A Kauffman Amish Christmas Collection (26 page)

She smoothed her skirt. “It’s rather embarrassing.”

“I’m certain it can’t be that bad.”

She frowned and placed her plain, black handbag on her lap. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“That’s fine,” he said, glancing toward the girls, who were busy ordering candy at the stand. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“Me?” Naomi laughed.
“Ach
, I don’t need anything.”

He studied her deep brown eyes. “There must be something you’d like. There’s always something we don’t need that we’d like to have, even if it’s considered unnecessary or frivolous.”

“Well.” She tapped her chin and glanced toward a bookstand. “There’s a pretty Bible that I looked at a few weeks ago. I’m still waiting for it to go on sale. The binding on my Bible is falling apart, but I don’t necessarily need a new one. However, every night when I open it for my devotional time, I feel the fraying binding and think about how nice it would be to have a new one.”

“Interesting.” He smiled. “You’ll have to show it to me before we leave.”

Naomi shrugged. “Alright. So what about you? What do you want for Christmas?”

At first he waved off the question because he couldn’t think of anything he wanted. But then the answer hit him like a speeding, oncoming freight train. The truth was that he did want something, and it was as if a light bulb went off in his head and in his heart. The feeling was overwhelming and it was brand new, something he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. What he wanted for Christmas was something he’d probably never experience again. He wanted a companion. Someone to share his life with. Someone to tell his hopes and
dreams to and to help him through the tough times. Someone to help him raise Susie in a faithful Christian home.

He wanted a life partner.

He wanted a wife and a mother for Susie.

But finding that wasn’t as easy as Sadie had made it sound.

Besides, worrying about his own needs was selfish and self-serving, since he knew his focus had to be on being the best parent he could for Susie. Aside from God, she was the center of his life now. Concentrating on finding a new wife would only take his focus away from Susie, which would be wrong.

Therefore, he couldn’t tell Naomi the truth about what he wanted for Christmas because it was too embarrassing.

“I don’t need anything.” Grinning, he raised an eyebrow. “Sound familiar?”

She mirrored his grin, and she was adorable. “There must be
something
you want, no matter how unnecessary and frivolous it may sound, Caleb. Isn’t that what you told me?”

He glanced across the large flea market toward a booth with antique tools they’d passed earlier. “There was a tool I spotted over there that would be a great one to add to my collection, but it’s nothing I necessarily need.”

She touched his hand. “I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll show you my dream Bible if you show me that tool you want but don’t need.”

He shook her hand. “It’s a deal.”

Her smile was bright, revealing her dimple.
“Wunderbaar.”

“Dat,”
Susie asked, approaching them. “Can we get some fudge?”

Caleb glanced at Naomi, and she shrugged while pulling
out her wallet. “Let me pay this time. You paid for the licorice.”

He leaned close to her and inhaled her flowery scent, wondering briefly if it was her shampoo. “Put your money away,” he whispered. He then turned to Susie. “That’s a
gut
idea. Let’s all get some fudge.”

Stepping over to a fudge stand, he ordered a slab for the girls and then some for himself and Naomi.

“You’re much too generous,” Naomi said before breaking off a piece from the small block. “I could’ve paid for my sisters and me.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be
gegisch
. It was just fudge.”

“Danki,”
she said.

He wished he could get her to open up to him, but he didn’t want to push her. He and Susie would head back to Ohio soon, so any thoughts of a relationship would be preposterous. Yet, he was captivated by her.

She smiled and then nodded toward the girls, who were disappearing in the crowd. “We’d better catch up to them.”

He nodded. “You’re right.”

They weaved through a knot of shoppers and caught up with the girls at a toy stand.

“Did you have a nice day in town today?” she asked.

“Ya,” he said. “I ran some errands with Robert and visited some old
freinden.”

“I bet your friends were
froh
to see you,” she said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“I think so.” He shrugged while biting into the chocolate. “We stopped by the Kauffman Furniture store so Robert could talk to his
dat
and brothers.” He shook his head as
he recalled the conversations. “Timothy and his brothers are mounting a campaign to get me to move back here. They were trying to get me to go visit a shop that’s for sale near the furniture store.”

“Oh?” Her eyes rounded with interest. “Did you go visit it?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. But I might.”

The girls sat on a bench outside the toy stand and giggled while eating their fudge, and Caleb wondered if he should go visit the shop owner. Would moving Susie closer to his family be a way to help her heal after losing her mother?

He motioned toward a bench near the girls. “Should we sit and finish our chocolate?”

“That’s a
gut
idea.” Naomi sat down. “I didn’t mean to be rude before.”

“Rude?” He sank down next to her. “What do you mean?”

“When you asked me what I thought of the Kauffmans.” She studied her remaining square of fudge, and he wondered if she was avoiding his eyes. “It’s just that I’ve made some mistakes that I regret, and they aren’t easy to talk about.”

Guilt rained down on him for pushing her to discuss it. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s none of my business.”

“No,” she said, frowning as she looked up at him. “You’ve been honest with me, so I need to be honest with you. Timothy and I courted for a short while, but we broke up when we realized that we weren’t right for each other. I also courted Luke Troyer for a short time.
Mei mamm
said I was too eager with them, and I know she’s right.” Her cheeks blazed a bright pink, and he wished he could ease her embarrassment. “But I was young then. I’m almost twenty-five and I know better now. I
won’t rush into another relationship. In fact, I think God would prefer I help
mei mamm
raise my siblings rather than court.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit too hard on yourself? We’ve all had our hearts broken at one time or another, but God still wants us to get married and have a family. You said yourself that God can give us a second chance at love.”

She shook her head. “That’s not what I said. I asked you if
you
believe God gives us a second chance, but I never said I believe it.”

“But you agreed that God gave Sarah Rose a second chance with Luke.”

“
Ya
, I did,” she said softly. “But I’m not so sure he’d be willing to give me a third chance.”

“What makes you think God puts a cap on how many chances we can have to find love?”

Naomi looked away from his stare. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I have.”

“You’re young,” Caleb said. “Don’t give up on love so quickly. Barbara had an
onkel
who didn’t marry until he was almost fifty. He never gave up on love.”

She gasped. “Really? He was almost fifty?”

“I’m not saying you’ll have to wait that long,” he added, wiping his beard with a napkin. “I would imagine you’ll be snatched up quickly with that
schee
smile of yours.”

Looking embarrassed, she bit into the fudge. He wondered what on earth Timothy did to shatter her heart into pieces. Timothy had hinted that he wasn’t proud of how their relationship had ended. He must not have let her down too easily.

They ate in silence for a few moments. The girls finished their fudge, and Susie came over and got money from Caleb in order to purchase a few small toys. While the girls shopped, Caleb and Naomi finished their chocolate.

“How about we go into that antique place?” she asked, wiping her mouth. “I want to see that tool you need.”

He took her used napkin from her and tossed it into the trash along with his. “You forgot what I said. I don’t
need
it. I would like to have it.”

She grinned as she stood. “I meant to say, show me the tool that you
would like
to have.”

“That’s right.” They walked over to the toy shop together, and he approached the girls. “We’ll be right next door looking at the antiques. When you’re finished shopping, come over and join us.”

The girls agreed, and he and Naomi entered the antique shop, where he led her over to the tools. Her eyes widened as she glanced over the assortment of gadgets.

“Wow,” she said. “Are these the tools you use for your buggy projects?”

He grinned. “No, I actually use modern tools, but I like to collect antiques. I can use them, and sometimes I do. But mostly, I collect them for fun.”

She picked up an antique saw and studied it as if it were a precious piece of glass. “How did you start your collection?”

He picked up a hand drill. “My
grossdaddi
started the collection. Actually, he used the tools in his carriage shop. I like to add to it every now and then. It’s not really a frivolous expense because I can actually use them.” He turned the drill over in his hand, examining the craftsmanship.

“Is that the one you want?” she asked as she stepped over to him.

Caleb nodded.
“Ya
. Like I said, I don’t need it, but it would be nice to have.” He placed it back on the counter. “I guess we should go find the girls and see if my
dochder
is finished spending my money yet.”

“Are women ever finished spending a man’s money?” Naomi’s smile was coy.

He grinned. “If I answer that question truthfully, will I get smacked?”

She tapped her chin, feigning deep thought. “I don’t know. I suppose it depends on the answer.”

He laughed and suppressed the urge to put his arm around her shoulders and pull her in to his arms for a hug. He enjoyed her easy sense of humor. Spending time with her was akin to relaxing, a feeling he hadn’t enjoyed in months — no, more like years.

“Dat
!” Susie rushed over, her three shopping bags rustling against her cloak. “I think I’m finished. I got some candy and toys. Want to see?” She held open one of the bags and found a plethora of lollipops, chocolate coins, ring pops, candy canes, marbles, small rubber balls, and little toy cars.

“Very nice, Susie.” He touched her cheek. “I think you’re going to make your
freinden
and cousins very happy on Christmas.”

“Are we heading home now?” Janie asked. “I think I have to help my
mamm
start supper.”

“Ya,”
Caleb said, placing his hand on Susie’s shoulder. “I believe your
dat
may send out a search party if we don’t head home soon.” He glanced at Naomi. “You need to show
me that Bible you were talking about earlier before we head out.”

“Ach
, it’s not something I need.” Naomi waved it off as they weaved through the crowd.

Levina sidled up to Naomi and took her hand. “That pretty Bible you always visit when you come in here?”

Naomi swung her sister’s hand and smiled down at her. “It’s not something I need. I can still enjoy God’s Word with the Bible I have.”

Caleb smiled at the tenderness between the sisters and he took Susie’s hand. “We’ll stop at the book store on the way out.”

They entered the little book stand, and he followed her over to a display of Bibles.

Sylvia pointed to a plain but elegant black Bible. “This is the one she wants.”

Naomi’s cheeks were pink again. “But I really don’t need it.”

Caleb glanced at the price tag. “Would you want your name engraved on the front?”

Naomi shook her head. “Oh, it’s just too much. I couldn’t expect you to—”

“Ya
, she does,” Levina chimed in.
“Mamm
and
Dat
have one that was engraved for them on their wedding day, and Naomi has always thought that was a nice gift. She said she wants one with her name on it too.”

“Levina,” Naomi gently scolded. “You need to mind your own business.”

Janie glanced toward the clock on the wall. “We better go,” she said, starting toward the door. “I don’t want my
dat
angry with me. You know how he gets.”

Caleb nodded, knowing how short his brother-in-law’s temper could be. He distinctly remembered the early years of Sadie’s marriage to Robert, when he’d yell at her for things as simple as supper not being ready at his requested time.

Once the girls were loaded into the back of the buggy, Caleb climbed into the buggy seat next to Naomi. “Do you want me to drop you and your sisters off at home?”

She nodded. “That would be
wunderbaar.”

While the girls chatted about snow and Christmas, Caleb and Naomi rode in silence. He wondered if she’d had as much fun as he’d had today. He wished the afternoon didn’t have to end. The idea of moving back to Bird-in-Hand swirled through his mind. Should he go look at that shop? Should he make an offer on the place if it was a good deal? Did he want to uproot Susie? Was he entitled to the happiness he could possibly have here in Lancaster County?

Out the corner of his eye, he spotted his daughter laughing with her cousin and Naomi’s sisters. If he moved her here, he wouldn’t so much as uproot her as give her a sense of family. Surely, she would miss her friends back in Ohio, but she would also make new friends, including Naomi’s sisters and Naomi herself.

“Turn here,” Naomi said, breaking through his thoughts. “Then go about half a mile and turn right.”

“Oh,” Caleb said with a smile. “You’re not far at all from Sadie’s house.”

Naomi shook her head. “Just a little ways, really.”

“Close enough to walk,” he said, steering around a corner.

“
Ya
,” she said, lifting her purse from the floorboard. “I think Susie got all that she wanted today.”