A Kingpin Love Affair (8 page)

With little effort, he pulled me across the room, sliding his card once again to gain access to the next set of doors. Once inside, we entered a large room that was far bigger than the other one we had been in only moments ago. I took in the entire room within a couple of seconds, my eyes zeroing in on the far wall that was lined with guns of all types and sizes.

Anxiety formed in me and I felt myself backing up toward the door. Jared saw the worry within me and in an instant took a step toward me.

“Guns are used to protect you. Yes, they have the potential to hurt you but so does anything in life.” Everything he said held truth, but the panic inside of me was constantly rising. I had heard gunshots in the trades. I had heard screams and pleas for mercy. When I thought of guns, I thought of what they could bring.
Death.

“I don’t want to do this, Jared. It reminds me too much of them...” Dread filled my voice as I took another step back. Jared’s arms wrapped around me in an instant, his fingers splaying across my back causing an eruption of emotions to form within me.

“You’re bigger than your biggest fears.” He soothed. I placed my head against his chest, focusing on the beat of his heart. Was he right? Could I get over my own fears? Before I could answer my own question, Jared’s voice pulled me back to the here and now.

“Your fears are as big as you allow them to be. If you make them the size of a house, then they will be huge forever, and you’ll always have one hell of a time getting over them. But if you make them the size of a small stone, then you can easily overcome them.”

He gripped my chin forcing me to look up into his eyes and nowhere else. It was in those eyes that I saw someone who had greater fears than I ever did. Someone who was on a path of destruction. In the depths of those beautiful brown eyes, I saw a person more lost than I ever was, and I wanted to reach right inside of him, pull him out, and offer him everything he needed even if it left me without anything.

“Ready?” he asked pulling me from my thoughts. Instead of doing that, I nodded my head yes, allowing him to bring me over to the table covered with guns.

“What is this place?” I questioned curiously, eyeing one of the guns.

“It’s a shooting range, one that Agent King had made for him and his team. They come here and train, shooting practice basically, every once in a while. I have free range to use it whenever, so here we are.” His voice was placid as he picked up a gun, one that had caught my eye. It was small, sleek, and black, and I wondered how such a small weapon could take someone’s life.

“Really? That’s pretty cool. I didn’t know that agents could build their own shooting ranges. I mean, it’s not like I know a lot of things, but...” God, I sounded so fucking stupid. Jared said nothing, his eyes still glued on the gun he had plucked off the table as I trailed off.

“Let’s try this one out. It’s small, lightweight, and its accuracy is right on when it comes to hitting its target.” With the gun still in his hand, he guided me over to something that looked like a booth. Setting the gun down, he grabbed a pair of earmuffs and what looked like goggles for your eyes, placing them down in front of us.

“Is this going to be hard to shoot?” I asked as my face scrunched up in confusion. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing and I hated it. I hated the unknown because it reminded me of the past, of the fact that at one point in time, I didn’t know where I would end up.

“No, it’s pretty easy. The black part right here…” He pointed toward the part of the gun that he held against his palm, “holds your ammunition. It’s called a magazine.” With the flick of his finger, he discharged what he called the magazine, causing some of the ammunition to release from the bottom.

Then as fast as he had discharged it, he slipped it back in, a loud click filling the room. From there, he showed me the components of the gun, how to check if it’s loaded, and how to turn the safety on and off. I could feel the sweat on my palms as he placed the goggles on my head and the earmuffs onto my ears, leaving one ear slightly uncovered. My stomach filled with butterflies instantly as he placed me in front of him.

Taking my hand, he placed it against the gun forcing me to grip it, his hand covering my own. I could feel my heartbeat pulsing as his body became flush with mine.

“Safety off.” Jared’s voice came out calm yet strong and with the flick of my finger, the safety came off. My arms wobbled nervously as I stared at the target against the wall. Would I even hit it? Was there really a reason to learn how to shoot a gun? When would I ever shoot someone? Questions filled my head, spiking my nervousness.

I can’t do this I told myself, my palms still sweating profusely almost causing me to lose my grip.

“Aim,” he whispered in my ear. We were so close it was as if we were no longer two bodies but one as I could feel his pulse through his shirt.

“Breathe.” I could feel my vision blurring, my breaths coming in as heavy pants. “Breathe slowly and shoot,” I could hear him say to me, and when my breaths finally evened out, his finger pressed against my own gently on the trigger.

“Fire steady.” With stealth and precision, he forced my finger against the trigger. A loud muffled bang echoed around me vibrating through my body and filling the room. My breathing was harsh as the bullet left the barrel, flying toward the target on the other side of the room. My arms were shaking like a leaf in the wind as I watched the bullet penetrate the paper.

We continued to stay standing as we were, and for what reasons, I didn’t understand. All I knew was when the bullet came out of the barrel I had felt something take over. I felt like the control was in my hands, as if I controlled my life.

“Thank you,” I whispered unto him and it was true, I was more than thankful.

For the first time in my life, I was grateful for a gun, for protection, but most of all, for Jared.

“Sir,” Antonio’s annoying
voice sounded in my ears. I lifted my eyes to his face. I clenched my fists together telling myself it would do me no good to beat his head against the side of the car. Antonio was my nephew. I took him in as a child, teaching him everything he needed to know about the family business.

“What?” I simply stated my tone snide. It had been days since we had any contact with the sellers. I was furious they hadn’t fought harder against the FBI. Instead, they allowed her to get away, knowing I had paid a quarter of a million to get her. Not knowing where she was at was driving me insane. She could be anywhere, with anyone. She didn’t belong to them. She belonged to me.

“Adam thinks he may have confirmation of a location.” I wanted to growl, punch something, even spill blood if need be. He thinks? He better hope it’s not just an assumption. Adam was my undercover spy, the man who could slip under the radar without being noticed by anyone.

“Does he now? Tell him to call me. I need to talk to him about said confirmation and be sure to warn him for me. If he is wrong, I will be forced to remove another finger from his hand.” I kept my voice cool. I refused to let the men that worked for me know the waiting game was getting the best of me.

But she is yours.

Those words ran through my mind daily, over and over again reminding me once again something promised to me had slipped right through my fingers.

“Will do, sir,” was Antonio’s response.

I shifted my attention to the men around me. They were getting ready to go out and do another manhunt for the girl. They all knew better than to question me about anything, let alone what the girl’s worth was to me
.
I had all my best men on this, looking for what was mine, and they wouldn’t sleep until I knew where she laid her head at night.

“It’s been weeks since I had a taste of good pussy. Monroe County ain’t got shit for women.” Oliver spoke to Stephen as if he were annoyed that he had to be here as if it was my fault he hadn’t found any prime pussy. I should’ve known when I took these two men on they would be nothing but trouble. Back home in Russia they were notorious bad boys.

“Excuse me…” My voice caused all conversations to heed as I turned and made my way over to Oliver. I could feel him quivering beneath me, and I hadn’t even spoken his name. As he should be quivering because I was more than his boss. I was his reason for breathing, his reason for living. Without me, he would be nothing. He owed me for everything he had, and he would worship the fucking ground I walked on until he died.

“Sir, I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way…” I cut him off with a slap to the face. My eyes drifted over the red mark on his face. I loved Oliver like one would love their own child, but I refused to allow him to speak in such a manner in front of me.

“Remember why you’re here, son. What it is that you’re doing for me. That’s what’s important, yeah? Not a good taste of pussy. Remember without a reason, without a placement you’re good as dead. Do you understand me?” I commanded him to answer me, my voice stern.

He murmured a yes into the air as I turned to face the rest of my men. “All of you remember that unless you dare go up against me.” I was losing my cool, all over this girl that I would make a woman.
My woman.

Thoughts of her continued to drift through my mind, forcing the moment she had been promised to me to come forth as bright as the day before me.

“The deal has been settled. Upon her twenty-first birthday, she will be presented to you as a gift, her virginity intact,” Sal announced with a slap on my back. I had never understood why Sal was involved in this business. He had a lovely bride and one-year-old daughter. He was a good-looking man, who worked out and ate healthily. He was exactly the opposite of what you would expect from someone in this business.

“You promise she is to be mine? That she is indeed pure and true?” I questioned further, not fully believing him. Sal had a less than stellar track record. Men had purchased from him before only to find out later on that their merchandise was not up to par.

He smiled. “Would I sell you anything less than perfection?”

My eyes narrowed on him. I had been fooled once by a man that sold me a bride. She was beautiful, elegant, and everything I had ever wanted in a woman, but she was broken, fractured straight down the middle, and she was far from untouched. I wouldn’t go down this road again and try to make something out of nothing. My new bride—she would be everything I was promised or I would take her life.

“She will be presented to you in excellent condition. No wrong doings will be done to her. However…” He paused for a moment as if he were re-evaluating his comment.

“It will cost you extra as I know the men will be in desperate need to unleash a little tension…” I could feel my blood boiling, the desire to end this fucker’s life. I had already paid more than half of what was expected of a normal buyer for my down payment and the first transport, and now he wanted more?

“Extra?” I cracked my knuckles watching his eyes grow large. Hadn’t he realized all that I was capable of doing?

A nervous laugh left his lips. “Well, you know how they can sometimes be. The extra money would be used for—” I cut him off.

“I don’t care what the extra money would be used for. That isn’t my concern. Your men and the fact they can’t keep their cocks out of the merchandise aren’t my problem. Now you, you’re—” My temper was on the verge of snapping.

“I meant no harm, truthfully.” He stuttered over his words as if he finally understood what I had to say.

“You didn’t… But I do,” I said sinisterly as I reached into the back of my pants, removing my gun. I lifted the barrel to his head and cocked it as my finger began to squeeze the trigger. There was no room for failure in this life. No room for telling someone what to do and allowing them to get away with not listening.

Sometimes you had to take someone else’s life into your own hands.

“Boss?” Antonio called my name as the last images of her I had seen disappeared from my mind.

“What?” I responded in aggravation, coming back to the present with a vengeance. The memory had only made me that much more eager to get my hands on her, to feel her softness beneath my hands, to break her down and make her my little slave as I built her back up.

“Adam has confirmation that she’s near French Island. He says his word is bond.” He spoke firmly, his voice less annoying to me now that he had information I could actually use.

A smile formed on my face, this was the best news yet. “Good. For his sake, I hope he is right. Call Wyatt. Let him know I have a location for him to check out. Oh, and that I need his
skills
to assist in finding my merchandise.”

Jared

Her body was
silhouetted in the moonlight, her hair sprawled out beneath her as she withered beneath me. God, she was beautiful I thought as her mouth parted open and a throaty moan filled the air.

“Jared, it’s only ever been you,” she whispered against my skin as if she were trying to tell me a secret.

“Give it to me,” she begged as I held myself above her. I hadn’t even touched her yet and she was on the verge of begging me.

“Are you sure?” I growled, barely able to get the question out. She nodded her head at me with so much desire in her eyes that I felt like we were already connected.

“Make love to me,” she purred.

“Jared.” Huh?

“Jared. We fell asleep on the couch.” Isabella’s sleep filled voice met my ears, causing me to sit up startled. After spending the day at the shooting range and having lunch together, we came home to relax and watch some TV. Apparently, it meant taking a nap, too. Even worse than all of this was the things I had been dreaming about.

“Jared,” Isabella said my name sternly. “Your phone’s ringing.” I turned my attention to her catching the look on her face. It all but said, is he right in the head? Hell, I didn’t even know if I was all here. Shaking my head as if to get the dream and the effect it had over my body out of my mind, I plucked my phone off the coffee table.

I sighed and watched Isabella disappear to give me privacy. Motherfucking Alzerro King the caller ID read. Rolling my eyes, I hit the green answer key.

“Sometimes I think you just like being a douche bag.” Those were the first words out of his mouth. Not a hello, how are you this fine evening—just straight to the point bullshit.

“Did you just call to insult me or what?” I asked annoyed, voice groggy with sleep. Had I known it was anything less than an emergency, I wouldn’t have answered. He had a life, a good one at that, he needed to worry less about me and focus more on his family.

“Not really. I actually called you because I have some intel and I needed to let you know. I also just felt like calling you. You know, making up for lost time.” I could hear the humor in his voice.

“Cut the bullshit, Alzerro. You know how I get about jokes and shit like that. I don’t have the time for this.” Of course, I was getting frustrated right off the bat. Between my day dreaming about Isabella and the fact I hadn’t fucked anyone in over a week, I was close to losing my shit on whoever might piss me off even the slightest bit.

“They know she’s here. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when they’re going to make an attack. Hell, at this moment, I’m not sure if they know your exact location or just the places you frequent but you need to be ready.” He went from funny and joking to serious and business-like so fast, I had gotten whiplash from the change in his attitude.

That was the thing about Agent King per se—you never knew if he was going to break your neck or cause you to bust your gut in laughter.

“She’s being cared for… and protected in the best way possible. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen. ” I kept my voice low, not wanting Isabella to overhear me. She was just in the other room after all.

“Good. These men don’t mess around Jared. They’ll kill you both before they let you leave with her. They’re as bad as I was in my prime days.” I snorted, covering my laughter.

“Yeah, before you started driving a minivan and toting Gia back and forth to ballerina class?” Radio silence formed on the other side of the line, which just caused another snort of laughter to escape.

“Asshole. That’s what you are. You don’t want anyone to joke with you, but yet you turn around and do it to someone else. You’re lucky.”

“Why is that?” I tested him, trying to get a rise out of him.

“Because if you weren’t my childhood friend and brother-in-law, I would’ve already had the barrel of my gun pressed against your skull.” Gun. That one word brought me back to the current situation, to the immediate danger that we were in. What he said caused something inside of me to wake up. It caused a reminder to go off inside my head. I was supposed to be protecting Isabella. They generally knew where she was, and if they knew that much, it wouldn’t take long for them to find out who she was with, pinpointing our exact location.

“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. Anything I feel you need to know, I’ll call you.” I hung up the phone, a sudden anger filling me.

Isabella was fragile, like glass. Her past was about to collide with my present, and I wondered if either of us would be able to walk away from this unscathed.

“Who was that?” she asked coming back into the living room. As she watched me curiously, I wondered if she could see through my ulterior motives. I tried to smile, to act unfazed, but I couldn’t. For a brief moment, I thought about lying to her but changed my mind knowing that she had the right to know what was taking place… After all, this was her life.

“Agent King. He wanted to check in on you.” Fuck. I was lying. Yet, there was no way for me to go about telling her that her life could be in danger. That today could be the final nail in her coffin.

She smiled softly. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. His wife, your sister, is nice, too, and Gia.” Her smile seemed to grow bigger. “She is so adorable. How blessed you are to have such a lovely family.”

There it was. The kick to the gut. The one that ruined it all for me and reminded me exactly why I shouldn’t have the feelings I was having. She wouldn’t understand what I was going through, not even if I told her or tried to explain it.

I allowed the air to grow thick with tension, not saying anything because honestly, what was I to say. Creases formed across her brow as she began to chew on her bottom lip. She was worried, concerned even.

“I didn’t mean it in an offensive way…” Her voice trailed off. I was past listening. I had allowed her to get under my skin. I had allowed her touch, smell, and even her taste to invade my mind, taking over the parts of my body that made all the logical choices.

When I was around her, I wasn’t myself. Or maybe the problem was I was myself and I just didn’t want to face it. The reasoning didn’t matter. All that did was making it stop.

“Aren’t you going to say something? Anything?” she stuttered, my mind having to catch up with her words as I drifted off into my own thoughts.

“What’s there to say?” My words came out stiff and defensive. It wasn’t her fault I was this way. I was caught at a crossroads. Either one that would kill me to cross or one that would become my saving grace.

I wanted to blame her, but something held me back and kept me from saying those small little words that would push her away because, in reality, I wanted her as close as I could get her—even if it meant her body under mine and her breaths meeting my own.

“You could tell me that you’re okay. That whatever Alzerro called you for wasn’t bad. That when you kissed me
earlier it actually meant something to you.” Her hands were on her hips. Her nose was scrunched up in a way that said she was about to lose her shit on me. A smile pulled at my lips. She looked so adorable when she was angry. Then it hit me. What she had said, the kiss...

“The kiss?” I questioned acting as if I didn’t even remember it taking place. Which was the biggest lie on the face of the planet. Out of the two times our lips had met, I remembered both as vividly as if I had just removed my lips from hers. Shake it off. She’s getting to you. The warning was clear, but for some reason, I refused to say something that would break her heart.

“Yeah, the one where your lips met mine. The one where you made me feel this strange feeling in my belly.” She looked at me as if she had accidently slipped the last part out without thinking.

Fuck. Feelings were becoming involved. “Isabella…” I paused attempting to go about this as easily as possible.

“Don’t you dare say it was nothing to you! I felt it. It felt like for the first time in your life you were alive.” She had an eagerness to prove me wrong in her eyes and that just stoked the already burning fire inside of me.

“It was nothing though. At least for me.” I stood, getting up from the couch to stand in front of her. I wanted to prove to her that whatever she thought was happening between us wasn’t.

“You’re a woman, I am a man. Naturally, we’re attracted to one another. That’s all this is. There are no hidden feelings underneath it all. If you’re trying to fix me, or come up with a solution, you should give up now. There is a long line of women who have been trying to do that for months now, some even years.” God, I was an asshole.

“You’re a liar…” She barely got out. I could see the hurt in her eyes, the hardness growing around her heart. Is that what I looked like when they told me my mother had died? I shook my head pushing the thoughts away.

“No, I’m not. You just don’t know the difference between a man who wants to get his dick wet and a man who wants to give you his heart. You’re naïve, sweet Isabella, and I was just making your life easier for you.”

Tears leaked from the sides of her eyes, penetrating my soul.

“You know what, Jared? You have the potential to love someone far greater than anyone does. It’s just that you’re so afraid of letting someone in. So afraid of feeling anything different from what you currently feel.” Her words were laced with pain as they struck me hard upon the chest.

“You know nothing but heartache, sadness, and pain. But you know what the ugly thing about it all is? You think you deserve it.”

I clenched my fists, she had no fucking clue how close to home she was hitting. My chest ached as pain seared through it. Her words were like a fucking belt lashing against my heart. She was so right, and I was so not ready to admit it.

“I deserve whatever shit God decides to give me. You know nothing about me, only the things I have allowed you to see, and even then, you only know and feel what I want you to know or feel. So don’t act like you fucking know me, because you don’t and you never will,” I gritted through my clenched teeth.

“Don’t push me away…” She sounded defeated, and I was so angry and hurt that I couldn’t even look at her.

“In order to push you away, you would’ve had to be close to me to begin with. I’m just doing you a favor.” The truth was I was pushing her away, doing what I had wanted to all along. But this time, my heart was breaking right along with hers. The hate falling from my lips burned me more than it did her. She was worthy of more, better… She needed someone to care for her and this exchange of words proved just how wrong I was for being that person to do it.

I could feel her eyes on me for a few more seconds before her footfalls met my ears. She was walking away, leaving. As she should.

She didn’t deserve this.

Only I did.