A King's Betrayal (36 page)

She could hardly expect it.  Even if he kept her here he would not wish to wed her.  Beth felt a pang of loss.  She had begun to like William and to enjoy the life that might have been hers here in the castle, but her instincts told her that his pride would make him reject her.

It might be best to just slip away without telling him anything.

William stood at the window of his solar, looking down at the activity in the courtyard below.  Men were at their work, some training, others cleaning harness and tack, or sharpening their weapons, still others busy at their craft.  From the blacksmith to the cooper the craftsmen came each day to the castle plying their trade in the forge and the little workshops that made the castle a thriving community. The cooper made barrels for the lord’s ale, which was brewed in the brew house; the farrier cared for the lord’s horses and those of his men; the baker provided bread for the large household; the masons were constantly employed keeping the walls in good repair, and the carpenter was busy from dawn to dusk.  The old feudal law where men worked two or three days a week for his lord was no longer enforced, though some still preferred the benefits they received in goods rather than coin for their labour.  Even though it was possible for a peasant to increase his land holding these days, or set up in a trade for himself, every man knew his place and most did not look above it.  William was lord, the others came to serve him and to earn their bread.  In the towns it might be different, for the guilds and aldermen had gained great power, especially in the borough towns, but here in the country it was the order of things; the way life had been for centuries.

             
‘Damn her!’  William swore aloud without realising it.  ‘I am such a fool.’

             
He had thought to take a woman who came from the woods as his bride.  William had been ready to lay the world and all he owned at her feet, because he loved her, but she had deceived him – made a fool of him.  Mistress Grey had known the child was not his.  If the child had been his it must have been conceived in spring 1413 and this was late autumn 1415.  He could not recall the exact day he’d lain with Beth but it was many months.  If her child was only a few weeks it had been conceived in the spring of the previous year at the earliest.

             
‘Why did she deceive me?  Why let me believe the child was mine?’ Once again he had spoken aloud without realising it.

             
‘Because she is a witch and a whore,’ Anne Redfern said from behind him.  ‘Why should she tell you the truth when she knew you were fool enough to offer to wed her?  If you want her take her.  There is no need to offer a woman like that marriage.  She is not fit to work in your kitchens.  Marry her now and everyone will laugh at you behind your back.’

             
‘Be silent woman,’ William glared at her, but her words had touched him on the raw.  Beth had made a fool of him and he was angry…hurt…and yet he knew deep inside him that he did not want to lose her.  She had smiled and said she would be content to wed him – but would she play him false? Would she meet her lover in secret and laugh behind his back? He was a proud man and the thought struck at his pride.

             
‘Take what you want of the bitch and send her away,’ Anne said with a vicious twist of her mouth.  ‘She is pretty I grant you that but she is a slut and ignorant.  If you need a wife Ruth would be all you could desire.  She would bear your children and order your house as it should be – and she would not lie with another behind your back.’

             
‘Shut your mouth, cousin, or I shall shut it for you,’ William warned.  ‘Ruth is a good woman and I honour her – but Beth is the only woman I want.’

             
He brushed past Anne roughly and left the solar.  He did not look back, missing the malicious glare she sent at him as he strode away.  William was no fool.  He knew he’d had no right to command Beth’s loyalty after what he’d done to her – but she was firmly embedded in his heart and the thought of her lying with another struck him like a dagger.  He still wanted her.  He could never send her away, because without him she would be at the mercy of women like Anne Redfern.  It was a pity he’d brought his cousin here.  Ruth was gentle and kind but her mother was an evil viper.

             
He still wanted Beth but he was hurt and angry.  He needed an explanation!

Beth had risen and dressed in the silk gown that Mistress Soames had given her, which Ruth had dried and cleansed for her, though it was torn in two places.  She could not expect that William would wed her now.  He would hate her for deceiving him.  If she stayed he would use her as a whore, as he had the first time they met, and she did not wish to see the disappointment and hurt in his eyes.  Much better to leave now without revealing the truth, which would hurt him more.  Ruth had offered to leave with her, but Beth knew she would find life too hard without the comforts she took for granted.  Beth had already begun to appreciate a warm fire and the good food at William’s table.  Life on the road would be hard for her, but Ruth would sicken and die.

             
Beth would take nothing Sir William had given her, because that would be stealing.  She would go to her cottage, collect what she could carry and let Mistress Soames take what she wanted from the rest.  Glancing round the chamber William had given her, Beth smothered a sigh.  She might have been happy here had things been different.

             
‘What are you doing?’  William’s voice startled her.  She spun round guiltily.  His eyes were cold and angry as they swept over her.  ‘Why are you wearing that dress?’

             
‘I must look for my child.’

             
‘You were leaving?’  His gaze narrowed.  ‘Did you intend to tell me – or simply leave me without a word?’

             
‘I thought it best.  I have hurt you, though ‘twas not my intention.  I know you will not wish to wed me – and I must search for my daughter.’

             
‘I told you, the child was found.’

             
‘Ruth said the body had begun to rot.  Katharine has been missing but a few days – besides, I know it was not her body.  Her hair was pale like moonlight not dark.’  She drew a deep breath.  ‘I feel in my heart that she still lives.  You will not wish to search for a child that is not yours and I cannot rest until I know the truth.  I must find my child.’

             
‘So you would leave me without a word.’  William’s mouth tightened with anger.  ‘What were you taking with you?  The gold chain I gave you?’

             
‘I have taken nothing.  The chain lies there with the gown you sent me…’ Beth raised her head proudly.  ‘I took food to live from your woods but I am not a thief – nor am I a whore, despite what folk say of me.’

             
William took a step towards her.  He reached out, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her.  ‘Whose child was she?  Tell me the truth.  Was it one of the village men?  Did he pay you – or did he force you?’

             
‘It was not one of the village men and I was not forced.’  Tears stung her eyes as she saw the nerve flicking at his temple and knew he was both hurt and angry.  ‘He came one night as I bathed in the pool and we played like children.  What happened was like a dream – an enchanted dream.  In the morning he had gone and he did not come again.  He was a knight but I do not know his name.’

             
‘Liar!’  William’s fingers bit into her flesh as he shook her again.  ‘Did you love him or did he pay you?  I would have given you everything I had – but you are a faithless whore.’

             
‘No, William.  I swore no oath to you,’ Beth said with quiet dignity.  ‘I was grateful for your help with Marthe that day but I made no promise to you – until I came here.  Had you wed me I would have been faithful to you, but I know you must hate me now.’

             
‘I should hate you.  You are a lying scheming bitch…’ Beth turned her face aside with a cry of distress.  Wrenching back from his grasp, she tried to brush past him but he grabbed her wrist holding her fast.  ‘Where do you think you are going?  I have not done with you.’

             
Looking up at him, Beth was alarmed as she saw the queer blind look in his eyes and knew that he was beside himself with hurt and anger.  He was as he had been at the cottage the day he raped her and she was suddenly afraid.

             
‘No, please,’ she whispered and tried to pull free of him.  ‘Let me go, William.  Do not do this, I beg you.  You were sorry before…sorry that you hurt me.’

             
‘I should have hurt you more,’ he muttered.  ‘I should have brought you here whether you wished it or no.  You are a wanton slut and you deserve to be treated as a whore.  I would have wed you but now I shall keep you as my whore.  You will do as I want or you will go hungry.  You will learn to please me and beg for favours on your knees.’

             
‘Let me go,’ Beth wept as he suddenly swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.  ‘I beg you to let me go.  I am sorry I hurt you.  I did not mean to deceive you but it was too difficult to tell you the truth.’

             
William was not listening.  He flung her down on the bed and fell on top of her.  His greedy mouth was on hers, his tongue pushing inside her mouth.  Beth struggled, pushing at him as she fought to free herself of his weight.  He held her with one hand while he parted her thighs with the other and then untied his breeches.  She felt his heat and the smooth hardness of his male organ against her inner thigh and she pushed hard at his shoulders.

             
‘If you do this I shall hate you.  I had begun to like you, even care for you – but if you rape me I shall hate you until the day I die.’

             
‘You are mine and I shall have you when I want you – whenever I want you.’

             
‘No!  Please let me go.  I beg you.’

             
William was not listening.  Lost in his bitter thoughts and heated with desire, he sought her soft moistness and thrust his finger inside her.  For a moment he rubbed frantically at her nub, then he lifted himself and thrust into her.  Beth was not wet but she had born a child and his entry caused her less pain than the first time he’d raped her.  At first she tried to thrust him away but he slapped her, bringing tears to her eyes.  She lay still then and let him have his way, knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop him.  The humiliation and mental hurt was more painful than the physical pain, shaming her and making her feel she wished to die.

             
When William had done with her he rolled away.  Then in another moment he had left the bed.  Her eyes were closed but she knew that he stood looking down at her.

             
‘You will hate me now,’ he said in a voice filled with pain and self-loathing.  ‘I shall marry you, Beth, no matter what others say.  Perhaps one day you will forgive me again.  I love you.  I cannot let you go.’

             
Beth rolled over on the bed and put her feet to the floor.  She looked at him, her eyes misted with the tears she could not hold back.

             
‘I shall not stop with you now,’ she said.  ‘I would have wed you and been a good wife to you for I did like you – but you have killed any feeling I had for you.  I am leaving and you cannot hold me.’

             
‘No!’ he cried, pleading and anger mixed as he grabbed hold of her arm.  ‘Forgive me, Beth.  I love you.  You haunt my dreams and I am never free of you.  If you go I shall be only half alive.’

             
‘You destroyed what we might have had,’ she said and began to walk past him.  ‘I must look for my child.’

             
‘You shall not go!’

             
William grabbed at her arm.  Beth gave a cry of fear and reached for the iron chamber-stick standing on the coffer close to her right hand.  Her fingers closed about it.  She lifted her arm and struck at his face, the metal cutting him above his eyebrow.  It was a glancing blow but for some reason it sent him off balance and he fell, hitting his head against an iron sconce on the wall.  He made a small sound of pain and fell to the floor like a stone.

             
He looked pale and still.  Had she killed him?  Beth’s heart stood still as she bent over him and touched his face.

             
‘William…’

             
‘What have you done?’

             
Beth glanced round and saw Ruth staring at her in horror.  ‘We struggled and I hit him with the chamber-stick,’ she said, feeling sick.  ‘It was not enough to hurt him but he fell and hit his head against the iron sconce.  I – is he dead?’

             
Ruth bent down and placed two fingers to his throat.  She shook her head and looked up at Beth.

             
‘He lives but he may die of such an injury.  There is blood seeping from the back of his head.’

             
‘They will hang me,’ Beth said, a hand going to her throat.  ‘He saved me from the mob but now they will hang me.’

             
‘Not if you go quickly,’ Ruth said.  ‘Here, take my cloak and basket.  I was going to the village for there is a fair in the meadow.  I have a few silver pennies in my purse.  It is not much but it may help you on your way.’