing
.
There’s some chees
e, grapes, left over cold-cuts.
Hmm, crackers
and bread are in the cabinet.
Oh, tak
e out the tomatoes and lettuce.
We’ll have t
o buy beer
.
But how are we going to carry it all?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll pack it.
I’ve carried more than this on my bike.”

“But then you didn
’t have me sitting behind you.”
I laugh.

“We’ll manage.”

We leave the
steamy
apartment and head o
ut into the sultry desert air.
The metal of the red bike is fiery so I sit ca
refully holding tightly to Jay.
Once we begin moving the searing heat is fanned by th
e motion of the bike
. The street is
clamoring
with commuters but soo
n we escape to the highway
.
Out of the rese
rvation we stop at a grocery store
for
some cold beers.
We leav
e the noise and
grunge
of
progress
behind
as Jay guns the engine
and we turn onto a country road
.
I laugh to myself at the
irony
of leaving civilization
on
a
bike that w
ill
disrupt nature, too.