A Kind of Truth (11 page)

“Ten may have been lowballing. It was probably closer to fifteen. You made mistakes, Terry. We all did. It’s not the end of the world, but it will be if we don’t get it right.” I shrugged, confident I’d been as kind as I could be.

He started to walk by but stopped at the last second, giving me a pointed look with a sneer on his mug as he leaned in and hissed in my ear. “I fucked her. She didn’t want to wait for your ugly ass, and I think she digs me more anyway.”

“Huh? Who?” I was totally confused. Obviously I was supposed to be pissed by his news flash, but I had no idea who he was talking—oh. “The cute girl with the tatts?”

“Yup. She digs sucking cock too. Your loss, fearless leader,” he snarled.

I stared after him. Yeah, I wanted to kick his ass. However, not for the reason he thought.

Tim looked up from his phone when Terry stormed out of the room. “What was that about? Don’t tell me he was offended you basically called him a hack in front of the band and our new manager. Jesus, Rand! Can’t you say things… I don’t know… nicer?”

“No. I can’t. That guy is wasting our time.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me he banged the girl from the bar.” I snorted. “As if.”

“The girl from the bar is the one who wrote that review. Leah. He’s probably jealous.”

“Whatever. I don’t have time for stupidity.”

Tim furrowed his brow. “You know I was thinking… maybe we should tell Mike and Terry about us. You, me, and Cor are like brothers. We need to trust them and—”

“About us? You make it sound like we’re a couple,” I said testily. “I don’t trust him, and I’m not telling him anything. I’d like to see how big a hole he can dig first.”

“That’s not very mature. The only way this works is if we’re completely transparent.”

“Or careful. Just relax. I’m not going to worry about Terry, and I’m not having any heart-to-hearts with him. I’d rather watch him squirm. He’s a bad idea. I don’t care about transparency with someone I know is a short-term fix. I’ve got to find a replacement for him.”

Tim sighed heavily. “Why can’t you just get along with people?”

“I’m trying, Timmy. Come on. Let’s get to work.” I tweaked his cheek and gave him a goofy grin to break the tension.

“Cut it out.” He swatted my hand but didn’t bother hiding a sly smile when he continued. “Or I’ll start hounding you again about Saturday night
after
the gig.”

I made a motion to zip my lips, then gestured for him to keep moving. He huffed good-naturedly, and he regaled me with a funny story from the bar after I’d left. He hadn’t teased me much about not coming home, but I had a feeling it was because he hadn’t, either. I wasn’t going to volunteer any information either way. I trusted Tim, but I felt a strange protectiveness toward Will. His naïveté and lack of pretension were refreshing, but they made me nervous too. I wasn’t ready to share him until I figured him out. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s thoughts on whether or not seeing a man was a good idea either. We’d had plenty of discussions about potentially being labeled and pigeon-holed before we were given a fair shot. It was best to concentrate on the music.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON
couldn’t get here soon enough. Other than sending random text messages, I hadn’t talked to Will since Sunday. Two days wasn’t much, but I was desperate to assure myself the whole thing hadn’t been a figment of my imagination. And God, I wanted to touch him again.

We agreed to meet in the lobby of the Performing Arts building as usual. Only authorized students and faculty were granted use of the elevators and access to the classrooms. I gave my name to the receptionist and observed the students coming and going. College settings intrigued me. I loved the energy and excitement of educated expression and free thought. There was a hopeful vibe in the air that made me sorry for the jaded sensibilities of real life beyond these hallowed walls.

“Hi. Sorry, I had to talk to my professor and….” Will stopped in his tracks and smiled shyly when I handed over the coat I’d borrowed the other morning. He looked like his preppy self in a pair of khaki pants and a navy V-neck sweater. “Thank you.”

“Thank
you
. My balls were seconds away from freezing off. I wouldn’t have been any good to you then.” I smirked playfully.

“Does that line actually work in the real world?”

“Not at all.”

Will let out a soft chuckle before gesturing for me to follow him. “Right. Come on.”

Two giggling girls in coordinating striped sweaters jumped into the elevator with us. I shifted my guitar case out of their way with a brief apology. They smiled in return and whispered something to each other. Elevator rides could be so awkward. No one wanted to speak candidly in front of people they didn’t know in a confined space. So yeah, I was a little surprised when Will spoke up.

“I think you left a couple other things at my place.” His tone was nonchalant, kind of like he was telling me what he ate for breakfast. “I found your hat under the bed.”

I felt my brow rise dramatically. “You don’t say.”

“Mmm-hmm. I forgot to bring it. Sorry.”

“No problem. What else? My underwear?”

Watching Will’s face turn pink, then red was extraordinarily entertaining. I nudged his elbow playfully and tried to gain control of my smile before it threatened to take over my entire face. When I couldn’t take the building pressure of emotion, I winked at the girls, then leaned in and kissed his lips, loving that I took him by surprise. The elevator doors slid open a moment later. Will stepped into the empty corridor and gave me a wide-eyed, incredulous stare.

“I cannot believe you just did that,” he said as the doors closed.

“What? Kissed you on an elevator? It’s not like farting, ya know.”

Will huffed a sigh that clearly said he thought I was hopeless before turning to walk down the hall. “I was talking about the underwear comment, but yeah, the kissing part was awkward too. No one wants to watch two people going at it in a confined space. And besides, we’re supposed to be playing this strictly straight while we’re in public.”

He stopped to unlock the door to the classroom, pausing to give me a perturbed look before he moved inside ahead of me. I barked a quick laugh as I set my guitar on the back table and shrugged my jacket off.

“First of all, that was hardly going at it. It was a peck. You were the one advertising I left my clothes at your place in front of a couple cute girls. And who said anything about playing straight?”

“Were we not in the same room two mornings ago talking about this?”

“We were. In fact, we were naked in your bed. Decidedly unstraight. But the way I remember it, I was the one who was holding back the gay while you were the one going for it. Let’s go back to the elevator. I think you purposefully blew my cover back there with those girls. Were you jealous?”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thanks.”

“It wasn’t a compliment,” he quipped as he made his way to the piano.

“Well, the next time you announce you’re holding my underwear hostage in a crowd, all bets are off, baby.” I gave him a lascivious once-over and waggled my eyebrows.

Will chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. But I’m pretty sure your tighty-whities never came up. My comment was perfectly innocent. There’s a big difference between hats and underwear.”

“I’m on to you, Will. You wanted those girls to know something’s going on between us. They’re probably talking right now. Bet they’re wondering if we’re in here having sex. Hell, they could be outside that door listening. Maybe we should give ’em something to talk about.” I made a show of unbuckling my belt and the top button on my 501s. “Is there a camera in this room?”

“Keep your pants on. I’ve got two months left ’til graduation, and I’d prefer not to get kicked out of school, please,” Will said primly, smacking my hand away.

“You won’t get kicked out. I doubt we’d be the first anyway.”

I rebuttoned my jeans and started to back up, but at the last second, I reached out to cup his chin between my thumb and forefinger. I traced his jaw and let my thumb roam higher to caress his cheekbone just under his glasses. His eyes fluttered shut. I loved the contrast of his fair skin and darker lashes and eyebrows. He was so damn pretty. And those lips. They were sensuous. That was the word. I leaned in and brushed my nose against his. I could feel his breath on my lips. The urge to plunge my tongue inside and take what I was very sure we both wanted was strong, but I waited for his permission.

When he didn’t respond, I let my hand fall to my side and started to pull back. Maybe he really was serious about propriety in the classroom. I wasn’t used to curbing my impulses to suit someone else’s sensibilities. I’d spent twenty-five years doing only what I wanted. Screw anyone else. Now here I was, attempting to hide my gay side publicly while trying to follow Will’s lead in private. It felt strange, I thought, just as Will launched himself at me.

I grunted in surprise when he wrapped his arms around my neck and crashed his mouth over mine. He softened the connection and tilted his head as he raked his fingers through my hair. I responded but let him control the tempo. Until he tentatively licked my lips. Fuck, he tasted sweeter than I remembered. Like peppermint candy or hot chocolate. I pulled him flush against my chest and slid my tongue alongside his, twisting and colliding in a passionate fusion. When he gasped for air, I pulled back, only to have him grind his hips into mine and lick my jaw. He swayed into me with a moan and lost his footing.

“Steady there.”

I kept my gaze locked on his as I inched away. I couldn’t figure him out. Will was sexier than he knew, which spelled potential danger for me. It was better to let the music take over for now.

I picked up my guitar and dragged a plastic chair over to the piano when he turned to take a seat at the bench. “What are we learning today, Teach?”

“Up to you. Do you want to play something you’ve already written? You could run through it, and maybe I can help you tighten it up.”

“Good idea. If you can perform any minor miracles, I’d appreciate it. I need to become a master guitarist sooner rather than later.”

“Trouble with Terry?” he asked distractedly as he ran his fingers over the piano keys.

I strummed the first few chords of a song I’d just written before answering. “I can’t stand the guy. Being in the same room with him is a challenge to my already thin patience.”

Will smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for the bad referral. You know, when you first called me about tutoring, I was afraid you’d be kind of like Terry. He’s the adult version of the guys I avoided in junior high and high school. He always looked like he wanted to stuff me in a locker. You may be overly confident and a tad conceited at times, but you’re nothing like him.”

“Gee thanks. You probably wouldn’t have liked me much in junior high, though. I wasn’t a bully but I was always looking for trouble. I couldn’t wait to do things to piss everyone off. I must be softening in my old age.” I sighed as I stood and bumped his hip to take a seat beside him on the bench.

“Must be. I was the opposite. I always tried to please. I was careful not to rock the boat. I still am to a degree, but the best thing about being in a place like New York is the feeling you can lose yourself and start over.”

“Lose yourself to find yourself?”

“Exactly. I haven’t taken advantage of it yet, but still…. People rarely notice what you look like or how you act here, unless you’re outlandish. Even then they’re more likely to applaud your daring. That’s not the case where I’m from. It’s hard to blend in a small town with a gay population of one,” he commented with a frown as he raised his hands over the keys again.

I adjusted the guitar strap, then pushed my instrument over my shoulder before turning on the bench to get a better look at him.

“I doubt you were the only gay kid.”

“Maybe not but it felt that way. People didn’t talk about being gay where I’m from. If homosexuality came up in conversation, it was spoken about in hushed tones like they were discussing an unfortunate and possibly contagious disease.” He let out a humorless half laugh before sliding off the bench from the opposite side and picking up his acoustic guitar.

“Why did you come out, then?”

“I didn’t. I was outed.” His voice was so matter-of-fact. He kept his gaze on the fretboard as he twisted his wrist to form a complicated chord.

“Who outed you?”

“Huh? Oh. A concerned cousin who saw me at the theater sitting a little too close to a boy who was widely thought to be ‘one of those.’”

“One of those what?”

Will smiled, but it went nowhere near his eyes. He didn’t look haunted or upset. More like resigned. I didn’t like it.

“Faggots. I’m from a small Midwestern town and people talk. It’s like I told you, if you thought someone was… different, it was best to stay away from them. No one wants to be associated with undesirable types. Like gays. The short story is my dad’s cousin, Agnes, saw me with Sean Ingersoll, town queer, and decided to warn my parents. Cousin Agnes was also the town librarian, and she already had me on her radar because of my peculiar reading habits. She thought it was odd that I always seemed to choose books by gay authors,” he scoffed. “She thought she should warn Dad that people would start talking and maybe jump to conclusions about me being one of those ‘homos.’ Especially if I was spending time with Sean.

“So like the selectively concerned parent he is, Dad pulled me into the den after dinner one night and told me he was alarmed. He must have said ‘they’re all gonna think you’re a faggot’ five times before I finally snapped and said, ‘I am a faggot!’ Needless to say, he wasn’t happy. And he was probably confused. Up until that moment, I’d always tried to please him. He expected me to cower, deny it, and renounce my friendship with Sean. But I wouldn’t.”

“What did he do?”

“He slapped me,” he said. His voice was devoid of emotion. He sounded like he was reading the ingredients from a box of cereal and wasn’t particularly impressed with the contents.