A Kiss of Magic: A Kiss of Magic Book One (12 page)

“Why must we talk about me?” Yasra asked.

“Because I already know everything there is to know about this lot. Go on. Tell us something.”

“I like to read,” she blurted out, then felt silly for it.

“Indeed she does. She raided my library first thing. I had noticed some interesting volumes in her home,” Dendri said.

“You did?” she asked. She had not even thought he had had time to notice something like that.

“I did. Werthal’s Practicum. Linno’s Encyclopedia. Both are rare volumes.”

Yasra smiled. He truly had been paying attention. It made her relax to think his actions had not been so focused that he hadn’t noticed anything about her.

“Bess, what do you do? What house of majic are you from?” Olla asked.

Bess paled. “I…I…I…” she stammered.

“Bess is a non. We are the very best of friends,” Yasra said strongly. She would not have Bess thinking she was somehow less compared to the company she was keeping in the moment. Bess’s eyes softened with love and Yasra felt it keenly. She loved Bess as well. She would tell the whole world if that’s what it took to make her friend feel it.

“I’m a housemaid,” Bess said in a small voice just the same. “I’m Yasra’s housemaid.”

“Oh. Well I guess that’s okay,” Olla said, her smile seeming to be disingenuous. Yasra frowned, but she was forced to let the slight slide when the next course of food was served. It was hard not to eat, the food really looked and smelled so appealing, but Yasra’s discomfort colored the taste of it. Her head was spinning and she did not know in what direction to think.

Fortunately, Wil was not lacking in things to talk or joke about. He told stories about Dendri, somehow managing to make him seem a little more human, yet taking nothing away from the powerful man she was coming to know. The rest of the dinner flew by after that and before she knew it she was putting her dessert fork down. They all got up and moved into the library, the elegant Olla and the pixyish Myra strolling the room and looking at the books. Wil and Jory sat down with Dendri and enjoyed some glasses of port. Bess and Yasra perched side by side on one of the couches, looking like two birds ready to fly away at the slightest provocation. Yasra listened to Wil talk, Jory occasionally getting a word in edgewise. But mostly she watched Dendri, watched him at ease with his friends, watched him chuckle when Wil made fun of him. For all her confusing feelings of the past hour, she couldn’t escape how much she liked him. And when she thought of the fire he burned across her body, she flushed and went warm all over in memory.

She knew she was projecting her thoughts the moment he stopped mid-sentence and looked over at her. She saw intensity darken his eyes and she knew she was affecting him just as he affected her. She quickly looked away from him and imagined the dome over her thoughts as rapidly as she could. It wasn’t so much that she wanted to keep him out, she knew he could see into her easily if he wanted to, but she didn’t want anyone else to hear the sizzling thoughts that entered both their minds whenever they looked at one another too long. Olla was an Aspano majji. She might easily pick up on the by-play, and then how embarrassed she would be!

“Yasra,” Olla spoke up suddenly, almost as if she had known she was being thought of in that moment. “Come here and look at this compendium with me. I think a mind like yours, so fascinated with books, would really enjoy it.”

“I’m afraid it’s beyond me,” Myra said, walking away as Yasra got up and went to stand beside Olla. The book was
Bartho’s Necromay Compendium
and Yasra brightened when she saw it.

“I had not seen this one yet.”

“Dearest, I don’t really care about the book,” Olla said as she took the book off the shelf and opened it, thumbing through the pages. “But I do care about Dendri,” she said, meeting Yasra’s eyes. “I care a great deal. He and I are…well, as a lady I shouldn’t speak of these things, but I am sure you can fill in the blanks. Dendri is a masterful lover and he requires a strong woman both in majic and in backbone to compliment him. He has his passing fancies as any man does, but his attention turns away as quickly as it arrived. Just because you are Gestalt does not mean you have unending and proprietary rights to the man.

“Sure, he feels responsible for you at the moment, but as he said, that will change as you grow stronger. Once you are no longer draining his resources and power like a parasite, he will wish to have his freedom returned to him. You are today’s new plaything…tomorrow’s old toy. I know Dendri. Nothing holds his attention long when it comes to women. In the end he always returns to me.

“Now, now, don’t be upset. I don’t tell you this to be cruel. In fact, just the opposite. I mean to put you on your guard. A sweet girl like you…Dendri will devour you, chew you up and spit you out like a dog with a bone. Once the bone loses flavor he moves on to other things. Do not let yourself grow too attached. Being Gestalt does not guarantee you love and fidelity. You seem to be the sort that would desire those things in a mate.

“Never mind. Take your book and sit down before you fall over. It wouldn’t do to look silly in front of everyone now would it?”

Olla closed the book with a snap, pushed into Yas’s numb arms then turned her and gave her a little push back toward the center of the room. Yasra walked toward Bess on automatic feet, the whirl of sour thoughts in her head making her sick to her stomach. She desperately did not want to project her emotions to Dendri, so she focused on keeping her dome firmly in place.

Olla was Dendri’s friend. If anyone knew about him, it would be his friends. Or his lovers. Olla had pretty much said outright that she and Dendri were acquainted on that intimate level. Had the girl meant to be mean and spiteful? Did she already know what Yasra and Dendri had done so far? The woman was a high level Aspano. While she could not read Dendri, it would be nothing at all for her to read a novice like Yasra.

Yasra burned with embarrassment. Her private liaisons with Dendri should have been just that…private. But Dendri had warned her there would be unscrupulous people out there who would not respect the privacy of her thoughts. But she had not expected it to happen right there, under Dendri’s roof! By one of his friends. Hadn’t Dendri led her to believe that these people could be trusted? That they had passed muster with him? Was it possible he could not read another Aspano of such a high level and therefore did not know her as well? Had he not said she was something of a mystery to him? But if he did know Olla for what she really was, then she must be someone worth believing.

She had said Yasra was nothing more than a passing fancy. Something new and fresh that he would tire of once the bloom was rubbed off. Once she grew old and used to him. Olla meant to put her on her guard to protect her. What else could be her reasoning for saying such things to her?

She sat down beside Bess, clutching the book to her chest as though it could somehow comfort her.

Well what did she think was happening? That Dendri was thinking of having some great romance with her? That he was going to sweep her off her feet and they would live happily together until the end of time? She wasn’t even sure she believed in that. She wasn’t even sure if that was something she wanted for herself.

But just the same her intimacies with Dendri were now somehow tarnished. She was looking upon the memory of them with a colder and more critical eye. Was she a passing fancy for him? Did she mind if she was? She was a grown woman. Her appetites may not be sophisticated or even experienced, but she could decide for herself what she wanted. Did she want Dendri Adiron on his terms?

What about her terms? What were her terms? What exactly was she expecting to become of all this?

She didn’t know. She was exhausted and confused. She wanted to be alone with Bess so she could talk to her friend and get her opinion on the matter.

She sat quietly, listening to the others chatter and talk. Even Bess was coming out of her shell and joining in on the conversations or teasing. She told a funny story about the time Yasra mistook burliegh root for robespear in a hair rinse and accidentally turned Bess’s hair blue.

“It took ages for it to wash out, didn’t it Yas?”

“Yes, it did,” Yasra said quietly.

Yasra felt the brooding weight of Dendri’s gaze on her then and she looked away from him. She hoped he truly did respect the privacy of her thoughts as he said he would. She needed time to sort through all of her thoughts before approaching him with them.

“It’s getting late,” he said suddenly, still not taking his eyes from her. “I suspect we are all tired from the long day.”

“Very true,” Wil said with an exaggerated stretch. “I turned into a flamingo today just to see what it would feel like and grew tired of standing on one leg…never mind being pink and feathered.”

Myra laughed. “Leave it to you to change form ‘just because’.”

“I was also testing out the landscaping I had grown for a very large client…whose name you will have to guess at. Needless to say, he likes very vast lawns. And a hedge maze. Growing well-manicured hedge mazes are no simple parlor trick!”

“As you have said on many previous occasions,” Jory said with a chuckle.

The friends said farewell in the foyer before the door and Tudman shut the door in their wake.

“Your friends are very nice,” Bess said to Dendri with a smile.

“And what did you make of my friends?” he asked Yasra.

Yasra took a moment to think of her reply.

“Very informative. I feel I know you better now that I have seen you through their eyes.”

“Hmm. I am not certain how I should take that. Wil is a very irreverent reflection on me.”

“I like Wil. He has no artifice to him,” Yasra said. “He seems honest.”

“He is. And that is one of the reasons why I call him my best friend. He is to me what Bess is to you.”

“Then you are very lucky,” Yasra said. “Everyone would be fortunate to have a friend as true as Bess is to me.”

Bess blushed under the compliment and reached out to envelop Yasra in a tight hug.

“Come Bess,” Yasra said, picking up Bess’s hand. “let’s go to bed.”

She cast a sideways glance at Dendri, reading his expression. Her message to him was clear. Would he accept it?

His sharply green eyes narrowed briefly, but then a small smile twitched at his lips.

“Go on. I will see you in the morning,” he said, his eyes full of unspoken promises. Yasra shivered in her own skin. Whatever else she thought of him, there was no mistaking the power of Dendri’s magnetism. Even though her mind was a jumble of confusion about him and his intentions, a visceral part of her was connected to him undeniably.

Yasra hurried Bess off to bed.

Chapter Ten

“She’s a bitter, evil woman,” Bess said definitively. “She wants Dendri for herself and has said all of that to discourage you. She sees that Dendri wants you and is pea green with jealousy.”

“But she’s such a beautiful, successful and powerful majji. She could have anyone she wanted. I’m certain she wasn’t lying. That she and Dendri have been lovers.”

“She never came out and said as much. She implied it, from what you’ve said,” Bess said. “And so what if they were? You both have had lovers before this. Did you think he was a virgin?” she asked teasingly.

Yasra blushed. “No, of course not.” Yasra pulled her nightgown on over her head. It was a simple floor-length white cotton gown with sleeves to the wrists and a high lace collar. Bess’s nightdress was just as demure. They looked like twin white ghosts as they hurried into bed together and huddled beneath the covers against the chilly autumn night. The newly lit fire was built up, but it wasn’t warming the room up yet. The women snuggled down together and put their cold feet against one another with shivers and giggles.

“You need to ignore what Olla said,” Bess said.

“How can I?” Yasra asked. “She’s supposed to be one of his closest friends.”

“I suspect that Wil is more of a friend to Dendri than his sister is. It’s almost as though she comes with the package. From what I heard, Dendri doesn’t go out of his way to spend time with Olla and Myra so much as he does Wil and Jory.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Just listening to the stories they told. Jory and Wil seemed to know him best and they had more anecdotes than the women did.”

“I didn’t notice.”

“Is it any wonder? You were upset by what Olla said. Listen,” Bess said, making sure to meet Yasra’s eyes directly, “you are just scared. You are looking for reasons to run away and hide. It’s easier to run away than it is to face your challenges.”

Yasra frowned. “I’m not hiding or running away.”

“Aren’t you? You’re looking for reasons to push Dendri away. Olla is just giving you the reasons you are looking for, whether they are true or not. Don’t you think you owe it to Dendri to give him the benefit of the doubt? Doesn’t he deserve as much of a chance to get to know you as anyone else does?”

“The problem with that,” Yasra said with a sigh, “is that I don’t usually let people get to know me. There’s a reason why you’re my only friend.”

“Because I’m the only one who will put up with your goosey quirks,” Bess said with a grin.

“Yes. That and more. I…I don’t trust people very easily. Especially majji. Growing up in my parents’ house I got to know those people very well. All of the backbiting and backstabbing, the cold constant competitiveness. It’s always about who has the most power. You admire those in power to their faces, cut them with your contempt once they aren’t in the room to hear you. Bess…I spent so much time longing for majic…I never took the time to realize what it would mean once I got here. I forgot how much I hate these people.”

“Not all of them are like your parents. It’s not fair to judge them based on the kind of people your parents were surrounded by. Dendri is a very nice man. Wil is wonderful and charming. Jory and Myra were kind and pleasant. Olla is the only one we can take exception to. One out of five.”

“I suppose. But maybe Dendri is just being nice because of the Gestalt between us. Maybe he’s going to change once he has all of the power he wants at his fingertips. What if I find myself forever attached to a man like the one Olla described?”

“What if he’s the kindest, gentlest man around, who gives you the respect you deserve and will nurture you and care for you throughout your development?” Bess countered.

“You are scared to death of majji, Bess. What makes you want to encourage me into a world that terrifies you as much as it does me?”

Bess thought about that a moment. “I’m afraid of majji because I think they will see me as less. And I guess I am less. Their power frightens me, since there’s nothing I can do to stop them from using it against me if they happen to decide to do so. But…I’m not afraid of Dendri. I don’t know why exactly. Something about him…I just feel at ease around him. At first he scared the hell out of me, but now that I know him better, I’m not so scared anymore.”

“There has to be a reason you feel that way,” Yasra said with a furrow to her brow.

“There is,” Bess said with a nod.

“Oh?”

“Yes.” She gave Yasra a winning smile. “He let me bring Bicky here.”

“Oh Bess,” Yasra chuckled.

“It’s true. He didn’t have to do it. Here we are, invading every part of his life. Have you stopped to think about how his life must have been before we came along? Living here all alone, a bachelor’s existence. But how easily he discarded it to help care for us. To help protect us. To protect
you
.”

“I had thought about it. I didn’t understand why he did it until tonight at dinner. But is he protecting me for my interests or his own? If something happens to me, he will lose access to all the potential power I represent for him.”

“Oh Yas. You’re so jaded when it comes to majic.”

Yasra didn’t counter the observation. She knew Bess was right. But she didn’t know how to not feel the way she did. She had a lifetime of experiences with majji to go by. Growing up in her parents’ house, she couldn’t remember a single person she had liked. That she had thought of as kind and good.

“It’s all right,” Bess said as she reached to pet her hair soothingly. “Just promise me you’ll give him a fair chance.”

“I am. I will,” Yasra said.

And she meant it. She would try and be as fair as possible. But unlike Bess she wasn't willing to disregard all Olla had said entirely. She would keep her guard up. She would safeguard her emotions and her trust.

It was the best she could do.

The next morning Yasra awoke before Bess and slipped out from beneath Bicky and the covers. She gave Bicky a scratch where she had learned from their brief connection she enjoyed it most. It made her smile. Even if nothing else good came of this, at least she would know that much about Bicky. It was a silly thought, but she allowed it.

She dressed, firmly choosing black breeches and a blouse of soft white cotton. She slipped her feet into her ankle boots and laced them up quickly. Then she hurried out of the room. She was determined to go for a morning walk, to break free of the feeling that she was cloistered inside the walls of Dendri’s home. She knew it wasn't fair to feel trapped, that she had only been there a short while…too short to start getting cabin fever. But she wanted a little freedom.

It was very early, but not too early for the servants to be up and going about their usual morning routines. She got Tudman to open the door and went through the portal, ignoring his look of worry. If it could be called that. The butler was inscrutable for most of the time, but she got the sense that he felt uneasy about letting her out of the house.

Well that was just too bad. She wasn't a prisoner. Dendri himself had said so. So she walked down the long drive at a rapid pace, following the path of crushed rocks down deep into the rolling landscape of the property. She left the path after a while when she hit the edge of the woods and followed the tree line for quite a distance. She had not realized just how far she had gone until she found herself coming over the rise and stepping into the apple orchard she had only briefly seen during their tour of the property.

The ground was littered with fallen apples and bushel baskets half full of apples. Clearly someone had been out picking the last apples of the season. There was a great variety. Some green, some red, some pink. She smiled. She remembered when she was young their non cook giving her toast with pink apple jelly on it whenever she was feeling blue. Her name had been Hana. When she thought of it, she realized she remembered the names of every non who had ever worked for her parents. The same could not be said for the majji who had been friends with her parents. The only ones she did remember were the ones who had cut her in some way. With disapproving looks or outright derogatory comments about her lack of power.

You’re an embarrassment to your parents
, one had said to her once.
You could at least
try
to have the smallest bit of majical talent.
As if she had had some kind of control of it all. As if she had not longed to somehow live up to her parents’ expectations.

As if she had not longed for their approval with all her heart.

Tears stung behind her eyes as she realized this. That all this time she had spent being angry with her parents it had not been because of the way they treated her, but the way they hadn’t treated her. She was angry with herself for wanting the approval of such selfish people.

For still wanting it.

She swallowed back her tears and walked slowly through the orchard, stepping over the bumpy carpet of apples. She would not think about her parents. No good ever came of it. Dendri had put them firmly out of her sphere for the time being. She would have to face them eventually, but for now, she would enjoy a life free of them. She would learn about her majic in her own way and at her own pace, with no pressure from them or anyone else.

She realized then that that was one thing Dendri had never done. He had never pressured her to perform. Encouraged, yes. Demanded, no. He had been very gentle with her. The only thing he had demanded of her was…

She blushed as she remembered the feel of his hands on her body. Of the way he had made her respond to his touch. He made it all feel so easy, as though she had been just that responsive all of her life.

She took a deep breath in. Everything was so jumbled up inside of her, and the closer he got to her the harder it was for her to sort through everything. How was she supposed to think clearly when she was right within his reach at every moment?

But where else could she go? He had made her realize last night the danger she could potentially be in. Now that she thought about it, now that she recalled the way majji in her parents sphere had tried constantly to tear each other down, she felt foolish for not realizing there could be a potential for danger in becoming part of a Gestalt pair. But should she just stay there and let Dendri protect her? What of his life? This had been the last thing he had been expecting. Surely he would want the freedoms he had had before all of this to be returned to him. And what of what Olla had said? Was she merely the flavor of the moment to him?

What she had to do was base her relationship with him on the idea that she was, indeed, the current novelty in his life. That he would enjoy her and probably tire of her just as quickly. If she went into it with her eyes wide open to the possibility she would not get hurt in the process.

She left the orchard and paused a moment to look toward the rising sun. She drew a deep breath.

Yes. That was what she would do. She would enjoy him as if he would be just as easily gone the next day. That way when he did leave it wouldn’t be such a shock to her. That would open her up to all the possibilities and none of the hurt.

She turned back toward the house and began the long walk back, feeling that she at least had one thing settled in her mind. Whatever else came, she would be able to keep Dendri at a safe distance from her emotions. She could enter this relationship just as temporarily as he would. That way when he left…

Yasra ignored the twinge that came with that thought. No. She could be an adult woman about this. She wasn't a child. Besides, she had never been a romantic. She had never thought there was any such thing as true commitment and love. Not as a man loves a woman. She felt the love of friendship for Bess and didn’t know what she would do without her, but that was the most she believed in. Even that, she knew, was a rare occurrence. It had taken a great deal of time and attention to create the bond that she shared with Bess. And a great deal of reciprocal feeling.

She would be very lucky if she and Dendri ever reached the point of casual friendship. She still didn’t know him very well as yet. Unlike Bess, she was not willing to make snap judgments based on just a few days’ behavior.

The house came into view and she walked up the drive. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a man stepped into her path. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t even seen him approaching her.

“Easy Miss,” he said, holding out his hands to catch her by her arms when she stumbled.

”Who…?” she asked dumbly.

“No need to worry Miss. I’m just one of the Padoni guards here on the property. I was just coming to check and see who as walking hereabouts.”

“Oh. I see. I was just clearing my head.”

“I’m sure you feel the need. It’s no small thing what’s happened to you,” he said with a congenial smile. “Honestly, if it were me, I don’t know how I’d cope. I don’t envy you.”

“You don’t?” she asked. “The way Dendri makes it sound everyone will envy us.”

“Most will I expect. Majji and nons alike. He’s not wrong to want to protect you. But you’ve nothing to fear as long as we’re here.”

“Thank you,” she said. She held out her hand and he took it. “And you are…?”

“Axen. Kio Axen. You can call me Kio. And if you ever need me all you have to do is tear up something by the roots. I’ll feel it immediately and I’ll know exactly where you are. All right?”