A Knight in Shining Armour (63 page)

She made it, without being seen, back to the tour just as the group was in the last room.

“And here we have the lace display,” the guide was saying. “Most of the lace is Victorian, but we do have a very special piece of lace from the sixteenth century.”

Dougless gave the guide all of her attention.

“It seems that although Lord Nicholas Stafford of the sixteenth century never married, there was a mysterious woman in his past. On his deathbed he asked to be buried with this piece of lace, but there was some confusion and Lord Nicholas went to his grave without the lace. His son, James, said the lace was always to be kept in a place of honor in the family, since it had meant so much to his beloved father.”

Dougless had to wait for the other tourists to move before she could see into the case. There, under glass, yellowed now and wornlooking, was the lace cuff Honoria had been making for her. The name
Dougless
was worked into it.

“‘Dougless’?” a tourist said, laughing. “That’s a man’s name. Maybe ol’ Nick didn’t marry because he was a little”—he waved his hand—“you know.”

Dougless spoke before the guide could. “For your information, ‘Dougless’ was a woman’s name in the sixteenth century, and I can assure you that Lord Nicholas Stafford was
not
a little”—she glared at him— “‘you know.’” Storming past him, she left the house.

She walked into the gardens, and while other tourists exclaimed over their beauty, Dougless thought they looked messy and neglected. She went to a quiet corner, sat on a bench, then took the package from her pocket.

Slowly, she unwrapped it. Touching the waxed cloth bindings that had last been touched by Nicholas so long ago, made her fingers tremble.

The miniature portrait of Nicholas came to light, as rich and bright as the day it had been painted. “Nicholas,” she whispered as she put her fingertips on the painting. “Oh, Nicholas, have I truly lost you completely? Are you gone from me forever?”

She looked at the miniature, touched it, and when she turned it over, she saw something engraved on the back. Holding it up to the light, she read the inscription.

Time has no meaning

Love will endure

He had signed it with an
N,
a
D
over the top of it.

Leaning back against the old stone wall, she blinked away tears. “Nicholas, come back to me,” she whispered. “Please come back to me.”

She sat there for a long time before she rose. She’d missed lunch, so she went to the tea shop and sat down with a plate of scones and a pot of strong black tea. She’d bought a guidebook at Bellwood and one at Thornwyck, and as she ate and drank, she read.

With every word she read, she told herself that what had happened had been worth the pain of losing the man she loved. What did the love between two people matter when, by giving up their love, they had changed history? Kit had lived, Lady Margaret had lived, James had lived—and Nicholas had lived. And with their lives, the family honor had been saved, so that today a Stafford was a duke and part of the royal family.

Against all that, what did one piddling little love affair mean?

She left the tea shop and walked to the train station. She could go home now, she thought, home to America, home to her family. No more would she be an outsider, and never again would she have to pretend to be someone she was not.

On the train ride back to Ashburton, she told herself that she should be jubilant. She and Nicholas had accomplished so much. How many other people had had the good fortune to be able to change history? Yet Dougless had been given that opportunity. Through her efforts the Stafford family was doing well. There were beautiful buildings standing because she had encouraged Nicholas to use his talent for designing. There were . . .

Her thoughts trailed off. It was no use telling herself what she
should
feel, because what she did feel was miserable.

In Ashburton she slowly walked back to the hotel. She’d need to call the airlines and make reservations.

In the lobby, Robert and Gloria were waiting for her. At the moment she didn’t think she could handle a confrontation. She hardly looked at Robert. “I’ll get the bracelet,” she said, then turned away before he could speak.

Catching her arm, he halted her. “Dougless, could we talk?”

She stiffened, preparing herself for his abuse. “I told you I’d get the bracelet for you, and I apologize for keeping it.”

“Please,” he said, and his eyes were soft.

Dougless looked at Gloria. Gone from the girl’s face was the smug, I’m-going-to-get-you look. Wary, Dougless went to sit on a chair across from father and daughter. Lucy, and Robert Sydney, Dougless thought. How much Gloria looked like Kit’s bride-to-be and how much this Robert resembled a sixteenth-century Robert. Dougless thought of how she and Nicholas had changed the lives of both of those people. Robert Sydney had been given no reason to hate Nicholas because Arabella had not been impregnated on a table. And Dougless had helped Lucy gain some self-confidence.

Robert cleared his throat, then spoke. “Gloria and I have been talking, and we, well, we decided that maybe we weren’t quite fair to you.”

Dougless stared at him, her eyes wide. At one point in her life she had looked at Robert while wearing a blindfold. She saw only what she’d wanted to see; she had endowed him with characteristics that he didn’t have. Now, looking back at their life together, she saw that he’d never loved her. “What do you want from me?” she asked tiredly.

“We just wanted to apologize,” Robert said, “and we’d like for you to join us on the rest of the trip.”

“You can sit in front,” Gloria said.

Dougless looked from one to the other, puzzled, not by their words, for Robert would often apologize to get her to do what he wanted, but by the sincere looks on their faces. It was almost as though they really meant what they were saying. “No,” she said softly, “I’m going home tomorrow.”

Robert reached out and took her hand. “Home to my house, I hope.” His eyes were bright. “To the house that will be ours as soon as we’re married.”

“Married?” Dougless whispered.

“Please, Dougless, I’m asking you to marry me. I was a fool not to see how good we were together.”

Dougless gave a bit of a smile. Here was what she’d wanted so much: marriage to a respectable, stable man.

She took a deep breath and smiled more broadly, for suddenly she didn’t feel like selling herself so cheaply. She was no longer the baby of the family who wasn’t as good as her big sisters. She was a woman who had been transported to a foreign time, and not only had she survived, she had succeeded in accomplishing a monumental task. No longer did she need to prove herself to her too-perfect family by bringing home an achieving husband. No, Dougless was the achiever now.

She picked up Robert’s hand and put it back on his lap. “Thanks, but no thanks,” she said pleasantly.

“But I thought you wanted to get married.” He looked to be genuinely confused.

“And Daddy said I could be your maid of honor,” Gloria said.

“When I do get married, it will be to someone who wants to give to me,” Dougless said, then looked at Gloria. “And I will choose my own bridesmaids.”

Gloria turned red and looked down at her hands.

“You’ve changed, Dougless,” Robert said softly.

“I have, haven’t I?” she answered, wonder in her voice. “I really, truly have changed.” She stood up. “I’ll get your bracelet now.”

When she started toward the stairs, Robert followed her, Gloria remaining in the lobby. He didn’t speak to her until she unlocked her room and went inside. Following her inside, he shut the door behind him.

“Dougless, is it someone else?”

She took the diamond bracelet from where she’d hidden it in her suitcase and held it out to him. “There is no one,” she said, feeling the loss of Nicholas.

“Not even the man you said you were helping to research?”

“The research is done, and he’s . . . gone.”

“Permanently?”

“As permanently as time can manage.” She looked away a moment, then back at him. “I’m quite tired now, and I have a long flight tomorrow, so I’ll say good-bye. When I get back to the States, I’ll clear my things out of your house.”

“Dougless, please reconsider. We can’t end what we’ve had because of a little argument. We love each other.”

When she looked at him, she thought about how at one time in her life she’d thought she loved him. But now she knew their relationship had been one-sided, with Dougless doing all the pleading, all the trying-to-please. “What has changed you?” she asked. “How could you leave me stranded in a foreign country with no money just a few days ago and now be here asking me to marry you?”

Robert’s face turned a bit red, and he looked away sheepishly. “I really do apologize about that.” When he looked back at her, his face was filled with sincerity—and also a little confusion. “It was the oddest thing. You know, all your family’s money used to make me furious. I put myself through medical school while living on canned beans, yet you’d always had everything. You have a family who adores you and a history of wealth that goes back centuries. I hated the way you used to play at living on your teacher’s salary, because I knew you could get all the money you ever wanted if you’d just ask. When I left you at that church, I knew Gloria had your bag, and I was glad. I wanted you to see what it was like to have to survive without money, to have to rely on yourself as I’ve always had to.”

He took a breath and his face softened. “But then, yesterday, everything changed. Gloria and I were in a restaurant, and quite suddenly I wished you were with us. I . . . I wasn’t angry at you anymore. Does that make sense? All the anger I felt for your having been given everything just evaporated. Gone, as though it’d never been there.”

He went to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “I was a fool to let someone like you get away. If you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. We don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. We don’t have to live together. I’ll . . . I’ll court you if you’ll allow me. I’ll court you with flowers and candy and . . . and balloons. What do you say? Give me another chance?”

Dougless stared at him. He said that yesterday his anger had left him. All her days in the sixteenth century had passed in just a few minutes of twentieth-century time, and during her time with Nicholas, she had defused the anger of Robert’s and Gloria’s look-alikes. Could this Robert’s anger have been based on his bitterness over what had happened in the sixteenth century? When Robert had first seen Nicholas, he had looked at him with rage. Why? Because Nicholas had once impregnated his wife?

And Gloria seemed to be no longer angry with Dougless. Because Dougless had helped an earlier incarnation of Gloria? Because an earlier Gloria no longer believed the man she loved wanted Dougless?

Dougless gave her head a shake to clear it.
Were I to die tomorrow, my soul would remember you,
Nicholas had said. Did Robert and Gloria have the souls of people who had lived before?

“Will you give me another chance?” Robert repeated.

Smiling, Dougless kissed him on the cheek. “No,” she said, “although I thank you very much for the offer.”

When she pulled away from him, Dougless was glad to see he wasn’t angry. “Someone else?” he asked again, as though his ego could stand that rejection better than her choosing to have no one rather than him.

“Sort of.”

Robert looked at the bracelet in his hand. “If I’d bought an engagement ring instead of this . . . Well, who knows?” He looked back at her. “He’s a lucky S.O.B, whoever he is. I wish you all the luck in the world.” He left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Dougless stood in the empty room for a moment, then went to the telephone to call her parents. She wanted to hear the sound of their voices.

Elizabeth answered.

“Are Mother and Dad back yet?” Dougless asked.

“No, they’re still at the cabin. Dougless, I demand that you tell me what is going on. If you’re in one of your scrapes again, you’d better tell me so I can get you out of it.
You
aren’t the one in jail this time, are you?”